Chapter Thirty-Seven

I grabbed my umbrella and braced myself for the downpour I was about to step into as I headed for Joe's back door. The screen door Joe hooked onto the kitchen door frame every spring, and took off every fall, had appeared since my last visit.

I tossed my umbrella to a corner of the porch. Then I reached up to knock on the wood frame, but didn't. Through a dusty screen, I saw Joe sitting at the table. His back was to me, but I could tell he was crying.

"Joe," I called softly.

I repeated his name a second time before I started to let myself inside. The door squeaked on its rusty hinges and Joe jerked around.

"Hi, there," I said, trying to smile, but wanting to cry with him.

He turned his back to me again. I'm not sure if it was to dry his eyes or if he really was upset with me for missing the service. I pulled out the table chair next to him and slowly let myself down on it. Joe was still dabbing at his eyes with his handkerchief, which allowed me to breathe a little easier.

The words I wanted to say refused to come right away. So I reached over for his hand. When he gave mine a squeeze, I knew I was off the hook. He wasn't mad at me.

"I'm sorry I missed you at the cemetery. I arrived late. By the time I finished saying good-bye to Ethel, Angel and you had left Thomas's grave side."

Joe looked over at me through watery eyes. My hand was squeezed a little tighter.

"I told Thomas I forgave him."

"That's good, Joe."

He shook his head yes. Then he looked straight over into my eyes that were also watery. "Angel didn't think I should do it. Said she wouldn't. Couldn't."

"Where is Angel?" I asked, while I tried to understand why Angel would tell him such a thing.

"Off somewhere in the woods."

"Joe, it's raining buckets out there."

"Says she likes the rain."

"Well what's she doing in the woods?"

"Goes there to think. Says she's been in 'bout all the woods 'round here."

Never mind that I thought sitting in the woods in the middle of a rainstorm was a bit off the wall, it was the other part Joe said that was giving my head fits. The part about Angel being in all the woods in the area.

"She'll be along soon if she's anything like her mother. Marie did her best thinking out in the wild, too."

"That's interesting," I said before swallowing long and hard.

"I flew out there to Ohio, you know. Stood over her grave and told her I forgave her, too."

"You mean that's where you were on this trip you just took? You flew to Ohio?"

Joe affirmed with a nod. "I loved that woman, Fay. Marie was that once in a lifetime love they write those romance books about."

He looked away from me and pounded his fist down hard on the tabletop.

"I'd have married her, too, if it weren't for that scoundrel brother of mine."

I finally knew. It was a woman that turned brother against brother all those years ago. But I remained silent so Joe could continue telling his story.

"He run off with her. When she told him she was carrying his child, he left her."

"How do you know this? I mean, that she was pregnant?"

"I read it in her diary Angel gave me. She wrote in there that I fathered the child. That's why Thomas didn't do the right thing and marry her. He knew the baby was mine."

"But why didn't Marie tell you? Why did she run off with Thomas when it was your baby she was carrying?"

The screen door squeaked open before Joe had a chance to answer. But the look he had been giving me before Angel came in the door, told me he didn't know the answer.

I watched Angel bend over and kiss Joe on the cheek before starting to take off rain gear. And in the process, she said to me, "Hello, Fay. It was very nice of you to stop by and keep Father company while I was out."

"Well, I didn't get a chance to talk to him at the cemetery."

"Were you there? I didn't see you."

I watched her strike one of those long matches on the side of its box again before putting it to the gas on the front burner of Joe's old stove. All the while I was biting my tongue to keep from calling her a liar. She did see me at the cemetery. Our eyes met long enough for me to revisit that spooky place deep inside her.

"I'm going to heat Father and I soup. Would you like some, Fay?"

"No," I answered immediately. Then I jumped up saying, "I have some things to do. But I would like to use the bathroom before I go, if that's okay?"

I expected Angel to be first to politely give me permission. But instead, she guided the can of soup against the cutting edge of the electric can opener while Joe spoke.

"You know you don't need permission. Just go."

I scooted out of the kitchen like I had to go real bad. But that wasn't the case. The truth is, I had no plans to use the toilet.