Annabelle

It's been three days since I talked to Tyler, but it has felt like a lifetime. I've gotten so used to him in such a short amount of time, that I'm pretty sure I've been going through some sort of withdrawal. I feel completely silly about this, but nothing is right anymore. I'm not really hungry, nor do I sleep well. According to my family and friends I continuously zone out and apparently I haven't been paying much attention to anything either.

Maybe I'm getting sick.

Or maybe I just feel really crappy and guilty about the way I handled things.

After Tyler dropped that bomb on me that he'd actually seen me at the cliffs, I kind of lost it. I went into full-on panic mode. I'm still not even sure why.

I had let down all of my shields so quickly with this stranger, because there was this false sense of security and anonymity behind our conversations. It had felt like a safe zone, where he couldn't see me and I couldn't see him. Now that was gone.

Realizing how much I liked him already after such a short time, paired with the fact that he knew what I looked like, scared me. Logically you'd think that it would make me feel better and reassure me, since he seems to like the way I look. For some reason though it just did the opposite to me.

Now it is nearing 10pm, and I'm sitting here staring at the text message he sent me the day after I'd hung up on him.

I totally understand if you need some time to process everything. I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away. I just thought you wouldn't agree to our arrangement if you'd known. Please forgive me, Anna. I don't want this to end.

I swallow loudly as I re-read the message several times, just like I've done the first hundred times since I received it.

I'm not sure what the right thing to do is. This feels like it has heartbreak written all over it. When I look at all of this realistically, there is no way that Tyler and I could ever work out. I mean, I am in my last year of highschool, and he is traveling across the country right now with a famous singer.

A world tour will probably be next on their agenda. I don't think I can get out of this unscathed, especially if my feelings for him keep growing over the next two weeks of talking to him.

Before I can really comprehend what I'm doing I push the call button over Tyler's name and wait nervously for him to answer. With every ring my heart starts beating faster, and I can't help wanting to apologize to it. I'm not sure in what condition my poor organ will be once this all ends, but the chances don't look too rosy right now.

"Thank goodness you're calling, Anna. I was ready to fly across the country and find you." He sounds out of breath, like he just ran a mile to get to the phone. My heart thumps an extra beat at the sound of his voice, and the butterflies are having a gigantic party in my belly.

"Now why would you do such a silly thing?" My eyes widen at his comment. Somehow I have a feeling that he actually isn't kidding.

"Because I've missed you, that's why. And because I feel terrible too. I really am sorry, Anna." The words tumble out of his mouth in one long breath.

"Stop apologizing already. I'm the one who should be doing it anyways. I lost my nerve a little bit and overreacted. I'm sorry. I should have called a lot earlier, but I wasn't completely sure if you still wanted to talk to me or not." I am glad the words are out, even though I also feel vulnerable at the moment.

"Now who's silly? You have nothing to apologize for. And anyways, I'll always want to talk to you. I've told you that life has been a lot more fun with you around. I know it sounds super cheesy, but you've been like my own personal ray of sunshine."

I'm rendered speechless for a moment. Was this guy for real? Almost everything he says is perfect, and everyone knows nothing and no one is ever perfect.

Maybe he has a crooked nose or two left feet, my mind volunteers.

"That's very sweet of you to say, thank you. I'll try and behave better from now on." I try to keep my voice as even as possible, pushing all of my emotions away.

"No more freaking out and ignoring me?" He sounds hopeful, which makes me feel guilty again.

"No more freaking out. Promise." I repeat as if it is my new mantra.

"Perfect." He pauses for a moment and sighs in frustration. "Listen Anna, I'm so sorry, but I'll have to cut it short again today. I really wish I didn't, but there is this work thing for the next couple nights that the manager added after the shows, and I have to be there. I actually snuck out when you called."

"Don't worry about it. I don't want you to get into trouble because of me. Just text me whenever you can." I'm a little sad at the prospect of not hearing his voice again for another two days, but I can't blame Tyler for that either.

"Thank you. Once we're done with those next two concerts, we'll be heading further west, so at least I'll be an hour closer to you again. That will make things easier."

"Sounds great, Tyler. Now get out there before they come looking for you. We'll talk tomorrow. You don't want to lose your job." That would definitely be the last thing I'd want to be responsible for.

"Ha." His sudden laughter is so unexpected, that it takes a moment for my own smile to emerge in response. "Not possible, Anna. But thanks for worrying about me, that's very sweet of you."

"Sure thing, now go."

"Ok, ok." He's still laughing, and I realize that it has become one of my favorite sounds over the last week. "We'll text tomorrow then?" I'm not surprised that he's asking instead of telling me.

"Yes, absolutely. Have a good night, Tyler."

"You too, Anna. Sweet dreams."

For the first time in three days, I think I might actually be able to get a good sleep.

❤❤❤