Y/N's Pov:

I walk back home after that entire fiasco. Why is it so hard to exist?

I grab the keys from my pocket and open the front door to my house.

Sigh

"Hey mom, I'm home," I say to my mom who is laying on the couch, looking tired.

My mom looks at me. And I know that look. It's the look that's gonna give me rip my heart into pieces.

"Great, so the burden finally appears. I'm working late because of you. You get to sit at home and do nothing while I go to work. I bet you don't even have half the problems I have. My life is completely ruined because of you. If only I didn't give birth to you..." My mom starts going off at me. It's always like this, right after I finish school and when she's back from home. She uses me as an emotional punching bag. She blames me for everything wrong in her life and

I'm just a kid.

I start dissociating as she scolds me. Obviously, I know that nothing she says is true but it still hurts coming from her. I know she's narcissistic and toxic. And I also know I don't want to be here with her. After she's done, I start walking up the stairs to my room.

"We are moving"

I stop climbing up the stairs midway.

"I said we are moving to another place loser, pack your bags" my mother screams at me.

I look at her shocked, no way. We can't move.

" I'm tired of this place, and I'm tired of living here. We are going to live with your dad. I told the school already, pack your stuff. The moving trucks are coming tomorrow." She spits out the word as if she's too bothered to explain to me.

I say okay and start walking up the stairs. I feel like things are falling apart one by one. I won't be able to see Yamaguchi again. I won't be able to say I love him. I quickly rip open my drawer and take out a paper to write my confession. I feel like I should let him know that somebody loved him. I'll sneak into school tomorrow and give it to him, I know he will stop by the convenience store later. I may not be able to say "I love you" face to face but I can leave him a letter.

Dear Yamaguchi Tadashi,

You may not know and we may not have spoken but I love you.

From the beginning of the year, till now. I have been always in love with you.

You are beautiful. People can say pretty, handsome, or smart, or anything. But when I call someone beautiful, I feel everything about then is really amazing. So you are beautiful, absolutely beautiful...

"what are you writing," my mom asks as she leans on my door frame.

"Ooo a letter," she says as she snatches it from my table.

"Give it back" I try to say as politely as possible.

"Dear Yamaguchi Tadashi, You may... I love you...HAHAHA, are you really thinking of confessing to a boy, with that face,with that body? Do you think he will like you? I think he would be disgusted to get it from someone as boring as you..." she speaks all those words dipped in acid with a cocky smirk.

I struggled quite hard to make sure the tears don't fall, I look down at my hand. I dig my nails into the palms of my hands.

"You should know better than to go bother someone with yourself." She says as she crumples my letters and throws into the rubbish bin.

Slam

The door shuts and I hope she doesn't come back. I tell myself I won't cry because of her again. I pick up the letter and complete writing it. Tears spill onto the paper as I write each word.

I can't be really thinking of sending this cant I? I put the paper away in my journal. I push my chair and jump onto my bed.

She's right I cant burden anyone anymore, especially Yamaguchi I can't burden him.

author's note:

11 Nov 2020

Wow,y/n has a toxic family? yes, She does. I never stated in the bio of this book because I don't want y/n to be defined by her toxic parents but by herself alone. Don't worry, her toxic parents won't play a big part in the book. The love story is gonna get lovelier sooner, who knows you might see punk yams transformation (❁'◡'❁) and we are gonna get more cutesy and love scene. Yams and y/n will.... omg it's a secret read to find out hehehehe. I've been updating almost every day because of the nice comments. I know I broke your heart last chapter and I still am but it's all apart of the glow up baby (¬‿¬) I wonder how the new yams would be? cold? stern? arrogant? heartbreaker? yes ;) Let me get into the MEAT of it, baby. 😎😎😎

thanks for reading :))