A/N: Not you guys making Cloud 69 #1 in Fiction. I don't even know what to say, thank you!

Also: Maddie, Luna, Carson, Dylan, Jason, and Zach are all 17 and they are all Juniors. 

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I know this isn't right.

I know that two people who have– or had– an unspoken frenemies with benefits thing , don't have... separation problems. They don't struggle to stay away from each other, or have an inner-conflict about why exactly they can't stay away from each other.

But here we are.

Both awake and completely aware of each other's presence, yet saying nothing about.

He didn't move. I didn't move. We just laid there completely still, in the same position we've been all night long, waiting for the other to say something first.

It wasn't necessarily that I didn't know what to say. Hell, there's probably a whole list of things I should or could say. I just didn't want to be the one to speak first. 

I knew he was waiting for me; I mean, I was the one who came in, uninvited, last night. But I wasn't ready to speak first. I didn't want to talk or have a conversation.

So instead, my fight or flight response kicked in, and I took the easy road. I pulled away from him silently. He could've let me go, too. He could've made this easy, but he had to be stubborn about it all. 

"No," He said, voice still hoarse. He had grabbed my wrist, and was holding it too tightly for me to pull away. "Wait."

I stared out his window, not really knowing what to do now. I couldn't pull away from him; he was doing everything in his power to keep that from happening. 

I turned to look him in the eye for the first time all morning, really, for the first time in over two weeks.

"Five minutes," he said.

"Huh?"

"You can go back to pretending I don't exist and everything is nothing, but please, just give me five more minutes."

His pupils were big, and the straight line of his lips curled downwards at the corners. His grip around my wrist got tighter, and he was pulling me closer in a much more obvious way.

I know this isn't right. I know two people with a former frenemies with benefits situation wouldn't give in to this. They wouldn't need extra time laying half-naked together in a non-sexual way. 

Yet, here the fuck we are.

I laid back down, letting his arms immediately, almost out of habit, engulf me in a warm hold. One of those tight hugs that makes you just want to lay here forever and never sleep alone again.

"Fine," I said. "Ten minutes and that's it."

I may be stubborn at all costs, but I'm not stupid.

"Ten?" He questioned. "I only asked for five."

I don't need another moment of temporary weakness before I stop denying it.

"Yeah, but I want five, too," I replied. "So, we get ten. Deal with it."

If he's in the same room, I can't help but stare at him.

 I feel sick when he's not around. 

That's not normal. Right?

.

There's something wrong with me. 

* * *

We stopped as we reached the boardwalk. We had been running for about an hour, and trust me, it was not my idea.

We hadn't said so much as a word to each other all morning. This, of course, left me to my own thoughts, all of which were about Carson fucking Daniels.

Carson fucking Daniels. What I would do to get Carson fucking Daniels out of my thoughts forever.

"What's with the frown?" Luna asked between pants.

"Nothing, I'm just tired. What about you? You're not smiling either."

She shrugged, "I don't know. I guess I thought that by now, something would have changed between Zach and I."

I nodded, "Maybe it's for the best. You haven't been on your own in a while, it could be good for you to focus on yourself for a change."

She groaned, "God, you sound like my mother."

I laughed, "I'm serious."

"I know, that's the worst part," She said. "I like listening to your advice, which means my mother may have been right for once."

I laughed, "I'm sure she's been right more than once. You just never listen."

Luna rolled her eyes, "Anyways, back to you. You've been on your own for way too long."

I shrugged, "I like it that way."

"Obviously not that much if you resorted to Carson of all people," She sassed.

On the inside, I winced at a sharp, stabbing pain. And once again, the thoughts of Carson had flooded through my head. Damn, that was a solid three minutes without him bouncing around in my brain.

I groaned, "Will you drop that?"

"What?" She asked.

"The little remarks about Carson."

"I'm just joking around, Mads."

"Then you can stop. If they're just jokes, you can stop."

She rolled her eyes and looked away, "I just mean... well, it's Carson."

"What does that even mean?"

"Come on, Maddie. You can't seriously stand by your choice to sleep with Carson."

"And if I do?"

She turned to look at me, the smile dropping from her face. 

"You're serious?" She asked. 

"You know what, yeah. I am."

Luna shook her head and rolled her eyes, "Now you're just being stubborn. I'm trying to help you!"

"I don't need your help! I am doing perfectly fine, thank you."

"Well, maybe you think that, but you obviously have questionable judgement if you were sleeping with Carson."

"Or maybe, just maybe, you can't stand to see me happy when you're not," I shouted back at her. "You have been miserable since you and Zach broke up, and you want everyone else to be miserable, too!"

"God, Maddie, are you kidding me?" She exclaimed. "Yes, I'm upset. Getting dumped fucking sucks, but do you seriously think I'm such a self-absorbed ass that I would do everything in my power to make you feel as awful as I do?"

"That's kind of exactly what you've been doing."

"Well I haven't meant to! I'm not the shit friend you think I am."

"You literally forced me to stop seeing Carson because it's what you wanted me to do."

"Maddie, I didn't want you to stop sleeping with him because I thought you were happy. You were never the issue. It's Carson."

"What's wrong with him?! Why can't it be him."

"Because it's Carson, and your Maddie! You guys fight and you scream and you make awful comments about each other. And he's the only person who's ever said something horrible enough to make you cry."

I rolled my eyes, "That was in like eighth grade."

"It still happened, Maddie," She said, carefully. "I know I haven't exactly been doing a great job being your best friend, but still, what kind of friend would I be to stand by and allow someone who's made you cry once, make you cry again?"

I shook my head, "That still doesn't give you the right to tell me what to do."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I didn't think. I just didn't know what else to do."

"Why did you have to do anything? What was so wrong with-"

"What's so wrong with the same thing you always do?" She cut me off.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She sighed, "Nothing, never mind. I don't want you to get mad at me again."

"Too late. Now explain."

Luna shrugged, "Maddie, you always complain about how Jason sleeps with guys he sees no future with so he doesn't have to face his trust issues, but you do the same thing. You run away from love because you're so scared it might actually catch you."

I shook my head, "That's not true."

She shrugged, giving up.

"Luna, that's not true."

"Okay, it's not true."

"You don't sound like you mean it."

She threw her head back, "Madeline, you were sleeping with a guy you've been cussing out since middle school. Before that, you were with a guy who leaves for college in less than six months. And before him, you spent half your summer flirting with a girl who doesn't even live in this country."

"So?"

Luna's patience was wearing thin now, I could tell. "So? Can't you see? You pick people who are bound to leave anyways because you're afraid of someone actually being permanent in your life. You throw out every opportunity because you're so scared of not being alone."

I shrugged, "I'm not alone. I'll always have you. And Dylan."

She smiled, "Of course you will. But I want you to, you know, have no regrets or whatever. It's not like you have slim pickings."

* * *

I sighed as I flopped down on my bed.

I picked up my phone and looked at it. I rolled my eyes and set it down again.

Not a minute later, I groaned and picked it up again.

Hey - M

...

...

...

Hey! What's up? - G

Not much... can we meet up? - M