Wtf is up with my writing one week it's like this the next it's fucking dog throw up. Tbh this is one of my proudest chapters because I didn't procrastinate and be like 'oh fuck I need to post a chapter'.

She remembered being told when she was younger that if she jumped up and down after a meal she could make more room because it would all go down to her feet. That was a lesson learned the hard way. She also remembers being told that one shouldn't cry over spilled milk. Now that is just completely untrue because you can't drink milk that you've spilled all over the table and wasting food is such an awful thing after all. Well, she might concede it isn’t worth crying over per se but don't ever tell Charmy not to be put out by it- especially when the milk that's been spilled is very special milk that she doesn't often drink.

Charmy usually avoids milk- not because she doesn’t like it, but too many tests even her stomach and she hates anything that compromises her ability to enjoy a meal. But she discovered one night while out drinking in town with Vanessa that the bartender here makes [what is now on the board as] the absolute best “Charmy Gingerbread Special Milkshake” in the entire kingdom: milk and ice cream with molasses, cinnamon, ginger, clove, and just a hint of chocolate like a frosty cookie.

The presentation of the massive pink swirly straw and ginger snap hugging the rum of the glass tops it off perfectly.

Now Charmy will defend to her last breath that there's no such thing as bad food at least in theory, but she's always found that alcohol tends to be more about the destination than the ride, and doesn't taste half as good as sweet sparkly soda water or delicious juice. So when she enters the bar with a determined look and a stack of prettily wrapped pastry boxes, the old hat behind the bar doesn't waste any time in mixing up the heavenly cocktail and sliding it over with a twinkle in his eye and she sits on the stool gleefully kicking her short legs.

Of course, she's super short tonight. She learned early in life that people are much more likely to give delicious snacks to cute children and once she learned during a training mishap that her cotton magic could also shrink her proportions to some degree, she made frequent use of that ability. She also fits much better in small places- laps in particular- and she isn't too proud to admit she's taken some small advantage of that fact when it's come to someone cute. Charmy likes being held and pet and she likes that people are freer with their affection around children too, even when they know she’s really a nineteen-year-old knockout.

Her diminutive stature doesn’t seem to have any bearing on her ability to eat food, which is good since that form constantly uses mana that she needs to replenish. Food, even if it's not her Head Chef special cooking has always helped replenish her mana more than most people. She needs that today since she’s been training so hard with everyone in preparation to battle a demon in the Spade Kingdom. Charmy has never heard of any first-class chefs out of the Spade Kingdom, but the Heart Kingdom who they've allied with has some of the best sushi chefs in the world and surely, they'll all be rewarded with a banquet upon their victory, right?

So tonight, while a few of her friends are drinking and singing loudly in the corner, Charmy is at the bar carefully laying out her own private patisserie from fruit tarts to cupcakes to these delicate little puffed pastry snowflakes with the piece de resistance being the frosted glass Charmy special as big as her head waiting for her to begin. She takes a deep breath, a happy sigh, a vibrant bounce of energy as she says a small prayer of thanks, and stands upon the stool just so her mouth can reach the towering straw.

That’s when her milk is unforgivably spilled, not just tipping its sweet ambrosia all over the floor, but also flooding half of her goodies.

So there are a few things in the interim but those events don't have the same weight in her world as food about to be eaten and food ruined. Okay, so maybe one of them does; namely seeing her prince standing at the end of the bar looking like the most delectable meal saving morsel known to man. Vanessa had once referred to him as a “snack”, and Charmy had scoffed at that one because if Yuno was anything, it was a protein-packed succulent skewer of beef drizzled in a slightly sweet, slightly spicy sauce, melt in your mouth tender and… and that analogy had given her a craving for barbecue and brisket both. Yuno, like the brisket she went on to explain while she ate, was absolutely worth the slow marinade and hours of cooking to savor sinking her teeth in.

Someone may have commented that nothing made a guy more nervous than talk of sinking in teeth and then someone else chimed in that real man like the hint of fiery danger, and she doesn't recall what happened after that because she was lost to the flavor of smoky meat and the daydream of Yuno letting her lick his barbecue sticky fingers clean.

Needless to say, seeing him at the end of the bar stopped her completely, torn between diving right into her shake and maybe transforming back to her usual sexy bigger form to offer him a cupcake. He didn't notice her consternation, nor her at all and she had just about decided that she could take a quick drink before absolutely getting his contact information this time! Of course, that was when the overgrown moth always fluttering about took notice and was already positioning herself between the two of them. So it was on and fired up, Charmy snatched a cream-filled sandwich cookie for extra energy going into battle, undid the childish transformation as she slid off the stool, and marched right into the mouth of hell cupcake in hand.

Yuno looked up, startled a moment, but without the little irritating wrinkle between his eyebrows that she noticed tended to flash for a lot of other people before he took the cupcake with a smile. Charmy was totally counting that as a victory even as her bitter rival flew interception with those annoying scales right as she was trying to ask her prince what his favorite type of dessert was. The sylph would make a tasty kabob, Charmy thought as glitter flew (and got in her shake!), and with a blast of wind, the entire glass went toppling over.

Time stops, she thinks, and wonders if this is what it feels like to be caught in the Wizard King’s Chrono Stasis. Because she can see the slow motion of the mile-high glass topple but she's powerless to stop it. Even cotton magic at this point wouldn’t hold the glass and she thinks a small whimper might squeak its way out of her throat as her bun is windblown too. She wishes she had fire magic right now to fry that little bug to a crisp! Getting between her and Yuno is one thing but ruining her dessert is.

“Unforgivable,” she croaks out, her fists balled at her sides. This could be training. Yes, her mana gathers and the goal of swatting the fly out of the sky-

“-unforgivable is coming between me and Yuno when we're on a date!” is fired back as a tired sigh of “this isn’t a date,” goes unheeded.

The drink is slid smoothly across the bar, right in front of the fired-up spirit, a bright pink sparkling cocktail that smells like a meadow of fresh strawberries which immediately catches Charmy’s attention.

“Please refrain from attack spells inside the establishment,” comes the entreaty directed, not at her, but at Yuno’s annoying little hanger-on. Charmy turns from the drink to the bartender, a keen sense of betrayal that her longtime friend and confidante would turn on her in such a way as to offer that bug a drink before her but- “It’s on the house,” he continues giving Charmy a look that passes just between the two of them. She can take a hint, but she sure would like to know what sort of hint it’s supposed to be when she notices that her rival has gone from fired up to drawn over like a hummingbird to a bright flower. Charmy closes her mouth mid yell, and notices, as she absently grabs a cupcake that escaped the flood, that the pesky moth is drinking the cocktail faster.

The speed at which the cocktail is imbibed is enough to tempt Charmy into nearly asking to try one herself, alcohol, or not when she sees that following a final uncharacteristically lusty swig the sylph passes completely out, face nearly as pink as the drink. Charmy never would’ve guessed a spirit could become drunk, especially like that, but the bartender is already in full clean up mode promising to make her a new drink. Well, that’s a fine how do you do when half of her goodies are-

She gasps, seeing with a second look that everything she thought had been ruined is completely untouched. Charmy nearly sobs in relief as she bites into the sweet buttercream icing of the cupcake in her hand, letting the icing melt into gooey heaven just a moment.

“I don’t have a favorite,” reaches her ears out of the blue, and Charmy nearly gasps when she realizes that Yuno had heard her question and actually answered it! But to not have a favorite dessert? She looks up at him confused. He definitely likes sweet things. He’s enjoyed everything that she’s given him so far so that couldn’t be it.

“Do you ah… have a favorite food?” she asks, thinking of Asta and his love of ‘potatoes just as Yuno gives the sleeping sylph a slight poke.

There’s an unconscious titter and a mumble of “Yuno,” which seems to satisfy him before Yuno turns to look back towards the kitchen. He has such a dreamy profile, her prince! Ahh, what food could he be thinking about? ‘Tatoes like Asta? Does he like anpan ? I bet he likes salty foods like pickles. Eel! They have good eel in the Heart Kingdom. When all this is over we can share eel from the same plate and-

“I don’t have a favorite food either,” he says, shattering that reverie and she knows that her face has to betray that shock when he turns back to her after a long silence. No favorite food? How could that be? How could someone live this long, have eaten so many meals, and not have found… not have developed, not have looked deep inside their culinary soul to find the one meal above all others that brings them bliss? She nearly drops her cupcake, making a daring save instead, managing to stuff it into her mouth first. Nice save!

But his face is slightly pink, and maybe he feels embarrassed because she was staring (or blurted all of that out loud) and she clears her throat about to do a little detective work when he continues softly that he’d only ever eaten ‘tatoes and the occasional birthday cake when he was growing up. She thinks it’s the most that he’s ever spoken to her, and he’s turned his attention back to the chocolate cupcake in his hand. She notices now, like she hadn’t before, how carefully he peels back the paper, how his eyes take in the delicate piping of icing making the chocolate tuft on top, each little sugary gem placed just so.

He takes a hearty bite, but not before one last brief little pause that anyone else who wasn’t a connoisseur like Charmy, might miss. His eyes flutter just a bit, and Charmy thinks that she’s fallen even more in love with him, this meal saving prince who’s a food innocent, a blank palate for her to mold and nurture but who can clearly be introduced gently and slowly into the joy of eating delicious food. She also thinks how much she’d like to lick that little bit of frosting from the corner of his mouth. Is she drooling? Maybe. Well, nothing another cookie won’t fix. She grabs a chocolate chip this time along with a deep breath. It’s always easier to think when she’s chewing something tasty.

It’s sad, really. A person who clearly enjoys food being deprived of the true pleasures of eating. Even if she wasn’t head over heels, Charmy would feel obligated to help such a wayward lost soul find his true calling. Maybe that’s why they had met that day- not because she had needed a prince to save her food but because he needed her to save his taste buds from an existence devoid of sensual gluttony. Well, never let it be said that Charmy couldn’t also be a hero when called. That’s what being a Magic Knight was about, after all.

“Alright!” she declared, feeling her spirit fired up just as a second beautiful shake appeared in front of her. “Fear not, sweet prince, Charmy is here to rescue you!” She stands up a little straighter, seeing him looking at her confused after taking another slow bite. She sees just the slightest raise of an eyebrow as she takes a long drink of fresh thick shake, just the perfect sweet spice and snap which makes her sigh. Charmy is sure to smile at him as she nobly pushes the glass towards him. “A sophisticated challenge for an unseasoned gourmand, but you have to go beyond your limits!” She sounds like Captain Yami and feels rather proud of that. When she becomes captain of her own squad she’ll lead just as strongly (and with much less time in the bathroom since she knows the value of fiber!)

“This is... training?” he asks as if he doesn’t quite believe it. His eyes focused on the soft curls of vapor in the air as the cold glass sits in the warm tavern. Charmy thinks she may be the only one who notices that, and the way that his eyes focus, beautiful honey-colored eyes missing nothing, makes her heart beat faster.

“Of course! I take my training very seriously.” That may be said through a mouthful of cupcake and there’s just the slightest curl in his mouth like he might be making fun of her, but there isn’t malice, there isn’t any insult that follows as Yuno just shrugs and takes a long thoughtful sip from the same straw! Charmy melts, absolutely sinks into a happy puddle of goo, nearly missing the arrival of one of the cooks in the back with a stack of carefully wrapped boxes.

Immediately, she smells the sweet tomato basil sauce and bacon, a whiff of parmesan and for one moment wonders if he hasn’t betrayed her by lying about his gastro virginity.

“They really need to pick up their own food,” she hears him grumble with a soft follow up of “my seniors”. Was that explanation for her benefit? Charmy identifies the carbonara, the marinara, the manicotti by their smell, and gives a wistful sigh as she eats another cookie and watches him finish the cupcake with an unconscious lick of his fingers. Royals don’t have that same mixture of consideration and gusto. Everything is precise and sterile and incredibly ugly. But not Yuno, she thinks as the dreamy prince gives Sleeping Noisy another poke.

“You’re not going to eat any of it?” Charmy asks, incredulous that members of the Golden Dawn would be so cruel as to send someone to pick up food they couldn’t even eat. Monstrous! Absolutely-

“I wouldn’t even know what to order,” he says simply, and her heart breaks for him just a little more as she imagines him sitting at the table wherever Golden Dawn eats, slurping some tasteless gruel or another in a big pile of dry poorly prepared ‘tatoes.

“T-tomorrow, then,” Charmy decides, any earlier bashfulness is overridden by her mission as he takes the package and the sylph far more tenderly than she deserves. “Tomorrow outside of town, meet me at the southern grove and I’ll train with you!” He looks bemused. He looks like he might decline, and she swipes a few nervous nibbles of a macaroon before pressing another into his hand like a promise.

“Training?” he asks again, looking from her to the soft coconut pillow in his palm. He studies it like his eyes are navigating a complex puzzle, tracing a maze through the uneven terrain. Charmy wants to feed it to him and nearly misses the soft “okay” that follows. The second long dreamy sip of shake is the best that she ever tastes in her life.