Logan sighed, crossing his arms. Remus had walked into Logan's room about an hour ago, and he had yet to stop fucking talking.

He seemed to be talking about dildos and parakeets, and Logan didn't have the motivation to pay attention.

Logan assumed Remus had come to release some stress. Why did he choose Logan for this? Who knows?

He had come to this conclusion after seeing Remus' posture and expression. When he popped in, he was tense and grimacing. Logan wanted to ask what was wrong, but Remus wouldn't let him get a word out.

So, he just settled for relaxing in his seat and letting the duke talk.

"--after insertion! Anyways, how are you doing?" Remus asked, smiling brightly at him.

Logan stared blankly at him. "...Is there a reason you have decided to waste an hour of my life?" He asked, raising a brow.

"I just needed to release some steam! Though..." Remus smirked. "I can release something else for you, if you'd like?"

"Something else?" Logan echoed, furrowing his brow. He didn't question any further, figuring he wouldn't like the answer. "Um, is something troubling you?"

"That's a funny question." Remus laughed, to emphasize his point.

"Is it?" Logan murmured to himself, confused.

"Well, y'know that plan you gave me. The one for splitting up a couple?"

Ah, yes. Logan was unfortunately very familiar with this plan.

"I am." Logan told him, nodding slightly.

"I'm starting to think that I need a new one." Remus huffed. "It doesn't seem to be as harmless as you said."

---

Remus pursed his lips, waiting for Logan to start yelling at him for questioning his logic.

Logan just gave him a blank stare, as if he was waiting for Remus to continue.

When Remus didn't continue, Logan just sighed. He softened a bit, leaning back in his chair. "Elaborate."

"I just--I dunno." Remus shrugged, walking over and plopping down in Logan's lap.

"What the fu--"

"I mean, how do you sabotage all of their dates without hurting them?" Remus mumbled, crossing his arms.

""

"Okay."

Remus walked back over to Logan's bed, and face planted on it. "I think your plan is faulty, Lo-Lo."

"Well, sabotage doesn't always have to equal drastic actions." Logan said, not even hiding that he was offended.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, turning his head to look at Logan.

"Well, from my experience--um, I mean," Logan cleared his throat. Remus rose a brow, but didn't comment on his slip-up.

"I've read that even the slightest disturbance in the atmosphere, the faintest twitch in expression, the smallest miscommunication can lead to the date becoming a disaster. If one person thinks the other isn't having a good time, the date will become awkward and strained." Logan pushed up his glasses. "You don't need to make one trip and fall into a puddle, or have the other get hit by a car. It's always the atmosphere that makes or breaks the date."

"That was a lot of words, and I tuned out half of 'em." Remus deadpanned. Logan frowned. "But I think I get what you're saying!"

"Great." Logan hummed, standing up and walking to the bookshelf. He took one off the shelf. It was among the thinnest books in his collection. "Have you read Romeo and Juliet?"

"Nope! But I know how it ends!" Remus beamed. Logan opened the book, ignoring him.

"It's beautiful. Though, I don't care for the romantic aspect of it." Logan mumbled, idly turning through the pages. "You know what I believe the moral of this story to be?"

"Letting go of grudges?" Remus rolled his eyes. "Don't tend to old wounds, or whatever?"

Logan smiled, shaking his head. He closed the book, handing it to Remus.

"Some love just isn't meant to be."

---

"Hey, you with me?"

A gentle voice roused Roman out of unconsciousness. His head was pounding, and his eyes felt like they weighed a gazillion tons.

Not that Roman couldn't lift that.

He furrowed his brow, trying to pry his eyelids open.

"Yeah, that's it. Come back to me, Ro." The gentle voice encouraged. "Follow the sound of my voice."

He opened them a crack, and found an absolutely exhausted looking Janus staring down at him.

A small smile found its way to Janus' face. "Hey there."

"Wha' h'ppned?" Roman slurred, trying to sit up. He looked around, seeing that he was in the ballroom he had created.

"Not so fast, Princey." Virgil gently pushed him back down. (When did he get here?) "You hit your head pretty hard."

Roman sat up anyways, ignoring Virgil's grunt of disapproval.

"How are you feeling, kiddo?" Patton asked.

"...dunno. 'm dizzy." Roman murmured, resting his head on Janus' shoulder. "Tired."

He noticed that Janus was shaking, but he couldn't seem to fully process anything at the moment.

"I think you have a concussion, Ro." Janus told him, beginning to lightly run his fingers through Roman's hair. "What happened back there?"

"Hmm?" Roman mumbled.

"You know I don't like public spaces. Why would you do something like that?" Janus hissed, sounding hurt.

"I di'nt do that." Roman murmured.

"You didn't?" Janus asked. "Really? Then who did?"

Roman mumbled an unintelligible answer. Janus was about to ask him to speak up, when Virgil poked Roman's cheek.

"Hey, no. We need you to stay up." Virgil frowned. "Do you know how dangerous it is to sleep with a concussion?"

"S'rry." Roman blinked blearily up at him.

"What were you going to say, Ro? Who did that?" Janus asked, furrowing his brow.

"I have a good idea." Virgil spat, crossing his arms.

"He p'shed me into th' table." Roman giggled loopily. "It hurt a lot."

"Who did, Roman?" Janus asked.

"M' brain hurts. I c'nt remember right now." Roman groaned. Janus sighed, looking at Virgil and Patton for the answer.

"Well, there's no easy way to say this..."