"Guys....Jae isn't going to be in one group anymore..."

that was the sentence that just changed my life and made me the 19th and 14th member of Seventeen and NCT, all while being their maknae. News headlines, fans, sasaengs, haters, etc. They all are the ones that are spreading rumours and news about me everywhere. Yes, I'm in 2 companies officially, and have two dorms I stay in. yeah, the people I have a crush on has changed and when they say ship names like Jaecheol or Jaein, it's annoying. The most commonly used ship name is Jaecheol ever since we sang Roll Deep together. I mean, I am changing everything little by little. I have clothes everywhere, a house my brothers and I escape to, a dorm I can stay in if it's closest to where we are at. I mean I have feelings for Sungcheol, but.....I mean it's like....complicated....I don't know what life will hold for me. I just want to enjoy myself.