《where pilgrims are sinners, saints go to hell》13

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He couldn't have told how long he spent in his chambers this time, but he was sure she had slept at least twice since their excursion.

Now that the initial shock of seeing a vessel in such a... poor state had faded, he felt guilty about having ran off like that. His lady probably didn't appreciate being left behind again so soon after the last time.

He couldn't believe she was still there, in all honesty.

At least, his retreat had a cause this time, since he had spent all of it looking around in his workshop to find any and all research he had ever made on both Void and Soul. Although there was way more information about the latter than the former and he now knew that not everything he thought about Void was correct; the notes he had written about the Pure Vessel during their training (that hurt to read more than he would like to admit) along with what he remembered seeing in the Abyss before sealing it (which there were no written records of, but they weren't needed either) seemed to point to the same conclusion.

A rebirth was possible. Should be possible.

He walked down the stairs hastily, occasionally teleporting a few steps ahead so he could get to her as fast as possible. However, when he arrived at her garden, she wasn't there. He didn't see her in her room or in the library either.

Before he could panic and let his mind create the worst possible scenario, like he knew he would, he focused and accessed the minds of his Retainers, scattered around the palace. He quickly saw her in the kitchens, and after taking a moment to come back to his senses he took off towards the fly of stairs that would take him to it.

When he arrived, she had laid out every single spice in the (gigantic) kitchens on one of the tables and seemed to be taste testing one of them while taking notes in her journal. She must have noticed he came in, because she turned towards him and put her charcoal down.

"Hello, my King".

"My lady, uh... what are you doing?"

"Well, I'm not familiar with Hallownest's cuisine, so I guess I'm just experimenting. I got bored".

He cringed internally. Maybe it had been longer than he thought.

"That's understandable. I apologize for leaving you alone for so long, but I needed time to organize my thoughts, and... I have something to tell you".

She widened her eyes in surprise and then in worry.

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"...okay".

"Perhaps this is not the appropriate place for it. Would you accompany me upstairs, please?"

"Of course, my King".

They walked back upstairs in silence, and he frantically thought about how to tell her such a thing. Would she be alarmed? There were a lot of vessels, he might harm himself in the process if he wasn't careful. Not to mention the possibility of the Void attacking him... perhaps he had been too hasty with this. Perhaps such a plan should be conceived in more than a couple of days...?

Too late to back out now. They were already in the garden, with her sitting down in the small desk (why did she favor it and not the bench?) and looking at him expectantly.

He took a shaky breath and hoped for the best.

"...I believe I can revive them".

"...what? Who?"

"I've- these past days I've been studying my old notes on the vessels, and- they can't die unless they- well, they can't stay dead unless they choose to, so..." this was harder to convey than he had anticipated. It probably didn't help how nervous he was, though.

"My King, what are you saying?"

"I- it should be possible to... give their shades the opportunity to go back into their masks. They- they might not know how to do it on their own, they were very... very young..."

"Is this...?"

"...but I think I could help them find their way back to their bodies- their masks. And they could- maybe they could... live".

She was quiet for a while, looking intensely at him. He didn't find anything else to say, and he didn't think he could anyway, so he let her think in silence. Finally, she spoke.

"Are you sure it will work?"

He looked to the side, and his gaze softened slightly. "No. But I have to try regardless. I owe that to them, at the very least".

She took a moment to reply, but when she did he could hear a smile in her voice.

"...okay. And what do you need for it?"

He turned to look at her and was slightly surprised to see her smiling excitedly, looking almost eager. He wasn't sure how to take this, but he couldn't help a small smile of his own.

"Do you like the idea, my lady?" She let out a laugh, and he could have sworn her eyes sparkled.

"Of course! How could I not like it? Imagine that, several thousand children running around the kingdom! They would certainly breathe some life into it. And..." her face grew red and she started fiddling with the hem of her dress, "I'm also... excited to meet them".

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The King felt a warmth grow in his chest that he couldn't remember ever feeling before. He couldn't help a small laugh from escaping him, just as he couldn't help walking up to her and wrapping his arms around her waist, while she cupped his face and pressed their foreheads together.

What... was this feeling? Excitement? He felt so much... love, right now. He should be able to recognize any sensation related to having children by now. Though he guessed neither of the situations before had been ideal. Never before had he had any reason to be excited about his children, and this new experience was... good. Very good, in fact. Or maybe not that much, given the circumstances, but he couldn't really tell in that moment. Something was making his happiness swell to the point where it threatened to burst out of him, and the way she was looking at him, as if he was the entire world, was nearly making him dizzy.

He genuinely couldn't believe he might still get to be a father. Of course his children would have the choice to not accept him, and with every reason to. But he was happy they would get the chance to live that he denied them so long ago.

He wondered what they would do, as he kept staring at her. Their mother might--

...

...she wasn't their mother.

He felt himself deflate slightly. The direction his thoughts had taken must have shown somehow on his face, because she suddenly looked concerned.

"Is something wrong, my King?" she said softly.

"...I'm not their only parent". She only looked confused at this. He swallowed hard before asking, "Do you know if... if the White Lady is still alive, perhaps?"

Her eyes widened, but only for a second. She almost awkwardly let her hands down from his face, and, her expression now neutral, she spoke in a voice that betrayed nothing.

"Yes. She resides in her gardens, I believe".

He tried not to look disappointed when she leaned back, and let his own arms drop. It probably had been somewhat violent, to ask something like that so suddenly.

He stayed close, though. He didn't want her to get the wrong idea.

He wasn't sure how to feel about this news. Even if he no longer shared a union with her, he would never wish ill on who used to be his queen and the mother of his children. But...

But it did complicate things right now.

The White Lady, unlike him, never had an issue distancing herself from the Vessel, and never saw them as anything other than a weapon wearing her dead child's face.This was long ago, though. She... deserved the benefit of the doubt, at least. She deserved to know.

Even if they didn't tell her, she would still know immediately after they started. Her roots spread all across the kingdom and she didn't need her eyes to see, especially not those related to her.

...they had to tell her.

"She should know of this, at the very least".

"Of course". She looked to the side.

He could tell she was making an effort to keep her poker face up, probably so that he couldn't tell what she was feeling. But he had never been good at reading people, anyway. Well, in this case, he... was pretty sure he knew what was bothering her, at least somewhat. And he wanted to comfort her, but what would he say? They hadn't even... talked. Yet. About... them...?

...he hoped she would get the sentiment, even if expressed without words.

"So another excursion is in order".

"...yes. You should be quick when leaving the Basin, but you should be safe after that. The Void's influence doesn't really go beyond it".

He blinked.

"...you're not coming?"

"...do you want me to come?" she retorted, sounding equal parts surprised and skeptical. He was also shocked, though, and he couldn't find the words to properly convey what he wanted to.

"Of course, I... you're as much a part of this as I am- well, if you want to, of course- though you already said-- I mean... you thought I wouldn't want you to come?" he stammered, feeling his wings flare up. Where would he be going without her? He wouldn't be able to do this if he was alone.

She sounded only slightly sad. "Well, yeah, I guess. I... I have no business where you're going".

"...I would argue that you do, my Lady, but even if you didn't, you don't need to in order to be there. And if it's all the same to you, I would like you to come".

"...okay, then".

They looked at each other for a moment, and he offered her his hand to help her down from the desk. After she jumped down, though, she didn't let go.

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