Shen Qingqiu was so happy his heart fluttered, holding Luo Binghe in his arms again like this.

He really was worried for a long time. Worried that somehow, Luo Binghe's golden finger didn't work, that he'll never see him again, and that the system was broken. But all was well in the end and the system must have fixed it. The others would like to investigate what caused Luo Binghe's resurrection, but all Shen Qinqiu could think about now is that he really missed the clingy disciple.

I have to make it up to you somehow. He thought while making congee for the sleeping one's breaksfast. Luo Binghe slept for the whole afternoon up until tomorrow morning, for 18 hours, while his Shizun can't even blink for a second without fearing that he'll disappear again. Ming Fan convinced him to get up and let go of Luo Binghe for a while for breakfast, but instead of eating on his own he decided to cook for his disciple.

How the tables have turned. Now he's making Binghe breakfast, and he's anxious to see if he'll like it like he did last time. Shen Qingqiu rarely shows his affections like this, but after losing Luo Binghe the second time... he can't pretend to be calm and indifferent.

"Oh, you're awake." Exactly as he settled down the bowl by Luo Binghe's bedside, the disciple woke and sat up from his bed. "You slept for a very long time, I was a little worried."

Bingge can smell the soup from afar since his body seemed like it haven't eaten for a long time. Regaining consciousness, he realize he's back to the present. ".....Yes."

He really did slept for a long time, it felt like 3 years to be exact.

"I have some matters to attend to today but if you really can't handle being by yourself, I can postpone it. " Shen Qingqiu frowned from the gloomy expression on Luo Binghe's face.

He didn't answer, as if thinking about something carefully.

"A-Anyways.... you should eat before it gets cold. Do you need me to feed you again?" Did he do something wrong? Does Luo Binghe wants to get pampered more?

"Shizun." He then called out absentmindedly.

"Yes?"

Shen Qingqiu didn't expect what he said next.

"Do you really love me?"

What? Why did Binghe suddenly ask that?

"W-What nonsense.... all of the sudden...." Shen Qingqiu suddenly regret his harsh tone and press his lips together. Luo Binghe doesn't look like he's asking for attention or just to act cute. There was a serious, forlorn expression on his face.

"I had a bad dream last night." Bingmei never lie to Shen Qingqiu, and this wasn't technically a lie, Bingge thought. So the system can't determine yet if he's acting OOC, and didn't stop him. "Shizun pushed me to the Endless Abyss. Do you remember that?"

Shen Qingqiu's face paled and can't say anything. That was the moment he regretted the most after transmigrating.

"I thought, what if the reason Shizun is with me right now..... is because Shizun feels guilty about what he did? What if what Shizun feels isn't love, but pity?"

That's not..... But Shen Qingqiu still can't say anything, his throat dry. Is this what Binghe was thinking when he.... Was it because of his indifferent personality, that he never revealed how much he....... Shen Qingqiu can't complete any of these thoughts, his mind spinning.

"I thought about it well. I tell Shizun I love him everyday, but it seems like I'm the only one pulling on your sleeve, dragging you about.... sometimes I think Shizun is even annoyed. Shizun never says he loves me. Is Shizun fooling me in order for me to think my love isn't one sided?" Bingge forced water to flow down his eyes, a childish expression to hide his solemnity. "Or maybe.... maybe even Shizun is fooling himself into thinking he loves Binghe...."

Those words struck worse than a dagger to the heart.

"Binghe....." He wanted to push away those tears using to sleeves, to say something, but he can't. Why is it so difficult? Unless....

There is some truth in Luo Binghe's words.

No! That's not right! They went this far, everything that happened, of course he.....

Luo Binghe cried harder. "Why isn't Shizun saying anything? Could it be that...."

NO! But his lips are still frozen.

Bingge was baffled for a bit, since he expected that Shen Qingqiu would react on some way. He prepared what to say in case Shen Qingqiu denies it, get angry or try to coax him. But he didn't expect the master to clam up from his little act.

Silence sometimes means yes. So he really must have doubts on their relationship as well.

Striking when the iron is hot, Bingge continued. "I-It hurts.... I can't look at Shizun without feeling a pain on my chest.... thinking that he only pity me......"

"I..." Shen Qingqiu looked like a deer about to be shot by an arrow, so helpless and not knowing what to do. Bingge delivered the final blow.

"I don't want to see Shizun anymore. It hurts to see you."

Shen Qingqiu stood up in shock, his eyes red. Binghe... doesn't want to see me.......?

The disciple who clung to him until the end. The man who he died thrice for, who chose him over a life as a strong demon tyrant with a huge harem, who always cry even if he just move his gaze away from him for a few seconds. Luo Binghe who's always by his side, saying that he was his light and happiness. Only now did he feel like a dangerous poison to his disciple, doing more harm than good the more he stay by his side.

"Do you.... really think that way?" Shen Qingqiu managed to gulp the thorn in his throat and say something. "You don't want to.... see me...."

Bingge wanted to turn around to see what Shen Qingqiu looked like, but he have to stay true to his words and keep on acting like a pitiful puppy. A small, awful sense of regret still made him want to take those words back, but it was only for a while. He ignored it.

"I really don't.... Please don't show yourself to me... Leave...."

Leave. He's asking him to leave. And leave he did, mumbling some excuses like, "I'll go with the others back to Luo River to investigate your resurrection..... excuse me."

But because Luo Binghe was turned away from him, the disciple didn't saw the single tear that flow from his master's eye.

The soup went cold.

"So, how was my little act? Would you still deduct pearls, dear god?" Bingge pushed away the fake tears flowing on his face. Even he himself was surprised by how well he acted, he even felt the immense pain like it was how he truly feel.... but why would he feel hurt?

It's not like he care for Shen Qingqiu. At all. Now that he left, he definitely would feel happy. He SHOULD feel happy.

But there was just an empty hole in his chest.

[No pearls deducted. But heartbreak points...... I can feel that there is a huge level of heartbreak being experienced by Shen Qingqiu....]

"Ha, you don't say?" Bingge sneered.

[And you as well.]

"......"

"....Liar." Bingge downed the cold soup. "I don't feel bad at all."