I walk towards my bathroom to freshen up but on the way, a picture album catches my eye, hidden rather badly, disguised in my bookshelf. I had purposely chosen an album that looked like a book from the first glance.

My heart pounds erratically in my chest before I pick the album up, the familiar cover feels old and worn in my hands. I look at my bed to see Luke still sleeping peacefully, not wanting to disturb him I walk into my bathroom and sit the album on the counter.

Sighing I turn the tap on and splash some running water over my face before I slowly open the first page of the album, not missing the tightening of my chest as I view the first picture.

I'm unsure what exactly it was that pushed me to even open it, but the second I saw the worn out cover, my hands ached to touch it, to feel the familiar pages and see the familiar photos of a life I once had. A perfect life for the most part.

It was a picture of just Maddi and I before Elijah was born, we were both smiling at each other and you can feel the love just by looking at the photo. It kind it reminded me of Anna and Elsa, and how close they were, post brain freeze obviously.

Tears begin to well in my eyes but I hold them back and turn the page over, there a few pictures of just Maddi and me, making it harder to hold back my tears. I keep turning the pages until the first photo of the 3 of us comes into view.

I try and hold back my tears but they still fall out as I look at it. Elijah was obviously a newborn, and Maddi and I were sitting side by side with Elijah in front of us leaning on our laps. He was laughing and Maddi and I were smiling at our new little brother. Unlike so many other children, we were all excited to meet each other. There was never any jealousy or hate from the older siblings. On the same page, there was another photo of the 5 of us, Maddi, Elijah, Myself, my mom and even my biological father. My mom was holding Elijah in her arms, looking down at him and laughing which was making him laugh back, and Maddi and I were both in my father's arms, also laughing at our little brother. Even my father was laughing.

The tears poured out of my eyes more frequently but I continued to turn pages. There were a fair few with my mother in them, and less with my father in them. Every page I turned the tears became heavier and I struggled to not make a sound.

We were all so happy, there were some with just Maddi and me, and more with Elijah as well. There were also a lot of photos of Luke and Miles with us, even a few with Charlie and the extended family. I keep turning pages until I come to the photo the day before Maddi was diagnosed, it was a picture of the 3 of us and Luke and Miles. We were all standing in front of the water theme park a few suburbs over, like usual Miles was staring straight at Maddi beside him lovingly with his arm around her, while she smiled at the camera while the rest of us had huge cheesy grins on our faces.

I accidentally let out a quiet but mangled sound, and turn the page hoping to rid the memory of the last good day before everything happened. Charlie was invited along with her family but they were visiting her grandparents on her other side.

The next pages photo is taken a few months after the previous which is a long time for my family, well at least was. Maddi was lying in a hospital bed with a smile on her face, Miles was beside her looking terrible and Elijah and I were on the other side of her, matching Miles expression. The sad noises get louder as I turn the page again. It was a picture of my father and Maddi, it was obvious to me now that Maddi was faking her smile and I hate myself that I never picked up on that earlier.

I continue turning pages, every next photo is her condition deteriorating and I briefly live through every stage again. Turning the page again I come across a picture taken on her last day, she had just told me about our father and I looked pale and sick, but had forced myself to smile for the photo along with her, again it was obviously forced. We were holding hands and even though it would have looked like a cute sister moment to any spectator, I knew it was her way of comforting me after she told me about our father.

On the same page, I see the second last photo we had ever taken while she was around, it was one of the three of us, we all looked pale and unwell but all for different reasons. The last photo was one of the 5 of us, my mom was holding her hand tightly with a knowing look on her face, looking back I know that she knew that would be the last photo we would ever take with her. My father was sitting next to mom, smiling sadly at the camera while Elijah and I were on the other side of her, trying our best to look genuinely happy but failing. Maddi smiled at the camera, she looked genuinely happy even through her pale and sick self.

I don't realize how loud my sobs had become until I feel strong arms wrap around me where I had sunk on the floor in front of the cabinet with the open album in front of me, sinking into Luke's familiar arms I turn the album to its last full page. It was of Elijah and me at Maddi's funeral. As soon as I see the photo, the sobs become more frequent and I turn around to sink into Luke's open arms.

"Shhhhhhh, you're okay" he continues cooing as he plays with my hair.

I hear quiet footsteps and I briefly see Elijah's worried face come into view, I was surprised that he had woken up when he was such a deep sleeper, but not so surprised considering he had a second sense to always know when I was upset.

He looks at me and then at the open album on the floor, he closes his eyes for a second and sighs before he walks over to the album and closes it, putting it back on my bookshelf. I see Luke smile at him through my sobs and Elijah just nods back sadly. He turns to walk out but looks at me before he goes, he quickly comes over to me and kisses the back of my head before he walks out of my room. I had hated him seeing me like this, he was always so strong around me, I was meant to be the older sibling, I was meant to be there for him. Maddi was always there for Elijah and me before herself.

For fuck sake, I can't even carry on her legacy of being the supportive older sibling. How am I meant to carry on any of her legacies? She was so much better than I am in every way.

The thought just makes my sobs louder, I don't know how long I stay in Luke's arms, no doubt soaking his shirt. Eventually, my sobs turn into hiccups and I calm down a little, almost having cried myself to sleep. I feel Luke sigh and then stand up, picking me up with him before he places me gently on my bed and covers me with blankets.

I feel the bed dip beside me and I know that Luke has also gotten into bed. He turns away from me, probably to give me some space and eventually I fall asleep, dreaming of the day where I once again feel alive.

****

It had been a few weeks since the album catastrophe. School had been the same, sitting with the untouchables became a regular thing and now some people even started parting in the halls for Charlie and I. We hadn't heard much more on the field trip either and everyone was starting to get impatient.

Seeing Aiden on the roof also became a sort of routine. A few nights a week we would find one another up there and just chat about nothing in particular, never anything deep but I was glad for that because the roof became somewhere I could forget in Aiden's company. If not the roof, then we would always chat from our windows and I actually found myself looking forward to our chats. We had pretended the night on the roof after the tracks never happened and I was glad that he didn't ask why I was so vulnerable. We had become a fair bit closer as well in the last couple of weeks and it seemed that everyone was beginning to notice, Luke and Aiden's girls included. Getting glared at had become something I was very used to now, I guess that's what happens when you hang out with the 'untouchables.'

Today was lunch so Charlie and Luke had stayed the night here so we could all get ready together. Luke had became more clingy after that night, obviously worried about my well being and it seemed that Charlie had been acting a little strange sometimes as well, something was bothering her and I wanted to know what that was so I could help but everyone I asked, she just denied it. I was really excited to see Miles though, I hadn't seen him at all the last couple of weeks and I missed him.

We had just had breakfast and now the 3 of us were walking back up to my room to begin getting ready.

"So what's even happening for lunch?" I ask as soon as we close the door to my room and sit on my bed. Mom had told me everything but we had lunch with everyone so often that I always zoned out when she was explaining all the details.

"We're just going to my house, my mom wants you guys to meet satan and her parents and apparently your mom has also invited someone," Luke smiles at me.

"Who is my mom bringing?" I ask awkwardly, briefly recalling her telling me that she was bringing Aiden and his family but hoping it wasn't true.

"The Blacks" Charlie rolls her eyes, Luke and I both turn to face her so quickly I'm surprised we didn't get whiplash.

"What?" Luke asks groaning a little.

"Well your mom told mine that she was bringing her neighbor for everyone to meet and I just assumed that it would be Aiden and not that crazy cat lady from your other side" Charlie shrugs.

I groan simultaneously with Luke and fall dramatically with my head in Charlie's lap. It's not that I didn't want to see Aiden, but I was just so used to our little group. She starts to play with my hair like she always did and I found it hard not to stay like that forever. I had a bad feeling about today for some reason, and the thought made me very nervous that Aiden would be there.

"Do you think any of the other untouchables will be there?" Charlie asks us hopefully, I knew she really liked all the guys but she was specifically close to Blake, it was strange to me that they got along so well, it was almost like she was the only girl that he called a friend and not just a fuck buddy. I knew nothing would happen between them but it was really nice to see her talk so openly and freely to a guy who wasn't Luke.

"I doubt it, it's only meant to be family," I reply shrugging, she pouts down at me but I can see she doubts it also.

"Don't get me wrong, I like the guys but Aiden is just so...cocky, he rarely talks to me, he doesn't really even seem genuine unless he's hitting on some poor victim, it's like he has a mask on that disallows him to act like a genuine person" Charlie speaks in a confused tone. While Aiden and I had gotten closer, he seemed to rub up Charlie the wrong way. I assumed it was because of all his girls and I knew for a fact that often, her cheer practises were spent with the team discussing him.

I know what she means, Aiden shows a completely different side of himself when we're at school, which is really the only place that Charlie has seen him. He seems like a completely different person when we're alone. More vulnerable and...real. I knew Charlie meant none of what she said as an accusation, it was more a statement of whats she sees and out of the 3 of us, Charlie was always the best at really reading people. She noticed almost as much as Aiden did.

"I don't know, there is something kind of sad and mysterious about him," I comment, matching her confused tone.

"He has been through a lot as far as I know," Luke comments, surprising both Charlie and I that he was engaging in the Aiden topic willingly on his own accord.

"Like what?" I ask sitting up, I don't know why I was so curious, it was his business but for some reason, his mystery intrigued me and I wanted so badly to figure him out.

"I don't know," Luke begins, "I think the only person he has really told anything to was Toby, which is strange because I couldn't even imagine Toby being serious if his life depended on it."

I giggle lightly followed by Charlie.

"What are we going to wear?" Charlie asks me as she stands up to go through my drawers. The 3 of us were getting to Luke's early so he could get changed and we could help a little before everyone else got there.

"I have no clue," I reply falling back onto my bed while Charlie was no doubt going through my clothes to find us both an outfit. We shared all of our clothes which could be difficult sometimes because she was a little smaller than I was with her athletic body and small frame. I was in no way big, but I was a little taller and curvier, thanks to my mother's figure I had inherited.

Charlie had always gone on about how good my figure was and how she would die for it, but I had always preferred her small and athletic frame to my own. I guess it's true what they say; 'you want what you don't have, and don't have what you want'.

"Em for once can you do me a favor and let me dress you in something that shows your killer figure?" Charlie begs from the floor.

"Charlie, we're going to eat not to a club," I reply instantly making Luke smile.

"Oh come on, for me?" Charlie begs, I make the mistake of sitting up to look at her, and as per usual her brown doe eyes shine in hope.

"Agh fine," I groan and fall back on my bed. I don't miss Luke's unpleased face directed to his lap, but I assume that's only because he wanted me to be comfortable as much as I did.

"You're wearing this!!!" Charlie yells excitedly as she pulls out a light pink dress from my cupboard. It was something that she had left here ages ago, it looked amazing on her but I doubted it would look that good on my curvier, slightly taller figure.

Sighing I stand up and take the dress into my bathroom to try it on knowing very well I didn't have a choice.

The dress was a fancier, more formal but still casual version of a wrap-around-dress. It had spaghetti straps and a plunging neckline which would no doubt highlight my breasts. The dress wrapped a few times around my waist before I tied it. The dress was short as expected but it wasn't as bad as I thought and I actually looked half decent. The dress was styled to be a little tight around the lower half of my waist and ended just above mid-thigh.

I was actually relatively comfortable, well apart from my breast practically falling out. It didn't help that the spaghetti straps and neckline disallowed me from wearing any kind of bra. I was lucky that my breasts were still perky, especially for their size and I could get away without wearing a bra.

I walk out of the bathroom and instantly see Charlie smile brightly, and Luke's jaw drop. She continues smiling but he quickly recovers himself and just smiles at me.

"That's perfect," Charlie exclaims standing up and doing who knows what to my hair."

"What do you think for me?" she asks holding up two different dresses. One was a mustardy yellow color which actually looked amazing on her and the other was a navy blue one, another color she always looked amazing in. Although the navy one was cute, the yellow one was more her.

"The mustard yellow," I reply strongly pointing to the dress in her left hand.

She nods and walks into my bathroom to get changed, we had always gotten dressed freely in front of each other, probably because we used to bathe together, but had gone into the bathroom on Luke's account.

"You look amazing Emilia, but are you sure you want to wear that?" Luke asks, a part of me felt like he didn't want me to wear it, which unfortunately made me want to wear it all the more.

Yeah I was one of those girls...sue me.

"Yeah, why?" I question suspiciously.

"I don't know, it's just tighter than usual," Luke replies instantly.

"I like it," I demand, even though I did like it, I didn't like it as much as I made out I did in front of Luke.

He gives un unpleased look to the ground but doesn't speak any further.

Before I can ask him about it, the bathroom door opens and a smiling Charlie comes out. She looks amazing.

The dress wasn't tight like mine and was loose and straight. She could wear a strapless bra if she so wanted to but I knew she wouldn't, Charlie rarely wore bras, another thing I wanted her small boobs for. She really only ever wore bras when she was doing physical activity. The dress was mustard yellow-orange and had different sized flowers printed on various areas. The dress had a small slit on her left knee and stronger spaghetti straps than mine. She had put on a few necklaces from my bathroom to pair. All in all, she looked amazing as usual.

"I love it," I squeal, and smile when she agrees.

"How come I've never worn this before?" Charlie comments looking at herself in the mirror.

"I have no clue but it's yours know considering you've ruined the dress for me with your beauty" I wink, she winks back and we both fall into a giggle.

"You look great Charlie," Luke smiles, she beams at his compliment but doesn't say anything else.