《Backtoliving》Chapter 8 : Deep thoughts
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POV Cammie
I can't sleep. Kara is asleep next to me, she seems so peaceful. I am not. I mean, this party wasn't anything special compared to others. We drunk a lot, revealed some embarrassing secrets, did some stupid stuff. Nothing big happened, nothing unusual. But here I am, at 4 am, still awake. I need some fresh air. I take my shoes and as quietly as possible I leave the bedroom, go downstairs and leave the house for a night walk on the beach.
Few hours ago, we were all laughing at Shannon swimming naked in the sea because she lost one stupid game I can't even remember. And now I feel quite empty. Why?
'night Cam. Love you.
My thoughts bring me about 8 years ago, when I started to speak with this girl.
I think I might like you a little bit... I think I might like you a lot
Our first kiss bringing a second one. A second kiss resulting in a relationship. A relationship evolving with living together. Living together meaning ending everyday earing her telling me 'night Cam, love you'. It was perfect with all its imperfections. We were young, in love, building our life together. I pictured her becoming my wife, growing old, having kids and two dogs. But our love wasn't enough... why? I met Kara really soon after the breakup. She metamorphosed my life in an unexpected way. She wasn't a new Shannon neither a replacement girlfriend. She obviously wasn't. She still isn't. What we have is real, I felt for her at the minute I met her. I mean, look at her. She is so cute, and adorable. She is one of the nicest person I ever met, and funny, and everything you can look for.
I completely cut out Shannon of my life last few years. I didn't see her, except some rare occasions, we didn't speak or hangout. We didn't really had any closure. And maybe it feels late now to do it but I really need to think about it. We broke up in love but this love wasn't enough to make each other happy. We were too much together, all the time, not having our own safe space to be alone. Love is not something which appears or disappears instantaneously, it takes time. You can't say I felt in love at this moment. You fall in love by spending time with this person, enjoying her company, discovering her and at some point you are just in love and can't remember when it starts.
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The question which bothers me is when did I stop loving her? It is a long process, proper to everyone. But now I have doubts. Did I ever stop loving her? And is it ok to still have feelings for her? Why do I think about it now? Tonight bring a lot of memories in my head, but I started to think about it before. The first morning when we ran together...this is the moment when I started to think about our previous life together. I don't think it was consciously but more like the way it felt so normal being alone with her, running in a paradisiac place, watching her discreetly and admiring her perfect body, catching her gaze sometime, smiling, feeling happy... It felt normal. I felt good.
Tonight, I couldn't help but watching her a lot. Same as I do with Kara. Every vision of her or my girlfriend doing anything cute or funny would bring a cheesy smile on my face. It is not right. I am in love with Kara and it is not right to look at Shannon this way. I take my phone to go on internet and watch old pictures of us. I sometime regret that our relationship was so open on internet. Every day I have some notifications because of fan art about us : drawing, fanfictions, videos.... Are you guys ever gonna get back together? I can't escape it. Even if I almost didn't saw Shannon for years, everyday something on internet would remind me of her. I usually hate it, but not today. Today thank to internet, I can watch some memories I deleted of my phone. I watch our first video together, and then another one. It seemed so simple at the time, being in a relationship with the women I loved. love...loved...love.
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Medic!~
Have you ever considered the differences between MMORPG characters and actual fantasy characters?Playing Legendary Tales Online again after many, many years an old, out of shape, and homely man decided he'd become the young, fit, and impossibly beautiful cleric/alchemist elf boy ""Healz Pleaze"" (better names and classes not being available)... and was rather surprised that he kept getting murdered by other players... for being an impossibly beautiful elf boy. And then he died for real from a heart attack.He somehow came back to life in a completely new and real fantasy world with its own fantasy rules... as an impossibly beautiful elf boy.Has his life turned around for the better? Probably not.Can he at least change that godawful NAME?What can an MMO character trapped in a Healer/Buffer role offer to a fantasy world? For that matter, what can a fantasy world offer to an MMO character?
8 158The Skies of Aurora (To be rewritten in the future)
The Skies of Aurora A world full of thousands of islands spread throughout an endless sky with no ground to be seen beneath them. Here we find Shawn Blake, who lives a quiet life near a dungeon on the Isle of Fallen Snow. Very few people ever visit the Isle of Fallen Snow because there is only one dungeon that has a connection to the island in all of the endless Skies of Aurora. Thanks to that, Shawn has been able to live peacefully on the island with nothing but his training to worry about, despite being a hybrid of more than one of the five ruling races. However, unfortunately for Shawn, his peaceful life is about to come to an end as some visitors make their way to the Isle of Fallen Snow for reasons unknown. The world of Aurora is a world of endless skies full of floating islands separated by open air with the void far below them, and the only way to get from one island to another is through portals that are located at the end of each dungeon. These portals are connected to the central portal on another island. This book is a litrpg, fantasy, and sky world all in one. I hope you enjoy my book, and I welcome any and all suggestions.
8 263Gilded
A child experiences the unknown during his awakening, exposing him to the cosmic truth. He spends the next seven years designing, hiding, waiting for the perfect time to start his plans. Now nineteen, he sets his schemes in motion, doing anything to achieve his goals. On hiatus atm
8 92AROWNE'S REBIRTH
There was this one guy that lived in modern earth, he died in his 20's, and somehow due to mysterious reasons he was granted the chance to be reborn with his memories intact by some servant of the creator of all worlds with one wish granted,as for the world in itself,he was given the choice of suggesting a theme, and it will be selected at randomi will create a discord in the future for the fansand for the record when the discord is made the fans can take part in making the story
8 137Of Blood and Bones
In a land filled with terrible behemoths and towering leviathans, what place will man take? Will he hide high in frozen mountain fortresses eaking out a survuival amongst the frigid peaks? Or will he build and defend great nations surrounded by walls that reach to the sky? What does a people, or an individual, do to survive in this strange and hostile world? What powers may be found by those willing and brave enough to harness the blood and bones of the very gods that walk among them?
8 93His painful rejection
Kristen Matthews is a sweet and shy she-wolf who has been through a lot. Losing her parents at a young age and being the packs only punching bag you think that would be enough. She dreams about finding her mate. A mate who will protect her and save her from her horrible pack.But sadly what she expect doesn't turn out to be what she want. The day of her 16 birthday the mandatory year that a wolf shifts and finds their mate she becomes excited and full of hope but her hope soon vanishes when she finds out that her mate is none other than...Roy Weston soon to be alpha of the Blood moon pack.Always being beaten up is one thing but being rejected is another pain one that you can't help but try to forget. Being rejected pushes her to her limit. Without taking a single glance back to her horrible pack house she disappears into the forest in hope for a new life a new beginning.She doesn't know what will happen next or what she will do the only thing she knows is that she is finally free.*Go check out my new book* I'm not your possession Please and thank you
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