I've changed over the past couple of years. Not in a bad way though. I have changed from a innocent teenage girl to a wise young woman.

I'm 18 years old standing at 5'8. Yes, I'm still tall and skinny after all these years and I love it. I have light brown skin that glows, giving off that sun kissed look. My eyes are slanted, my nose is small, my lips are big and plump, and my jet black hair flows down to the middle of my back.

Living in Texas for three years was okay. I made friends, some fake and some real. It's fun and rowdy down there, but I miss my hometown. I'm not the only one though. My Aunt Mo and Queen do too, which is why we're moving back to Harlem today.

I was so geeked when my Aunt Mo told us, last month. I haven't stopped thinking about returning since she told me. The only thing that scares me about going back is Omari.

"Oh my gosh! We're finally back home," my Aunt Mo squealed as the plane landed. I looked out the small window and saw the airport in the distance.

Finally, I thought and smiled.

Minutes later, we were all walking towards my Maw Maw and Paw Paw, outside of the airport.

"My babies is finally home. C'mere," Maw Maw smiled with glossy eyes.

We all laughed and hugged her before hugging Paw Paw. "We missed y'all," he grinned before opening the back door for us.

"We missed you too Dad," Aunt Mo said as she slid into the car. Queen and I followed her actions before shutting the door.

"Queen and Lanae, y'all ready to graduate" Paw Paw asked once he got inside the car and pulled off.

"Yes Paw Paw. Just six more months and we will be done wit' high school," Queen said with relief.

"I can't wait! Imma be actin' ah damn fool when y'all walk across that stage," Maw Maw laughed.

"I can see you now Maw Maw." I giggled.

"For real," Queen agreed while laughing.

"Where we goin' mom?" Aunt Mo asked once we were done joking around.

"We finna go over Lynn's, she havin' ah get together," Maw Maw answered. Lynn was my other grandma, my mom's mom.

"Good cause I miss her and her homemade cookies," Aunt Mo smiled.

"Yess, me too," Queen agreed.

I missed everyone that I have left behind in Harlem and I was so happy to be back.

"Oh my gosh Lanae," my grandma yelled when she saw me and everybody else standing on her porch.

"Hi Grandma," I smiled. She pulled me into a tight hug.

"I missed you so much Nae. I'm so happy you're home," she mumbled into my ear.

"I missed you more."

We both pulled away after a while and she looked me up and down, "Look at you! You lookin' like ah grown woman now."

I laughed.

"Girl that's what I'm sayin'. Both of 'em need to slow down," Maw Maw said while shaking her head.

Grandma look at everybody else and grinned. Her eyes lit up when they landed on Aunt Mo and Queen.

"Look at y'all. Lookin' like twins," she laughed before walking over to them and giving them a hug. "Come inside, come in."

We all followed her inside the house and straight towards the kitchen. I was surprised by all the food she cooked. She had collar greens, cabbage, corn on the cob, baked macaroni and cheese, sweet Hawaiian rolls, baked beans, grilled chicken, roasted chicken, candied yams, apple pies, brownies, and her homemade cookies laid out, all around the kitchen.

"Dang Grandma! You cooked ah lot of food. How many people comin' over?" I asked.

She laughed, "I know, but y'all and Lieasha's old workers are comin' over."

I froze and looked at Queen with huge eyes. She stared back at me with her mouth wide open. She quickly closed it and mouthed, what the fuck, to me.

"Them boys always tryna eat up some shit," my paw paw said while shaking his head.

"They kept in touch wit' y'all all these years?" I finally asked once I unfroze.

"Yeah. On the DL we tried to lose contact, but that damn Omari wasn't havin' it." my Paw Paw admitted.

"Paw Paw, I know you didn't just say DL," Queen said in between laughs.

"Dad you tryna get hip?" my Aunt Mo questioned with a smirk.

"I'm already hip baby girl."

"So they're all comin' over today," I questioned, shocked.

"Yeah they don't know about y'all moving back here yet." Grandma said.

"Oh."

A few moments later Queen finally calmed me down and we all got settled. Maw Maw, Paw Paw, and Grandma were all sitting in the kitchen talking while me and Queen sat in the living room when I saw a lot of cars pull up in front of the house.

My heart sped up as I looked at Queen with wide eyes, but she wasn't even paying attention.

"Queen," I whispered. She didn't even hear me because she was too busy stuffing her mouth. I side eyed her before calling her name again.

"Yeah wassup?" She wiped off the crumbs that were on her mouth before glancing at me.

"They're here." I mumbled. Her eyes drifted behind me and towards the window as I heard several car doors shut.

"Damn," she whisper yelled, "it's ah lot of 'em niggas."

I turned my head and looked out the window again. It was a crowd of niggas walking towards the front door.

The gang has gotten bigger cause there was never this many people before I left.

"Ouuu that nigga right there is sexy." I heard Queen utter while pointing at the window.

"Girl there's hella niggas out there that's fine." I admitted.

"I'm surprised you even said that, you be so stuck on Omari's ass," she playfully rolled her eyes.

Her saying his name caused me to scan everybody outside, but I didn't see him. I was relieved and disappointed at the same time. "Queen I don't see him out there." I pouted.

"Girl I thought that's what you wanted," she laughed.

"I mean," I paused, "I did, but why isn't he here? I wonder if he's okay. Do you think he's hurt?"

"Lanae stop assumin' the worst," Queen said with a serious face.

I opened my mouth to say something else, but the knock at the door stopped me.

"Lanae can you open the door? That should be the boys," I heard my grandma yell from the kitchen.

"Yes," I yelled back before groaning. I stood up from the couch I was sitting on and walked towards the door.

"Imma go and get myself together, I'll be right back," Queen mumbled under her breath before quickly making her way out of the living room.

I know her ass didn't just leave me, I thought.

I took a deep breath as I opened the front door and stepped aside. All of the men barged in one by one, with me only recognizing a few.

"Who is you?" I heard someone ask from behind me. I closed the door as I turned around and noticed all of the men staring at me. Some of their eyes were filled with shock and some of them were filled with curiosity.

I locked the door, "This my grandma house, who are you?"

"Lanae," I heard a familiar voice say my name.

"Yeah," I asked not knowing who said my name.

"Hold on is that Lieashia's Lanae," I heard the rude nigga from earlier question.

"Yeah," that familiar voice spoke once again. A tall man with long dreads stepped in front of everybody and stared at me.

"Oh my gosh Oscar," I yelled once I recognized him. He smiled before pulling me into a hug.

"Damn baby girl, you got all grown on me. Where you been at, B?" He pulled away looking at me with a sad and confused face.

Guilt started to build inside me causing me to move my gaze down to my feet, "I ended up movin' to Texas wit' my Aunt Mo. My mom told her that I couldn't tell anybody about where I was goin'. I'm sorry."

"It's coo' Nae. You had to listen to yo' mama. We all missed you tho'." He let me go as some other gang members stepped towards me.

"I missed y'all too," I admitted while looking at all the other familiar people in the living room.

I hugged and spoke to all the members I remembered or who remembered me. I even spoke to some new ones. They all understood why I just left Harlem without telling any of them. It was nothing, but good vibes all around the room.

"I was wonderin' why y'all haven't barged into the kitchen yet." Everybody turned towards my grandma, Maw Maw, and Paw Paw once we heard my grandma laugh.

"Right. These niggas always actin' like some damn homeless niggas tryna catch ah meal," my Maw Maw laughed while shaking her head.

"Aw," Oscar chuckled, "we just shocked to see Lanae. We thought she was gone for good."

"Well stop actin' shocked and get y'alls good for nothing asses away from my grand baby. The hell is wrong wit' y'all," Paw Paw rudely said.

"Oh my gosh," I mumbled as I saw Aunt Mo and Queen walk into the living room.

"Dad that was mean," Aunt Mo stated.

My Maw Maw waved her off, "They use to it by now. He always talkin' to 'em like that."

"Mhmm," the gang agreed causing Queen to laugh.

"Y'all boys come and get y'alls food before it get cold," my grandma demanded before making her way towards the kitchen. Everybody followed behind her, but I stopped and grabbed Oscar's arm when I thought of something.

"Wassup?" He asked while looking down at me. I let go of his arm before sighing.

"I noticed ah few people not being here like Nick, Bean, and Omari. Are they okay? Where's Omari?"

"Another one," Bean spoke in a DJ Khaled voice causing my girlfriend Brittany to laugh.

We both switched to a different pose before standing up straight.

He handed Brittany her iPhone 7 plus before pulling out his phone.

"Niggas been blowin' my ass up. Got me missin' calls fuckin' around wit' y'all," he laughed while scrolling though it.

"Nigga don't start. I ain't wanna take the pictures anyway," I admitted causing Brittany to roll her eyes.

"Omari don't act like you don't be all up on me talkin' 'bout some bae let's take ah selfie," she smirked.

"Oh hell nah, B! You takin' selfies now?" He bent over cracking up while holding his stomach.

I mugged Brittany, "Why you always be on that lyin' shit Brittany. You know I don't play that shit."

"Aww baby I was just playin', c'mere," she cooed as she reached for my face. I smacked her hands away cause she always thinking everything is a game. "Damn Mari! I'm sorry."

"Ma," I paused looking at her with a blank stare, "stop all that yellin'."

She huffed before storming towards my whip. She slammed the door closed once she was inside the car. I glared at her before turning my attention towards Bean.

This nigga was sitting inside of his car, but in the passenger seat.

I stared at him while his ass was staring in outer space. "Why yo' goofy ass just ain't sit in yo' driver's seat?"

He slowly looked at me before smiling, "Fuck you, dawg. My ass was waitin' on yo' slow ass."

I chuckled, "Yeah. What's the word on the street?"

"Word is... some new mothafuckas is tryna start up ah gang on the south side. Some dumb ass teenagers, but other than that everything sweet."

I looked around as I nodded my head, "Good, good," I repeated.

"Most of the gang was blowin' me up earlier talkin' 'bout comin' over to Lieashia's mom's crib. I guess she still havin' that get together, but she still ain't say why she havin' it," he informed me.

"Hmm," I hummed, "I don't know. She don't fuck wit' Brittany."

Bean smacked his lips, "Then take her ass home. Lil' mama got ah attitude anyway, drop her ass off."

I laughed, "Yeah I might. Imma text you when I'm on my way to her house."

"Aight fool," he said before hopping out his car and walking over to the driver side.

I shook my head at him before making my way over to my car. I opened the door and hopped inside before turning the car on. I glanced over at Brittany and noticed she still had an attitude.

"I'm finna drop you off home," I told her as I pulled out of the drive way of Bean's house.

I saw her turn towards me from the corner of my eye, already knowing she was finna start some unnecessary shit.

"Really Omari? You said we was gon' spend the day together, but now you finna drop me off at home? You full of shit," she spat.

"Look don't be comin' at me like that. You got ah attitude that I'm not finna deal wit'. I'm takin' yo' ass home cause I ain't got fuckin' time."

She shook her head while sitting back.

The rest of the drive home was silent.

As soon as I pulled up in front of our crib she got out the car and slammed my door once again. I closed my eyes telling myself to calm down before I turned off my car and got out.

"Aye," I shouted as she unlocked the front door, "don't be slammin' my fuckin' doors."

She opened the door and flicked me off before slamming the door shut. I rushed towards the door and swung it open. She was no where to be found so I quickly walked towards our room after shutting and locking the front door.

Brittany was going through our dresser when I stepped in the room.

"Omari just go! You obviously don't re-" she yelped out when I grabbed her by her waist and threw her on the bed.

I climbed onto it and hovered over her as she looked up at me with wide eyes.

"Like dead ass.. you need to chill the fuck out," I spat, "you really got me tight right now, so stop fuckin' testin' me!"

"Okay, get off me Omari," she whined while pushing at my chest. I grabbed both her arms before pinning them above her head.

I leaned down before whispering in her ear, "Faire ensemble. Soyez prêt lorsque je rentrerai à la maison parce que je vais vous baiser la merde quand je rentre à la maison." I licked the skin behind her ear causing her to moan.

"Omari," she breathed, "I love it when you speak French to me."

I smirked before pecking her lips and climbing off the bed, "Be ready when I get home."

I walked out the house and locked the door. While walking towards my car I pulled my phone out of my pocket and texted Bean letting him know I was on my way to the get together. Once I sent the message I hopped inside of my car and drove off.

These past couple of years, I've changed. I turned cold towards strangers, enemies, and even some close ones.

That shit that happened with Lieashia and Lanae fucked me all up. I blame myself everyday for what happened to both of them. If I would've been more on my shit and focused, none of that shit at Lieashia's house would've went down.

I still don't even know what happened to Lanae. That day I came back to the hospital, I went straight to her room thinking I was going to see her, but when I opened the door the room was empty.

I rushed to one of the doctors in the hallway and asked what the hell happened. Everybody was acting clueless to what I was talking about and it was really making me mad. Before I could raise hell, Lanae's doctor called my name and asked me what was wrong. I asked her where Lanae was cause I ain't see her in the room. The doctor gave me a confused look before telling me her aunt came and discharged her. I ain't know what the fuck she was talking about. Her aunt? I ain't ever meet no aunt of hers.

My mind instantly started asking questions like, did somebody kidnap her or who was claiming to be her aunt or where was she at now or how was I finna get in touch with Lanae?

The doctor asked me was everything okay when I spaced out, but I didn't answer her. I just rushed out of the hospital and quickly drove around to see if I could spot her anywhere, but I never did.

Since that day I've been searching for her nonstop. Sometimes I would lose hope, but still I never gave up. Out of respect, I would go and check up on Lanae's grandparents whenever I could cause now and days I be busy with the streets and everything.

I became the gang leader of Slum Money after Lieashia passed away. Not only was it a gang, but we were all family. I didn't use my title as a way for power either. I earned it and kept it because I made sure everybody was acting right and doing their jobs. I also kept everybody together and made sure we were all making enough guap together.

There were several different ways of how we made bread. Some illegal and some legit ways. We owned a few businesses, ten to be exact. Five restaurants, four gas stations, and a nightclub. Out of all the businesses our gas stations are the odd and risky ones.