《The Avengers Compound》Keeping up with the Avengers
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Thor (walks into the living room): Metal arm man, what are you watching on the television box?
Bucky (quickly changes the channel): Nothing you would like.
Thor: I have nothing else to do, friend. Let us enjoy it together.
Bucky: No really, you don't want to watch it. It's boring.
Thor: As boring as listening to Banner and Strange educate the spider boy on quantum physics?
Bucky: Nothing is as boring as that. Join me in the world of the Kardashians.
Thor: Are they an evil force of villainous space creatures?
Bucky: Worse.
Thor: A Hydra bred group of mutant warriors?
Bucky: Worse. Think of your worst nightmare.
Thor (gulping): Frost giants armed to the teeth, with Rohan's people, fighting against the Dark Elves, who are sided with the Hydra Agents, all coming down to raid Earth and kill the rest of Asgard?
Bucky: Strange nightmare. Still, worse.
Thor (in shock): What could possibly be worse than that!?
Bucky: ...A family of billionaires.
Thor: *gasps*
Bucky (turns on the TV again): Are you ready?
Thor (nods): I can handle it.
A few episodes later, Peter walks in.
Peter: Oooh! Keeping up with the Kardashians, very classy.
Bucky: Shove off kid, leave us alone.
Thor (excitedly): Join us, spider boy! I am learning so much of the dramatically interesting lives of rich Midgardians!
Peter (sitting on the couch): Is this the one where Kendal throws her salad at Kim, or where Chloe and Kylie fight over the same dress?
Bucky: Kim pushed Kendal into the pool and Kendal is threatening to sue...wait. When have you watched this?
Peter (sheepishly): I may have been a fan since the beginning...
Thor: Another to join our endeavours, metal arm man!
Bucky: Fine kid, you can stay. But tell no one.
Peter: Thank you Mr Bucky sir!
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After another few episodes, Tony walks in.
Tony: What is going on in here?
Bucky (jumping up and covering the screen): Nothing at all.
Peter: Nope, nothing exciting at all Mr Stark.
Tony: Don't lie to me kid.
Peter (whispering): Sorry sir I just don't wanna get punched by Mr Bucky's wickedly awesome metal arm.
Tony: Thor, what's happening.
Peter and Bucky: *Shaking their heads vigorously*
Thor: We are watching this intriguing program called-
Peter: *shoots a web across Thor's mouth* No! Don't say it!
Thor (grunting and groaning, trying to talk): *Starts walking towards Peter, fist raised*
Bucky (runs and lifts Peter above the ground, out of Thor's reach, climbing onto a cupboard): Don't hurt him Thor!
Peter (dangling from Bucky's arm): I'm so sorry Mr Thor I hope I didn't hurt you please don't kill me! I'll give you all my pop tarts!
Bucky (kicking at Thor's arms): Get back you oaf! He's a baby don't hurt him!
Thor: *Yelling through the web, trying to grab Bucky's leg*
Peter: Yes! Don't hurt me – wait, I'm not a baby!
Peter: *Crosses his arms and pouts, looking like a baby*
Bucky: A little help, Tony!
Tony: Nah, I wanna see where this is going.
Thor: *Jumps up and grabs Peter's legs, pulls, dragging Bucky off the cupboard*
Bucky: LET GO THOR! You're gonna kill him, he doesn't stretch!
Bucky and Thor: *Bucky holding Peter's arms, Thor holding Peter's feet, both pulling*
Thor: *Yells something that can only be assumed to mean 'no, you let go!'*
Peter: A LITTLE HELP!
Steve runs into the room.
Steve: What on Earth is going on in here?
Tony: They wouldn't tell me what show they're watching, Peter webbed Thor's mouth, Thor wants to kill Peter, Bucky and Thor are having a tug-of-war with Peter.
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Steve: Why aren't you helping?
Tony: Why aren't you?
Steve: *Rolls his eyes and runs over to the fighting trio*
Steve: *Kicks Thor and Bucky in the stomach, and grabs Peter, holding him over his head*
Steve: Can you please stop tormenting Queens?
Thor (finally getting the web off his mouth): The spider boy shot a web over my mouth, and I must get revenge!
Thor and Bucky: *Thor starts running towards Steve, but Bucky jumps on him*
Bucky: Would you stop for a minute? Let the kid apologise.
Peter (above Steve's head): I'm so sorry Mr Thor I just didn't want you to tell Mr Stark we were watching Keeping up with the Kardashians!
Peter (whacks a hand over his mouth): OhmygoshIdidn'tmeantosaythatI'msosorryMrbuckysirandMrThorohnoI'vemessedupdon'tkillme
Bucky (groaning): Seriously kid? After I saved your life?
Tony (laughing): Keeping up with the Kardashians? Really? This is too funny!
Peter (verging on tears): Please don't laugh Mr Stark I didn't mean to say it.
Tony: I'm not laughing at you Pete, I know you watch it. Its macho ex-assassin Bucky I find hilarious.
Bucky (growling): Stark!
Tony: Who's your favourite? You seem like a Kylie kinda guy.
Bucky and Thor: *Bucky runs at Tony, but Thor intercepts, and throws him onto the couch*
Thor: Well, why don't we continue, and the man of iron can join us if he pleases. Come down spider boy and we will start again.
Steve and Peter: *Puts Peter down, and Peter runs over to the couch*
Peter: Are you gonna watch with us Mr Stark?
Tony (sighing): Why not. You coming, Cap?
Steve: *Shrugs*
Tony and Steve: *Goes and sit on the couch*
Everyone binges Keeping up with the Kardashians all day, and it soon becomes a ritual in the compound.
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