After a very forced and troubled slumber that I had expected, I let myself fully awaken. I see Katniss across the room, staring at the ground, deep in terrifying thoughts. She looks sad, disgusted, and guilty. She glances at me and the others who are starting to wake up as well. Everyone looks around so blankly, I can tell we're still in shock, but maybe we'll never really recover.

Katniss breaks the deepening silence with a guilty confession about how we were on her own mission that would fulfill her own wishes, and that she lied to us about Coin sending us to Snow.

"Katniss, we all knew you were lying about Coin sending you to assassinate Snow." Gale says.

"You knew maybe, the soldiers from Thirteen didn't," she replies.

"Do you really think Jackson believed you had orders from Coin?" Cressida asks. "Of course she didn't. But she trusted Boggs, and he'd clearly wanted you to go on."

Katniss looks away. "I never even told Boggs what I planned to do."

"You told everyone in Command!" Gale says. "It was one of your conditions for being the Mockingjay. 'I kill Snow.'"

"But not like this," Katniss says, still looking guilty. "It's been a complete disaster."

"I think it would be considered a highly successful mission." Gale says, starting to sound more like a solider than a comforting friend. "We infiltrated the enemy camp, showing that the Capitol's defenses can be breached. We've managed to get footage of ourselves all over the Capitol's news. We've thrown the whole city into chaos trying to find us.

"Trust me, Plutarch's thrilled," Cressida adds.

"That's because Plutarch doesn't care who dies," Katniss says distastefully. "Not as long as his Games are a success."

Cressida and Gale keep coming up with more things to try and make Katniss stop blaming herself for everything. Pollux just sits in his handmade pelt bed and nods to everything they say. Katniss' eyes travel around the room until they end up on me.

"What do you think, Peeta?" She finally asks.

I lift my wrists with the cuffs on them higher up on the stairs support so I can push myself into a better sitting position. Everyone stares at me, waiting for an answer. As far as I can tell, Katniss was always so unaware at how blatant and brave her actions are and how confident and strong she looks while doing them. That's how this whole thing started. She's someone to look up to, and she never realizes it. Her intensions towards Snow on this mission were clear, and she was willing to lead us to him because she thought she could kill him whether Coin told her to or not. No one would follow someone who looked scared and hesitant to lead the way and fight, and she shouldn't lose that confidence now. Even after everything that's happened, we can't stop now.

"I think... you still have no idea. The effect you can have. None of the people we lost were idiots. They knew what they were doing. They followed you because they believed you really could kill Snow."

My words seem to convince her, she holds onto my gaze, nods, then pulls out a paper map and turns to Cressida.

"Where are we Cressida?" She asks.

We can walk to the mansion, the pods are deactivated because of all the residents there, disguises should get us there undetected, but we don't know what we should do when we get there. We can't break into the mansion because it's heavily guarded and Snow isn't coming out any time soon."

"What we need is to get him out in the open," Gale says. "Then one of us could pick him off."

"Does he ever appear in public anymore?" I ask.

"I don't think so," says Cressida. "At least in all the speeches I've seen, he's been in the mansion. Even before the rebels got here. I imagine he became more vigilant after Finnick aired his crimes."

The nurses told me that Finnick aired a propo while I was being rescued in the Training Center. They explained the things that he revealed, like what Snow did when he came to power. I'm sure that now not only people in the districts, but people in the Capitol are angry as well. And not just people like Tigris, who've been affected by him directly. Is there any way we could get him to come out? It seems like an impossible task...

"I bet he'd come out for me." Katniss says. "If I were captured. He'd want that as public as possible. He'd want my execution on his front steps."

It's stuck in her head that everyone's death is her fault, and she thinks that she owes them somehow, so she thinks that acting so rashly, sacrificing herself, or just dying in general is what she needs to do. I know her train of thought, it's clear to me what she intends to do. That might be the closest thing that would get Snow out of his mansion, but all this guilt is blocking away any knowledge she knows that has to do with President Snow.

"No." I say, shaking my head. "There are too many alternative endings to that plan. Snow might decide to keep you and torture information out of you. Or have you executed publicly without being present. Or kill you inside the mansion and display your body out front."

She seems to see my point, but she's still somehow unconvinced,

"Gale?" She asks, turning to him.

"It seems like an extreme solution to jump to immediately," he says. "Maybe if all else fails. Let's keep thinking."

We all stare down at the map in silence, until footsteps are heard upstairs, Tigris must be closing her shop for the night.

The panel opens and she purrs down at us in a voice that distinctly resembles a cat,

"Come up, I have some food for you."

As we walk up the stairs, Cressida asks, "Did you contact Plutarch, Tigris?"

"No way to." She answers, "He'll figure out you're in a safe house. Don't worry."

I don't think any of us are really concerned, our whereabouts staying unknown to everyone seems most safe. Katniss looks relieved, she's probably glad that she doesn't have to deal with Plutarch telling her what to do; she hates being told what to do and how to act. Plutarch hasn't been setting up or planning our actions since the propo we did back near where our camp was, where Boggs stepped on the pod that blew up. I wonder what he thinks of it. He's a Gamemaker, he's probably upset that he's not in control of all the action.

When Tigris shows us the small bits of food she's provided for us, Katniss tries to object, but she waves it away,

"I eat next to nothing. And then, only raw meat."

I'm amazed at how committed Tigris is to who she wants to be, it's come to a point where she's not just playing dress-up, but it's who she is. That's probably how she wants it to be, and she won't change if other people think it's too weird, even if it's President Snow.

We take the food she set out for us; bits of stale bread, moldy cheese, and half a bottle of mustard. Nobody mentions how we already have enough food with us, she wants us to have it, so we take the nice gesture. Katniss scrapes the mold off of the cheese and divides the food up evenly among us.

The TV is on in the corner of the room, we watch it as we eat. It's more news broadcasts with more updates about us. They finally figured out who's left of us and they're already offering awards to anyone who could even provide information leading to where they could catch us. They show some clips of us in the tunnels underground, shooting at and running from the Peacekeepers, then they cut to a short tribute to the Capitol women we left dead in her apartment, skipping all of the events endured with the mutations.

"Have the rebels made a statement today?" Katniss asks Tigris. She just shakes her head. "I doubt Coin knows what to do with me now that I'm still alive."

Tigris lets out an short airy laugh. "No one knows what to do with you, girlie." she says, then shoves a pair of furry leggings into Katniss's hands. I snort at the comment, suddenly aware of how true it is. Whatever Katniss was told to do, she never followed. Anything we tried to plan, she was always independent. She never realizes how touchy and defensive she is, or how much other people notice it. I used to laugh at how clueless she was, and now i find myself laughing at it once again. Katniss just holds onto the leggings, glaring at them like she's been glaring at everything else.

When we're back in the cellar, we're back to trying to form a plan. We finally decide on one thing, we can't travel as a whole group anymore. Katniss presses on the bait plan, but there's still no one else who agrees to it. We argue it over, saying we should try to infiltrate the president's mansion before she should think about turning herself in. She's so focused on that idea, I have this fear that she will go astray to move on with this plan, it's what she would normally do.

It's close to nighttime, so we decide to stay for the night, then leave in the morning with a decent plan. We change bandages, get comfortable in our pelt beds, they handcuff me back to the support, then we try to sleep. I have this faint feeling that keeps growing, that makes it seem like I'm sleeping in the arena again, feeling so unsafe and unsure. The flashbacks come back to me in my sleep, of those ill nights with my leg in such excruciating and numbing pain. When I woke up constantly because I was so scared that Katniss was gone from my side.

I wake up abruptly, with my cuffs rattling against the stairs support above my head. I huff in a deep intake of breath, then breath out, quickly realizing how exceedingly dry my throat and tongue are. I push myself up into a sitting position, let out a throaty cough, then glance at the faucet at the end of the cellar. I desperately swallow some saliva, there's no point, my hands are cuffed tightly to the support, I never had a water bottle and I can't walk over to the faucet. I made them chain me here, so there's no one I can blame but myself. I sigh deeply and hopelessly stare at the faucet some more. This time I notice a pair of eyes looking at me from the corner of my eye. Gale, lying down on his own pelt bed only a few feet away in front of me, glances over at the faucet then looks back at me.

"Are you thirsty?" He whispers.

When I nod, he grabs a water bottle, stands up, and walks over to the faucet. When he returns, he unlocks the cuffs so I can hold the water bottle. I pour it down my throat so fast that I choke on it. It drips down my chin and onto my uniform as I cough it out violently. Gale pats my back until I'm finished coughing.

"You alright?" He asks when I'm finally done.

"Yeah." I reply before pouring the water into my mouth a second time, much slower this time. The water isn't very cold, but it still drowns out the dryness.

"Thanks for the water," I say.

"No problem, I wake up ten times a night anyway."

At first I'm confused at this comment, why wouldn't he go into a deep slumber with his aching neck wound finally at ease? But eventually it comes to me, it's the same reason I would wake up all throughout the night.

"To make sure Katniss is still here?" I ask.

"Something like that," Gale admits.

There's one thing Gale and I always used to have in common, caring about Katniss. I never really thought of his side of it, watching his childhood friend that he eventually came to deeply care for, fighting for her life through a TV screen, unable to do anything about it. He cared for her family during the Games, she cared for him deeply too. I think he would understand the struggle Katniss has to the awareness of the kind of effect she has on people.

"That was funny, what Tigris said. About no one knowing what to do with her." I say.

"Well, we never have." Gale adds.

We both laugh. It's strange, we've never been friends, in fact, we've barely even talked to each other before. We're more similar than I thought, on the subject of Katniss. All I ever felt towards Gale was jealousy ever since I was a kid. It used to be just petty judgement only because he was always with Katniss, then I just kind of accepted the fact that she liked him and not me with that bitterness lingering in the back of my mind.

I'm sure he's felt bitter towards me too, because of all the kissing and fake love we had to act out, he watched it all, I'm sure it was hard. Even though it wasn't fake on my part, all of it was an act. There were moments, but I don't think she ever felt that way towards me. I don't think she's ever faked her love for Gale.

I'm sure Katniss will be happy with him when this is all over.

Gale looks over at Katniss lying in her pelt bed, her back facing us. It doesn't look like he's so sure about the kind of future I think they will probably have. I can't see why he'd think that at this point. Katniss and Gale have always been together, so sure about how they feel towards each other and surviving through everything that's happened.

"She loves you, you know," I tell him. "She as good as told me after they whipped you."

"Don't believe it," Gale says, still staring at her resting figure. "The way she kissed you in the Quarter Quell... well, she never kissed me like that."

"It was just part of the show," I say, looking away from him. I have to admit, that moment on the beach was the most real thing sparked between us. I don't think it was a part of the act, but all of that doesn't matter anymore, not after everything that's happened since then.

"No, you won her over. Gave up everything for her. Maybe that's the only way to convince her you love her."

It's true, I did give up everything for her, but right now it feels like a different person did all of that, probably because it was, I'm not the same person I was. So it shouldn't count for anything right now. Every time I feel something for her, my mind seems to just reject it.

"I should have volunteered to take your place in the first Games. Protected her then." He says.

"You couldn't," I shoot back. "She'd never have forgiven you. You had to take care of her family. They matter more to her than her life."

"Well, it won't be an issue much longer. I think it's unlikely that all three of us will be alive at the end of the war. And if we are, I guess it's Katniss' s problem. Who to choose." Gale says.

I still can't see how Katniss would want to have anything to do with me after the war, if we both survive. I'm not the same Peeta I used to be, I'm some crazy maniac. There might have been something between us before, but whatever it was is gone. Why would she want to stay around someone who constantly attempts to kill her?

Of course, I'm not mentioning the fact that earlier today, Katniss kissed me again even while I was on the verge of insanity. Why she had the instinct to do that, I don't know, but it's clear that Gale thinks he knows. We both yawn.

"We should get some sleep," Gale says.

"Yeah."

I lower myself back down onto my pelt bed so that I'm back in a comfortable position to sleep in. Gale moves back over to his own furry pile.

"I wonder how she'll make up her mind." I say as Gale shifts around his pelts.

"Oh, that I do know. Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can't survive without." Gale says as he settles down.

In the end, Katniss does what she wants. I can't read her mind, I don't know what she thinks or feels, so like Gale said, I guess it'll be her problem.