“ Maybe sometimes the hardest decisions we have to make are the ones that God wants us to make ourselves. ”

“ Nore, I- I need your help. ” Josie stutters from the other side in a worried tone.

“ What's wrong Joe? ” all my laughter vanishes within a second, and millions of bad thoughts cross my mind.

“ Mom is sick, she's throwing up frequently. According to her symptoms, she has food poisoning. She told me she has taken meds but... I would've have gone to her by myself but I have an urgent surgery to assist, I can't go, but I can't leave her alone either, Nore can you please... ”

“ Don't worry, I'll take care of her, just don't panic okay, she'll be fine. ” I assure her meanwhile immediately starts looking for a cab.

“ Thanks Nore, I need to go now. ” she says and hangs the call and I put my phone inside as I wait for a cab.

“ What's up? ” Hans asks as he notices the sudden frown on my face.

“ I need to go, it's an emergency. ” saying that I rush to the cab which stops right in front of me.

He is looking super confused but I seriously have no time to explain him everything, and I know he doesn't care either.

***

Galena, a small town which is almost 3 hours away from Chicago. This is where Josie's mom lives, Josie came to Chicago for her higher medical studies while her mom lives here alone.

I've met her once, when she came to Chicago to attend an event in Josie's hospital when she was awarded with the 'Resident of the year'.

I step out of the cab after paying him through my cell as it halts right in front of Mrs Taylor's house. A small yet beautifully made, I knock the door.

A lady in her mid 60s opens the door,“ Joe, I told you I'm fine... ” she stops when her eyes fall upon me and she realises it's not her daughter Josie.

“ I'm not your Joe, but your Joe sent me to baby sit you. I'm Nora, Josie's friend and roommate. ” I giggle as I introduce myself in case she forgot as we've just met once.

“ Of course I know you Nora, come on in. ” she invites me in and I feel a little relaxed as she sounds better than I imagined because of Josie's panicked tone.

I look around as I walk inside through the narrow corridor with brown wallpaper over the walls matching with the wooden floor, “ I told her I'm fine, I'm so sorry you had to bother. ” she says in her motherly tone as we reach the small yet gorgeous living room.

“ Oh come on, you're like my mom, and I wouldn't feel bothered for taking care of my mom. ” I tell her while my Momma's image snaps inside my head.

“ How are you feeling now? ”

“ I'm much better now, actually I drank pineapple juice yesterday and didn't realize it was expired. But don't tell this to Joe, I can't handle her two hours long lecture. ” she tells me while actually looking scared of her own daughter.

I can totally feel you Mrs. Taylor, even I'm so scared of her Annabelle mode!

“ Your secret is safe with me but you should be more careful. ” I assure her with a small but genuine smile.

***

It's past 10 in the dusk and Mrs. Taylor is fast asleep in her bedroom, and I'm in Josie's bedroom on her queen size bed working on Mrs. Taylor's laptop as Male Bitch has ordered that I have to reschedule a few upcoming meetings, review today's reports, complete expenses report, drafts reports, letters of solicitation, prepare and coordinate oral and written communication with donors and prospects.

In short one week's work in one night, speaking of honesty, I'm kinda used to it by now.

About Mrs. Taylor, she's fine, I made her some oats porridge as she asked me to cook something light, and oats porridge was all I could found in the kitchen.

Confession No. 30 - I'm allergic to Oats.

And honestly I'm not even hungry, this is actually very weird with me, sometimes I feel like dying if I don't eat just for a few hours and sometimes I don't have appetite even if I don't eat all day long.

Now my eyes are betraying me, it's been a long day but I still have pending work.

Ahh leave it, will stress over it tomorrow!

I place the laptop on the bed side table and slide inside the duvet and turn off the lights.

***

“ You're a murderer, you killed your child. ” he comes closer to me, “ You're a selfish human, you don't care about anyone else but you, you're a gold digger, you deserved it, your father was right to abandon you. ”

“ What do mean he was right? ” I cry.

“ Your mother never loved you, you don't deserve to be loved, you're a heartless bitch, you should have died as soon as you were born. ”

“ Stop it! ” I scream while covering my ears with my hands.

“ You're a loser, you're a killer, you killed your child, you killed your child. ”

“ Stop it! ”

I pant heavily as I sit straight with my eyes wide open, it's dark all around, but visions still flashes in front of my eyes. I wipe the sweat from my forehead and upper lips.

That was a dream!

“ What happened Nore? ” a voice reaches my ear which my brain recognises as Josie's. It's really her right beside me. She turns on the lights while I hug her tightly like a baby who finally sees her mother after having a nightmare.

“ I'm sorry, I didn't want to do it, I'm sorry I'm sorry... ” I belt subconsciously.

“ Nora, it was just a nightmare, you're okay. What did you see? ” she asks while rubbing my back and caressing my face.

“ Josie...” I pull away and look up at her.

“ Yes Nora? ”

“ Was I selfish to abort the baby? ” I cry with my body still trembling.

She looks at me like I've asked the most difficult question on earth. I know she has tolerated me a lot, even when I couldn't myself. But this question will always be stuck in my heart.

I know it was wrong of me to abort the child without Hans' knowledge. Guess, I'm selfish and heartless. May be I really don't deserve happiness. Maybe, I'm a failure to everybody.

Josie takes my hands into hers and says,“ Giving birth to a baby then not being there to take care of it. Letting a child live without its mother. Abandoning it in this greedy world would've been selfish of you. ”

That's what I feared the most. I know how it feels like to live without parents. It feels like the whole is bullying you but no one's there to hold you tight and wipe your tears.

I'd lying if I say, after Mom's death and Mr. Williamson abandoned me, I never tried to take my own life. But I just couldn't... And when I met Hans', I thought I can have a normal life too.

Ironically, my fate has a bad sense of humor.

I could never be a good mother that a child deserves. Not giving life to a human is better than ruining it's life. This is the only thought that keeps me going.

But Josie's words always work best to calm me down, my body has stopped shivering but frequent chills are running through my body and goosebumps are still visible on my arm.

“ I had the same nightmare. ” I admit, again wrapping my arms around her.

“ Honey, it took you a long time to overcome that phase, don't go back there. ” she caresses my hairs, “ Did something happen at your office? Did someone ask you about your past which triggered this condition of yours. ” she asks in a light calmed voice as she pulls away and looks at my face.

How do I tell her that the person behind my whole trauma has come as my boss to trigger my condition himself?

“ No, I don't know, I mean I'm fine, I don't know why I had this nightmare after all this time. ” I stutter which she reacts with a not very satisfied reaction.

“ When did you come? ” I ask changing the topic.

“ When you had acquired my whole bed and were snoring soundly.” she says in a funny manner to lighten my mood which I reply with a chuckle not disappointing her,“ And hey I've taken an off today, why don't you take an off too from your work, we'll have fun here. ” she exclaims with excitement.

“ No, I can't. I already had an off yesterday, I can't have two consecutive leaves. ” I tell and turn my head towards the clock to find it's already 5 in the morning, and I'm late!

I've to go to my apartment first to change into office clothes and take my laptop then reach office by 9, I need to hurry up.

“ Shit I'm late! ” I rush out of the bed and make my way to the bathroom to get done with my morning businesses,“ Joe, please mail me the two recent files namely Draft 1 & Draft 2 from that laptop. ” I say before closing the bathroom door.

“ And also say thank you to Mrs Taylor for the Laptop. ” I yell from the bathroom while struggling to get into my skirt.

❤❤❤

❁ Too much sadness? I know, sweet chapters coming very soon. 😉