《Through the eyes of you - a Heartstopper fanfic》The letter
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A few weeks later: Charlie decided to deal with the letter later. At the end of the night Charlie told Nick about the letter. Nick being supportive told him it's up to him what he wants to do with it. Ben has moved out and is now living on base leaving Charlie with the house.
Charlie's Pov:
I turn Ben's letter over in my hands. It's been almost 4 weeks and I still haven't gotten the nerve to open it. I look around what used to be our room and a wave of sorrow hits me. I've been okay for the most part. Ben moved onto his base and left me with the house, he thought it was easier that way. Being with Nick has been amazing, but I can't help missing Ben sometimes. He was my world for two years. Being in this house constantly surrounded by memories doesn't help. I sit up on the bed ripping the envelope open. It's a few pages long. I put the letter down hunching over. I feel like I'm going to throw up. The anxiety of what he said penetrating every inch of my body. I want to throw the letter away but the regret I would feel would eat me alive. I steady my breathing picking the letter back up.
"To Charlie, my first love," tears fill my eyes but I wipe them away forcing myself to continue.
"When started dating when I was 17. I told you I had a crush on you for a while, but I never told you when it started. We were 14 and had just started high school. On the first day of school I was sitting alone with headphones in. I had just moved here and had no friends. You came up and sat at the table not even asking permission. I told you I wanted to be alone and you responded saying 'everyone deserves a friend'. I brushed you off thinking nothing of it. For the next 3 years I watched you. You came back sophomore year, your hair gown out and you were the one sitting alone this time. I know you had been outed and I was scared to be seen with you. I've always been made fun of for looking or sounding gay. The only thing is I am. I am gay, Charlie and you helped me realize that. I have loved you since we were 14. Here at 19 years old, I see now I was young and naive. Not because I loved you, but because I thought loving you would be enough. I didn't think it would matter if I showed you off or took you out of dates. I thought loving you in private was enough. I see now that it wasn't. You needed more from me and I couldn't give it to you. I wanted to give you the world Charlie, but I could only offer you my heart. I should have stood up to my dad that day when he walked in on us in bed. We had just said I love you for the first time. I don't know if you know but that day was my first time too. I was so scared and ashamed of my dad that I agreed to join the military to just make him go away. I thought I could protect you if I went away. I know now I should have fought for you, for us. Nothing was the same after that day. When we moved in together I thought being in one house would fix it. I thought if I got away from my dad that I could come out, but I was wrong. Did you know that they didn't even let you be gay in the military until a few years ago? I wanted to come out Charlie I did, but I couldn't risk losing everything. Now I've lost you, my everything. I don't even know if your reading this letter. Knowing you it's probably been eating at you for weeks now and you finally caved and are reading it. I hope you are. I will always know you Charlie, even when I didn't show that I did. When I couldn't give you what you needed and I seen it hurt you, I stopped trying. I thought if I didn't show I cared it wouldn't hurt as much. I admit, I was pushing you away. Not because I didn't love you, but because it hurt to love you. It hurt every day to love you but hate myself. I understand why you picked Nick. As much as I regret losing you, Nick will be better for you right now. Nick may not be out now but he will come out for you. Something I don't know if I can ever do. You won't have to hide for him, you can go on dates, you can meet the family. You can have the love you deserve. I've rambled a lot and I don't even know what I'm trying to say so I'll end it this way. Charlie Spring, you were my first love and I will always love you. I hope one day I'll come out, and when I do it will be for you. I'll wait for you Charlie. I'll wait for the day I'm ready for you. Please Charlie, let me be selfish and ask you to wait for me too."
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I curl into a ball, tears are running down my face. I pull my pillow over my face and just scream and scream. Breaking up with someone is hard, loving someone who is no longer good for you is hard. I know I made the right decision choosing Nick so why does it hurt so much. I force myself to sit up folding the letter and put it back in the envelope. I get out my phone and draft a text to Ben.
C: I won't wait for you, but you'll always be my first love.
My thumb dances over the send icon. After a few moments pass I hit send. Almost immediately my phone digs. I pick it up slowly reading his text.
B: I'll show you I can change. Nick stole you from me. Maybe I can steel you back.
I Chuck my phone across the room just as Nick walks in the door. I forgot I gave him a key. He rushes over pulling me into a hug. "Char, what happened?"
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The Rise Of Nathalia Carter
The wedding day. A moment that most women treasured with but not with her.
8 5791Time & Tied
A war in the future is spilling into our present. Enter Carrie Waterson, a teenage girl who ends up with a time machine. In using it, she learns that she is tied to a future destiny. What does that mean for her now? Who in her high school can be trusted to help out, given how some of her friends have their own agendas and mystic connections? Most importantly, how might Carrie fight against the future, when the future is herself? (ASIDE: Cover was an old commission from Sabrnyan.)
8 76Anarcho: A Cyberpunk Fantasy
Below you can find blurbs for each arc in Anaracho. Fracture Rating (Anarcho, #1) Theeeey’ve done it again! Max and Staxx have just hit the Tower Plaaaza just minutes ago, breaking CEO Tanaka Koji’s safe and baling with what’s estimated to be at least two point three biiiiillion in cash—not to mention the prrrriceless personal relics worth at least a second veritable fortune on the blaaack maarkeeet! Hooowwww do we know it was theeem? They left us clues! “Take it to the max” and “Staxx of cash” left behind, written atop a priceless Remvira painting in lipstiiiick from Koji’s bathroooom no doubt! “I don’t know…” Tanaka says as he scratches his head in evident disbelief while he nurses a broken lip. “One moment I was looking over the quarterly reports and then next thing I know I’m—I’m face down—eating tile and forced by two men at knife and gunpoint to open my safe!” It’s quiiiite a shocker for us over here, too! In case you don’t know, Tanaka Koji is the billionair heir and infamous playboy of the Tanaka Dynastyyy. They say his family’s worth at least four-hundred biiiillioooon and theyyy donnn’t skimp on SEEEECUUURITYYY! Soooo….. what does daad think about allll this? “I want them stopped!” Tanaka senior comments as he shakes a fist. “I am putting up a five-hundred million dollar reward for anyone who supplies information leading to the capture or death of those two thugs!” Weeell, there you have it, folks! Straight from the uuunicorn’s mouth! Again! that’s a whopping five-hundred million dollar reward for any tips that lead to the capture or death of those pesky thieves, Maaax and Staaaaxx! Any tips of information can be sent via public or in-home holo net devices by going to the page displayed—and don’t forget to— Staxx shut off the holo screen. “May called. She wants us to do another job. Tonight.” “You know we can’t. We got another one of our high and mighty overlords to visit at his luxury penthouse.” “That’s what I told her, too.” “Then stop yapping and let’s kick some ass!” “You know, Max, for such a small guy, you’re really intense. Don’t you wanna have some fun?” “Oh… we’re gonna have some fun, Staxx. We’re gonna have some fun...” * * * Hussy (Anarcho, #2) Max and Staxx board the ultrafine space cruiser Chylaxium in an effort to kidnap Kelly Hess, the daughter of the rich—but not a douche—Hess, who wants his daughter returned to him after she ran off with Laiwyn Scorr, a known smuggler and murderer whose evidently using her for her magical abilities to get to her father. Unfortunately it remains to be seen whether the little hussy will come easily. “Max, are you sure about this one?” “You know it’s a favor to May, after what she had to pull to get us outta that Yates thing.” “I know, but… just because you like her doesn’t mean we have to say ‘yes.’” “Come on, Staxx, it’ll be fun.” “Do we get to shoot stuff?” “Definitely!” “What happened to us robbing banks on the six o’clock news?” “Don’t worry—we’ll get to that after we do this thing real quick.” “All right, I’m down.” “Sweet.” * The Landfill Lich (Anarcho, #3) With independent, though highly discredited, news sources siting a dangerous creature killing people on the edges of Life City, Max and Staxx—in their boredom, decide to take up the investigation. They quickly discover that they may be in way over their heads, and that the source of this “terrible monster” or whatever, is in fact due to the carelessness of a mega corp—of course—and headed by—you guessed it—the mages. “Man, I’m so bored! Sure this thing’s even real?” “The bodies are real.” “If the overlords are responsible for whatever’s goin’ on, then somebody’s getting tossed out another window.” “That’s what you always say.” “’Cause it’s the truth, Staxx” “Well let’s check it out and see what we find.” “Takin’ guns.” “Hells yes, Max.” * Rescue Operation (Anarcho, #4) After taking out a Strogaus science mage and the monster he had created, Max and Staxx attempt to contact May—their ally and handler. But for the first time ever, a different person answers their call, indicating an irregularity that bodes ill for not only May, but for them all. “Damn! I wanted to meet May, but…” “Not like this?” “Do you think she’s still alive?” “One way to find out, Max.” “Listen, if this has something to do with Strogaus and that science mage we fed to his own monster, we’re puttin’ these guys in the ground, Staxx.” “Then let’s lock and load.” * Dreams of Forever (Anarcho #5) Max, Staxx and May—three Anarchos—set out to find Lexa a body so that she too can fully become part of the team. But what begins as an innocent shopping trip, soon turns into a storm of bullets after the team realizes what Invera-Tech is really up to. “No way can we let this stand, guys.” “Not like we can’t end the overlord’s dreams of forever with a few bullets.” “Then let’s drop some hot lead on these wannabe gods.” “Hells yes!” “But what about my body?” “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, Lexa.” “Oh—okay!” “Now let’s tear shit up!”
8 217Angel Eyes. (English Version.)
Remember that I still with you.
8 78New World +
The Rosen Fang guild were in the middle of a raid when the world suddenly ends and they wake up in a new world
8 125Dragons of Dark Rebellion in A World of Essence
In a world where cultivation is the highest form of virtue, the purity of one’s blood is of absolute value. Saul is neither Arloni, nor Delcairan. He’s both. But when a strange ring suddenly falls into his hands, nineteen year old Saul is more than willing to push the boundary between fantasy and reality. However, things are not as they once were in Falden. At a time where Saul finally confronts lord Albryte’s sons after years of torment and abuse, his father’s health is fading fast. Suddenly faced with the consequences of his actions, Saul is forced to make a difficult decision. And as he fights his own battle, dark forces descend upon Lucidia. Followed by a pair of glowing red eyes, a stranger appears in the night, visiting Falden with unfavorable intentions. Even worse, nameless assassins strike at the heart of the capital, leaving Eliza Zaryph, the black sheep of the ruling house of Lucidia, shouldering the burden of governing a kingdom that once turned its back on her. As the world marches toward chaos, their lives take a drastic turn. Will Saul abandon those he holds most dear? Will Eliza drown herself in the past? Or will they struggle against fate and seize the future with their own hands? Tomorrow remains uncertain. But the Sun will show them the way. Author's Note: Inspired by the Wuxia/Xianxia genre the magic system is comprised of cultivating through different Worlds of power, where each World offers more strength and abilities. Currently there are five Worlds known: Essence Practitioner, Essence Channeler, Essence Warrior, Essence Conquerer, and finally Essence Ruler. (And for the best reading experience I recomend altering your width setting to about 70 or 80 percent on desktop.) Table of Contents: Prologue Part 1: Homecoming (chapters 1-12) Part 2: Journey (chapters 13-25) About 70 percent complete. I'll update this figure over time and begin posting again after I finish it and go through several rounds of editing.
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