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"I knew I had to be careful. I had to keep my distance. If she knew how much I still cared, it was all over. I wouldn't be able to walk away again. The first time was hard enough"

~Conrad Fisher, We'll Always Have Summer (by Jenny Han)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To him, her happiness mattered more than anything. His day would completely turn upside down the moment he saw her smile, even if she was joking with another person in front of him.

Every time he saw her touch, comfort, or hug anyone, he would wish she was touching him, he would wish she was comforting him, he would wish she was hugging him.

He loved her more than anything, and he still did, but that last thing he'd ever do is tell her that, because it would make her have hope for them again, and the last thing he wanted in the world was to hurt her.

So, he let her go.

It killed him, but he let her go.

Because he would rather see her happy and in love with someone else than see her hurt by him.

Because he felt like a demon, or the devil, he felt like everything he touched would be destroyed afterwards.

He knew he had hurt her.

Hell, he even knew that nobody in her life had ever hurt her the way he did.

But that was nothing compared to what he could do to her if they stayed together.

Around people, he acted cheerful, he acted as if nothing was wrong, when in reality he was dying on the inside.

He spent days around her, wishing she has his again, wishing that everything would just go back to normal.

He really really missed her I love yous, he missed the arguments they used to have about whos hotter, he missed joining FaceTime calls with her, he missed her laughing around him, he missed her trying to hide her smile whenever he texted her in public. He missed telling her I love you, he missed her smile when he said it. He missed her comforting words and touches.

He had gone through every type of pain imaginable before, family issues, bad grades, feeling like he wasn't enough, you name it, he had gone through it.

But that was nothing compared to what he felt at the moment.

He thought he knew pain before, but he didn't.

No pain was like the pain of letting her go, no pain was like making her believe that he didn't care about her, when he loved her more than anything.

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