Today was my day off so I had decided to go spend the day with my mom. I wasn't in the mood to spend my time with my mom in a nursing home today so I asked her doctor if she was allowed to go out, to which she gave me the go ahead. As long as we didn't have her exert herself too much or do anything that could be straining to the hurt I could take her out.

I just wanted to have fun with mom today after all these years of not being able to do much together, so at first we went to a game arcade which was actually more fun than I thought it would be. The fact that mom kicked my butt at almost every single game, no matter how simple it was had me in surprise. I had told her that the next time we hang out she would definitely have to teach me how to be a pro like her. Afterwards we went to the park and got ice cream. I wasn't sure if mom was allowed to eat ice cream with her condition but she reassured me that she could and that she had a heart issue and not diabetes. Leave it to my mom to be witty like that.

"Sweetie what's wrong?" Mom asked me out of the blue.

"What? What do you mean?" I asked looking at her confused.

"I may have been deprived of spending the last 6years with you but I've known you all your life and I know when something is up with you" mom replied looking directly at me.

I just had to admire how beautiful she was. I could only imagine what she was like when she was younger or even my age. She must've broken a lot of hearts back then. Especially for those guys who had no chance whatsoever with her. Speaking of guys and my mom, for the first time in years I wondered what was it like when my mom met my father.

See, I had no idea who my father was. I grew up with just my mom until she got married to my stepfather who turned out to be a selfish ass years after. You know how most kids would asked about their father and such? I was never one of those kids. My mom never talked about my father and I had never once asked I just knew my mom was a teenage mom. Mom had me when she was eighteen years old, even in regards to other family members I had no idea about them. I only knew my mom as the only family member, I didn't know if she had other family or relatives alive and I never asked. Mom was always the best mom she could be, she gave me everything and all her love I never once felt like I was missing anything or anyone growing up. I never inquired about her family or my Dad before, because growing up I never wanted to make her feel awkward about having to answer my questions. Even when I had noticed the differences between the two of us eyes, I never question it. Mom had brown eyes and I had sky blue eyes, I only assumed that whoever my father was, he had blue eyes too or maybe someone from her family. Mom and I had similar features and characteristics but one major difference was our eyes. I was always curious about things but never wanted to asked but today was just one of those days where I wanted to know everything.

"Mom can I ask you something?" I sighed looking at her.

"Of course Amy, you know you can talk to me about anything" mom replied taking one of my hand in hers.

"I don't want you to feel awkward or guilty or anything. I just need to know the truth, I think I deserve to know after 22years now" I said to her. "Mom, what was my father like?"

The looks on my mom's face was shock, surprise, confused everything. It was like she was frozen at the moment and it made me feel guilty at the moment. If she never talked about it before it was probably because she wanted to forget, maybe it was an extremely bad or traumatic experience and I had just reminded her of it.

"You know... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. Can we just forget it?" I quickly announced.

"No, no. Its okay, you deserve to know" mom finally replied. "It was selfish of me never to have told you about him before. I was always worried about the moment that you'd asked this question growing up as a kid, buy I was quite surprised that you never did. I haven't thought about how hard it may have been for you not knowing anything".

" I never wanted you to feel awkward or guilty in anyway mom. But I've always wanted to know..."

"I met your father when I was eighteen years old, back in Barbados..." Mom began.

"The Caribbean!?" I practically yelled in shock. "You've been to the Caribbean?"

"I'm from the Caribbean" mom replied surprising me completely.

"What!? But you...we...how?" I stuttered stunned. "How is it that I never knew that? I thought you were born here in the US"

"I was born here, but I grew up in Barbados. My parents were from Barbados, mom came here to visit when she was pregnant with me and happened to give birth here which automatically makes me a citizen but I grew up in Barbados and occasionally I had to come back to the US being that I was born here" mom told me.

All this new revelations just brought up new questions. Like what happened to my grandparents, did mom have any siblings or other family or relatives. If so, were they still alive?

"What happened? Are they still alive? Did you have any other siblings or relatives? How come you ended up back here alone? Why haven't you told me about anyone before" I asked question after question.

"Wow, those are a lot of questions" mom said letting out a nervous chuckle.

"Sorry, it's just that there's so much... so much I don't know. So much I'd want to know and this is my only chance to learn at least half of the story" I responded.

"I had an older brother- Marten. He was five years older than I. And yes we had other family members but when I left and move here. I never returned to Barbados and I never kept in touch so as much as I've always hoped for the best, I don't know anything about them now or if they're alive" mom confessed.

"What? How is that so? Mom what happened?" I asked curious but saddened by her confession.

"Amy, sweetie...you're the best thing that has ever happened to me but...but when I got pregnant with you, I was so embarrassed.... I had embarrassed my family and Dad and Marten was super mad at me... I just couldn't stay and face them anymore" mom said to me

When I didn't responded but continued staring at her expectantly, she continued, answering my unasked questions.

"My parents were strongly dedicated and committed Christians. I've always thought that they were too overbearing at times though... I wasn't the typical teenager growing up, you could say I lived a somewhat sheltered life. I wasn't allowed to party like most teenagers, I wasn't even allowed to date. I had recently finished high school and was working my summer job at my family's restaurant..."

"Your parents owned a restaurant?" I asked quite interested in this new discovery.

"Yeah" mom nodded with a smile. "Stewart's variety diner...don't question the name"

"I won't" I chuckle. "So what then?"

"It was in July and I was supposed to be attending university in a month and few weeks. I was working at the restaurant and that's where I met your father" mom informed. "He came in one morning afternoon for lunch and I happened to be his waitress and that's where it all began... He was an older guy and he was really handsome... He asked me out and being the silly inexperienced lovestruck teen that I was, I said yes. I had just catch 18 and was excited to go on a first date. And I thought, how could I say no to those gorgeous blue eyes".

"Blue eyes? Like mine?" I asked finally figuring out the mystery behind my eye color. "Is that where I got my eyes from?"

"Yeah" mom nodded. "It was the exact color like yours. They were so beautiful,they had me mesmerized... I was allowed to go and my first date with him but my parents didn't like it one bit especially after having found out that he was older than I was and wasn't a Christian... I wasn't allowed to go out with him again but I liked him. He was sweet, so I continued to see him sneaking around behind my parents back. We had hung out for maybe a month when things got a bit too far too soon..."

"You slept with him" I said in understanding of what she meant.

"I wasn't proud of it. I mean I was brought up in a Christian home, you know with parents who were against sex out of marriage. And even worst, I barely knew the guy for a couple weeks and I allowed him to do something like that... About two weeks after it had happened we continued hanging out without my parents knowledge, he got a call one afternoon while we were hanging out and that's how I found out he was married".

"Oh my God" I said in disbelief. "Mom, no wonder you never talked about him. He was an absolute a-hole. What a jerk".

" I called him all the names I could think of, I was beyond hurt and betrayed and heartbroken" mom replied. "But I don't know what I had expected anyway, I never really knew him. A few days after he stopped by the restaurant to see me. I raised hell and Iman-one of the workers there had to tell him to leave. Before he left he said he was going back home and he was sorry. It was the last time I heard or seen him, not that I would want to after what happened anyway"

"A month later when I was preparing to go off to university that's when everything came crashing down"

"You found out you were pregnant with me" I guessed to which mom nodded in confirmation.

"Actually my mother found out. Based on her experience with pregnancy and the signs I was displaying she figured it out and have me brought to the doctor who confirmed her biggest fear" mom replied "She cried. My mom actually cried when she found out I was pregnant. And then when she had to told my father and Marten about it, that was the worst. I knew they were disappointed and embarrassed by me and even more when they asked about the father. They were so mad and I was embarrassed that I embarrassed them, knowing they would have to face a lot of criticism from other relatives, friends and other church members knowing I had gotten pregnant by some guy I hardly knew and wasn't even present anymore. And they were so proud of me getting into university and knowing the pregnancy would change all that. I came here, instead of staying and allowing anyone to find out. When I had you I knew I couldn't return either so that's how you never got the opportunity like most kids to meet a father or any other family members... Sweetie I'm so sorry, I know this..."

"Mom no. You don't have to apologize" I reassured her. "You were young, you made a mistake... No one is perfect we all make mistakes..."

"No Amy... You weren't a mistake" mom said to me. "A surprise? Yes but I never thought of you as a mistake. If I could go back and do things over I probably would've done the same thing. Amy I wouldn't give you up for nothing".

" Oh mom, I love you " I said as I throw my arms around her and resting my head on her stomach. "I understand why you did what you did, and it doesn't change how I think or feel about you-it only makes me love you more. You had to give up your whole life to be there for me, you could've taken the easy way out and have an abortion buy you didn't. And I have to respect you for that, you were always the best mom ever"

"I love you too my baby. I would never given you up for anything. I'm just so sorry I couldn't be there for you for the past years and you got thrown into the life you had to live" mom replied hugging me to her.

"It wasn't your fault mom, and I never blamed you one day for it" I told her.

"It was my fault. If I never married that bastard and brought him into your life that would've never happened to you. So I want to let you know that I'm so sorry for all the pain and shame he caused you" mom replied running her hand up and down my back in a comforting gesture. "If I could go back and change one thing. Bringing that jerk into our lives would be the major change I'd make... I just guess I had bad taste in men".

"That makes two of us" I mumbled.

"Huh? Are you having guy trouble?" Mom asked.

"You could say that" I said as I got up to look at her. "You see mom, there's this guy..."

And I proceeded to tell her about Matthew, I was glad I never had to hide things like this from my mom. It would make things so much harder not having anyone to confide in.