January 1, 20XX

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Bro, you wouldn't believe what happened! I can't even believe what happened that's why I'm writing it down to check if I'm still sane because I can't tell this to anyone else.

Okay, here it goes....

LUO BINGHE APPEARED IN FRONT OF ME! Like "POOF!", here you go, one Luo Binghe with a dash of "Who-are-you-where's-my-Shizun-I'm-going-to-kill-you" attitude.

So it was New Year's Eve, okay? I was standing by my balcony, minding my own business, drinking cans of beer because I have no one to celebrate it with since all my family members have their own celebrations somewhere fancy, and I don't really like fancy parties. Mom and Dad are somewhere in Hawaii, I think? My brothers have their own families to celebrate with and my sister is with her boyfriend in USA. The usual.

And I got a liiiitttllee bit drunk that I started talking to myself about stuff, and end up remembering that stupid ending of Resentment of Chunsan.

I thought I wouldn't hate any writer more than Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky (godbless his soul, wherever he may be, I don't want his ghost to haunt me), but little Miss Lewd Minion! WHY???? Papapa then death? Suicide? THE FUCK, WHAT DID LUO BINGHE EVER DO TO THESE AUTHORS????

So when the countdown is finished and everyone's shouting 'HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!' and stuff, I saw a shooting star and yelled "OH SHOOTING STAR! I WISH LUO BINGHE IS REAL SO I CAN PROTECT THE SMOL BOI AND NO STUPID WRITERS WILL HURT HIM ANYMORE!!!"

I told you, I was drunk, okay?! Fuck, I hope no one reads this.

So yeah, it came true. He was asking me many questions at the same time while threatening to burn me to dust if I don't answer immediately and I'm down on the ground stuttering and rubbing my eyes to see if there was no drugs added to my beer. HOLLLLLLYYYY SHIIIITTTT!!!

He later learned he didn't have powers anymore but he's still super strong and punched a hole on my wall big enough for someone to pass through and then jumped from rooftop to rooftop on ancient Chinese garb trying to find his Shizun.

Right now, I'm at the police station filing a missing person report for a guy in ancient Chinese garb jumping from rooftops to rooftops yelling 'Shizun'.

Man, Luo Binghe became real! This is so cool!

April 1, 20XX

THIS IS NOT COOL!

I haven't written for the past three months because I have filed 14 missing person cases for a CERTAIN SOMEONE, got 33 death threats and near-death experience from a CERTAIN SOMEONE, and stopped a CERTAIN SOMEONE from destroying half of China!

Guess who that certain someone is?

Ding Ding Ding! Ladies and gentlemen, it's Luo Binghe!!!

So yeah I've spent 3 months chasing and tracking down Luo Binghe, then chasing him again when he runs away after threatening to kill me when I try to explain everything. He just wouldn't believe me and keep looking for Shen Qingqiu!

So my only choice for him to believe me is to bring him to the fan convention and introduce him to Lewd Minion, the writer of the BL world he came from.

The problem is... the fans immediately attacked us with their squeals and fangirling thinking he was a Luo Binghe cosplayer.

He's the most accurate Luo Binghe cosplayer in the world, girls.

They took him in front of a tribute for him and Shen Qingqiu. It's like an altar with their character art in a huge frame filled with flowers and letters. They asked him to make a speech 'in-character' and nobody expected what they got.

A loud, bloodcurdling shout of "SHIZZZUUUUUNNN!!!". Luo Binghe fell on his knees with tears streaming down his face.

It was the first time I saw Luo Binghe cry.

And it broke my heart.

Anyone who heard it would. It was extremely painful. I asked everyone to leave us alone and give us some space.

Luo Binghe just cried and cried in front of the tribute like it was Shen Qingqiu's tomb. It might as well have. He cried his heart out, and all I can do is watch him from a distance.

When I thought he was about to be finished, I gently laid a hand on his shoulder. It was scalding hot.

He collapsed on my arms. Shit, he have a very high fever! He probably haven't eaten or slept properly for months even!

I contemplated bringing him to the hospital, but it'll be too complicated because his files doesn't exist. I contacted our personal physician and just said he's a friend of mine.

It's already a miracle that all he had was high fever. I'm currently taking care of him on my guest bedroom where he's still unconscious and connected to a dextrose. I don't know how he will be when he wakes up.

Meanwhile, I'm trying my best to find a way to bring him back to Resentment of Chunsan. I did some research as well for the meteor I saw New Year, but it's just a normal meteor. There's nothing special. It's just a rock flying through the sky.

Lewd Minion have no idea also, and she was really surprised when she learned it was really Luo Binghe. She did say she was planning a transmigration plot for the BL, but figured it was too complicated so she scrapped it and just gave Shen Qingqiu a kind heart.

Ugggh, what am I going to do? I'm still going to try my fucking hardest. For Luo Binghe.

July 04, 20XX

Still no progress. I just came from my trip to Mongolia to meet with a monk and he doesn't have any idea either.

My parents are getting suspicious. They always pay for my monthly bills and it worries them that I'm spending thousands every month for trips to other countries, tissues, and truckloads of ice cream.

Ever since Luo Binghe woke up, all he do is cry 24/7. At least he's eating now and listening to me, so he's slowly understanding the real world and his situation. But if I mention anything remotely related to Shen Qingqiu, he would bawl his eyes out and I can't stop him no matter what I do.

You know when first time moms cry along with their babies when they don't know what to do to make them stop? Yeah, that's what happens to me whenever Luo Binghe sheds a tear and I can't stop them from falling.

UGGGGHHH, SHIZUN! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DIE AND LEAVE THIS POOR BOY??? Now were both suffering and crying rivers for you everyday!

My days consist of constant jetlag, feeding Luo Binghe, cleaning his room, finding xianxia movies and books for him to keep him occupied whenever I leave home. Then I would tuck him to bed with a copy of Resentment of Chunsan and another box of tissues.

In a matter of six months I have become a full-time mom of a grown-ass golden-fingered protagonist on his moving on stage.

August 17, 20XX

Something weird happened.

I remember I must have fallen asleep on Luo Binghe's bedroom floor because of fatigue. I'm so tired, I felt like I haven't eaten or slept for years and I have turned into a slave zombie. My eyebags have eyebags and I can now see my ribs.

But I endured everything because at the end of the day, I see Luo Binghe's peaceful sleeping face. It's so unfair. Here I am looking like an ugly corpse while he's still damn handsome after all that crying and crying and crying. Must be nice to be a picture-perfect protagonist.

I still have no progress and it's starting to look impossible. I'm dead set on this but my body can't take it. So while sweeping off the tissues from the floor, I must dropped out cold.

But then I woke up on my own bedroom, tucked in with blankets, the smell of some soup wafting from the kitchen. Luo Binghe is cooking!

He avoided my gaze immediately when I came and offered the bowl of soup to me. I was so hungry and my bones are jelly so I didn't say anything an ate it.

It tasted heavenly! This must be food of the gods, bro!

While I was busy eating he suddenly said "Don't die."

And I'm like "What? I'm not dying."

He wasn't crying as usual first thing in the morning and said he's going for a walk. He's on modern clothes now which he borrowed from me so I'm not worried people will be weirded out by him, but I don't know what this was all about so I hesitated to let him first.

He gave me this resolute stare so I ended up letting him. He didn't come back for a week.

I was so scared.

I panicked and thought that maybe he... you know. He did so before, he can do it again, if he thinks there's no hope of going back to Shen Qingqiu. His whole life depends on Shen Qingqiu, the readers know that more than anyone.

Thankfully, that wasn't the case, and I almost fell on my knees too when I finally saw him at the tribute, besides the two books of Proud Immortal Demon Way and Resentment of Chunsan. He seems to be reading out loud in front of the altar-like tribute. He turned to me when he closed the book and finished reading.

"I've been thinking these past few days. About a lot of things." He said. "Somehow, I felt more like myself in this world, like I'm more in control of my thoughts and feelings. I felt... free."

"I'm not a protagonist. I have grown through the years but deep in side I'm still a kid. A clingy kid who needed Shizun. I love him, so much, but the difference between Shizun and I is that he is mature while I'm not. I'm selfish. He's the one who keeps on sacrificing for me. My affection towards him is unhealthy and bordering to obsession."

"I've learned so many things in this world. It helped me... grow...somehow. I realized that if I wasn't sent here, I would have continued being the selfish child and never change. I'll never be my own person and still rely on Shizun."

"I miss him." He stared at the tribute longingly, but there was a ray of hope in his eyes. "But no matter where he is, he would have wanted me to move on, wouldn't he?"

I remember everything he said precisely, word for word, because it struck a chord in me.

"I... don't know." Was all I can answer. "I really don't know, but... he must have been proud of how much you've grown."

He smiled at me and said, "I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you."

It was the first time I saw him smile.

He have a very beautiful smile.

I was so dazed that I said it out loud and he chuckled. Luo Binghe laughed... softly, gently. He told me "What kind of response is that?" and told me I was weird.

But he really do have a beautiful smile. Or maybe I'm just weird. Who knows?

All I know is... I'd like to see him smile more often. And I guess he will from now on.