Cyrus' pov

I woke up with a groan.

Yesterday when I came hom- I mean when I came to TJ's house- wait should I call it my home?

I'm not sure but, when I got here, Tj was going to say something to me, but I ran all the way upstairs and burst into tears.

I cried myself to sleep and I'm now waking up.

I walked to the bathroom to get ready for school, and I glanced at myself in the mirror, and saw tear stains on my cheeks.

I wasn't surprised. I see myself like this every morning due to me constantly crying every night.

But last night, it was bad. I wasn't just crying because of my mom. I was crying because of Tj.

He's been so nice to me, and I treat him now like he's done everything wrong to me. It's not that I don't like him anymore.

Actually I think I might be in love with him, but it's just when Kira is around, I feel like I mean nothing.

I feel like she's all he cares about. Like she's now his best friend. Or maybe even more than that!

Maybe they are secretly dating and he won't tell me, because he's afraid of how I'll react. I shouldn't even be thinking about this right now. I have to get ready for school.

Once I was done taking a shower, I went downstairs, only to be met with a pair of green, emerald eyes.

I looked right into them, and I tried to turn away but I couldn't. I saw something in TJ's eyes that make me feel like he hated me.

I felt tears forming in my eyes, and I brought my hand up to wipe them away. I turned towards the kitchen and began making myself cereal.

I brought my bowl to the table and sat down, not thinking about looking up once.

As I began eating I didn't realize I was already starting to cry. I felt someone touch my shoulder, but I didn't look up.

They began to wrap their arms around me and I only just buried my head into their chest, not planning to let go. I wasn't going to look up, because I already knew it was Tj.

"What's wrong, muffin?" TJ said in his soft voice.

"you hate me" I said in between my cries.

"no I don't. I could never hate you, even if I tried." He paused, and put his hand underneath my chin and lifted it up.

"Your too perfect for anyone to hate you" He said in a whisper.

Right then and there, I would've kissed him. I would've kissed him and I never would've stopped.

Only if. If he was gay. If he liked me. But he only wants to be my friend.

"T-thanks.." I said and smiled.

Me and Tj we're walking to school, and all I could do was smile. He told me I was perfect.

Me. How could someone like me be perfect? If I was perfect, I wouldn't be hated by literally everyone in the school.

When we were about to walk through the doors, someone grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side.

I started getting nervous and I turned around and saw Tj. I sighed in relief.

"Tj you scared me!" I said, swatting his arm away from me.

"Sorry its just that shes over there" He said pointing to someone.

I looked to where he was pointing and saw Kira.

"So?" I said slightly confused

"I don't want her to see me! She's so annoying and she's always bothering me" He said annoyed.

"Oh" I said finally realizing what he means.

A small smile formed on my lips as I thought about it more.

Turns out him and Kira aren't friends.

I was now smiling widely and, Tj looked at me confused.

"What?" He said puzzled.

"Oh nothing it's just I thought you and Kira were friends" I said still smiling

He smiled, and bit his lip slightly.

Oh god. He's so perfect. I could get lost in his eyes and never find my way out. He just has that effect on me. The slightest things he does, drives me crazy.

The wind was strong, and made my hair a bit messy, but I didn't care very much. All I could do was stare at Tj.

"Your so...cute" Tj said. Once he realized what he said, he covered his mouth with his hands and his eyes went wide.

He was staring at me shocked at what had come out of his mouth. After about a minute, the bell rang. I smiled at Tj.

"You too" I said, walking away.

It was finally lunch time, and I couldn't wait to meet Vanessa. And on the other note I got to sit with Tj again, so that was really exciting too.

I got to the table and saw Tj waiting for me. I smiled so much that my face eventually started hurting.

"Hey underdog" Tj exclaimed in a cheerful voice.

"Hey Teej" I said with a cheeky smile

I turned to Jonah instantly.

"When do I get to meet her?!" I questioned.

"Who?" Jonah said confused. "Oh!" He finally realized.

"She texted me and said she would be here in a few minutes, she's just grabbing some things from her locker" Jonah said, clearly nervous.

I waited for a long time, and started getting anxious. I was an impatient person, and it has only been about 2 minutes!

"Exactly who, are we waiting for?" Tj said

"Jonah's sister!" Me, Andi, And Buffy shouted.

Tj looked a little taken aback about how loud we were, but I didn't really care. I just need to meet Vanessa.

After about 3 more minutes, Jonah said she was here. I looked around and I didn't see anyone who looked like Jonah.

"I don't see her" I said standing up, and looking around more.

"She's right there" he said pointing to somewhere.

I checked where he was pointing, and I saw a tall girl, that had long brown hair, and brown chocolate eyes. She looked at Jonah and waved, running over to us.

"Hey Jonah. Jonah's friends." She said in an excited voice.

"Hey V" Jonah said

"So are you gonna introduce me to your friends? I clearly wanna get to know them them!" She said loudly

"Ok geez." Jonah said in an annoyed tone.

Vanessa frowned, and looked at all of us.

"Ok so this is Andi, Cyrus, Buffy, and Tj" Jonah said pointing to each one of us individually.

"Oh cool." she said pausing and looking around us confused.

"Which one's gay?" She said facing Jonah.

My face suddenly got hot. I had no idea Jonah told her that someone was gay. Tj has no idea I'm gay, and I don't want him to find out this way.

Before I could say something Jonah was already pointing at me.

"Oh cyrus is" Jonah said in a cool way

None of them looked at me besides Tj.

"Your gay?" Tj said.

I couldn't read his face, but he was most likely disgusted.

"I- um I..I have to go" I said, tears running down my face.

I ran all the way to the bathroom, and all I could hear was Tj yelling my name.

I fell down the wall, and brought my knees up to my chest.

My breathing was quick, and it started getting really hot in here.

I knew what this was.

A panic attack.

But it wasn't a normal, panic attack.

It was different.

It was worse.

⚛️