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We're headed to Raina's therapy session. Raina's in the front seat and Mikes in the back scrolling through his phone. It's been a quiet drive. Mike said we were good but it's obvious we're not and nowhere near it.

Raina sat hunched over with her arms folded, and her head resting on her lap. I rubbed her back with my freehand. I know she's dreading this.

"It's going to be ok we'll be right there, ok?" I spoke softly.

She nodded. I saw Mike through the mirror staring at my gesture. He put his phone in his pocket and turned to look out the window with no expression.

Raina said she's still wanting to do her play today. She missed some rehearsals and fittings. Her instructor understood if she couldn't do it, but Raina being Raina will not let what she's going through stop her.

We pulled up to Dr. Elise Mills office, I began to get nervous myself. I parked and we got out heading into the building.

Raina checked in with the receptionist, she notified Dr. Mills. Then shortly after Dr. mills came out and greeted us. We all followed to her office.

"Hi Raina." She said smiling gesturing her to sit. She sat and also said hi.

"Hi Mr. Jackson good to see you." She reached her hand out for him. He shook it.

"Good to see you too Dr. Mills ."

"You're — Adrian correct, nice to see you again as well." She shook my hand before gesturing for us to sit and we did.

"Thank you." I replied.

Mike and I shared the sofa beside the chair Raina was sitting in. Dr Mills chair was across both chairs. It looked almost like we were sitting in a circle.

"Well, Raina I know we discussed our plan for this session last visit. Which was to talk about some of those deep rooted issues you're still dealing with today." She smiled warmly, Raina nodded.

"You guys are here for moral support, Raina's a big girl. No interrupting the process, she has to get it out." She made it clear to Mike and I.

We nodded. I sat back getting myself comfortable, smoothing my hand over the arm of the sofa.

"So I'm going to dive right in. Raina lets talk about the Nelsons again."

Rai looked down at her lap then nervously looked out of the near window.

"If you're not able to today, that's ok." She leaned in closer to Rai.

"What do you want me to say about them?" She spoke above a whisper, bringing her attention to Dr. Mills.

"How was your stay?" Dr. Mills clicked her pen while holding her pad.

I looked on studying Rai's body language. Debating if I should go over and comfort her. I know she needed this and this was part of the process, but damn.

"It was horrible, embarrassing. They ruined me. What do you want me to say?"

I noticed one of Mikes legs was now bouncing rapidly. Dr. Mills waited for her to proceed.

"I was basically their slave in a way. They had a fetish. Me being a young black girl was it. So that's the way they raised me."

"What do you mean a slave, give me some examples?"

"Well from the first day I was in their home they set the tone with their rules."

"Like?"

"They controlled everything. What I ate and how much. What I said and what I wore. Everything had to go through them. The way I cleaned, everything."

"How old were you?"

"I was seven turning eight in a week when I moved in with them."

"Why did they control what you ate?"

She started biting on her lip staring at the table in the middle of us. She was a blink away from tears rolling down her face. "They would always say black girls naturally have big bottoms and full lips but they're stomach should always be flat."

"How did that make you feel?"

She shook her head, she could no longer hold the tears. I instinctively stood up and went over to her couch to sit beside her. I held on to her hand caressing my thumb across the top. Dr. Mills handed her a box of tissues.

"It makes me feel like I'm never enough. It shattered my self esteem, at that early age." She grabbed two tissues out of the box.

"Yeah and that's something you carry with you still today." Dr. Mills stated and Raina nodded.

"What were some of the things they would ask you to do?"

Raina inhaled and then exhaled, her eyes were still focused on the table. "You mean sexual things?"

"Sure." Dr. Mills nodded.

Mike shifted in his seat. I continued caressing her hand, still trying to give her some space to do this on her own.

Raina glanced at Mike. "I was eight when it started. Which was after my second week I was placed there. It started out with them kissing me on my mouth. I didn't think it was weird because I assumed that was something they did."

She stared down at the table again. "Then after maybe two weeks later they would suggest what I'd wear and have me try on different clothes in front of them."

"After that they would keep coming to me with something different." She added.

Dr. Mills nodded.

"One night Mrs. Nelson came into my room naked. She asked if she could sleep in the room with me. I asked where were her clothes. She said she didn't like to sleep in them. I was hesitant, but I didn't want her to be upset. I didn't want either of them to be mad at me, because at that point it all seemed weird."

"So she got in the bed with me and that's when it started to escalate."

"Keep going Raina."

"She taught me how to please her, touching her private area. I knew it was wrong, I wanted to say something. —I just let it go on." She had a look of embarrassment on her face.

"It was just the two of us for a little while and then sometimes Mr. Nelson would watch. He started easing his way in with us. He would ask me to touch him. Sometimes they would have sex in front of me."

"Perhaps that was their way of trying to teach me." She added while shaking her head.

"What else would they make you do?"

At this point I was pissed. I now understand why Mike's the way he is with her. This is so fucking sick.

"They would make me do things to do them." She paused pulling her hand away from mine. "Like put my mouth on his-"

She pointed down to the private area.

I dropped my head and roughly breathed out.

"He would put his penis in my mouth. You know the oral stuff like that." She rephrased, she was now visibly shaking.

"That was basically the start of a road filled with painful memories. It was an everyday thing. I felt like I couldn't say anything, because they were super nice to me. I didn't want to cause any problems. Then the night I was raped when I was ten—"

"Ok Raina I'm going to stop you right there. —This is really great. That's enough for today, good job." Dr. Mills praised. "How are you feeling right now? Take a deep breath, in and then out."

She took a deep breath and released it slowly. "Like I want to just disappear, embarrassed, exposed, like a victim. I feel like I came here for a new start, leaving South Carolina behind. I've learned it doesn't work like that."

"Raina I want to leave you with a little homework to report back to me next visit, ok?"

"Ok." She nodded.

"Take these index cards, I have written one word on each card. I want you to describe on the back how well it relates to you. It can be related to anything."

"Also don't leave here with all those thoughts jumbled up in your mind. Just leave what was said here and we'll pick back up in a few days."

Rai nodded again.

"Be proud of what you've accomplish today. You've never spoken about your past this openly around others. This is progress." Dr. Mills added.

"Thank you." Rai smiled a little. I tried making eye contact with her but she wouldn't look at me.

Mike ran out to the nearest restroom holding his mouth.

We said our goodbyes to Dr. Mills. I grabbed Raina's hand and walked out into the lobby. I'm not going to let her push me away.

"Come here babe?" I pulled Raina in my arms and held her tight as we stood in the front office.

"I'm proud of you, you've been through so much and for you to even speak on it means a lot."

"Thank you." She replied dryly clamming up. She pulled away from me.

"I'm all in Rai. I love you so much." I caressed her face, Smoothing my thumb across her cheek. I leaned in and planted soft kisses on her lips. "Don't you ever forget that."

She looked up staring in my eyes about to tear up again. "I love you too."

Mike came out of the restroom. "Hey Rai, how are you feeling?"

"I'm ok." She spoke sheepishly.

Mike knows how much his words and what he think means to her.

"Come here." They hugged and as soon as she got in his arms she broke down.

"You ain't got shit to be embarrassed about." He paused continuing their embrace. "Just like you said, they did this to you. —There's no need in holding all that in either. So this was good, Rai."

"I'm proud of you, you are the strongest most bravest person I know. You hear me?" He asked breaking their hug to look her in the eyes.

She nodded. They hugged each other again before we headed out.

The ride back was quiet. We got back to the house I went inside with Raina, Mike went upstairs to freshen up. She seemed a little more at ease the moment we stepped in the door.

"I got something for you, it's at my house. I'll show you after the play."

"You did?" She smirked.

"Yup." I laughed a little at her cute expression.

"What is it?"

"You'll see later."

"Give me a hint." She whined.

"Nope."

"Then you should've just surprised me altogether and not told me about it." She said walking in to the kitchen, I followed.

"Yeah I guess you're right.— I'm still not telling you though." I laughed.

"Ugh. —Are your parents coming to the show?" She asked while taking a seat at the island and I sat beside her.

"They said they were."

"Ok, now I'm nervous, —you want something to drink? I can make you something to eat." She looked at me smiling.

I shook my head "No I'm good baby, and don't be nervous. You know my parents love you. They're proud of you."

"What do they think about us?"

"They're just more concerned about the outcome if something were to happen. Mainly the age gap." I answered.

"Well I think Mikes taking it really well considering. I feel like it could be worse."

"I don't know about that Munch." I sighed.

"What do you mean? Things may be still tense between you two but it could be worse."

I rubbed my hand on the corner of the table. "I lost my best friend, I betrayed him. I didn't even know the severity of why he was always so paranoid about you."

She turned to me and grabbed my hands.

"I hate that things are this way. I think with time things between you two could get better." She took a breath. "With Mikey you have to prove to him we are good for each other."

"You're right, but let's not talk about that right now. —You have everything ready for tonight? You need to go over anything? What time do you have to be there?"

She searched my face, deciding to leave it alone. "We're doing a dress rehearsal on some of my scenes since I missed it yesterday. I have to be there four hours before the show. They're doing sound, prop and light check then too. You know me being the director and all, I have to make sure everything is set to run smoothly."

"You got this Munch." I pecked her lips a few times. Which turned into a full blown slow kiss. I can't get enough of her soft lips. I held on to her bottom lip nibbling on it before releasing it. A moan slipped from her lips, she leaned her head to the side opening her mouth.

Mike came in clearing his throat, staring at me like he wanted to end me.

I pulled away from her. "Sorry."

He didn't need to say anything, his face said it all.

"You need to go ahead and get ready Rai. Don't wait until the last minute." He spoke sternly.

"Ok." She looked at me. "I'll call you."

I nodded. She got up and walked out leaving me alone with Mike.

Mike went to grab a water out of the fridge and sat at the far end of the island from where I was seated. I was about to get up and leave but something in me wouldn't let me.

Both of us sat in silence. He finished his water then recycled it. Soon after he left out.

I sat for another minute just taking in the state of our friendship. I never meant for things to be like this. I imagine putting myself in his shoes, and I know I would hate me. I went behind his back, I just hope things could get better. I also realized this is the first time I'll be leaving Rai since everything happened.

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