"(Y/N)..."

As I took off from the metal plate, away from the Cornucopia, and into the woods ahead, her name was all I could think of. The girl who I hurt. The girl who would never forgive me no matter how many times I ask for her forgiveness. At the entrance to the wooded area, I glanced back, but only briefly, my eyes flitting to find her. Then I saw her. She shot an arrow through the chest of another tribute while on the ground, and then took off after a few other people--the Careers.

I should have known. This is what I get for her not forgiving me?! For me to be completely alone now and try to survive on my own?

"I know you want to go home to Katniss. I get that. I won't have anything left if I win, anyway. You'd be gone by then."

"ARGH!" I screamed suddenly, clutching at my hair with my fingers and feeling the urge to just yank all my hair out. I should have known that she lied to me. I should have known that she would team up with the Careers. I should have known that she'll never ever forgive me for hurting her a second time. I wounded her, and she doesn't want me to tend to her wounds.

I quickly sprinted further into the woods, trying my best to banish (Y/N) and the things I said to hurt her from my mind. It was too much. It has been haunting me to a point right now where I felt scared and angry and regretful. And I hated it. How much I wish to turn time back and just apologize to her right after the interview. But what's past is past, what's said is said. Her voice would never fade from my mind. It was haunting.

After a bit, I felt my heart tear itself apart from running for way too long, and I stopped to catch my breath. Slowly, I turned around to look behind me, to check if anyone was on my tail. Luckily, there was no one there.

I turned back now and began to walk all the way back to the Cornucopia. I know Haymitch told me to get out of there the minute the gong sounded, but I really can't just leave with nothing. As I exited the woods again, convinced that anyone still alive wouldn't be on my tail, I gaped at the large amount of bodies laying there on the grass, just steps away from the mouth of the Cornucopia. How could this be? How long has the fight even lasted?

Slowly, gingerly, I made my way around the bodies of the several tributes who laid there, eyes open and empty as they gazed off into space. I spotted a few more weapons that could come in handy--a knife, a long piece of rope, a sleeping bag, and a box of matches. Typical weapons I saw in the training centre.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned around in fright to see another boy--another tribute. District 3, I think.

"Will you clear out?!" he hissed suddenly through gritted teeth.

"Why?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just do as I say if you don't want to get killed," he said vaguely, raising a small stone in his hand.

Immediately, I got my things, grabbed a random black backpack, and ran off, leaving the tributes and the rest of the supplies alone. What is District 3 going to do with this stuff, anyway?

I re-entered the woods again and rested near the stump of a big tree, panting and wheezing. Quickly, I packed everything into the bag and then started off again after a bit of rest, walking at a slower pace than usual. At least no one is on my trail, right?

Suddenly, there came a flash of red hair flying right under my nose, and I whipped my head to the right to see the girl from District 5 run past me in fright. I stared after her in confusion. Why wouldn't she kill me if she knew I was there?

Oh right. She was scared of the others.

Slowly, steadily, I headed over to the river just a few feet away. Remembering Haymitch's advice to me and (Y/N), I quickly got myself some water and filled up my water bottle that I found in my backpack. Intrigued, I emptied out the rest of my pack and found a lot of packs of food. Dried beef jerky, dried fruit, a small loaf of bread, packs of crackers. I'll have to do some berry picking and find edible plants, maybe, if I was to keep going in the arena.

I was only now snacking on a strip of beef jerky and crackers when the cannons began to boom. Each cannon represented one dead tribute. I didn't manage to count how many bodies I saw at the Cornucopia, but I'm hoping it wasn't a lot. Silently, I kept count.

7, 8, 9, 10...11.

11 tributes are dead. 13 are left. And one of these tributes left is the friend who I will never get back...

I closed my eyes for a bit and let my head rest on the trunk of a tree, images of Delly and my father and my two brothers flashing through my mind in vivid detail. I know they're going to yell at me if I come home. (Y/N) had a point last night--my father and Delly and even my brothers mentioned to me that he was rooting for me and her to be together. And what did I do instead?

I rejected them and chose Katniss.

Who can't lie, though? Katniss is a fighter too, like (Y/N). She would never stop at anything to take care of her sister and her mother after her father also died in the mines. But why was it (Y/N) and not Katniss who volunteered for Prim? I never really knew the answer to that. And I barely ever talked to Katniss at school, so what made me fall for her after that day when she, sitting so weakly at our apple tree, clutched onto the bread that I threw in her direction and ran off?

I still recalled that day. We were both 11 years old--(Y/N) too, actually. It was a really cold winter day, I think. She was frozen and weak, and at the sight of her running by the bakery I almost felt weakened at her frail and delicate form. I watched from afar as she picked up the lid of the trash can outside, hoping to find some scraps of food. Nothing was there.

Just then, my mom went out and scolded her. I couldn't hear her clearly, but she was pissed off at Katniss for trying to steal, I think. While I was watching, the bread inside started to burn. It didn't take long for me to notice the smell, so I tried to take it out without my mom knowing.

Unfortunately for me, though, my mom noticed. She hit me so hard on the face while pushing me out of the back door. "Feed it to the pigs!" she screamed, whacking me again on the cheek, me clutching onto the burnt bread so hard it was already starting to feel super hot and melt my flesh.

I was soon shoved out into the thick pouring rain, eyes widening just as wide as Katniss's when I saw her. She was sitting right by our apple tree, clutching onto herself for warmth. For a moment, I thought she was going to give up completely. Her head was leaning against the trunk, and her body sagged.

Looking at her, I felt so scared. I didn't want her to just die right here, right then in my backyard. Otherwise the image of her wide eyes pleading for help would never leave my mind. When my mom's back was turned, I ripped out the burnt chunks, threw them in the pigsty, then threw whatever was left of the unscathed bread by Katniss's feet, out in the rain. Then I retreated back inside. Next moment when I looked out the window, Katniss already shoved the loaves of bread into her shirt and was running for dear life.

I never knew how to handle the situation after it, though. She looked significantly better. Every time we saw each other, I'd look away after a bit. I don't know why, but I couldn't talk with her. Till now, I don't know what to say to her. She looked like she didn't know what to say to me either. But this was the first time I helped anyone. And I felt good about it...but it got really awkward after.

Now there was (Y/N). Being her first friend since our very first day of school, I have to admit, she and I got pretty close. We helped each other out a lot, but none of these episodes were so significant as Katniss's. And maybe my father was right...that maybe, (Y/N) and I would have a chance together. But since we're both reaped and still in the arena, is that still even possible? I really don't want to hurt her if (Y/N) and I had a relationship.

I wonder what my family and Delly would make of my profession of my love for Katniss.

Soon, night began to fall, and I was feeling cramped from sitting and thinking for so long. It was a surprise no one came by, actually. So I decided to walk around the woods for a bit, munching on my dinner as I took a look out for plants, animals, and tributes.

After a bit, I managed to find a wide, tall, and sturdy tree that can serve me as my camp out. Putting one foot on one branch, I quickly climbed up the tree, almost the same way as I remember doing in training. As I settled in on one of the slightly wider branches, laying my sleeping bag over a fork in the trees, I heard the Panem anthem come on and watched the sky for the fallen tributes.

First to show up was the girl from District 3. No surprise there. That probably meant that all the Career tributes from 1 and 2 are alive. Then the boy from District 4 shows up, which was unexpected. I wonder what got rid of him; normally all the Careers make it through the first day. the boy from District 5 shows up next. Then both from 6 and 7. The boy from 8. Both from 9. And the girl from 10 was the last one. Then the seal glowed, and then the sky turned black.

(Y/N)...so she did make it with the Careers after all. I saw her run off with them. I recalled accusing her for getting really close to Cato, and every time I think of seeing them together, I felt really angry for some reason. My fists clenched so hard and I was trembling so hard, I thought I would explode.

What is this feeling? Do I still care for (Y/N)? I hope I do. I think I do.

Suddenly, I yawned. Well, I guess it'll be hard to find sleep up here, since I have never slept in a tree, but there's a first time for everything. With that, I tucked my backpack up in a small nook in the trunk, and then closed my eyes, laying in the warmth and security of the sleeping bag. Sleep came to me really quickly. The last thing I thought before I entered dream world was how disgusting my mouth might probably be without brushing...

SNAP!

Almost immediately, my eyes flew open at the noise. What the hell? I turned around in my bag and saw a girl crouched in front of a fire, trying to warm herself up.

I had to shake my head and grit my teeth. How could she? To think that it's not even close to light, and she'd make a fire right then and there! I'm literally so close to the biggest idiot in the Games, and anyone who'd come this way would kill me and finish me off after her. I was sure of it.

"What--" I heard the girl mutter, then she shrieked. "Oh no!"

"Oh no?" I heard Cato ask in complete confusion.

The girl seemed to look panicked as she looked wildly at the group standing before her. "Don't kill me!" she shrieked, and I could hear the pleading in her voice. "Please, don't kill me! Please!"

"Sorry. But this is the Hunger Games," I could hear Glimmer say. "Welcome to your demise." Then there came a scream, and the cannon sounded in the sky.

I tried to lie as still as I could, not daring to make anymore noise than I should be, as I watched the group retreat. One of the group members seemed to hang back as she looked on at the dead girl. I had to squint now to see it was (Y/N), gritting her teeth and looking at the girl with anger. But it wasn't anger at the girl. It was at the Capitol.

All the past conversations we had together suddenly rush back to me. Now I realize and understand why she hated the Capitol so much, hated the Games. I just hope that she'd still be able to play along and not do anything rash. But what could (Y/N) not do?

(Y/N) seemed to be rooted in place for a period of time before a hovercraft appeared, and someone had to pull her back. Then I saw him wrap his arms around her.

Cato.

I felt it again. Anger. Pure loathing. I began to shake so violently I thought I would fall out of the tree, but luckily I didn't. Then they walked away, his arm around her.

Did I really lose (Y/N) to him?

I turned away from the scene, finally, and bit my lip in doubt. I knew what I have done was unforgivable. For all I know now, I would never get (Y/N) back before one of us dies. A tear slides down my cheek, but I didn't want to wipe it as I realized the truth.

I love (Y/N). But I've lost her.

Lost her forever to Cato, another boy from another district.