《For Your Eyes Only》4
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I get to Bio extra early the next day just so I can snag the seat next to the one that Nathaniel sat in yesterday. My friends try getting my attention a few times to come and sit in the back with them, but I shake them off and try my hardest to feel sincere.
When the sound of tapping comes into reach, I mentally prepare myself by straightening the pencil in alignment with my notebook and casually fold my hands across on desk.
"Good Morning, Nate," I say once he has sat down in the same spot he had yesterday. He jumps slightly in his seat but recovers quickly by murmuring good morning back.
"It's okay if I call you Nate, right? Nathaniel is such a mouthful." I did like the old sound of it.
He nods his head timidly, his cheeks lightly turning pink. He takes out his phone from his pocket of the dark gray hoodie he seems to like and presses the screen. He then takes out ear buds and lets them dangle around his neck.
I am just about to ask him what he is listening to when Mr. Faunt instructs us to start our labs.
Throughout the lab, I do all the identification of the microscope slides while Nate types up all the results. This works because my hand writing sucks and I find it extremely easy to tell the difference between prophase and anaphase. I feel like I am stuck in Twilight and Nate is the vampire who is afraid of touching me on accident or even breathe the same air as me.
"So that thing reads it back to you?" I ask out of nowhere after eyeing him for quite some time. I wasn't one who liked silence and that is what Nate was giving me. Silence. There was no talking unless I told him what phase was present on the slide.
"Yes." That is all he says.
"That's kind of cool."
Once again there is silence while he listens to his earbuds confirm his type job. I suddenly feel a deep pang of guilt hit me because it made it sound like I am saying that it is cool that he couldn't see the words. I bite back an apology because I don't want to make it seem worst incase he didn't hear it that way.
I twist the knobs this way and that to make the very last slide clear.
"So Nate," I say once I buck up the courage. "What do you plan on doing after graduation?"
The time seems to tick in my mind while I wait for him to answer me. He slowly put down his ipad and takes out his earbuds. He shifts nervously in his seat.
"I want to work for NASA."
This catches me off guard. I knew he was into that stuff because he was part of the chemistry and astronomy club before the accident but I would have thought that would have changed his mind after losing his eyesight because of a rocket.
"Wow," I manage to choke out.
A small smile turns up on one side of his mouth. "Yeah. I like stars."
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My lips turn up too at that because it is a nice thought that we might have something in common. A giddiness climbs up my throat and spreads throughout my body. I rock up on my feet and balance myself on the lab table.
"Me too!" I quickly shrink back when Nathaniel jolts in his seat. I fix the volume of my voice and continue. "My dad used to take me out to the country during the summer when I was little. He had this little white pickup that he's had since he was sixteen and he would lay out blankets in the back and he would bring chocolate chip cookies that my mom had baked. Every time he brought me out there he would promise that we would see a shooting star." The memory suddenly makes me sad. "I never saw one. But I liked going nonetheless."
Forgetting that he can't see me, I subconsciously shake my hair in front of my face. It's always embarrassing opening up to someone that isn't necessarily keen on opening up to you.
"My parents have this lake house that we go up to every summer." Nate's voice is steady for once as if he is living a memory. His deep tone calms my shaken nerves. "We have a dock that goes right into the lake and when you lay back on it, it's like you can see the entire sky. I can't even count how many shooting stars I've seen on that dock."
"That sounds amazing."
His eyes are so golden, it is almost unnatural.
Those golden eyes suddenly widen and dart back down to the floor. "Y-yeah. It w-was."
Nate pops in one of his earbuds again and I get the feeling that maybe he has turned some music on. Cultural sign for he doesn't want to talk anymore.
I busy myself with arranging the slides in alphabetical order rather than think about how uncomfortable he is around me. Things were going fine until he realized he was sharing a part of himself.
"W-what about you?"
My smile returns. This is such an ordinary question, one that I am asked frequently but it feels different coming from Nathaniel.
"I plan on getting into Dartmouth and studying pediatrics. My father is keen on the brains but I just know I want to work with the youth." It makes me feel a little embarrassed saying it aloud.
"My cousin works in the NICU as a med tech. She really enjoys it."
"Yeah? I think I would like that." It is nice talking with someone who isn't poking at me on getting into med school like my father. It is even better not having someone whom judges or assumes I'll just get handed my medical career because of who my father is.
"I can, um, give her your email or something if you like."
"You would do that?" I ask, taken back from his kind gesture.
Nate shrugs, still looking down at his hands in his lap. "Yes."
"Thank you." I can't stop the smile that threatens to crack my face in half. He is so nice.
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All Nate does is nod his head and replaces his headphones. I go back to fingering the glass strips, returning to organizing them.
I am in my own world when the bell rings. So much so that I nearly jump out of my skin when Nate clears his throat behind me. I turn to see him stand. He has his walking stick in his hand, unextended, and his bag in the other.
"Um, when would you like to meet up to work on the project?"
My tongue suddenly feels like sandpaper in my mouth. The thought of being alone with Nate is enough to make my blood pressure rise.
I am about to answer when I hear my name being called from across the room, once again.
"Hey, babe," Danny says from just outside the frame of the biology room. His eyes grow narrow when he sees who I am talking to. He steps into the classroom and makes his way over to Nate and me.
I try my hardest not to wrench myself away from his grasp when his arm snakes around my waist. "What's going on here?"
If this was a normal, every day circumstance of a jealous boyfriend, I would have rolled my eyes at him and thought it was cute. But this is not the case. Danny is not jealous of Nate. Not in the slightest. Because in his eyes, he is God's gift to mankind. I used to think that too, sadly.
I can feel my cheeks start to heat at the thought that I was caught doing something that I was not supposed to be doing. I shake my head, trying not to come off as being taken off guard.
"Just discussing assignments."
Danny watches Nate closely, his eyes measuring up his tall frame. Danny's eyes roam all over my partner's face, from his brown eyes to the little scars just above his left eyebrow. I can practically hear his thought. Those are from the accident.
I try my hardest not to look at the scars marking his face. They make me sad. Nate must have sensed that he is being watched because he shifts uncomfortably on his feet. I elbow Danny in the ribs, breaking his inscrutable stare.
"Well," Danny says clearing his throat. "We should get going then, shouldn't we, babe?"
"Yes," I state feeling extremely anxious. Him calling me that makes me feel slightly ill. He usually called me pet names when he is trying to get something out of me. I just want to get out of the situation at hand.
Having Danny and Nathaniel in the same room is suffocating. My eyes keep roaming back to Nate as he stands there out of place. I can tell he is maybe planning to bolt by the way he keeps shifting back and forth, back and forth.
"Now." Danny's voice jolts me back from staring at Nathaniel.
I send a glare over at my boyfriend. My breathing becomes ragged instantly with embarrassment that he would act like this towards another human being. I know that my friends are not the nicest to everyone but that doesn't mean I am comfortable around it. Especially when it is directed towards me.
"What?" Danny asks having the audacity to look innocent. "Excuse me for wanting to spend quality time with my girlfriend." The way he purposely emphasizes that I belong to him grates on my nerves. "You understand, don't you Nathan?"
There is double meaning to his words. The understanding like a two sided sword hanging between us. There is also a demeaning way Danny purposely messes up Nathaniel's name.
All Nate does is nod. His stance says it all; he wants to leave.
And I let him.
I watch Nate make his way out of the classroom and the longer I watch him, the sadder I feel. I can feel Danny glaring at the side of my face.
"That was uncalled for." I turn away from him and quickly gather my things.
"Why are you mad?"
I open my mouth to give him an earful but quickly snap it shut because it would take more energy to explain to him how angry I am at him for being rude to Nate than how angry I am for him being just as rude to me. I really didn't have it in me at the moment.
I shake my head making my hair cover my stone cold expression like a blonde curtain. As I begin to walk away, Danny grabs my hand.
"Do not walk away from me. Let's talk this out, yeah?"
For a moment, I see the old Danny. The one who liked to secretly hold my hand under the lunch table our sophomore year before we officially started dating. He is now looking at me like the boy who wanted one more kiss before I headed back into the house to be greeted by my parents. I miss those days. Things were easy when he acted that way towards me. I could have almost mistaken it for love.
"I have homework to do." And with that I look away before I can see the real Danny. The one who actually scares me.
But I don't make it far before Alyssa almost runs me over while turning a corner.
"Hey, girl!" Her bright smile pulls tight across her tan face. "You never answered my texts last night?"
I faintly remember seeing a text from her asking about a party at one of the colleges tonight. Early week night parties are Alyssa's thing which made it my kind of thing too.
"Right, sorry." I push my hair out of my face. I really needed a haircut. I am still flustered from my conversation with Danny. "You know how I am with messaging back."
"So, is that a yes or no? I need to know because I need to find something to wear. I was thinking that cute short denim skirt tonight. What do you think? Yay or nay?"
I was going to tell her no to going out tonight but after the way Danny got me feeling just moments ago, my nerves need something to make them stop vibrating under my skin. I need a distraction.
"Yay to both."
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