Hey! Just a little before note, i'm going to put *** right where you should start the song on the side c: Okayyy? 

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I fixed the mass of bracelets on my arm, looking up at the office in front of me. People rushed by me, not even bothered to push me out of their way. The pocket watch hanging from the pockets of my jeans rang loudly.

"Fuck," I mumbled, moving through the crowd and entering through the glass door. Kelley smiled up at me, nodding for me to go inside. I glared at the door for a few moments longer before gathering up my mind and walking inside with a tight knot in my stomach.

"Miss Matthews," Mr. Brooks greeted and pointed to the bean bag chair on the floor. "You can sit if you'd like."

I nodded and lowered myself onto it with a sigh. "How are you?" Iasked lightly.

He bit his lip, causing a guilty pang of remembrance to strike through me. "We're here for your counselling, not mine. How are you?"

I shrugged. "Fine."

"Bullshit."

Rolling my eyes, I paused my iPod and looked into his dark navy eyes. "I'm fine, Adam." I used his first name to emphasise my words.

"Tell me what's going on," he said gently.

I groaned quietly, pulling out my pack of cigarettes and putting one in my mouth. "Why do you care so much?"

"You're an interesting person, R-"

"It's the money, isn't it?" I laughed bitterly and let the smoke go into my lungs. "It's always the money."

He shook his head and let out a breath. "You've been seeing me for two years. I don't understand why you won't open up to me."

"Because opening up is shit, Adam. You're just going to make me attached to you in some lame emotional way and then when I leave, one of us is going to be broken." 

He stayed silent for a few moments. "This has happened before, hasn't it?" 

I didn't answer. 

"Opening up to people doesn't mean they're going to leave. Maybe in the past you have a bad memory or two with it, but it shouldn't haunt you like this." He told me.

I just narrowed my eyes. "Every time I trust I fucking fail. There isn't a point. Can we move on?"

He shrugged. "Miss Matthews, if you don't mind me asking, does this have to do with the suicides?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

He let out a long, over dramatic sigh. "There isn't smoking allowed in the office." He pressed.

I took a longer drag. "Hasn't stopped me before." 

He leaned back in his seat and gave me a look. "Yes, I suppose you're right."

---------------

I put in my headphones, heavy black mufflers that soundproofed everything except for the music. I bought it off of a homeless guy on my way to Ireland for my last bottle of whiskey- which I had gladly traded for music. 

The record store was only a few blocks away from therapy, so I pulled my leather jacket tighter around my body and struggled to fight back the shiver that racked my body so intensely. A coffee clutched in one hand and my iPod in another, I trudged through the soggy Dublin streets and into the store.

"Vic," I called out, moving my headphones to my shoulders and sendinghim a half wave. He nodded, smiling slightly, and pushed a rack of cd's towards me.

"I need all of these put on clearance by the time Jess checks in, alright?"

"Hi to you too," I mumbled, picking through them. "Sempiternal? Selfish Machines? Reckless And Relentless? What the hell are you thinking?" I looked in awe at Vic, who just shrugged and moved a piece of his dyed purple hair behind his ears.

"They're going out of style, I guess," he commented and ruffled my hair. "Get to it, kid."

I shrugged and stuffed Sempiternal into my small messenger bag before putting my headphones back in. The isles were empty as I moved quickly to the front, singing softly to A Day To Remember and picking up different cds.

My eyes flicked over their covers briefly before I put them on a circular rack, the most decorative albums facing outwards. Vic hovered nearby and played with his guitar a bit, just plucking strings. 

I had found the record store after being lost and drunk for days in Dublin. After the ferry, I hadn't been sober for days on end. Vic caught me listening to old Pink Floyd albums three hours after the store had closed and took me in without another word.

He was the one who got me therapy, right after I had opened up to him.

The albums were neatly stacked by the time I was almost finished, one of the old Mayday Parade cd's clutched in my hand as I tried to decide where to put it. I'd been sober for almost a year by now, and there was no way I planned on drinking again.

Adam had taught me drinking brought on stronger hallucinations. All this time, I had drunk away my problems without knowing it was the one bringing them on harder. It was pathetic, really, how my mind worked.

I was stronger now- I knew that much. And one day, when the time came, I would go home.

But that day isn't today.

I placed it somewhere in the middle and took a step back, pausing the music to take out another cigarette and light it. As it was in my mouth, I turned to look out the window at the cold, wet atmosphere.

"You know, those are terribly unhealthy," a light Irish voice said in my ear.

****Play it now!****

I looked behind me, a flash of deja vu filling my features. In front of me, was a tall, tanned boy, with piercing navy blue eyes and dark brown hair. Only in this meeting, there was a mature air to him, the stubble on his cheeks making him look older than twenty one. There was something different, though, that I would've noticed on him before if he were to have worn it. 

My mothers dogtags.

His eyes twinkled for a moment. "It'd be such a waste, seeing a pretty face like yours ruined by all that smoke," he commented.

I felt a smile touch the corner of my lips and took a deep inhale. "Too bad," I let out a smokey breath. "This pretty face is already ruined."

"Alexxa," He grinned.

"I lost her a long time ago, Gabriel." I muttered, and looked around. Vic was nowhere in sight.

He pulled me in for a tight embrace. "Fuck, I missed you."

"It's been two years, stop acting like I died," but I was grinning, hugging him back.

He rolled his eyes. "For all I know, you could've. You left without saying anything."

I shrugged. "I had to sort out some things."

"So, mystery girl," he pushed some of my hair behind my ear, letting me stand flat on my feet. "When am I going to find out your real name?"

I played with the hem of my jacket. "I-"

"Ridley, I don't see any stacking back there!" Vic called out suddenly, smirking.

Gabriel leaned down and picked a cd up. "Ridley," he commented. "I like it."

And just like that, I had found home.

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To everyone who stuck by me and this story, I love youu :3 Even all of my ghost readers, that I never got the chance to fan or dedicate to. This story isn't as popular as I would have liked it to be, but it got in the thousands of reads all the same. 

You guysss, are fucking aweesome! What could I have done without you??? xD 0ver 100 votes, 20 on one chapter, just, damn.. 

I swear, I told myself I wouldnt make this a long, dramatic speech but its gonna be one now c; If you guys really like my writing ( i have no idea why) you can check out my other stories, which arent that bad, I promise !

Second Chances and Love Is For Idiots are both BoyxBoy's, which one of my most awesome dedicated readers is reading. Thanks, man :)

There's allsoo, Fallen, which im taking off hold :D And theen theres The Bucket List and Contagium (which is apocalyptic Cx) and Project D/R/U/G/S. But, y'know, you dont have to read those, this might just be all you can take from my writing.

But anyways, it's been fun writing this and even better reading the comments and seeing votes

To the person who asked, No, there will not be a sequel. This is the end, as sad as that sounds c:

For the lasssssssst time,

xxx

- Bekka<3