《Counting To Fifteen [Grey's Anatomy]》chapter twenty six - family portraits & familiar faces
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and Calypso were both free of the flu the following week.
Naomi, however, was not. The nanny had definitely picked up the cold from watching the girls, something that both Daisy and Calypso felt guilty about.
Naomi being out with the flu meant that nobody was available to watch the girls, and Mark was forced to bring them to the hospital that dreary Saturday.
It wasn't anything odd for Daisy, considering she usually went to the hospital on Saturdays to meet with Dr. Sen.
But Calypso found it so strange. She had sort of thought going to the hospital with Mark meant that she'd see all sorts of cool things and cool people, doctors running around and yelling and racing against time. She thought it'd be like some sort of action movie.
Calypso was very disappointed to find out that being at the hospital with Mark meant that she had to stay in the hospital's daycare all day. She felt like a baby, and that embarrassed her. She wasn't a baby, she was six. She was practically a grown-up.
To make matters even worse, Daisy wouldn't be with her for a while because she'd be in psychiatry, so Calypso would be all by herself with a whole lot of other loud kids.
"Can we hurry today up?" Daisy asked, glancing up nervously at the clock. "My sister is in daycare by herself, and...and she doesn't like being by herself."
"She'll be okay." Dr. Sen reassured. "Our daycare staff is excellent."
Daisy frowned at that, looking back up at the clock. She hadn't been in the room for very long, she still had a little ways to go until the session was over.
Daisy just hoped that Calypso was okay. She knew her little sister didn't like being away from her, and Daisy truthfully didn't like being away from Calypso either. She would keep the younger girl glued to her side if she could.
The girl let her eyes wander away from the clock, focusing instead on the small station Dr. Sen had set up on the table in front of her.
There were quite a few pieces of blank sheet paper sprawled out as well as a large box of crayons. Something that made Daisy particularly satisfied was the fact that the crayons were brand new, the wax gleaming flawlessly. They were arranged by color in the box, and the assembly line of perfect gradients made Daisy want to smile.
The bright hues drew Daisy, and she badly wanted to reach out and begin to color on a piece of the perfect white paper.
But that felt far too elementary. Daisy would be embarrassed if she merely sat for her entire psychiatry session and colored a picture.
"Would you like to color?"
Daisy looked up at Dr. Sen, the man obviously having taken note of her interest in the crayons.
Daisy only shook her head, something that made Dr. Sen frown. "Why not?"
"Coloring is for kids." Daisy stated the obvious. "I'm not a kid."
Daisy wished she was a kid, though. She ached to regress back years ago, to reconnect with her inner child and color a picture. Maybe draw a yellow sun with a smiley face just for the heck of it.
Daisy knew she wasn't an adult, but she definitely wasn't a kid. Calypso was a kid, and Daisy takes care of her. A child couldn't take care of a child, so by that logic Daisy thought of herself as a grown-up...despite only being thirteen.
"Coloring is for everybody." Dr. Sen spoke confidently. As if to prove his point, he reached for a piece of the blank paper, plucking a few of the crayons to use for his drawing.
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Dr. Sen's actions encouraged Daisy, and she hesitantly reached for a blank piece of paper too, trying to decide which color crayon to begin with.
She didn't know what exactly to draw, though.
The various shades of pink were looking nice, hues of magenta and rose and coral all sticking out so blindingly. Daisy was tempted to collect the group of pinks and draw her sister a flamingo.
But the blues were also incredibly beautiful. The cyan, the turquoise. Daisy could imagine drawing the vast Pacific Ocean that her state of Washington bordered.
Daisy was particularly drawn to the yellows. Yellow had always been Daisy's favorite color, it made her feel happy. Maybe she could draw a golden sun, a big sunflower in a field of hundreds.
All this imagination led to positively zero action. Daisy merely sat staring at her paper, and she had no doubt she looked foolish.
"Most patients that draw for me usually draw their families." Dr. Sen provided Daisy with a prompt as he shrugged. "Do you think maybe you could draw your family for me?"
That felt very elementary to Daisy.
But she nodded nonetheless, happy to have some sort of challenge to abide by. Daisy plucked a chestnut crayon and a golden-brown crayon in order to get her and her little sister's hair just right.
Daisy liked to color, it majorly relieved her stress.
She wished she could just color in silence, though. Dr. Sen being pushy with his questions unraveled Daisy's sense of relaxation.
"Has school been okay for you since you've returned from Winter Break?"
Daisy only shrugged, not looking up as she let her crayon glide across the paper. "I haven't gone back yet. Caly and I were out with the flu all week."
"Are you nervous about going back and seeing everybody?"
"Not really."
Dr. Sen nodded, taking in the information he was receiving as he watched the thirteen-year-old focus intensely on her drawing. "Have you made any new friends at school yet?"
"No."
Daisy spoke in such an unbothered manner, as if having no friends was something she had grown used to.
"So...you don't have any friends that you could talk to?"
"Calypso is my friend." Daisy shrugged.
"Yes, but...she's your sister. And she's what...six, seven years younger than you? Don't you think it would be nice to be able to interact with people of your own age group who aren't biologically tethered to you?"
"Calypso is my friend." Daisy spoke a bit more insistently this time. "We tell each other everything, she's my best friend. It's always been the two of us, I really don't need anyone else."
Dr. Sen frowned, deciding not to push anymore as he thumbed onto a different topic. "How is Calypso?"
"She's good." Daisy reported, a small grin coming through on her lips. "She was so whiny when we had the flu though, it was super annoying."
"Little sisters are especially good at being annoying." Dr. Sen mused, Daisy's grin widening. "Have you been able to talk with her? About what we talked about last week?"
The grin that Daisy had been sporting disappeared. "No."
"I think it's really important that you do."
Daisy knew that it was important too. If she didn't express her feelings, they would all bottle up and cause a cataclysmic breakdown.
But Daisy didn't really want to talk about her feelings. She especially didn't want to talk to Calypso about Mr. Walter, that topic tended to make both girls very anxious.
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Last week, Daisy had come to the conclusion that she was beginning to resent Calypso. Mr. Walter had always chosen to hit Daisy instead of Calypso, and that made Daisy resent the girl.
Daisy knew though that it wasn't at all Calypso's fault. It was all Mr. Walter's fault, and he was the one that Daisy resented. The feelings that had come rolling out last psychiatry session were aimed at the wrong person. Mr. Walter deserved every ounce of Daisy's hatred, and Calypso deserved nothing but happiness.
"I'm okay now. I don't feel that way anymore." Daisy assured her psychiatrist.
Dr. Sen wasn't quite sure about that, though. Daisy had been very passionate about her feelings, about the fact that Calypso had never been hurt by Mr. Walter in the way that she had. It was clear that the girl had some sort of pent up anger towards her sister.
Before Dr. Sen really even had the chance to speak, though, Daisy spoke up again.
"I'm done." She announced, placing her crayon down beside her drawing.
"May I?" Dr. Sen asked with an outstretched hand, Daisy nodding as she reached and handed her masterpiece over to her psychiatrist.
Dr. Sen immediately took note of the vast blankness on Daisy's paper. She had hardly drawn anything, only two small figures centered in the middle of the paper.
"Is this...?"
"Calypso and I." Daisy confirmed as if she knew what Dr. Sen was asking, a small smile on her lips as she looked at the portrait of her and her little sister. "I'm in the yellow dress, and Calypso is in the pink one. Calypso likes wearing pink, it makes her feel like a princess."
Dr. Sen nodded, looking down at the two stick-figure style sisters holding hands. "What about Mark?"
"What about him?"
"You didn't draw Mark in your picture."
"Of course not. You told me to draw my family." Daisy was confused, not understanding the point that Dr. Sen was getting at.
"And...you don't consider Mark your-"
"No." Daisy shook her head. "He's a foster parent. I wouldn't draw the Walters in a family portrait, or Megan and Phillip, or...or Mrs. Price. They're all just foster parents. Foster parents are really just legal babysitters. Why would you draw your babysitter in a family portrait?"
Dr. Sen supposed he could see the point that Daisy was trying to make. But the lack of family members in Daisy's portrait was unsettling.
"What about your mom and dad?"
"They're dead." Daisy spoke as if that explained why they wouldn't be in her portrait.
Dr. Sen had many many patients. He had many pediatric patients he had seen throughout his career in psychiatry, too. The family portrait activity was one he made his pediatric patients do regularly.
There were a handful of patients that had lost a mom or a dad or even both like Daisy had. But they still found ways to incorporate their lost loved ones. They drew them when they were still alive, or a handful of patients sometimes drew little golden halos over their heads.
He had never had any patients just completely leave their deceased loved ones out of their pictures. That just felt so...cold.
"But...they'll always be your parents even if they're not physically with you. You really don't want to draw them in your picture?"
"Not really. It's just Calypso and I." Daisy spoke quietly in a tone that made Dr. Sen unsure if the girl was being firm in her convictions or just plain sad about the fact that it was just her and her sister left.
Dr. Sen wasn't quite sure what else to say. The silence that filled the room was gloomy, and Daisy found herself gazing up at the clock on the wall.
"Can I go see Calypso now?"
Dr. Sen gave Daisy permission to leave as he gave a few of his thoughts for her to think on before she came back next week.
Daisy nodded to appease Dr. Sen, but she truly didn't have the motivation to do anything proactive. Dr. Sen expected far too much from Daisy in the girl's own opinion. She couldn't do everything.
Daisy was excited as she left Dr. Sen's office. She missed her little sister, and she was ready to see her, no matter how boring being stuck in a daycare for a couple hours would be.
The thirteen-year-old padded through the halls, scanning each face she passed and looking through the windows. It was a fun game that Daisy liked to play with herself. She knew so many of the staff members here, she loved trying to see who she could spot. Of course she could never actually go into the patient rooms, but that was okay. Daisy just liked giving any familiar faces a warm smile.
Daisy spotted Nurse Rosa hurriedly walking down the hall with a chart in hand, and Daisy gave the woman a smile.
Daisy spotted April by the vending machine as she walked past, April waving hello as Daisy gave the woman a smile.
Daisy spotted her favorite respiratory therapist Hannah as she peered through the window of a nearby patient room. The RT happened to be intubating a man, though. The entire medical team was huddled around the coding patient, and Daisy decided that the woman was a little too preoccupied to notice a smile.
Continuing to walk, Daisy found it so funny that she had grown so comfortable with hospital life. She actually liked the hospital and the people in it, and she figured being at a hospital so often wasn't a bad thing as long as she wasn't actually sick.
Daisy proceeded with her route to the daycare, thinking she was done spotting familiar faces.
But Daisy smiled as she saw Mark himself in one of those fishbowl conference rooms, windows covering every wall. Mark looked very preoccupied, so maybe that's why he didn't see Daisy.
That was an alright thing, though, because Daisy's smile quickly dropped.
Daisy had a severe peanut allergy. When she was five, she went to a birthday party for one of her Kindergarten classmates. A Reeses' ice cream cake seriously sounded like the yummiest creation on the planet to five-year-old Daisy. Mom and Dad of course didn't let Daisy have a piece, but the girl was able to convince Rebecca Blackmore to share her piece of cake when Mom and Dad were talking to other parents, and Daisy recalled that moment as one of the scariest of her life. The feeling of her throat closing up, hot tears stinging her cheeks as she tried to call out for Mommy and Daddy, but her pleas for help couldn't be heard.
Daisy wasn't sure how it was possible since there were no peanuts present to provoke a reaction, but she could've sworn she felt her throat closing up as she watched Mr. Walter sitting not even five feet away from Mark.
The two of them looked to be speaking as if they were friends, and that made Daisy nauseous. There were billions and billions of questions swirling through Daisy's head, billions and billions of emotions wanting to come out all at once.
Daisy was angry, and sad, and...and scared. Daisy was so scared.
Was Mark trying to put the girls in a position to get hurt again? Maybe...maybe he wasn't going to hurt the girls, so maybe he got Mr. Walter on board to do his dirty work. Maybe Mark called Mr. Walter here to hurt the girls. Was coming to the hospital today a set up?
Daisy panicked, and her fear propelled her to walk out of sight of the conference room.
The girl walked as briskly as possible down the halls. She would sprint to the daycare if she could, but she didn't want to alarm anybody. Daisy was paranoid now, and she wondered if other doctors were in on Mark's plan to harm the girls.
When Daisy reached the next floor and opened the door to the daycare, she could've sworn she almost burst into tears at the familiar sight of her sister.
Daisy crouched beside Calypso, wanting to tell her anything and everything, but the talkative six-year-old beat her to it.
"You're back! I made a friend." Calypso beamed, looking as happy as ever as she motioned to the small girl beside her. "Her name is Piper. Piper likes me. Right, Piper?"
Piper didn't answer, and that was on account of the fact that she couldn't have been more than a year old. Piper took more interest in chewing on a large toy block than she did listening to Calypso.
"We have to go." Daisy spoke urgently, something that made Calypso frown.
"Did Mark's shift end already?"
Mark had explained earlier that his hospital shift would take all day, that the girls wouldn't be leaving until it was dark outside.
Calypso took note of the fact that there was still a lot of sunlight streaming in through the windows. The girl knew that time flew by when having fun, but she hadn't been having that much fun. They couldn't have been there for longer than two or three hours.
"We have to go." Daisy emphasized her words as she spoke quietly. "Mark isn't coming. You and I need to go by ourselves."
Calypso frowned at that. "But...but why? I don't think we're supposed to leave without-"
"Mr. Walter is here." Daisy spoke hurriedly. "To hurt us. Mark brought him here, and...and..."
Daisy had seen this movie before. It was a scary movie, and she didn't want to watch it again.
Calypso was very confused. She found it hard to believe that Mr. Walter had found the girls, nor could she believe that Mr. Walter was in the very hospital that she was in.
But Daisy wasn't a liar, and Calypso knew that.
"But...how-"
Daisy didn't have time to answer questions. She could picture Mr. Walter on his way to the daycare right now, ready to make up for lost time.
The thirteen-year-old grabbed her little sister's hand, pulling her over towards the door. There was only one daycare worker in the room at the moment, and she was fully submerged with the task of changing a baby's diaper. Daisy took that as their golden opportunity to exit.
If the current situation wasn't so dire, Daisy most definitely would've giggled at Dr. Sen's previous words.
Our daycare staff is excellent!
Dr. Sen was most definitely eating his remarks.
Daisy walked as briskly as she could, pulling Calypso behind her. She wasn't sure why, but Calypso was reacting much differently than Daisy had expected.
Daisy thought Calypso would be sprinting out of the hospital at the mention of Mr. Walter. She thought Calypso would be as frantic as she was.
But Calypso seemed to almost be dragging her heels, walking as slowly as possible. Her speed could be compared to that of a sloth, and now was not the time to be walking at the speed of a sloth.
"Hurry up." Daisy groaned. "You're walking too slow."
"I don't think we should leave." Calypso mumbled, looking around nervously at her surroundings as she held onto her sister's hand. "We're gonna get in a lot of trouble, Dais. Maybe we should just wait for Mark in daycare like he asked."
"Maybe we should wait for Mr. Walter to come personally beat us up, too." Daisy snapped in such a tone that Calypso couldn't help but frown. She didn't like anxious Daisy. Anxious Daisy tended to lash out. Anxious Daisy was mean.
Daisy pushed open one of the double doors, letting the intensely frigid January air smack her in the face as she walked outside.
Daisy and Calypso walked hand-in-hand down the sidewalk, Daisy sparing nervous looks back at the hospital while Calypso spared longing looks back.
"I don't like this." Calypso frowned. "I wanna go back."
Daisy knew that Calypso was just in denial, though. Calypso hadn't seen Mr. Walter with her own eyes.
But Daisy had, and she knew what horrors were waiting inside that hospital for the girls.
"Where are we even going?"
"The apartment." Daisy answered plainly as the girls continued to trudge, putting more and more distance between themselves and the hospital. "Mark won't get off for a couple hours. We can go grab our things really quick, and I'll use the landline to call Octavia, and-"
"You're gonna call Octavia?" Calypso asked, stopping dead in her tracks. "You can't call Octavia, she'll take us away."
"That's kind of the point." Daisy nodded. "That's what we want."
"That's not what I want. I...I don't want to leave."
Daisy frowned, trying to pull her younger sister, but the girl wouldn't budge. The bright LED pedestrian was lit up on the sign across the street, signaling for anyone to safely walk across. "Come on, Calypso. We're gonna miss the signal, and then we're gonna have to wait, and...and we don't have time to wait."
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