When my maid woke me the following morning with my cup of ginger root tea, I directed her to remove all of my belongings from the master bed chamber into my new chambers. After dressing, I went downstairs and greeted Mrs. Timmon. We had plans to walk to the village this morning to meet Saram, Ruthal and Maggie so all of us could discuss the birth.

"Your lord husband said he wished to accompany us to the village when I saw him down here breaking his fast."

My face dropped all happiness. "I was not planning on him joining us, nor do I wish for him to."

There was understanding in her eyes, such kindness, but also something wise. "My lady, when someone is trying to make amends, it helps to meet him halfway."

"He is not sorry for anything. The warrior does not apologize, nor does he have regrets for his treatment of me. He wishes only to make me suffer more for not accepting that which is so abhorrent to me."

"My lady –" she began, but I cut her off.

"Mrs. Timmon, since he arrived yesterday, he has ruined what peace I have found here. I cried when he arrived, and I cried last night until I finally fell asleep. I have not cried since the last time I saw him seven months ago. What does that tell you?"

She considered her words for a minute. "It tells me you care for your husband but do not want to."

"No, it tells me that all he does is bring hurt to me. And I'm trying so hard for the sake of the baby to be smarter than that."

"We shall let him walk with us to the village, and then perhaps send him to greet some of the villagers while we meet with the midwives?"

"If we must."

"See?" she winked at me. "Not so hard to meet him halfway, is it?"

But my heart still felt heavy as it hadn't in the seven months I'd been gone from him...and her.

Later that morning, the three of us walked to the village, and I allowed the warrior and Mrs. Timmon to carry the conversation. They both tried to include me, but I responded with as few words as possible, and they soon just kept talking about subjects without asking for my input.

As we neared the village, a young girl I had befriended on my many trips into the town came running at me, a puppy at her heels.

"Calissande!" she called and I felt the warrior stiffen at the familiarity. That was his problem. I never wanted to play the highborn lady so I told the children and adults alike to call me Calissande. Most did; some could not get past my being the lady of the largest landowner in the county.

"We have more puppies at our house! Molly had them! And I told Mama that you said you wanted one, so she won't let anyone have them until you've picked the one you want. She said they're still too young to leave Molly, but will be ready in a few weeks."

"Well, Delana, I will have to come take a look."

"They're so cute!" she crowed. "You will probably want all four of them."

"I probably will, but that would be terribly greedy of me to not leave any for someone else, would it not?" I tapped her lightly on the nose and she giggled, a sound so sweet and innocent that I couldn't help but giggle right back at her.

I stood up and she took my hand, skipping along happily with me, her pup gamboling about like a young colt in a field. "We have an errand to run first, but please tell your mama I will stop by after."

We walked for a few minutes, Delana chatting happily about all the news, until we reached Ruthal's cottage, a charming, well-kept house whitewashed with a thatched roof. Herbs of all sorts grew in front and around it, with flowering vines crawling up the sides of the home.

"We should be there shortly," I told Delana, and with a hug around my belly, she took off running with the important news of a visitor.

It was only then that I realized both the warrior and Mrs. Timmon had uttered not one word since Delana had arrived, and the warrior was staring at me as if I had something caught in my teeth.

Ignoring his penetrating stare that I could actually feel, I looked in his direction, but not directly at him. "When I was here on my inspection, I noticed both the smithy and the wheelsmith could use some better equipment. While Mrs. Timmon and I are visiting with the midwives, perhaps you could go talk with them and offer some suggestions and help."

He had no response for a minute, then one of his strong hands came up to cup my face and my eyes flew to his of their own accord. "You please me greatly, my lady wife." Then before I could think of words to snap at him, he said, "Wait for me. I'll visit the smithy and wheelsmith and return here to take you to see your puppies."

He turned and walked away while I just stared after him. Next to me, Mrs. Timmon laughed softly. "Meeting in the middle, my lady, is not such a bad place to be."

I was overcome with adorableness. The puppies were one week old, their eyes still closed, their little bodies still uncoordinated and just beginning to turn pudgy from a steady supply of their mother's good milk.

They were varying shades of brown and tan, but the tiny male with the white blaze between his eyes and one white paw most appealed to me. "I think I love this one," I told Delana's mother, Anneh.

"I call him Prince," Delana told me.

I nodded seriously. "Prince is a fine name for such a strong, handsome lad."

"Would you like him, my lady?" Anneh asked.

"Most assuredly," I informed her. "How long until he is weaned?"

"At least another five weeks," she said.

"I shall have another newborn around then, too." I smiled at her and she grinned back.

"I can keep him a few weeks longer, until you are done with your lying-in," she promised.

"I thank you for that consideration. I look forward to Prince keeping me company on long winter nights when my own babe is asleep. I will not be idle with a baby and a puppy to keep me busy!"

"And your lord husband," she said.

"Oh, the warrior will not be here by winter," I explained without thinking about how much I was revealing. "He will be long returned to Bellford Keep."

I felt the warrior stiffen beside me, while Anneh shot him a look and then stammered, "Oh, of...course."

To cover the awkwardness of my blunder, I gave both Anneh and Delana a hug good-bye. While I had my arms around the girl, she jumped back, squealing in delight. "The baby! I felt him kick again!"

He was very active at the moment, so I took her hand and placed it on my belly off to the side. "My babe is rolling around in there and trying to make more room for himself. Do you feel him?"

The look of wonder on her face made me laugh. "Is that not amazing?" I asked her.

She kept her hand there for a few moments, then thanked me prettily with her good manners.

"I shall see you and the others for lessons tomorrow," I told her on the way out and she nodded happily.

Mrs. Timmon went into the house when we had walked back to the manor house, but the warrior detained me outside. "A word, my lady wife."

"Yes?" I prompted him when he did not continue.

He looked at me for long moments, my eyes unable to look away from the storms in his.

"You assume much. You need to stop."

With that cryptic comment, he turned on his heel and made his way to the stables.

The warrior did not join us for dinner that night, so Mrs. Timmon and I laughed through silly childhood stories, and I found myself missing my parents and the home I'd grown up in. My hand covered my belly, feeling sad that my child would never have that sense of family that I had. I vowed to my unborn child that I would do everything I could to make up for him having to see his father with her, for trying to make him understand that what his father modeled was not what he should aspire to.

"My lady, you look so sad, suddenly. Is all right with the babe?"

"It is," I said softly. "I was just thinking of something that weighs on my heart. Naught is amiss."

"My lady, if you don't mind me saying so...certain things, like babies, take time." She shot me a meaningful look. "But, as with babies, things that are important are worth our time."

Her eyes were so earnest I had to look away. "Some things cannot be fixed, even with time."

"Many a mother has told me she feared she would be with child forever, that the babe would never be born. That has never yet come to pass. Babies will come when it is their time. Do not give up when things take time."

"I am glad the warrior found you," I told her pressing my hand to hers.

She cocked her head at me. "My lady, you refer to your husband always as the warrior, never by his name or as your lord husband, although he calls you his lady wife and Calissande. Why is that?"

"Because I ceased to think of him as my husband the day he brought me to Bellford Keep and introduced me to her. He is the man I am married to, but he is most assuredly not my husband. It was the same day I decided to never let his name pass my lips again."

"Do you not think that bothers him?"

"He does not notice what I call him."

"You might be surprised what he notices about you."

"No, in truth he does not notice much about me, Mrs. Timmon. I say this not to be pitied but to present the way things are. I am sure he notices much about her, though."

"You two find every way possible to hurt each other, it would seem," she said pensively.

"'Tis why I was so happy to be away from him for so long. I did not have to see or hear them together. Here I could forget what my marriage has become and will be forevermore."

"My lady, I believe you have an opportunity here. Use it wisely."

With that, she stood, pressed my hand and bid me good night.

The warrior came in later as I stared into the fire, losing myself in the strange dance of the flames.

"It is late for you to be awake," he rumbled at me. "Is everything well with you?"

I nod, reluctant to even speak to him, I'm still so unsettled from my talk with Mrs. Timmon.

"Come, Calissande, I will see you to bed. You need your rest."

He held out his hand to me, and for a brief moment I think about taking it, but then I think about that same hand on her, and I do not want to even look at it, much less touch it.

Ignoring his hand, I push myself up from the chair and make a move to scoot around him but his hands settle on my shoulders gently and stay there even when I try to flinch away from his grasp.

"You do not like it when I touch you outside of the bed chambers, and even there, I must work to get you to accept my touch. Why is that?"

"I would like to go up to my bed now, warrior."

"Look at me and answer my question." At my hesitation, he added, "I will stand here all night until you answer me."

Instead of meeting his eyes, I answer him honestly, my voice low to disguise the pain. "Because all I can think of is your hands on her. Because you have shared what is rightfully mine with another, who you have placed above me. That is why."

"That is your tradition, not mine."

With a shrug, I respond, "You asked and I answered."

"In my tradition, it is a sign of the greatest respect and care for your lady wife. I do with her what I would not do with you out of respect for you being my lady, you whom I hold above all others."

"You are very much mistaken if you think it is out of respect or that you hold me above anyone else."

"You are a lady. I treat you as such in the bed chamber, but what I want to do to you would be a grave insult to a lady, so we have another so we can do to her that which we should not do to a lady wife. And we keep her there with us all night so if we wake hungry, we do not disturb our lady's rest. You get our tenderness and gentleness as befits a lady; she gets treated roughly like a whore."

My heart breaks at his refusal to understand. "There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that you could do to me in the privacy of our chambers that would insult me. It is my tradition that a husband save everything for his wife and her alone. For a husband to take another is the gravest insult you could give to a wife. It shows you do not care for her and it is a complete humiliation to keep her in a separate chamber while you share your bedchamber with another."

"Calissande, you would despise me if you knew the lewd thoughts in my mind, the things I want to do with you."

"No, I would not. Because in our tradition, a mother explains to her daughters how she is to make herself fully available to her husband. Fully available, warrior, which means every opening she has is his for the taking with his mouth or fingers or rod. And sometimes that taking is gentle, but sometimes it is very rough and that it is a wonderful experience because there is love and trust between the two people. And afterwards, your lord husband holds you and tells you of his love and affection and regard for you. There is no shame in the sleeping chambers and I had so been looking forward to sharing all of that with you." I had to calm myself before I could finish. "And then you took what was mine and gave it to another because you did not care for me and did not find me worthy to be your true wife."

Color drained from the warrior's face as he stared at me, unspeaking. Skirting around him, I walked up the stairs to my chambers, and shut and locked the door. I blew out the candles, unlaced my dress and let the tears come.

Once again.