I don't regret choosing you as my secretary... he always said those words whenever you did something good.

You never would have thought that those were trigger words. It's no wonder you became excited whenever you heard him say that. Your heart would beat a little faster, and your lips curl up in a shy smile.

You loved it especially when he patted your head, you loved the feeling of his fingers running through your hair. It was always something you enjoyed, maybe even thought about before going to sleep.

That night also haunts you. Laying in the futon, a warm body pressing against your back. Your breathing was increasing after feeling every caress, slide, and grope of his grabby hands. His feet wouldn't stop bumping with yours and he would continue to poke fun at you from your girlish reactions. Those sadistic jokes and heated whispers were fluttering against your ear, it just gave you goosebumps.

He called you adorable. He liked the way you responded to his flirtatious words. He was even jealous at the thought of you being embraced by another man other than himself.

Are you kidding? A powerful person like him, jealous? Why would he worry about such a thing? After all, you dedicated your life to serving that Fatui. That would even include serving your superior.

Finally, that intense, passionate, almost loving kiss... Actually, you didn't want to think about it anymore.

Even though in the morning he confessed his true feelings towards you, it didn't feel right. He was your boss, superior, after all. A relationship between a Harbinger and secretary-assistant is impossible. It was looked down upon in the military.

If only things were different. Maybe if you two didn't meet in the Fatui, things would have been different. It would have been nice getting along with Scaramouche outside all the formalities and titles. Perhaps you would have been in a romantic relationship with him without any prejudice?

It would have been normal. It would have been perfect. It's just a Snezhnayan girl and an Inazuman boy in love. What's so wrong with that? You just wanted to be with him normally. It's so unfair.

Every time you close your eyes, you could see him standing there, waiting for you to walk back to him. His face is just a blur.

You're feeling exhausted.

Scaramouche must be angry.

You're wondering where he is now.

Scaramouche probably wants you dead.

•••

You were somewhere in Liyue's wilderness, it was hard to pinpoint a place on the map because you literally didn't know where you were. It's been about half a day and the sun was slowly setting over the mountains, painting the sky into a beautiful purple colour.

Lumine pointed to a large tree a few meters away and told you her party members were waiting behind it. There was an uncomfortable expression on your face as you reluctantly followed her.

Three people came into view.

"Traveller, you're back from your food delivery...! Huh?"

"My liege, you've been followed! Watch out!"

"I remember you, Fatui scum."

As you slowly raised your hands to show you were unarmed, the three took Lumine and stood in beside her protectively. All kinds of weapons were being pointed at you: a polearm, a sword, and a claymore.

As you meekly glanced up to make eye contact, your suspicions were correct. Lumine's team was indeed the trio of best friends, how unlucky could you get? You remembered them well and surely, they remembered you too.

The spear user, Xiangling, the master chef of the Wanmin restaurant. Although it felt like such a long time ago, it was clear that seeing you brought back the bad memory of you eating her Chop Suey, and leaving without paying. Well, it wasn't exactly your fault, it was Scaramouche's idea to bait her into dropping her guard.

Next, the young man with the sword, Xingqiu, the avid bookworm who was there that day too. You recalled how he and Scaramouche had tension between each other as they discussed the couples' discount. The way you so easily lied to him was just as painful to see him pointing his weapon at you.

Finally, the exorcist, Chongyun, your opponent from before. You remembered shooting two weak shots at him, which did little to no damage to him. There was also a moment when Scaramouche was about to fight him on your behalf. By the look of Chongyun's angry expression, it was obvious that he greatly disliked you.

"Everyone, please drop your weapons," Lumine intervened, motioning everyone to back off. "This is [Y/N], a Fatui soldier. She's a friend now."

As Xingqiu sheathed his sword, he said, "First that Fatui diplomat, Childe, and now a soldier? I do not like the people you are making friends with, my liege."

"[Y/N] is currently on the run from her boss, who wants to hurt her. Please show some kindness... She needs our help." Lumine gave you a sad smile.

Xiangling placed her spear away, eyes beaming your direction, "Y'know, you and your partner caused a mass panic in the Harbour?! The Millelith has been turning the place upside down looking for both of you!"

"I've heard that too, but..." Lumine sighed. "We can't let the Millelith arrest [Y/N]. The plan is to hide her until the Harbingers stop their search... Once the Millelith see [Y/N] with me, they won't see her as a threat anymore."

"Traveller," Chongyun spoke up, claymore still in his hands. "Are you suggesting we hide this Fatui girl in the city? In my opinion, I am against your idea. We should turn her in."

"I am helping a friend in need." Lumine tried her best to explain your situation without giving away too much. "[Y/N] is running away from her boss because of a secret she found out, which included her brother. Because I'm thinking about my own brother, I want to make sure she gets back home to him."

Two-thirds of the trio looked convinced. The blue-haired male was still giving you a dirty look but stuck his weapon into the ground. Chongyun leaned to the side and crossed his arms, shaking his head in disapproval.

You felt yourself gulp nervously, his cold attitude was making you shiver, and that's rare. You've never been this anxious around someone other than Scaramouche.

"She's a part of the Fatui," Chongyun repeated.

"Regardless if she's Fatui, she's a part of our team now. We need to protect each other, alright?"

"You're very kind, Lumine, however..." You breathed out slowly. "It's not a surprise I'm not wanted in Liyue..."

"Exactly," Chongyun muttered before his cat-like eyes widened mockingly. "Oh, where's your darling, by the way? Your Inazuman partner with the hat. Don't tell me you're running away from him."

His words cut you deeply. Not only were you heartbroken about separating from Scaramouche, remembering the little show you two put on in the Wanmin Restaurant was almost painful. The fact that his acting was genuine, made you feel sick to the stomach.

Chongyun let out a small chuckle when you turned away from him to hide the tears that were pricking your eyes, "I knew he was your superior, my gut feeling was right. So, Fatui girl, are you going to shoot me or wait for his command?"

"That topic is off-limits." Lumine ruled out and looked at the trio. "Let's stop talking about [Y/N]'s boss and find a place to rest. It's dangerous to travel during the night especially when we have other Fatui agents searching for her. Let's go."

The party members glanced at each other briefly, looked at you and Lumine, then proceeded to stare at one another. After a five-second silent debate, the three of them collectively agreed to pick up their belongings and weapons to prepare for travel.

You awkwardly shuffled your feet together, not knowing what to do as the rest of the team did their own thing. The blonde glanced in your direction and gave you a comforting smile, reassuring you that she was on your side.

Xiangling had finished packing up the food for the journey and Xingqiu tucked away a map of, you guessed, the nation as he memorized the way to the destination. Chongyun, on the other hand, continued to stare at you as he wiped dirt from the blade of his claymore.

No words can describe how uncomfortable you were feeling right now. Not only did you feel like an outsider, but you could also feel some sort of dread knowing they probably weren't fond of people of your background. If they didn't like Childe, who was quite handsome and insanely rich, it wouldn't be a surprise if they didn't like you either.

Xingqiu began leading the way to the rest stop camping grounds, Xiangling followed right after him.

Chongyun started to walk away as well but not forgetting to purposefully bump his shoulder with yours and lean in close, "If I were you, I would go back to Snezhnaya."

You didn't even bother standing up for yourself. The feeling of guilt and self-loathing were eating you up alive. A person like you obviously stands out among the people of Liyue. You were different and all the more, unspoken enemies with the Millelith. You would go back to Snezhnaya, if you didn't betray Scaramouche.

Lumine saw that interaction between you and Chongyun and made her way towards you. She placed a gentle hand on your arm and comforted you, "He's not usually like that, he's very friendly, don't worry. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but just remember that I'm here for you, [Y/N]."

It's because I'm Fatui, no need to sugar coat it...

There was nothing left in the rendezvous-point to pack up and it was time to leave.

As all of you resumed the journey on the dirt road, you couldn't help but stray away from the group, lagging behind.

The trio of best friends noticed you were far from the group but didn't bother with it, tension was still hanging in the air. Once they believed that you were out of earshot, they began talking amongst themselves.

"Hey, try to be a bit more welcoming." Xiangling patted Chongyun's shoulder to loosen him up.

"Ah, dear Chongyun, this is the first time I've seen you get so heated about a girl," Xingqiu joked. "I suggest trying to be a little nicer."

The young man dug into his pouch to retrieve a popsicle, "Why should I? She's Fatui and I won't forget that time when she attacked you guys. She had her weapons aimed at the two of you with the intent to kill."

"Chongyun," Lumine said sternly, walking faster to catch up with him. "Can we talk?"

The exorcist raised an eyebrow as he licked the icy treat.

"[Y/N] is a friend that needs our help. Please, learn how to control yourself. She's already been through so much..."

"Hmph..." He bit into his popsicle and broke off a piece, chewing on it irritably.

Lumine shook her head at his lack of response, "If you can't get along I suggest you just ignore her."

He finished the popsicle within seconds and then, to everyone's surprise, snapped the wooden stick between his fingers with only one hand, obviously annoyed.

Both Xiangling and Xingqiu had their eyes wide from Chongyun's sudden, out of character, reaction and chose to say nothing. Lumine continued to be firm, not backing down from her statement.

"Well, anything else to say?" She challenged him. "I will not tolerate any bullying in my party."

"Listen, Traveller. If that Fatui girl does anything that puts me or my friends in danger," Chongyun sighed shakily, clearly overwhelmed by his emotions. "I will not hesitate to purge her. I'm serious."

He said those last few words a little too loudly to make sure that you heard him and you did. You couldn't even be mad at Chongyun for hating you. The most you could do was stand back and be quiet, letting your gaze fall to the ground out of shame.