[27.7.2022]

last night you called

and i called you by your first name to keep my composure

it's been over a month of no contact

are you trying to break my heart again?

when i refused to call you by your nickname

you resorted to calling me by my second name that i absolutely despise

i said, "stop doing that,"

and you said, "i'll be the first person to call you by that name other than your grandmother,"

and that made my heart drop

because how could you turn us into strangers

and still remember the littlest information about me that most are unaware of

did you say that to break my heart?

because i think it's been broken enough

and i'm still not done mourning over what could have been

and what has been

because now we're only strangers

with knowledge about each other that we have grown to know so well

i wish i could throw them out

just burn them in a barrel in my mind the same way i'd burn your clothes

will i see you at a new year's party?

after months of no interaction

still recognising your hair and the way you walk and maybe i'll even hear your laugh

and when the clock strikes 12 and i have no one to kiss

if i walked up to you

will you give me that bliss?