DAY ONE : SMILE FOR YEON

you can carry me out as well

with those words echoing in her mind, jiho's eyes snapped open.

today's day one of fourteen

finding herself on her bed, she realized the painful truth. sighing and immediately feeling the heaviness in her heart, she mustered up all her energy to sit up.

put on your best smile and pull yourself together.

be strong and hold it in.

for jinyeon, you have to be strong, jiho.

for yeon, this is for your precious son.

shakily breathing, jiho's eyes trailed on the other side of the queen sized bed — there, jeongguk laid with his back on the mattress as his mouth was slightly open, sleeping peacefully. seeing him early in the morning made the knots in her heart tighten.

why, why must you hurt me?

eyes tearing up, she had wanted to be happy considering that they spent the night together, but, seeing the large pillow that sat between them, she couldn't help but let out a shaky sigh.

if her heart could be seen, it would have been torn and is in pieces right now.

i love you.

you're the only man i've given myself to and yet, why?

hand unconsciously reaching out to touch jeongguk's face, she had wanted to feel his skin against hers even for just a second but—

why did you hurt me?

—but before she could let her finger trace his cheek, she pulled away as she remembered his tearing words.

"i'm inlove with someone else, now"

choking on her feelings, tears treacherously slipped on her eyes as a sob escaped. finding a way to run, she made her way to the bathroom and cleaned herself, muffling her painful cries to the shower's noise.

"you can take a bath"

slipping out of the bathroom clothed with her working attire — a white long blouse and red pencil skirt, those were the first words she said as she noticed jeongguk sitting on the edge of the bed.

"erm . . . yes"

the man had replied awkwardly, she made her way to the vanity mirror while making sure to not meet jeongguk's eyes.

smile, smile for your baby.

jiho kept replaying the words like a mantra, as she fixed herself, trying to look normal and presentable to their little kid.

"put on your best smile"

once jeongguk was settled and already well-dressed for work, jiho paved her way towards the door and turned the knob of their bedroom, slightly leaving the door ajar. it was time, it was already their cue to act.

endure it and don't let him see you weak

yeon needs you, he needs this.

all for yeon, this is for yeon, jiho.

all for your baby, you must endure it.

"oh, um—yes,"

jeongguk muttered before striding closer to the frail woman. body moving and arms touching jiho's skin, he had carefuly lifted her, finding it unbearably easy. jiho had her arms wrapped at the back of jeongguk's shoulder and it both made them stiff.

awkwardness enveloping the two, it has been so long since they were this close. how long has it been since they've touched?

"smile for yeon"

jiho murmured under her breathe once jeongguk had her body in her arms. lump slowly starting to form on jiho's throat, she tried her best to pull herself together.

you can't breakdown.

"y—yes,"

jiho could smell the masculine scent of jeongguk, oh was it sweet and it made tears on the brim of breaking free. how did they even become this distanced against one another? how did they end up this way?

if this was the usual day and she had not known about her husband's other woman, she could've been the happiest wife in the world.

but in reality, life is bullshit and jiho clearly knew that as bright as the sun.

"mama—oh my holy—papa, you're carrying mama??"

jinyeon chirped, stars immediately flickering on his eyes as he saw how close his parents were. the boy who was waiting beside the living room skipped towards them as he smiled brightly, clearly overjoyed of seeing the two together.

"papa, you're carrying mama like a queen!"

"yes, papa did carry me. isn't it fun?"

jiho answered before jeongguk slowly placed her down once they were beside the door.

"it is!"

yeon beamed before hugging his mama's legs, the boy smiled looking up at the two. "papa is like a king who carried her beautiful queen! i'm so happy, mama! papa, would you hug me? i really missed you for five days"

jiho didn't miss the way jeongguk stiffened at the words his son spoke but in a blink of an eye, the man held a fake smile too.

"yes, baby. papa would love to and i missed you too, so much"

sure he did.

because honey, we're only acting this way for you.

we want you happy, even if i feel like i'm dying inside—

"you were so great papa!"

—I'd do anything to keep that beautiful smile.

"i love you papa! i want to grow up just like you!"

no, no, no, i hope you don't baby.

jeongguk smiled, carrying the child against his arms.

i don't want you to grow up mercilessly hurting other people's feelings —

"papa is honored to hear that, baby"

—as if they're only a piece of toy.