hi snowflakes 🥰

Siraj plopped down on the couch, running his hands up and down his face a few times. He pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a frustrated huff of air as he tried to keep himself calm.

Ximena crouched down in front of Semaj, wiping his face. "Go play wit' your tablet, baby." she told him, he turned around and walked back into his bedroom as Ximena walked into the living room. "So you have nothing to say?"

Siraj relaxed back into the couch, closing his eyes as he started to rub his temples. "What do you want me to say, Ximena?" he calmly spoke, slowly flicked his gaze upward at her. "Hm?"

"You went against my wishes, Siraj. I told you, I didn't want her around our son. Why is it when it comes to her, you don't want to seem like the bad guy?" Ximena shook her hands before slapping them down on her thighs.

"Our son loves Soleil, Ximena. Who am I to keep her away from him? Did you not see how he started crying when he realized she was about to leave again? You didn't notice how our son was acting afterwards when I made Soleil leave the first time? If she did anything to him, he wouldn't act the way he does towards her — do you know when we went out today, he ignored the fuck out of me and focused all of his attention on her? Why would we keep our son away from someone he genuinely loves, and who genuinely loves him back?" Siraj ranted on, pointing his finger towards Semaj's bedroom.

"This have to be way deeper than you leading on Ximena, Soleil made an innocent mistake. She fell asleep while our son was in her care, nothing more or less. She didn't abuse him, she didn't do no hardcore drugs around him — all she did was fall asleep and she apologized for it." Siraj counted on his fingers, trying to understand why Ximena was being so hard on Soleil.

Ximena stared at him with a hardened expression, before looking away. She licked over her lips as she folded her arms across her chest. "Hello!" Siraj snapped his fingers at her, growing even more agitated with her.

"She was my friend," Ximena finally spoke, causing him to jerk his head back in confusion. He opened his mouth to speak but she interrupted him. "That's why I'm so fuckin' angry, she was my friend and she started messing around wit' you."

"Are you serious?" he twisted up his face, scooting closer to the edge of the couch. "That's why you holding a grudge against her? That's why you don't want her around? Because we messing around? If you want to be mad at anyone, then be mad at me, because I initiated the shit between us."

"Don't sit up here and act like it's no big deal, because it is, Siraj. Soleil was my friend, I've confided in her about a lot of shit, even stuff about you. We use to hang out all the time — for her to start messing around wit' you is like a fuckin' slap in my face!" Ximena raised her voice, pointing her finger at herself.

Siraj stared at her, narrowing his eyes at her. He let out a dry laugh, rubbing over his goatee. "Y'all were friends, huh? So, why didn't you, as her friend, check in on her when Xahir died? Hm? Have you checked on her once since she lost him? Have you ever went over to her house or picked up a phone to call her and ask her how she was doing? Have you been a shoulder she could cry on when she needed it?" he bombarded her with questions.

"Don't you fuckin' dare try to turn this around on me, Siraj!" Ximena yelled at him.

"See, you can't even answer the questions, because you know that's bullshit, Ximena!" he humorlessly laughed again, gesturing towards her. "If you were friends like you claimed, you would be there for her! If you were her friend, you would understand the innocent mistake she made that day! She's still fuckin' grieving — yeah, be a parent first, but afterwards be a fuckin' friend! You so full of shit bro!"

"Every chance you got to be a friend towards Soleil, all you did was belittle her and talk shit behind her back! Some type of friend, you are." Siraj shook his head, getting up from the couch, walking out of the living room. "You really hate to see me happy, I would never do the shit you do to me. Every nigga you have fooled wit', I never interfered or tried to sabotage your relationship — because I'm not bitter."

"You didn't want no relationship wit' me, Ximena. Why is when I finally found someone that makes me happy and reciprocates the same energy I give her, you try to sabotage it? Using my son against me, to make me drop her? You know I'll choose my son every time, because I'm a parent first and he's my priority — but for fuck sakes, Ximena, don't I deserve to be happy too?" he paced back and forth, holding his arms out.

"Even if it's wit' your best friend's sister?" she scoffed.

"Get the fuck out," he said, heading towards Semaj's room. "Semaj, let's go li'l man. Get yo' stuff," he walked into the bedroom. Ximena shook her head, and got up from the couch, walking towards the front door.

Minutes later, Siraj reappeared with Semaj holding his hand, his backpack hanging off his shoulder. He grabbed his key off of the counter and walked past Ximena without saying a word, opening the door.

Siraj found it pointless trying to get Ximena to understand where he was coming from. She was stuck in her ways, and it was quite difficult trying to get someone like her to look at from another point of view.

It was irritating, because he understood that she was being protective of their son. However she wasn't trying to understand that Soleil made a mistake, as much as he wanted to mention that she was getting help, he knew that it wasn't his business to tell or probably wouldn't make a difference to change her mind.

He wasn't quite ready to let go of his relationship with Soleil, she really did make him happy. He found himself excited to see her, hear her voice or even touch and hold her. He hadn't felt the way he did about Soleil, since he was with Ximena.

He hoped that there were still hope for him and Soleil, he couldn't imagine not speaking to her again because of his baby mama. He didn't know if he would ever find someone else who brought him so much peace and joy like Soleil did.

Lei stood in front of the mirror, brushing her hair back into a ponytail. Keia laid across her bed, mindlessly scrolling on her phone. Lei had her sister on FaceTime, recounting last night's incident back to both girls. After she got home last night, she didn't speak to anyone, instead locked herself inside of her room.

"So, has Raj tried reaching out to you since?" Selah asked her, adjusting her phone on the phone stand in her car as she approached a stop light. Lei shrugged her shoulders, dipping her fingers into the hair gel, slicking down her edges.

"I don't know, I blocked him." she told them, Keia ripping her attention away from her phone with raised eyebrows as Selah did the same. "I know what y'all thinking, he didn't really do anything but y'all I'm fuckin' over this shit."

"Nah, I completely understand. He need to put his damn foot down for once, he act like he scared of that damn girl. She's using his son to control him and that shit ain't right, is she going to do this wit' every girl he dates?" Keia added her input, Selah humming in agreement.

"Right, she need to stop wit' that bitterness, it's not cute. You made a mistake, and owned up to it — even getting help. The way she acting you would swear that you abused their son or some shit. I could understand if she would rather Siraj be there whenever you're around Semaj, but to say that she doesn't want you around their son at all? Especially when Semaj loves you, is OD." Selah chimed in, adjusting her rearview mirror.

"That's the second time that I had to leave and he was crying, do you know how heartbreaking that shit is? She's hurting him in the process, and she's too damn blind to see that he doesn't feel threatened around me. And not even on no cocky shit, but he's probably more comfortable around me than most people in their life -- that shit is so unfair to him." Lei vented, grabbing her edge brush to slick down her baby hairs.

The situation was still weighing heavily on Lei's mind, just solely off of the fact that Semaj wouldn't be able to see her again. Yesterday when they spent time together, he talked to her about everything under the sun, Raj joked that whenever they were around each other, his presence didn't seem to matter to either one.

"See, that's fucked up man. Poor baby getting dragged in the middle of his parents bullshit, and all he wants is to be around his Lei Lei." Keia shook her head in disappointment. Lei pouted a little, a bit sad that she wouldn't be able to hear Semaj call her that anymore.

"So Soleil, is that it for you and Raj?" Selah questioned her, looking at the screen.

Lei profoundly sighed, twisting the top back onto the jar of hair gel, sitting it back on top of the shelf. "I don't want it to be, but there is no hope for our relationship as long as she's holding a grudge against me. Siraj loves his son and spends time wit' him every day, it's just too conflicting. I don't need the headache," she explained, grabbing her makeup bag.

"Xahir would not be happy right now," Selah said, causing Lei to let go of a laugh.

"Xahir would be telling me, I should've never pursued a relationship wit' his best friend because he knows how Ximena is and he was trying to protect me from the bullshit he knew that would unfold, and he would probably be telling Siraj he need to stop letting that girl walk all over him, he ain't gone ever have a damn love life if he lets it continue." Lei replied, imagining how her brother would be reacting to the situation if he were still there.

"Oh baby girl, you got him down to a T." Selah cracked up, as Lei half shrugged, smiling. "But no, you know he's going to show up there, what are you going to do then?"

"Right, that's one thing you can't do. He will not let you avoid him," Keia got up from the bed, stretching her upper body.

Lei grabbed her jar of moisturizer and dabbed a few spots on her face before rubbing it into her skin. "Well, I don't want to talk to him so he'll just have to respect my wishes."

Shortly afterwards, there was a knock on Lei's bedroom door. Keia opened the door, Joziah standing on the other side. "Hey boo, how was class?" Keia reached in to give him a hug.

"It was good, I gotta talk to y'all about something later on. Lei, Siraj downstairs for you." he pointed his thumb behind him, Lei silently cursed herself as she closed the jar of moisturizer.

"Selah, I'll call you back." She got up from her spot on the floor, her sister hummed before Lei hang up, tossing her phone on the bed. She walked out, leaving Keia and Joziah to talk in her bedroom.

As she walked down the stairs, Siraj stood at the front door, his hands tucked in the pocket of his hoodie. She could admit that he looked good standing there, too good that she was almost caved and started to run into his arms and kiss him.

She quickly pushed those thoughts out of her mind though as she reached the bottom step. She stood there, keeping a big gap of space between them. He started to step closer to her, until she spoke up. "Right there is fine," she quickly stopped him, not wanting him to be in her personal space.

He looked at her with raised eyebrows, taken aback. He scoffed a laugh, pulling his hands out of his pocket. "Please don't do this, Soleil." he sighed, scratching the side of his face. "I really want this to work between us."

"Well, it's not going to work, Siraj. As long as she's around, this isn't going to work. And I know you can't do anything about it, because she's the mother of your child but damn nigga, at this point, does she have control over you or something?" Lei tilted her head, crossing her arms over her chest, Siraj beginning to frown.

"What?"

"You heard me," she sized him, shifting her weight. "You kept saying how she doesn't want you to be happy, and she's always ruining your relationships — but Siraj, you're a grown ass man, she's only doing what you allow her to do. Every relationship that you've had didn't end because of you, it was because of her. You know Nadia said you were sweet? Sweetest guy she's ever met — and I agree wit' her. But be honest, your feelings for Ximena are still there, that's why it's easy for her to get inside your head." she started to read him, as he stood there with a baffled look on his face.

"She disrespected me on multiple occasions and you didn't once come to my defense, you probably said something after the fact but I digress. I saw the hesitation when she said it was either me or Semaj — of course, I didn't expect you to choose me because that's your son, I wouldn't even let you do that. But you didn't even put your foot down and told her she was going too far,"

"You know what you did instead? You looked at me like 'sorry, there's nothing I can do'," Lei laughed bitterly, shrugging as she clasped her hands together. "Do you know how much that shit hurts? To know that the person you want to be wit' doesn't even fuckin' fight for you? Come to your defense? Instead let you leave and walk out that door, didn't even attempt to try and make me stay."

Soleil could feel as her eyes burned with tears, she quickly blinked them away, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. "You're gonna grow old and alone, Siraj. And it's not going to be anyone's fault but yours." she stepped off of the last step, and walked towards the door. "It was good while it lasted, but I'm too young to be dealing wit' baby mama drama. You can go now."

She unlocked and opened the door, gesturing him out. Siraj turned around, and slowly started to make his way out of the front door. He looked at her, hurt filling his eyes, a discomfit expression on his face. However, he remained quiet as he walked out, her words like knives that were piercing his heart.

Joziah and Keia walked down the stairs as Lei shut the door behind him. She turned around, the corners of her eyes turning red as they started to well with tears.

"You okay?" Keia grimaced, approaching her. Lei forced a tight lipped smile on her face, nodding her head. She let out a shaky gasp, and immediately shook her head as tears started streaming down her face. Keia held her arms out for her, wrapping her up in a comforting embrace.

"It'll be okay, Lei." Joziah wrapped his arms around them, laying his head on top of hers. "You have to put yourself and your feelings first, it sucks but you're saving yourself from more heartache."

"Raji, my boy." Blue plopped down on the sofa next to him, a sandwich in one hand and a can of coke in the other. "You really done fucked up wit' this one."

Raj blew smoke from his nose, as he held a blunt in his hand. After Raj was done with his work and dropping Semaj off to Ximena, he decided to stop by Blue's house to unwind.

His mind was still heavy on Soleil, and he was still trying to process what happened earlier between them. To say that he was hurt would have been an understatement. Even though they weren't in a relationship, he felt like he had been broken up with.

A feeling that he was all too familiar with.

He hated that he had fucked up yet another relationship, only this time it was with his best friend's sister. He could only imagine what Xahir would say to him, if he were still alive.

He never meant for the situation to go as far as it did, he was hoping that Ximena would drop it eventually but she wasn't built like him. No matter how much convincing he tried, she would always see things her way.

He was tired.

Tired of the same repetitive cycle, his friends and family telling him the same thing each time that him and Ximena got into it. He was sure that they were growing tired of hearing about their problems anyways.

Especially when he wasn't doing anything to fix them.

"Man, I'm going through it." he mumbled, bringing the blunt to his lips again. He inhaled the smoke, holding it for a few seconds. "She ain't even let me get a word in,"

"Well shit, can you blame her? She had shit to get off her chest. The question is though, did you hear every word she spoke?" Blue raised an eyebrow, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"I did," Raj replied, leaning up to grab the ashtray and put out the blunt. He pushed the ashtray back onto the table before relaxing back into the sofa, folding his arms over his chest.

"Did you really, bruh?"

"I did man," he rolled his eyes, shifting his feet. "She just need space from me right now—"

Blue instantly shook his head, humming. "No bruh, she don't need no damn space. You give women space and that shit marinates in their minds, they end up standing firm on what they said. Talk to her, Siraj. Show her that you want it to work, that you not letting Ximena ruin this shit for you." he preached to him.

"I don't know man," Raj stretched his arms out in front of him as he yawned.

"See, there go you second guessing shit. This is exactly why she said what she said, yo' ass gone end up old and alone forreal." Blue teased him, reaching down to grab his can of coke soda.

Raj sucked his teeth and waved him off, "I'm not second guessing shit, it's just...when it comes to Soleil, she stubborn as hell. She'll avoid the hell out a muhfucka' for as long as she can. I'm surprised she was even home when I showed up," He said.

"If you really fuck wit' her like you say, you'd do anything to make this right. But if she still shows no interest in giving you another chance after you showed her you're serious about her," Blue paused, sitting his drink down again. "Then hey, at least you tried man."

"It's just, I don't want this shit to go bad because I made a promise to her brother, bruh. Wouldn't I be breaking that promise if we fall out?" Raj glanced over at him, Blue held a concentrated expression on his face as he finished the rest of his sandwich.

"Not really, because she's technically doing a lot better than before."