Fools rush to take sides. Stay independent to get the support of others and not get swept up in someone else's fight.

Part 1: Do not commit to anyone but be courted by all.

In love and business, people will go above and beyond to pursue you. Once they feel that they have you, you lose part of your power. It is human nature to chase after something, but if the reward comes too quickly we lose interest. You can see this in children who are showered with toys. They rapidly lose interest and are careless with their toys. The Bachelorette would be a short and uninteresting show if she were to settle on one of the guys quickly. And in business, you gain negotiating power if people know you are shopping around. He or she who makes the most friends wins.

Part 2: Do not commit to anyone – stay above the fray.

When faced with a situation where you have to choose sides, it often pays off to hesitate. And when you pledge to take a side, it should be done so superficially, as not to make enemies with the other side. Do you ever watch movies where there is an epic battle? Oftentimes, it will look like one side is just about to be crushed, when a third army comes in to join the fight. The new army easily destroys the other side and helps the heroes win. I often ask myself, why didn't they come sooner? So much loss could have been avoided. But think about this as a tactic. By the time the new army comes, both sides are already worn down by battle. They use their fresh strength to quickly win the fight and become the dramatic saviors of the story. They are the true victors.

I have been loyal to a fault for those I have worked for. I thought this was a virtue but it proved to be foolish indeed.

One of my bosses was not very well-liked among his peers. In meetings, the others would ask accusing questions and I saw my boss struggling to find the words to say. I came to his defense whenever I could. As a result, I became the loudest voice in those meetings and they focused their attacks on me instead. By showing my loyalty, the others lumped me in with my boss and I became their enemy too.

Another time, I was on a project led by a creative director I knew well. She had a lot of great ideas when it was just the two of us. But when we met with the client, her ideas stayed buried and we would go in a completely different direction. One time, when I saw this happen, I tried to support the creative director. I brought up one of her ideas from the day before, which was an opposing point of view. I thought this would give her the courage to speak up and support her own idea. I could not have been more wrong. They both ended up looking at me like I was crazy. Then I was mortified when she dismissed me like it was the silliest thing she ever heard.

The moral of this story is, you are not doing yourself or anyone any favors by acting on their behalf. Let people fight their own battles.