☠︎︎☠︎︎

I splay my hands over my pregnant belly, happy to feel my babies move around. "Mommy loves you both, so much, yes I do." I coo to my stomach and my babies nudge against my hands.

"Daddy loves you too." I look up at the sound of my husband's voice with a grin. "Come over here! They're moving like crazy."

Harry walks over to the bed and situates us so that I'm facing him while straddling him. He puts his big paws he calls hands over my own and feels for them.

"Say something Haz, they wanna hear their daddy's voice."

Harry's long curly hair flops in his face as he leans down slightly, as if he can hear our babies. I stifle my giggles and wait for him to speak.

"I love you, you, and your mommy." The babies go crazy inside of me and I laugh in joy.

Suddenly I feel a deep pressure in the middle of my belly. I gasp as the pressure intensifies and turns into burning pain.

"Harry-" I look up and gasp at the horrifying sight before me.

Harry's eyes are completely black, his smile is disturbed by razor sharp teeth that elongate all the way to his chin, and the iron smell of blood fills the air.

Screaming in pain, I look down to see Harry's razor clawed hands inside of my belly, ripping and destroying.

Destroying my babies.

"HARRY NO! PLEASE STOP!"

My screaming is drowned out by his laughter as he rips his hand from my stomach, slicing it open and spilling its bloody contents.

I fall to the ground, thick blood pouring out and surrounding my curled up frame. Weak, too weak to do anything, all I can do is weep for my babies.

Soft hands smooth over my hair. With the strength I have left, I open my eyes. My Harry is back, but his smile is gone. He just stares at me blankly.

"It will always be me."

▪︎▪︎▪︎

I wake up, gasping and shuddering. Instinctively, I wrap my arms around my large belly and rock back and forth until reality bleeds back into my consciousness.

I slightly relax the death grip from around my belly, but I don't remove my arms completely.

I close my eyes in emotional torment, a lone tear rolling down my cheek.

I've been having this dream, this nightmare for the past two weeks. It makes no sense to me. After the initial shock of it, I tried to analyze it, but got nowhere. Now I don't think it means anything except that my Harry dreams/nightmares are getting worse.

Wiping the stray tears from my cheeks, I stand up and try to shake the dream off of me.

Today I am super excited, and no nightmare is going to change that.

I'm going to meet Anna's husband, in person, at our favorite cafe. Anna and I have been going there everytime we want to meet up because the smell of coffee is immaculate. We choose not to drink it, although our doctor advised that we could. So, smelling the rich aroma inside the cafe is amazing.

As I grow bigger, I grow fonder of dresses. However, I'm trying to be classy today so I decide on pants.

I slip on white silk dress pants with a red, silk long sleeved button up. Somehow I manage to tuck the shirt into my pants without disrupting my huge belly. Like, my belly popped out literally overnight. My small cantaloupe belly turned into two huge watermelons combined together.

Okay so, maybe I'm exaggerating a little. But you would too if you woke up one morning and couldn't see your damn feet!

Speaking of my damn feet, it takes me nearly twenty minutes to stuff them into snow white, glossy boots. When I do finally get them in, I'm out of breath and my cheeks are flushed.

I choose to leave my hair down in its natural, slightly wavy, state. Honestly, I'm just too tired, from putting on my shoes, to do anything else with it.

I know we'll be eating at the cafe, but I can't help myself. In the kitchen, I grab a giant dark chocolate muffin and a bottle of chocolate milk. I've been craving chocolate lately, but I'm trying to control my cravings and not let them control me. I'm 20 weeks (aka 5 months) pregnant, but I don't see Dr. Watson until I'm 24 weeks (6 months).

I know I'm not about to give birth or anything, but I am so excited to meet my babies. I think I'm more excited than Daria. That's saying something because the girl is already contemplating color schemes for their nursery.

I imagine all the time what my little beans will look like and how their personalities will be. They're identical twins, and I cannot wait to dress them up in matching outfits. Like, straight up, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson style. They'll be matching until they get old enough to complain about it.

The only thing I'm nervous about is being a bad mom. I don't want to treat my kids the way my mom treated me. I fear that every single day and that fear is almost as big as the excitement I feel.

Lost in my thoughts, I eat my chocolate snack slowly, almost in a trance. I'm snapped out of it when my phone vibrates on the counter.

Niall is calling me.

I let it ring for a minute before groaning and answering it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ellie, how are you?" I've been avoiding him, but I admit that it does make me happy to hear my friend's voice.

"I'm good Niall, how are you?"

Niall sighs. "I wish I could say I'm okay, but keeping up with gang business can be hard sometimes, especially now."

My eyebrows lift. "Oh? Why especially now?"

There's a silence, then- "Did I say especially now? No, I-I just meant all of the times." I stare at the phone with a stink face before putting it back to my ear.

"What?"

"Soooooo, do you have anything planned for today, El?" I ignore the fact that he's changing the subject, and being weird. I just answer his question.

"Actually, I'm going out to have lunch with my friend and her husband. I'm actually really excited." I grin at the thought of seeing Anna again.

"Um, well, maybe you should stay home today Ellie. You know, rest those swollen pregnant feet." My smile drops at Niall's words.

"What?" Didn't I just say that? I feel myself at the beginning stages of being pissed.

"Well, I just think for the safety of your bab-"

"Niall just stop! What the hell has been going on with you lately?" I feel slightly offended that he doesn't think that I'm keeping my babies safe. Just who does he think he is?

"I don't know what you're talking-"

"Don't you dare patronize me! You know exactly what I'm I'm talking about! You have been weird, invasive, and a bit clingy. What the hell is going on, Niall?"

He breathes out harshly on the other line. For a moment, I think he's actually going to answer my question. But then he hangs up and I'm left sitting in silent fury.

I sit with my head in my hands for a few moments, trying to stay calm. I've been getting worked up this whole pregnancy, and Dr. Watson has already warned me, twice, about lowering my stress levels. I try my hardest to shake that encounter off like it didn't even happen.

I'm going to have fun today if it's the last damn thing I do.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

As I pull up to the cafe, I think about how conveniently placed it is. The cafe sits in the middle of everything. On the left is a homey bookstore, and on the right is a mini park with a playground. Anna has brought Poppy with her plenty of times to play while we sat on the benches and talked. Then we would go to the cafe where Poppy always requests hot chocolate with peppermint. No one likes peppermint as much as that girl does.

Today, I park in front of the cafe and make my way inside. I curse at the fact that my nylon white coat is not thick enough for this sudden winter air. I practically run into the building, wanting to warm up my frozen limbs.

When I burst through the door, a few startled customers look at me funny, but I ignore them. I inhale the deep smell of coffee, completely lost in the sauce.

"Ellie!"

My eyes snap open at the familiar voice, and I see Anna and a man sitting at one of the round tables, far in the back. I happily make my way over to them, just a teeny bit nervous.

As I get closer to them, the man stands and holds his hand out. "Hey, I'm Calvin, Anna's husband. It's nice to finally put a face to the name my wife and daughter are always talking about."

Chuckling, I take his hand and give a firm handshake. "It's nice to meet you too, Calvin. I'm Ellie... but you already know that." My cheeks heat up in embarrassment, but Calvin just laughs.

We get settled in our seats and as we start talking, I try to focus on the conversation instead of the addictive coffee aroma. I take off my coat and place it on the back of my chair, settling in with my hands on my stomach.

"So, Ellie, what line of work are you in?"

The question surprises me and I realize that Anna and I never really talked about our jobs before.

"Well, I used to be a library assistant, but that seems like a lifetime ago. Now..." Well crap. What did I want to do with my life now? An actual job hasn't crossed my mind since Harry told me he paid off my old boss. Even if I did want to work, I'm not sure that I could, given my condition. I would probably have to get permission from Dr. Watson. Do I even want to work? Harry left me enough money to last three lifetimes, but that's strictly for the children or the very bare necessities (house, car, etc.). I have my own money saved, but it's not about the money. In my thoughts, I find that I do want to work. I'm just not sure where, or how I would even begin to look.

"Now, I would like to work, but I'm not sure if it's safe. I'll probably have to have a conversation with my doctor." Anna listens intently to my words and asks, "What do you mean, El?"

I absentmindedly rub my protruding stomach, feeling one of the babies slightly nudge my hand. "Well, my pregnancy is high risk. Last year I got into an accident and was told that I'd never be able to have kids." Anna and Calvin's eyes widen, and I laugh. "Yeah, so you can imagine my surprise when I found out. Basically, I need to be very careful and calm during this pregnancy so my children can be safe. I'm not sure if working would be safe for them."

To my shock, Anna has tears in her eyes. She leans over the booth and awkwardly, but affectionately hugs me. "Oh my God, I am so happy for you, Ellie." She sniffles in my hair, but I find myself tearing up as well.

"Thank you."

After a while, Anna's grip gets a little tight and Calvin has to literally pry her off of me. I can't help but laugh as I watch the two of them bicker with each other. With the roll of his obsidian eyes, Calvin ends there "conversation".

"So, I'm in the military, as you probably know, but I also own my own gym not too far from here. Anna is an artist and sells her work on Etsy." My eyes light up at the interesting information. "Really? How did I not know this? What kind of art do you do, Anna?"

"Well, I haven't done anything new since I'm pregnant, so I'm kind of on a hiatus. It drives me crazy to keep my creativeness pent up, so now I'm trying out pottery. I can show you some of my work instead of telling you." She pulls out her phone and taps on it a few times before handing it to me.

I scroll through her phone, shocked at her talent. "Anna, holy crap! These are amazing!"

She blushes as I hand back her phone. "Thank you." Calvin looks at her proudly and wraps his arm around her. "Yeah, my Anna is pretty damn amazing." She looks up at him, a rosy pink blush on her cheeks, and lightly kisses his lips while I suddenly feel like the third wheel.

When they pull away, Anna gives me a warm smile. "So, are you hungry?"

I laugh, "Do you even have to ask?" Anna laughs and elbows Calvin in the ribs. "Go get us food husband. The usual."

Amusement flickers in Calvin's eyes as he looks at his heavily pregnant wife. "You have to tell me what 'the usual' is, dear." Anna rolls her eyes. "I get a blackberry cream cheese scone and hot chocolate. Ellie gets an extra large cinnamon roll, with extra cinnamon, and a pumpkin spiced hot chocolate. Oh, but also get me a gingerbread muffin, okay hon?"

Calvin salutes and gets up from his seat. "Aye aye captain." He turns to leave, but I stop him.

"Wait Calvin, here." I hold out money for my portion of the food, but he just waves me off. "It's on me, Ellie."

"But-" He speed walks away with his fingers in his ears so he doesn't hear my protests. Anna thinks it's the most hilarious thing in the world, but I feel bad. My bank account is practically vomiting money. I know Anna and Calvin work hard for their money, while I didn't do anything to deserve Harry's money. The least I could've done was paid for them.

Anna must see the conflict on my face because she reaches her hand out and gently takes mine. "Hey, it's okay, really. It's no problem, El." I squeeze her hand and try to give her a smile. "Okay, thanks."

I make a mental note to anonymously give them money somehow.

While we wait for Calvin, Anna and I play this game that we do everytime we come here. She invented it, and it's surprisingly fun. Basically I pick a random person, and Anna has to make up their life story, then vice versa.

"Okay, that guy with the blue hair by the window." Anna taps her chin as she stares at the guy. "Hmm, okay he works at the local mechanic shop, but he's always angry because he has big dreams. He comes to this cafe to plan his dreams, although he knows that he'll never do it."

"Ooh, that's good, Ann. Okay, your turn." Anna surveys the cafe before her eyes zero in on someone. "Blonde chick with the cheekbones of a goddess, sitting right in the middle of the cafe. Go."

I look at the girl she's talking about, and my eyes slightly widen at how gorgeous she is.

I think for a moment, before coming up with something. "Her name is Petra, and she's a lifeguard at an indoor pool and people always ask her if she's a model. This is her favorite place to think, and to get away from the constant attention."

Anna laughs as she watches the unknown girl. "That's actually pretty interesting, El. I mean, you came up with a name and everything." I grin smugly at the compliment. We do a few more people before Calvin comes back with the food.

Anna and I practically descend on the baked goods like vultures, and Calvin has to stifle his laughter. Anna, gives him the evil eye, like she knows exactly what he's doing. I just stuff my face and watch them in amusement.

We spend the next hour talking, and eating some more before they have to go and pick up Poppy. They promise me that next time they'll bring her, and we'll spend time at the mini park. After they leave, I sit there and finish up my drink. I think about how much I like them, and how I'm happy to have them as friends.

Suddenly, a loud squeal interrupts my musing.

I look over to see that gorgeous blonde girl, from the game, standing up and hugging a man. She has her face buried in his neck and his is buried in hers.

I start to smile at their cuteness, when the man slightly lifts his head.

Air whooshes out of me and it feels as if my heart has stopped.

The man's hair is cut short, but it's still curly. Rings adorn his fingers, except for one. His ring finger is empty. But the one thing that makes my world tilt, is the scar on his forehead. It's in the exact same spot where I stitched him up on the very first day I met him. As I stare at the man, my body feels hot and cold, and everything in my body constricts.

"H-Harry?"

As if he hears me, his closed eyes open, revealing a green I never thought I'd see again.