Last night someone told me to gaze at the stars and I did it. I stared blankly immensely missing your fragrance on my neck, you smelled like vanilla, even after all your day long at work you'd hold my hand and create criss-cross patterns at the sky and roughly sketch them on a sheet and would exclaim "our constellation" I Wish I would tell you how you crossed them wrong but it was too late enough for evil to befall on us.

That early morning with a slight tilt against the window pane remembering how a stranger a stranger told me his theory about the dew drops being glassy tears of pain we'd given nature he claimed. I asked him then what about the rain? I saw slight emptiness and before he could tell me about it, he had to leave at his stop, since then my heart rumbles and click pauses to think of it again... It feels the same of how that very morning you left a note between the edges in between my safely tucked pink diary "I'm sorry we can't be together any longer" That early morning was a puzzle to me as a whole I wonder if I'd say the same had I not got up early that day

Last summer while my grandma quietly baked cakes, I explained to her how cakes turned fluffly due to the formation of carbon dioxide, she weakly smiled with a face of no understanding untill I hadn't realised she mumbled if I'd learn I would understand anyway but your words were beautiful dear. Just like I tried to fill the voids of silence so did you. Just like you would flip carelessly through the stained pages of my poetry and say I don't really know the depth of these words, of how many lives you've learned through those but I love them anyway. Alas you'd appreciated my art of metaphors but you'd always complain about my slightly out of proportion curves. i should've known you anyway

Last year at the spring fair, that happens on every alternate year where love blossoms thick in air I told you how I met a young girl around seventeen and how we were both lonely yet giving each other company but she said we weren't lonely we just wanted to soak into the crowd of what people had to say because being a loner equalised to insane. She looked through me and asked how could someone break a broken heart? Or how the wind chased into nothingness or how her inhheritance lead her skin brown. How meaningless conversations wove us into friends; which made me realise how trash talking lead us together in life? You and me bounded on something that was not on grounds? So how was I suppose to believe that what we held in between you and me wasn't true and just another town's trash talk eh?

But can you answer me for once

What was that you were afraid of the stars or the scars?

~A