"Cato? Cato. Please. Talk to me."

I was very aware now of Clove waving a hand in front of me shortly I came back to tell her the news. I mean, who hasn't heard it by now? All of Panem by this point would be rooting for their favourite team to come home, and if I had to bet right now, they'd be completely puzzled. I knew I screwed things up just being with (Y/N), because now I don't even know where she is, and she probably wouldn't trust either of us to be on her side anymore.

I shook my head. "Clove. This is all messed up. And it's all my fault," I finally cried, burying my head in my hands.

"What's your fault?" Clove asked me, crossing her arms. "The fact that you initiated romance with (Y/N)?"

"I didn't initiate any romance with her, Clove," I said defensively, removing my hands from my face. "I was just trying to help her, protect her. But I guess something turned," I eventually said, heaving a sigh. It's true. If (Y/N) goes back to Peeta, would she forget about me? What was I even thinking, sending her back to Peeta? Was it really for her good? Was it for my good? I know what I did was real.

Clove shook her head in completely exasperation. "Listen, Cato," she said, grasping onto my shoulders. "I miss her too, you know. But we have to focus on getting home together. What's so important about her and Peeta by this point? They die, we leave. We get out of here, and celebrate our victory in District 2. Do you understand that?"

I wish I did. Honestly by this point, I didn't want to win this game anymore. I already know that death is inevitable, that people would probably start rooting for (Y/N) and Peeta despite the latter supposedly having a girlfriend back home. If they somehow found each other again...now what? Would the Capitol root for them? Sure, District 2 always have the glory, and being old favourites we might be one of the best bets. But now that we look onto the top 6, I have never remembered anyone from District 12 making it this far. And if there's anyone I want to see take the glory, it's (Y/N) and Peeta.

Now I think back to the time I talked with (Y/N) on the balcony, and gave her my sweater to keep her warm. The very first time I opened up to (Y/N), alone, without any of the Careers to tease me, not even Clove...and immediately, I shivered. I told her that I didn't know if I could keep up this image of me as a potential fighter.

And thinking about it now, I know I can't.

"Yeah," I responded to her automatically, nodding, though my heart twisted inside. I knew I can't win. (Y/N) and Peeta have been crowd favourites since their interviews, and knowing them now, I want them to get the chance of winning together. And in doing so, I have to sacrifice myself entirely.

"Good." Clove's eyes were cold and steel-like as she removed her hands from my shoulders and began to rearrange her knives. "So who's left?"

"(Y/N) and Peeta from 12," I said bluntly. "Then there's the girl from 5 and the guy from 11, Thresh."

"Huh." Clove shrugged as she sheathed her knives away into her pack, stuffing her sleeping bag away too. "Easy pickings for us. We'll get rid of the girl from 5, then the two from 12, and then Thresh. And then voila! We'll be home before we know it."

"Clove," I said, facing her with a clenched jaw.

"And of course after that, we bask in the glory of winning the Games, as victors," Clove continued, not paying the slightest attention to me.

"Clove," I repeated, my voice growing edgy.

"And then we'll be mentors!" she cried, pumping the air with a fist. "Mentors to all the future tributes who show up at the Games and follow our footsteps!"

"CLOVE!" I finally screamed.

At the sound of my raised voice, she turned to me. "What now, Cato? If you're going to complain about (Y/N), save it. I'm done with that subject."

I shook my head. "No, just...don't talk like that. Please. We don't even know the odds yet."

"Cato, what's wrong with you?" Clove asked. "Why are you thinking like this? You're not yourself since she left."

I shrugged in defeat. "Forget it," I said exasperatedly. "Just find somewhere to stay."

****************************

The next morning, the both of us got up, and suddenly I felt the chill in my bones as I woke up to a cold day. I jammed my hands in my pockets now, teeth chattering in the freezing temperature, wishing that I still woke up every day with (Y/N) beside me. It's only happened twice, and even now I miss the feeling of holding her in my arms, protecting the greatest fighter I have ever seen in my life...

Before I knew it, hot tears started to flow down my cheeks, leaving a wet and sticky trail on my skin. I didn't want to wipe them away--I had no heart to. I just laid still, biting my lip in guilt, surrendering myself to the misery and frustration that blossomed within me, wishing that (Y/N) was with me.

Clove, who slept away from me, got up and packed up promptly, trying to rouse me now from my stupor. "Cato, get up," she said, snapping her fingers under my nose. "Come on. We've got to get a move on."

I groaned and got up eventually, even though I didn't feel like doing so. My heart felt heavy, as did my head, and with every passing moment I didn't want to move. But something within me told me to move along with Clove, tending to my wounds and trying to find other tributes to kill, but to no avail. This made me feel a bit hopeful--maybe (Y/N) and Peeta could stand a chance to live after all. Meanwhile, Clove and I managed to hunt a few things, and gather some plants and berries for us to eat. Definitely something that could keep us going for a few days. The only thing we were missing, however, was a fire...

Just as we were settling down by the trunk of a tree, the booming voice of Claudius Templesmith immediately rang through the entire arena.

"Attention tributes. Attention. There will be a feast at sunrise tomorrow at the Cornucopia. Now, this is no ordinary occasion. Some of you might think about turning us down, but this is something that you would need."

Something that we need? What is it that I still need? I cocked my head in confusion, but Claudius wasn't done.

"Each district would receive a bag. This bag would contain one thing from your own home for each tribute. Of course, your sponsors would be able to send these to you personally, but we plan to be generous hosts and pass them to you ourselves. Think twice before refusing, as your days are numbered and you may never see your home again. All the best to you, and may the odds be ever in your favour."

A spark of static finished that, and immediately, I scowled. How could I go out there and risk my life for something that once belonged to my family? I don't know if I can do this. To think that I'd hold on to a piece of my family while they root for me...

"So? Are you going, Cato?" Clove asked me.

I shook my head defiantly. "I can't. I won't go. What's in for me, anyway? I'll die before I know it."

"But Cato, this is something from your own family," Clove reminded me. "You won't be able to find another gift from them again." Suddenly, she leaned in close to me, her fingers groped onto my face, eyes just literally inches from mine. "Do you want to win this or not?" she finally demanded.

"Uh..." I stammered, shocked at Clove's sudden actions. Why is she doing this? Is this just to take my mind away from (Y/N) before tomorrow comes?

"Well?" she demanded, her eyes narrowing further as she moved into me.

"Clove? That's freaking me out," I told her right off the bat. "Yes I do, but I don't want to risk my life in there!"

Clove eventually sighed, pulling out three knives from her jacket. "Fine, Cato. If you don't want to go, I will. I can't believe I'm talking to a complete coward by this point." She groaned as she rolled over in her sleeping bag again. "You will regret your answer tomorrow, Cato," she finally said.

"Really," I challenged her. "You really think so?!"

In response, she snored. Great, now she's asleep.

So now I snuggled into the sleeping bag, wishing for the last time for (Y/N)'s arms around me again. I really miss her warmth, her smile, her everything. Yes, I might be completely over-obsessed with her by now. But I know she's happy with Peeta. Still, thinking about her with him made me feel...miserable.

I know I did the right thing. But something told me it wasn't right at all.

Just as my eyes closed, I vowed to see (Y/N) one last time before I die. I need to at least remember the person who I opened up to, the first person outside my district who could charm me with a simple smile.

I have to see her again.