CHAPTER 16:

"When we're broken, you say there's nothing to fix." ~Same Mistakes, One Direction.

Wednesday, 28th August 2013

ZAYN'S POV:

It was finally the end of another tiring session of lacrosse practice, but I don't mind 'cos we really need to win this season and I'm already so close to beating my personal best. Plus, they say practice makes you perfect. And oh, Coach had made us stay an hour late today as well. Damn.

After escaping the clutches of Coach; Liam, Josh and I along with some of the guys from the team decided to crash at Josh's house for some video games and free food.

Walking outside, I rummaged around in my pockets for my phone but came up empty. After suffering a mini heart attack, I remembered. "Dammit I forgot my phone in the damn lockers! Be right back guys."

Without waiting for a reply from anyone, I jogged back into the building and through the hallways and reached my locker. I grabbed my phone, pocketing it. Only a right idiot like me would leave his phone in the locker. Seeing my red beanie stuffed at the back, I pulled it out and tugged it on. And it reminded me of Harry.

Damn! I have no idea why even the tiniest thing reminds me of him these days. Someone seriously needs to tell me what's going on with my head.

I was about to turn back when I heard sounds from the end of the hallway. Listening closer, it sounded like someone was crying. Despite the logical part of me advising me to turn back around, the human part of me urged me to go on.

So the latter side finally won and my legs slowly moved towards the muffled sounds.

And as I rounded the corner, I was more than shocked to see Harry Styles huddled in a dark corner, head in his hands, his shoulders shaking from the occasional sobs escaping his throat. I recognized him 'cos he was wearing his checkered shirt.

I guess it was pretty fateful that I was the one that found him here instead of someone else.

A painful emotion rose in my chest when I saw his right arm, bloodied, with shards of glass still stuck in the flesh.

He still hadn't noticed my presence and without my permission, the words escaped my lips. "God, what happened, Harry?"

His head snapped up and I had to stifle my shock. His eyes were red and bloodshot, his curls unruly and matted to his forehead and blood from his arm smeared on his shirt. Completely opposite to what he always looked like.

His eyes widened when he saw me, then became glassy and emotionless. He stared at me blankly for what felt like minutes.

"Go away," he finally croaked out, burying his head back in his arms. Those words hurt me more then they should've.

I wanted to yell at him that I was doing him a fucking favor by asking about him but I couldn't bring myself to. Instead, I walked to where he was sitting against the wall and slowly crouched down about an arm's length in front of him.

I don't know why I was comforting him. This was not like me, not at all. I never cared about anyone's feelings, only mine. That's why I tease Harry, because I want to see him react to me, not 'cos I like to talk to him, because of my own amusement. Yes I know that's a fucking stupid excuse, but it's the truth.

But now, seeing him this broken, I'm sure something snapped inside of me. I felt the urge to protect him. Kinda ironic, considering the fact I'm the one who usually hurt him.

But the truth is, Harry has always intrigued me, ever since I saw him for the first time in freshman year. The way he somehow knows the things I try to hide from everyone. The way he doesn't care what anyone thinks about him, I admire that. I guess, unconsciously I had always wanted to be closer to him, and my stupid mind had thought that the only way to do that was to always make fun of him. Make him react to me.

There, I fucking said it! I always wanted to be closer to Harry in some way. And now I'm realizing, I want to be closer to him by protecting him, by getting to know him, but not by laughing at him. And I realized this right now, when I saw him so broken.

I guess that's 'cos these day, thinking about anything random somehow leads me to thoughts about Harry. And this realization is scaring the shit out of me. The only reason I've never been really civil with Harry beside professional reasons is because I'm scared that I'll open up to him. And also, like I said, I feel like he can see right through me, through the walls that I've built. Through the personality I've made up to hide.

I tentatively got closer to Harry but he didn't move, just stared at me, confused. Ignoring the rational part of my brain, I focused on the tiny voice at the back of my head, that was telling me to comfort Harry.

Finally, I slid down the wall beside him. Surprisingly, he didn't move away.

"Harry?" I tried again.

"Wh-what are you doing here Zayn?"

"I just want to know if you're okay."

"Do I look like I'm fudging okay?" I chuckled. Even in a situation like this, he isn't swearing. He looked up at me with curiosity in his green eyes.

"Probably not. That's why I'm asking you, what happened to you? To your arm?"

"Why do you care all of a sudden?" He spat, looking back down. He's right. Why do I care for him all of a sudden? Well, because I realized that I only made fun of him so I can have an excuse to talk to him. Yes, I admit. I'm messed up.

"I honestly don't know. And I'm sorry," I added. Not only sorry for this, but for all the things I did.

How I had humiliated him more than once, made him cry all those years ago, not realizing he already had way bigger problems. All of that just because of my own feelings and emotions and being scared. And not knowing what to fucking do anything about them. Do I want to be his friend? Be a protective brother? Oh god I have no idea.

"Listen Harry, it's okay. You don't have to tell me anything. But let's get you to the hospital. Your arm looks pretty bad."

He didn't say anything for a while, just stared straight ahead.

"Why did you finally say sorry? Why now?" he asked me, looking back up and I didn't know how to reply.

 >>To be continued...<<

~*~

Pssh, protective brother. Really Zayn? REALLY?

This one and the next, are my most favorite chapters so far. So many #Zarry feels, I can't...

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