*puts on vaseline, laces up tennis shoes*

just in case y'all tryna fight by the end of the chapter. 🙂

Raj stood in front of the tombstone, his eyes reading over the engraved words. He let go of a deep sigh, looking down at his feet, he felt a placed hand on his back causing to glance over at his mom. Though she had on shades, he could see the visible tear streaks on her cheeks.

Arielle stood on the other side next to him, her arm linked around his as she rested her head on his shoulder. Emerie was knelt down, making sure that the flowers they had bought were neatly placed and appealing.

Today was the anniversary of Raj's father's death. Every year since his passing, his family got together to celebrate, remembering him as the family-oriented, loving man that he was.

Unfortunately this year, today would be different. Raj's family all had their own plans for today, meaning he would have to spend the day alone. As disappointed as he was, he understood that his family all had their own lives and businesses to take care of.

Though they weren't doing anything special, they made sure to come together and put fresh flowers down at the cemetery — something that was for sure a tradition.

"I miss him so much," Emerie sniffled, as she stood up straight and went to stand on the other side of her mother.

"Me too," Arielle dabbed away a few tears, with the back of her hand. Raj continued to stare down at his feet, clenching his jaw. He took a step back as well as his family, turning to walk back towards the car.

No one else spoke as they got settled into the car. This day had always been hard for Raj, though he accepted that his father was gone and never coming back, it still hurt to know he'd never have another conversation with him.

Death hadn't been an easy task to cope with for Raj, he didn't talk to anyone about his feelings, rather instead occupy his mind to avoid acknowledging any feelings or thoughts.

Shortly after his father died, Raj nearly worked himself to death so he wouldn't have to think of his father's permanent absence. During that time, Xahir had to sit Raj down and make him talk about how he was feeling. He couldn't stand to see his best friend hurting so much, to the point that he was willing to overwork himself.

Each year around the anniversary, Xahir made sure to keep a close on his best friend, as sometimes he would slip into a depression. Raj could admit that without Xahir, he would've went off the deep end years ago.

However, now that Xahir was gone as well, the anniversary was taking much more of a toll on him. As selfish as it sound, Raj wanted to be around Soleil for the day for the sole purpose of comfort she brought him.

But then again, family was a big thing for him and he understood her wanting to see her folks. He secretly hoped that they would be able to get together later on tonight, and would have a day and a half to spend.

Raj got into the driver's seat, starting up the engine as his family got settled in. The three women carried a conversation amongst themselves, but Raj was finding it too difficult to join in, still very much engrossed in his own intrusive thoughts.

"We have a family dinner tomorrow, if any of you guys aren't busy. You know, to kind of make up for today." Tasha said, glancing over at Raj and then back at her daughters, who were nodding in agreement.

"That's fine wit' me, it just wouldn't feel right to not do anything at all." Arielle said, checking her phone. "Besides, we haven't done anything together in awhile with the exception of my grand opening."

"Right," Emerie replied, letting down her window to feel the cool breeze outside.

Tasha looked over at Siraj again, taking note of his timid behavior. She gently placed a comforting hand on his forearm that rested on the middle console. "You okay?" she asked him, Raj peeked over at her, her dark brown eyes staring at him with concern.

"Not really," he mumbled, not really in the mood to discuss his feelings at the moment. Tasha grimaced, lightly squeezing his arm.

They continued to carry small conversation as Raj drove the fifteen minute route back to Tasha's house to drop them off. His bid a farewell to them before he drove another thirty minutes back to his place.

During his drive home, he called Ximena on FaceTime, wanting to speak to Semaj. Apart of him wanted her to drop him off, so that his son was able to distract him from the somberly mood that was desperately trying to overtake him. However, he knew Ximena didn't spend much time with Semaj during the day because of work and the weekends were for them to be together.

"Hey," Ximena answered.

Raj raised an eyebrow, briefly looking at the screen, hearing the noise of aggressive wind in the background as she appeared to be outside. "What's up? You out right now?" he questioned her, focusing back on the road.

"Yea' I'm running a few errands," she told him, quickly getting into the car. She ran her hand down her hair to smooth it out, after the wind had blow it out of place.

"Oh, where's Semaj?"

"I dropped him off at my mom's until I'm done, I didn't want him to be in the way." she explained, starting the engine.

"Oh..." Raj trailed off, turning on his left blinker to turn onto his street. "You know you could've dropped him off to me,"

"I know, but I figured you needed a break — especially since today is...you know. Plus my mom wanted to see him anyway, I'm pickin' him up once I'm done." Ximena said, backing out of the parking space of the Postal Office's parking lot.

"A'ight, well, have him FaceTime me later on before he go to sleep." Raj sighed, pulling into the parking garage of his apartment building.

"Okay,"

Without another word, Raj disconnected the call. He parked in his usual space and killed the engine before getting out. He hit the alarm on his key fob, locking the doors. As he walked towards the lobby, he checked his text messages, seeing that Lei had texted him back about an hour ago.

💕

my mama made some strawberry shortcake and im tryin not to be a fatass and eat it all from everyone 😩🥴 help me

Raj let out a chuckle, typing his response back.

lol stop being greedy ma

As Raj finally made it upstairs to his apartment, he received a FaceTime call from Lei. Without hesitation, he swiped his finger across to answer, waiting the few seconds until it connected.

"What's up beautiful?" he spoke, as her face appeared on the screen. She remained quiet for a minute, trying to hold back a smile before she looked to the right of her.

"Dang! Get out of my business!" She semi-yelled at someone, pushing them away from her. Raj furrowed his eyebrows and saw a familiar face trying to get into the camera.

"Is that Siraj?" Peanut, Lei's cousin asked. He grabbed the phone, putting the screen onto him. "What's up nigga!"

Raj laughed, bending down to grab his MacBook from off of the table where it was charging. "What's good bruh? How you been?" he asked him, sitting down on the couch.

"Shit, I been a'ight. Why you ain't coming over? You know you still like fam to us," Peanut said, as Lei starting poking the side of his face. He swatted her hand away, mugging her as he nudged her away. "Man move nigga, you always messing wit' somebody. Eggplant head ass girl."

"I know you ain't talkin' bout nobody head, when yo' shit shaped like a half eaten blow pop. How yo' head still going through puberty? Deflated balloon head ass." she clowned him, Raj silently laughed to himself, hearing loud obnoxious laughter in the background as well.

Lei snatched her phone out of Peanut's hand and bucked at him, before walking away. She was now sporting a huge grin on her face, "Anyways, hey love, what you doing?"

"You ain't shit, Soleil." he continued laughing, turning on the TV.

She gasped, staring at him with a shocked expression. "What you mean though! He started it!" she defended herself, laughing. "Don't clown nobody if you ain't tryna be clowned back, that's the rules!"

"Hurt that man feelings, all I could see was pain in his face. That's a sensitive topic for him," Raj joked, as she sucked her teeth, waving him off in a dismissive manner.

"Oh please, he know he got a small ass head. That's how he got his nickname," she walked up the stairs to speak to him private, and also be away from the loud noise of her family members. "You ain't answer my question though,"

"I just got home actually, I was at my moms house. I'm boutta edit these photos though, I ain't on shit today really." he told her, putting his hoodie over his head as he leaned back into the couch, waiting for his MacBook to power up.

"Oh okay,"

"Yea, what you got on today?"

Lei walked into her old bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She leaned the phone against the mirror that was attached to the dresser and took a step back, letting him look over her basic outfit.

"I look basic today," she said, holding her arms out, doing a 360 twirl. She wore a beige, graphic tee that once belong to Xahir with a pair of light denim jeans. Her real hair was neatly slicked down in two buns on each side. Though she was bare faced, her lips were coated with lip gloss.

"Yet you still look pretty," Raj complimented her, as she smiled, grabbing the phone off of the dresser. "You don't wear your real hair out much,"

"Hell nah, I hate it. Humidity is the worst, and I don't be having the patience to keep messing wit' my hair. I'm getting it done Monday after I leave campus," she explained, plopping down on the bed.

"Hm, are you going to Blue's party? The house he rented for the night big as shit, I think they decorated it to be like a haunted house too." Raj asked her, referring to the birthday party that Blue was throwing. His birthday fell on Halloween and he had asked everyone to show up in costumes. "I told him I'ma slide by after Mena and I take Maj trick or treating."

"Yes sir, I already got my boy a gift. I'm not gone be staying too late though, I got exams this week unfortunately." Lei said, deeply sighing at the last part.

"Aw okay, how you feeling about that?"

"Eh, I been studying my ass off so I just hope it pays off." she stressed, hearing a knock at the door. She got up from the bed and opened the door, seeing one of her cousins standing in the hallway.

"Poppy downstairs looking for you," her cousin, Deion notified her, referring to their grandfather.

"Okay — Raj, I'ma call you later." Lei told her, shutting the door behind her as she stepped into the hallway, and headed down the stairs.

"A'ight, talk to you later ma." he said before they hang up.

Lei started to slip her phone into her back pocket, until she checked the battery, remembering that it was low. She quickly turned around and headed towards her parents room, wanting to put her phone on the charger for the time being.

Once she was done, she jogged down the stairs, hearing Poppy's voice coming from the kitchen, along with her aunts and uncles. "Poppy!" Lei exclaimed, walking into the kitchen with a huge smile.

"There go my grand-baby," Poppy turned around, holding his arms out for her. His favorite cologne engulfing her as he wrapped her up in a big hug. "How you doing baby?"

"I'm good, I missed you." Lei continued smiling, she hadn't seen her folks from her dad side since Xahir's funeral. It was tradition for her folks to celebrate her aunt's birthday every year, either by driving up to Alabama or her folks driving down to Florida.

This year they decided to drive down to Florida, as they were looking to go to the Hardrock casino. They were planning on returning to the casino once again tonight, and Lei was still contemplating if she wanted to go, simply because she haven't had any food from there in a while.

Her cousins were staying behind, and since she hadn't seen them in a minute, she wanted to get into shenanigans with them while the older folks were away for the night.

"Aw I missed you too, ladybug." he tightly squeezed her, calling her by her nickname that his side of the family had given her. "How's school going?"

"School is...it's going." Lei chuckled, looking up at him as he nodded his head. "But we not gone talk about me right now, what's been going on wit' you? Hm? Cause you said you was gone be keeping an eye out on your health, Poppy."

She pulled away, putting one hand on her hip as she cut her eyes at him. She heard her mom and her aunts laugh, as they sat at the table drinking wine.

"Oh baby, it wasn't nothing serious. They can't take a brotha' out the game just yet. Don't worry I been taking my meds," he assured her, sporting a toothy grin.

"Mhm, what's not serious to you is serious to me. I need you around so you can see me graduate!" Lei pointed her finger at him, giving him a stern look.

"And that I will! The grim reaper just gone have to wait," he joked, Lei's mouth falling agape as her mom and aunts started bickering at him.

"Now daddy you better stop talkin' like that!"

Lei started giggling, as Poppy held his hands out in a confused gesture.

Hours later, Raj was lazily laid back onto the couch, a nearly empty bottle of liquor sitting on the table in front of him. What started off just as a shot, turned into something a little more risky.

He now regretting his decision to drown his sorrows out with alcohol, his emotions were hitting him like a ton of bricks. He was overwhelmed with the emotion of sadness, from it being the anniversary of his father's death to still processing Xahir's.

It was bad.

Having kept his emotions to himself for the past couple of months, was taking a heavy toll on his mental. He couldn't control the intrusive thoughts that were floating around in his mind.

He needed someone to take his mind off of his pain — but the person he wanted to talk to wasn't answering. As clingy as it sounded, he tried calling her four times but each time he received her voicemail.

He tossed his phone to the side of him, running his hands down his face. Blankly staring at the TV that was playing on low volume, he grabbed his phone again and stood up, almost stumbling over.

He steady his balance and stumbled towards the kitchen, cutting the light on. He leaned against the counter, throwing his head back. He groaned noisily, before unlocking his phone again.

He went to his contacts and tapped on the FaceTime icon. He leaned forward onto the counter, propping the phone up.

"What are you doing?" He spoke once the call connected.

"Just left my homegirl house, I'm bout to turn in for the night, what you on?"

"Can you come over? Please..." he trailed off, rubbing his eyes.

"Are you drunk?" she tilted her head, watching him closely. He licked over his lips, furrowing his eyebrows before he slowly nodded his head. "You think that's a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" he rolled his eyes, hearing as she scoffed a laugh.

"Because you're drunk, Siraj. Any time that happens, I know what type of time you be on and vice versa."

Raj sucked his teeth and sighed, standing up straight. "I just need company ri-right now, I-I don't think it's best for me to be a-alone." he started slurring his words, slightly rocking back and forth as he tried to keep his balance once again.

There was a brief silence, until Raj spoke again. "Never—" he started to say until he was interrupted.

"Okay, I'll be there in fifteen."

Without another word, Raj hang up the phone, sliding it onto the counter. He shuffled over to the living room, grabbing the bottle of the table, throwing back the rest of the liquor as he stumbled towards his room until then.

Lei stared at the text messages in confusion once again, as she waited on the elevator. Last night she had received a flurry of messages and calls from Siraj, unfortunately she completely forgotten about her phone up until late in the morning.

She tried calling him back after she saw that he tried reaching out, but to no avail, she wasn't getting a response from him. It had rain and she was unable to return home like she planned, her mom having to drop her off in the morning.

Though, before she could do so, she asked her mom to take her by Raj's place so she could check on him. She was worried, and reached the conclusion that he was drunk last night. However, she was still in the dark about what had him so upset last night, as he didn't specify in any of the text messages he sent.

Lei stepped off of the elevator and headed down the hall towards Raj's apartment, she locked her phone and slid it into the pocket of her hoodie. She reached his door and started to knock, waiting a few minutes.

Raj awoke, hearing the loud knocking on the front door of his apartment. Sunlight was now beaming into his room, causing him to gaze around in confusion. He hadn't even realized he passed out last night.

He slowly sat up in the bed, feeling the pounding sensation of a headache coming on from being hangover. He stumbled out of her bed, and quickly rushed to the front door, swinging it open as he now slightly annoyed from the loud knocking — his annoyance now turning into puzzlement, seeing that it was Soleil on the other side.

"Soleil?" Raj rubbed his eyes, still trying to wake himself up.

Lei watched him closely, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "You straight? I just came to check on you, you called me a few times last night but I wasn't able to get to my phone." She said, watching him shift around uncomfortably.

He opened the door wider for her to step in, she did so but didn't take her eyes off of him. She gently grabbed his face, tilting her head. "Hey? Look at me, you okay?" She continued questioning him.

"Yea' I-I just don't remember what the hell happened last night." he told her, his hand resting on his head as his headache was growing worse. "Fuck, my head hurt."

Lei grabbed his hand and led him back to the bedroom, as they walked in, Raj sat down on the bed, both of his hands now placed on his head.

"How'd you get here?" he asked, briefly looking up at her. Lei paused as she stood on the side of his bed to grab the Tylenol resting on the nightstand.