《No Filter x Serial Dating》The Man, The Myth, The Legend
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Zushi: "Killua, you coward! Tell me who's won over your cold, dead heart!"
Killua: "Over MY. DEAD. BODY."
_____
t was the fifth consecutive date Killua had witnessed in the five days he worked that week. If they were all different couples it wouldn't have been odd at all—this was Starbucks, dammit, otherwise known as the epicenter of campus interactions. He took the orders of hundreds of students every day he worked.
What was odd about it, though, was the fact that they were all dates with the same guy, just different partners. Killua wouldn't have thought anything of it if the guy wasn't already a regular, and if Killua didn't already get flustered at the very sight of him.
Gon Freecss, better known as the university's star running back and local heartthrob.
Killua wasn't one to frequent frat row, by any means, but the few times he went he once witnessed Freecss' shirtless and screaming at the top of his lungs from the second story balcony of a frat house before leaping into a bouncy house to the tune of every guy and girl on the lawn shouting his name. Killua had been so alarmed, along with every other student on the sidewalk with him, that when Freecss's head emerged from the bouncy house ball pit, fists in the air, a breath of relief echoed from him to every passing stranger. Freecss' was, practically, the face of their football team. If he broke a leg over a stupid dare at frat parties, it'd be over for their season.
He also just didn't want to picture Freecss' rolling through the Starbucks line in a brace and crutches.
Killua really had no reason to be irked as he pushed out two drinks onto the counter and called out Gon's name for the order, and a preppy, skinny guy came to get it.
"Thanks," the guy said, smiling wide with that perfect blonde hair and cute round glasses.
"No problem," Killua said, frozen in place. He stared after the kid as he went to the bar top in front of the store window where a familiar, black-haired running back sat with his feet perched on the stool spokes. His broad back, that charming, charismatic smile. None of it was fair.
It wasn't that Gon exuded straightness or anything, but coming to terms with the fact that Freecss' was bi was enough to send Killua into a spiraling pit of despair. It was easier to convince himself that he didn't have a shot because of Freecss' sexuality, but now?
He just didn't have a shot because he had the social backbone of a squirrel.
Killua slumped as he returned to the cash register. As if my self-confidence wasn't already down the drain, he mused miserably.
That same day no more than an hour later, Killua could be found slumping in one of the OChem lecture hall seats in the far back of the auditorium. Arms crossed and radiating a brooding, eerie atmosphere—this was precisely how his lab partner Zushi found him.
The kids in their class gave them a wide birth, which left the seat in front of Killua open for the taking. He had his feet kicked up on the seat as Zushi strategically stepped over them as he said, "Is it that guy again?"
"The situation has progressed at an alarming rate," Killua reported, slumping even further. "And not for the better."
"Oh no. What happened?" Zushi whispered. There was a constant murmur in the auditorium, both from the echo, and also from the fact that they were in a lecture hall of approximately three hundred students. Those two factors combined made for a noisy start to the class.
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Killua glared at the stairs where a familiar blonde TA was hiking up to reach them. The TAs tended to claim the back row of the lecture hall, near the back corner where Killua and Zushi sat, so they had become friendly with their lab TA, Kurapika. It was because they were friendly that Kurapika paused a few steps away, alarmed by the murder written on Killua's face.
"What happened. It's not the midterm, is it?" Kurapika said.
"No, I did fine on that," Killua said, only to shrivel again. If just barely, he thought. No one did 'fine' in OChem.
Well, aside from Kurapika.
"It's the guy from Starbucks," Zushi said, facing Killua. He put an arm on the back of his chair as Kurapika proceeded to claim the seat behind them and lean over to listen. "I still don't know his name."
"Well, we can't help without a name," Kurapika said, and Zushi hummed his agreement.
Killua sneered a little. They went to a massive university—largest in the state, actually—so it would have been different if Freecss' wasn't such a prevalent character on campus. Killua wished the damn idiot was unknowable because that way, he could make a fool of himself and not have to worry about seeing the guy again. That way, he could tell Kurapika and Zushi, and neither of them would be able to look Freecss' up and say, "Hey, he's on the Hunter's football team!"
"I don't know his name," Killua lied, as he always did.
"You literally work at Starbucks," Zushi insisted. "You literally write his name every day."
"He's one of those idiots that changes it every time."
"He's lying," Kurapika said, as they always did. "I've never heard a more obvious lie."
Killua twisted around and slapped Zushi's arm off of his chair. Zushi recoiled with a pout, rubbing at his arm as Killua flipped Kurapika off and said, "Call me a liar again and I'll gut you."
"Yeah, and I'll gut your grade," they threatened. They put their hands out with a shrug. "What's the big deal anyway? You really think I'm gonna know who it is?"
"Yeah, obviously. Otherwise I woulda told you a month ago," Killua said.
"As if. I know, like, three people," Kurapika said.
"You're a TA. You know three hundred people and then some," he insisted. As a matter of fact, he wasn't all that sure Kurapika knew who Freecss' was. Chances were, the star football player wasn't even in a science-related major.
"Okay, fair," Kurapika sighed. They leant back in their seat, arms crossed. They pointed a finger at Killua and said, "Still not over it, though."
"What's the development, though? I thought he went on a date yesterday, so what happened today?" Zushi said.
Killua put a hand to his forehead and sighed. He dragged his hand over his eyes so he wouldn't have to see their faces as he said, "He was on a date with a guy this time."
"You're kidding. He's bi?" Kurapika shrieked. Killua's entire body seized up and before he could lunge over his seat to punch them, they jumped forward in their seat and threw their arms up. "Right, okay, sorry. Calming down."
Zushi's eyes were the size of Mars and then, as the knowledge sunk in, became aligned with Jupiter. "You have a shot, dude! Congrats!"
"As if Killua couldn't turn a straight man gay," Kurapika insisted. Killua reached over to slap them upside the head. Kurapika ducked out of the attack to say, "I'm just stating the facts here, all right? Case closed."
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"Case not closed. I'm reopening the case. We're putting the evidence on the table," Killua said, laying his hands flat and spreading them out as if straightening a tablecloth. "For all we know, these aren't even dates. Maybe he's just... buying coffee for all his friends."
"Those are dates, dude," Zushi sighed with a pitiful smile. He shrugged and said, "But you're right. We can't keep assuming the guy's a sleaze."
"We can and we will," Kurapika said.
"I thought you were supposed to be the voice of reason here," Zushi whined.
"This is the only entertainment I get outside of my Friends rerun breaks between studying sessions," Kurapika said. "Grad school can kiss my ass."
"And Starbucks guy? He can kiss Killua's ass," Zushi said with a wink in Killua's direction.
Killua glared at him and said, "I don't know why we're lab partners."
Zushi sighed, slumping in his seat. "You know? I don't know either."
Class commenced and Killua was both grateful and anxious by the distraction. For one, he wouldn't have to think about Freecss' for another hour, but it came at the price of pure, unadulterated torture via carbon compounds and mind-numbing organic chemistry. He riddled his notebook pages with diagrams and numbers and, by the end of lecture, his hand was cramping. When the professor called an end to the lecture, he sat back and stretched his fingers out with a barely concealed groan of contempt as he said, "I'll be forever grateful to whatever god helps me pass the final. I may even believe in a god if I pass."
"I'll believe in agnosticism and nothing else," Zushi sighed. He snapped his notebook shut and said, "That was a little contradictory, wasn't it?"
"Not enough to bother me," Killua said. He rose from his seat and stretched his arms overhead. He folded his arms over his hair and tipped his head towards Zushi. "What're your plans for the rest of the day?"
"Going to the gym."
"Gross. I didn't know you worked out," Killua said. Personally, he had never set foot in a gym in his entire life and had no plans on doing so.
"I don't, but my roommate does. We're meeting up to head back to the dorm for dinner," he said. They waited at the stairs for Kurapika, but a student passed them on the way to where Kurapika was just putting away their laptop. When Kurapika glanced at them from around the student's shoulders, Killua raised a hand as if to say, "Don't worry about it. We'll chat later."
The chaos in the auditorium didn't die down until they were out of the building and a few paces away from the entrance. The sun was shining, and Killua dared call it a lovely day if his heart wasn't so heavy in his chest. He was more hopeless than usual that day, which was odd considering the sort of family life he had as a kid. He really should have been used to this feeling.
Killua walked a ways down the sidewalk at Zushi's side. The sidewalk was flanked by a concrete ledge overlooking the river, and as they went, Killua dragged his fingers across the edge of it.
Zushi cleared his throat. "Hey, you should check out our dining hall tonight. I mean, unless you've got something going on."
"No, nothing planned," he confessed.
"So... Ren Hall for dinner then?" he asked, and when Killua looked at him, he found Zushi beaming at him. Some days, Zushi was just too bright for him to handle, but on that day, it balanced out the dread dragging Killua's hopelessly romantic heart down.
Killua managed a soft smile as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, sure. That sounds good."
Zushi, quite literally, leapt with excitement. Killua let out a startled laugh, only to scream when Zushi threw himself at Killua before vaulting on the stone ledge beside the sidewalk. Killua staggered to the side, spinning from the weight of his backpack throwing him off-kilter. Zushi cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted at the river, "YAY, I'M SO EXCITED!"
Killua yanked on Zushi by the hem of his sweatshirt, hissing, "Kid! Shut up and get down from there!"
Students on the sidewalk were looking at them—some laughing, some annoyed, but Zushi didn't care. He ran down the concrete ledge with Killua at his heels before at last jumping down and throwing an arm over Killua's shoulders. Killua wasn't all that much taller than Zushi, but the height difference was enough to make the scenario comical.
"You finally get to meet my roommate! I keep telling you—I think you two would get along swimmingly. He's probably, maybe straight, but I'm sure there's some merit to what Kurapika's saying."
"You're straight and I haven't turned you gay," Killua said.
"I know, and I'm grateful for that," Zushi said. "You have a heart of gold, truly. I wouldn't trade you for the world."
"Now you're just being cheesy," he said.
"You use your attractiveness for good, not evil."
"I... wouldn't say it's evil, necessarily..." Killua said to avoid acknowledging the compliment. He appreciated the fact that Zushi wasn't the type of guy to say No Homo and peace out of the conversation.
Zushi thumped him on the chest before backing off with a shrug. "Just saying. He's single, I'm single, we're all single. We are just a solo men's club, the four of us."
"What four?"
"You, me, my roommate, and Leorio."
Killua laughed at the mention of his roommate. Leorio Paladiknight, otherwise known as the Resident Dad and Resident Assistant on his floor. The only reason Zushi even knew Leorio was by pure coincidence. Killua and Zushi had been studying in the Hatsu Hall study room when Leorio crashed in with a roar that shot Zushi's soul straight out of his body and onto the Moon. They really hadn't talked aside from that one interaction, but Zushi was convinced that Leorio Paladiknight was now a permanent member of the OChem Struggle Squad.
As Killua tried in vain to argue against Leorio's inclusion in the matter, they crossed the campus in no time. Zushi would have none of it. "That man is the face of a nation. He could probably command the entire dorm swear loyalty to him and they would."
"The only reason he'd be able to command it is because of that distracting voice of his," Killua said. "Talking normally is whispering to him. We're all lucky he doesn't have a roommate or else we'd hear him blabbering on from down the hall!"
"What'd I tell ya! The guy's made for big crowds and leading the people."
"As if he'd run for management, let alone student president. You know he's only an RA to pay for housing," Killua said, but he couldn't deny the fact that every kid on his floor loved Leorio. Leorio didn't get the title Resident Dad for nothing. He rolled his eyes and said, "Well, the guy could probably put his fist through a wall and everyone would cheer. If that doesn't scream charisma I don't know what does."
"Fascinating."
"You know, one time, I was half naked, swapping boxers, and this idiot barges into my room saying it's Smash Bros time because evidently that's a thing that happens every fucking weekend and I'm over here like, 'Sounds gay, I'm in,' but insert me in nothing but a pair of Waluigi boxers—"
"Wait, why Waluigi?"
"Because they're purple. We've been over this, Zushi. Anyway—"
"What about Smash Bros is gay?"
"Zushi, do you not have ears? Listen to me say the name. Listen, listen—Smash. Bros."
"Sounds gay to me." The voice certainly wasn't Zushi.
Zushi shrieked like a school girl and slapped a hand over his mouth. Killua cursed and spun around, only to curse again because he was so close to putting God on the phone and saying, "I'll see you in court, bitch." Killua truly did feel haunted by his past mistakes if this was what Karma served him on a silver platter made of Gon Freecss and his own social incompetence.
It took Killua a solid second to come to terms with the fact that he was within spitting distance of The Man Himself. The Hunter Legend, University Football Star, the one, the only, Gon-fucking-Freecss standing on the steps of the university gym like he was supposed to be there, within Killua's general vicinity.
Killua said the first thing that came to mind. "Excuse me?" As much as he regretted the sass, he figured he might as well get it out in the open and flush it out of his system. He was determined to make a good impression even if his self-control screamed otherwise.
Freecss' was just standing there, looking between Killua and Zushi before taking the final few steps down to them. He had a hand hooked on the strap of a gym duffle slung over his solid, stocky shoulder. His eyes were bright and, in the sunlight, a light amber. It was the first time Killua had seen them in person beyond Starbucks lighting. All this time he had thought they were just plain brown.
Not that... there's anything wrong with plain brown eyes. Evidently I'm more of a hoe for brown eyes anyway, he thought.
His existential crisis lasted all of five seconds before Freecss was talking again and pointing a finger at him. "Oh, hey, barista guy!"
Barista guy? he thought, eyes wide. Fuck, he recognizes me. Shit. Crisis mode initiated once again.
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