Ya'll aren't going to believe me but I had a dream! In my dream there was this beautiful boy with a buzz cut and extremely beautiful bright aqua eyes. He had headphones in and we were in like this white bricked hallway that you see in tv shows for--I don't know--outside hang outs at schools in California or something you see on 90210. I kept trying to talk to him but he couldn't hear me because I am guessing of the earbuds. But when he opened his eyes it was also like I wasn't there? I woke up so disturbed yet my heart was beating really fast and throughout the day, I could not stop thinking about the dream and the boy! So, I put it to paper and tweaked a few things like the eyes because I really wanted Nate to be not a cliche even though the popular/nerd is sort of a cliche when it comes to love stories! I just wanted my characters and plot line to be different from anything anyone has ever read along with the feeling of it. I don't know if I achieved that but I knew what message I wanted to get across.

I don't know why I knew this question would be asked, but I did and I am so impressed with how it is worded! Honestly, I wanted people to not like Kelly right from the get go because that is how people saw Kelly "in real life." She made herself look like bitch because that was how she protected the image she believed she had to portray. I didn't want people to start liking her until the real her came out which was when she was around Nate. Of course I wanted Kelly to be liked because she is my main character but I wanted there to be MAJOR character development, which people commented on after their mean ones (lol) once the story progressed. Trust me, I knew she sounded terrible the first half of the book. I would reread what I wrote and be like "Yikes, you're a work in progress, honey. Get it together, girlfriend!" hahaha. She comes off as very bold when really she's actually very insecure and uses that as a cover up. I needed Kelly to be the poster child of honesty when it came to emotions and change. I wanted her to be really raw.

I think it was because I really loved the idea of For Your Eyes Only and I was very passionate about the message behind it that made me complete chapters. It was not quick and it was not easy! After looking back on the timeline, it took me over a year to write. I set goals! I tried sitting down and writing out one chapter a week which sometimes turned into two because I got inspired or broke a chapter up into multiple ones but there was some weeks I couldn't get myself to post. Writer's block is real even if you enjoy what you are writing! I am a perfectionist and sometimes I would write something out and absolutely hate where it was going or change my mind halfway through and have to start over again. I would even go to the extent of posting it and then taking the chapter down because it didn't feel right which I know made my reader confused and sometimes mad. I tried making it look as nonchalant as possible but I didn't always succeed! You guys have been real troopers in sticking with me through this story. I can also say, I have never actually finished or concluded a story until this one! I think that is obvious because a made a bunch of bonus chapters because I didn't want it to be over!

I wanted the story to stand out and be different from other wattpad stories or stories in general! Trust me, no one loves a bad boy like this girl, but, I don't know about you, but there is something so intriguing about a nice guy! There's that saying that nice guys finish last and I wanted to erase that. Too many people think if a significant other throws things or screams at you or puts a fist through a wall that that is what passion looks like, and that is not true. Someone that can talk things out without raising their voice or doing something irrational, that is a real man/woman, and those are the things that should be glorified. So many people feel unloved, boys and girls, and I wanted to make a story that underlines that just because you are not the most athletic person or the most outgoing or prettiest, doesn't mean there isn't something about you that someone isn't starry eyed about.

Oh my Gosh, sometimes I think some readers actually believe these characters are real people and what they are doing and feeling are real AND I LOVE IT. I read every single comment-- yes, every one-- and I enjoy seeing the way people react to some things because it makes the whole experience feel like I am getting to people and touching them in different way to make emotions stir. Yes, some comments make me rethink the way I made a character but I try to remember that I have a reason behind all things and if people don't like that, they do not have to read even though I am so happy they are. I just wish some people would not comment lol.

And I would like to add that I can say some comments that makes me sad to read, is when people make comments on how some part of your story remind them of a different story or how an idea isn't original. They always put the name of what story they are referring too and I have had to talk myself down from saying I have never read that book or I have never heard of that story or even better, my story was written before that one sooooo, many times! People have the right to make whatever comments they want but that doesn't mean those sort of comments don't clunk ya a little. I have learned that most comments unless that are positive and full of goodwill are not meant to be commented back. And that is something I would like to put out there. Only spread sunshine because everyone already has some darkness in them:)

Okay for one, I don't know if people have figured this out, but I posted this story and all my others that are currently in progress as anonymous!!! I haven't given anyone my real name. Kay is a nickname. It is not my real name. I am terrified of people I know finding this story and putting my face to the storyline hahaha. I am very proud of For Your Eyes Only, do not get me wrong, I love it with my whole heart and love seeing people loving it along with me, but writing for me, though liberating at best, makes me feel so so so vulnerable. People ask me for my instagram and just simply want to be my friend all the time. Which is an amazing feeling but I. Am. So. Scared. Lol. It's like once I put everything out there, there is no going back. It's the Nate in me! Haha.

And two, my tip is... Just do it. Even if you think people will hate what you write or you will not get any votes or read or comments, STILL DO IT. There will always be one person who will enjoy it. And who knows, maybe what you have to write about could change their look on a topic or spike an interest and then there is a chain reaction. SPREAD IMAGINATION.

And my last tip, do not take the reads and votes and comments and ranks to heart! If you enjoy writing, do not let social media ruin that for you. Everything takes time. I didn't even think For Your Eyes Only would get seen by one hundred people. Do it because it makes you feel proud of yourself and happy. That's all the matters in the end.

Awwww, the main question of the evening haha. No, I have not changed my mind. Yes, Nate's book will be put up! So many of you want it so it will be my gift to you guys because I appreciate you all so much. BUT HUNNIES IT IS A LOT HARDER THAN I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OMG. It is hard from going to being in a girl's head to being in a boys head when you don't understand how the male species work in the first place? But yes, his story will be posted and you will get a notification about it if you follow me *wink wink*. But what I will say is it is currently on the back burner, simmering, but there nonetheless, it is there. I am working on some new stuff and wish to finish those before I get too in over my head. BUT IT WILL GET POSTED OKAY. xoxo

I would publish this book in a heartbeat but I don't even know how!!!!! How do I find an editor? How do i trust people? How do I know they are the real deal? It has always been my dream of becoming an author where I can make a living off what I create. I have been writing since I was a dramatic kiddo who would annoy my parents and siblings with journals and short stories.

Im not quite sure how to answer this but I can say Forgiveness and Love is what I wanted to portray in the book! Some people foreshadowed that Nate or someone was going to die and I didn't really realize I put that vibe out when Kelly was talking about her Grandmother's afterlife theory. I just wanted it to be a cute scene hahaha.

Side note: I AM NOT TRYING TO GLORIFY CHEATING. I thought I made it clear that Kelly and Danny were even in a real relationship, that it was all for appearance, but maybe I didn't do a decent job at that. And am proud of the commenters with morals so kootos to you all! Danny is just a selfish participant in the "relationship" because he even starts to believe that it's real and Kelly's feelings don't matter as long as he is content with what them being together has to offer. He's just as scared as Kelly when it comes to his bright future being taken away from him but when the reason he is scared (Nate) is seen making Kelly happy, he loses it and makes more bad decisions.

I want to be a netflix movie. I want to be a netflix movie. I want to be a netflix movie. Hell, put me in theatres on the big screen with some buttered popcorn and a red carpet. Make me the next Nicholas Sparks! Thinkin' big here, okay. I see wattpad books being made for channels and for screens like The Kissing Booth, Death is my BFF, and After, seeing Anna Todd living this dream itself and it makes me want for so much. Wattpad gives so many opportunities and I am just waiting for mine if I am even deserving of it! You guys are my biggest dream. Okay, that was a Tangled reference which is on my tv right now but I hope you can feel my appreciation!