There is not only physical violence. There is also the psychological one. Often it is areal mental manipulation that involves people who, in a particular moment of their life, take on the role of victims and are unable to react to their attackers. But there are ways to recognize this type of violence.

And also, those to get rid of it permanently.

Mental manipulation is a modality, used in a subtle and sometimes even unconscious way, of inducing others to perform actions or say things other than their own will.

The individual who uses this type of psychological violence (because this is what it is), aims to satisfy his own needs also at the expense of others.

Barbel Mechler, who has been dealing with victims of psychological manipulation for over 10 years, explains in her book "Surrounded by Psychopaths", that these people actually adopt predictable patterns of behavior.

And once they understand these mechanisms, they can be used against them to get rid of them permanently.

Manipulating a person is an action that can be carried out even unconsciously.

An example is the case of those people who, without realizing it, push others to take some actions.

For example, a mother who wants to be helped by her son in household chores could, if an explicit request did not work, implement a sort of emotional blackmail. That is,it could send passive-aggressive messages, such as: "If you really loved me, you wouldn't do that".

Such sentences may seem harmless but, in reality, they can trigger a sense of guilt in the other person that will push them to satisfy the request made.

Those who use these techniques of mental manipulation, even if they are not fully aware of it, want to obtain a position of power in a relationship. As the example described clearly demonstrates, emotional blackmail of this kind has happened to everyone, at least sometimes.

And all of us have been manipulated at times and other times manipulators ourselves.

On the other hand, the actual mind control that some unbalanced individuals can voluntarily exercise on others, taking advantage of it and enjoying the situation created is quite another matter.

For some individuals, manipulating people is a practice so inherent in one's being that it is even part of the personality structure.

These are individuals with psychopathic connotations, not in the psychiatric sense of the term, but with antisocial predispositions and characterized by a marked narcissism.

The basic characteristic of people who act in this way is the belief that everything is due to them.

These individuals start from the assumption of "deserving" that others make all the sacrifices possible for them, and an incredible thing to think for those who are not part of the category, without even expressing thanks in return.

They do not feel empathetic and often have a contradictory moral sense and do not understand or share the most common social rules.

Usually, the victims of these people are precisely the most naive and confident, who are easily excited and who, therefore, will tend to notice too late that they have been "used"in an opportunistic way.But what are the ways they use to manipulate people?

The mental manipulator, in his perverse game, usually proceeds by following certain stages.

1. Calibration.

Initially, the person who wants to take control over the other, begins to study gestures, movements, positions, mimicry of his victim.

2. Mirroring.

Later, try to reproduce the observed movements and body patterns. In fact, it is proven that: taking the same position and the same tone of voice of the person we are talking to creates a relationship of "symmetry" with our interlocutor.

This way of acting immediately establishes in the other person a feeling of "equality"which leads to trusting those in front of you because you perceive it as similar to yourself.

3. Tracing.

Those who "control", at this point, will begin to propose new interactions and new modalities on the basis of what was previously noted. He will then be able to insert gestures "similar" to those observed which, however, can lead him where he wants to go.

To be sure to create a sort of "engagement" in who is listening to him at that moment and to be sure of being followed, often, the manipulator first shows his trust.

Normally, he uses phrases that express positive feelings towards those in front of him and that invite him to feel safe and to let go.

It is as if he said: "If I trust you, you can trust me". The feeling of reciprocity is thus triggered, and the relationship is established.

4. Relationship.

In a short time, in this way, a relaxed and relaxed atmosphere is reached where there is complicity. Through jokes, signs and friendly words, the manipulator ensures the total trust of the person in front of him.

At this point, he will be able to make his requests.One way often used to get to this final stage is to attest one's trust to the victim by asking him to perform a particular action that requires maximum reliability.

For example, a shopkeeper who wants to sell something precious, could ask the customer to keep the precious object in custody for a moment, or to try to use it, proving that he has no doubts or hesitations towards that person who, immediately after, feeling that confidence about himself, he will give it just as easily.

Control the mind: is it really possible?

The issue is controversial. It is certainly possible that some individuals with weak personalities, and inclined to depend psychologically on others, and to delegate their lives to people who decide for them, easily fall to the mercy of more or less positive charismatic leaders.

Often the victims want at all costs to belong to a group without which they cannot feel "adequate" and, in order to do this, adhere to ideas and actions that they do not fully approve of.

Leaders who manage to plagiarize a person in this way are often legitimized by the group itself, and it is not easy for those who find themselves in such a situation to get out of it without the help of someone.

But there are ways to defend yourself from mental manipulation or even prevent situations like plagiarism.

1. Keep in mind the methods of emulation.

Remember the mirroring techniques and ways to gain the trust of the people described above. If you practice noticing these patterns of behavior in other people, you will gradually be able to "watch your back" not only from real manipulators but also from fake and mean people.

2. Listen to yourself.

Your body always sends signals. The intestine is our second brain, the nerve cells found in it make it particularly sensitive to the different situations and emotions we experience.

So, if you "feel" something is wrong, don't "liquidate" your emotion by pretending it never existed. Pay attention instead and you will find that it really has something to say to you. If you feel manipulated or the person in front of you does not seem "clear", move away immediately. Then you will think about analyzing the situation.

3. Become more aware of your thoughts and mental mechanisms.

Do you know that you can learn to see your thoughts for what they are and not take them for pure reality to believe blindly? The best way to "train yourself to observe them" is meditation.

Start like this:

❖ In the morning, as soon as you wake up, instead of catapulting yourself out of bed or dozing off a little longer, take 5 minutes.

❖ Sit in a comfortable position, even in a chair it's fine.

❖ Set a timer so you don't risk checking the time all the time to know how much has passed.

❖ Start focusing on your breathing. Feel the cold air entering from the nostrils and the warm air coming out.

❖ Whenever a thought comes, watch it rise and then disappear from your mind, like a cloud in the sky.

❖ At the end of the 5 minutes, take the time to "go back to normal life",get up slowly, slowly move the ends of the body and enjoy the feeling of having reconnected with yourself.

Find out how 10 minutes in the morning can improve your day

Gradually, thanks to this exercise, you will realize more and more that your thoughts tend to be always the same and that you have mechanisms that "direct" you from one side rather than another.

Knowing yourself better and better, you will understand how you feel and what you feel not only while you meditate but also in many other circumstances of life, in front of different people. Meditation moments will be your "gym" for life.

1. Learn to see things from another perspective.

Whether you find yourself immersed in the manipulation situation at that moment,or that you "relive" it in your subsequent memories, try to imagine that someone else will come to see the scene. A stranger suddenly appears and watches what is going on. What could he see?

You will almost certainly notice further details which you had not thought of, and which will give you useful information on how you were behaving at the time to "get manipulated", and how your interlocutor was behaving.

2. Accept to be wrong.

You are not perfect, just like all other humans. If you happen to be manipulated,don't condemn yourself. It is the worst thing you can do, and it could lead you straight to anew manipulation. Instead, do not judge yourself negatively, accept what has happened and try to learn from it. Manipulation, especially in a mild form, is a phenomenon in which each of us can run into life or, without realizing it, can use against another person. So, if this happens, get up and continue with your head held high. It is not serious, and above all, it can happen.

Particular attention deserves the mental manipulation that is exercised by some types of men towards women. In addition to it, of course, there is also physical violence which, however, deserves a separate book.

Psychological mental manipulation can actually cause as much (if not more)physical harm in some particular conditions. But how to recognize psychological violence against women?

Psychological violence against women manifests itself with various signs, at first almost insignificant and then, gradually, more and more present in the couple's life.