《Layers Of Suffering (Tokoyami BNHA)》Comment On My Story... (Not A Chapter)
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Latest update: 28/9/19
Firstly, I have to apologise for those who are expecting a new chapter to arrive. I hate authors notes, but I feel this is a required step to take to further improve my story.
Since it's the first time I am creating a fanfic, I would like to ask a few questions about my story.
Lately, I've been feeling that I am dragging the story for a bit too long.
I have a few options that states the problem of my work.
1. Too many flashbacks.
2. Doesn't get to the point fast.
3. Confusing, hard to understand.
4. Illogical events, plot holes.
5. Redundant events.
6. Drabby events. Boring or too factual.
7. Lack of humour.
8. Bad English. Sentence structure, Grammer, spelling or incorrect use of vocabulary or words.
9. Storyline isn't impactful, too less emotion or description.
10. Any other criticisms.
Either state the numbers (can be more than one) you agree on, preferably with explanations but totally fine with just numbers.
Of course, if you feel that any of the points stated or other points that you think I did well in my story. Feel free to mention it if you do want to point it out.
Using these criticism, I may either try to improve future chapters or try to rewrite entire chapters if the chapters become too bland to continue. (probably either a separate chapter in the same story or if a chapter is seriously too bad, replace an existing chapter with the edited version.)
I want my readers to be a part of the story, ending it appropriately with lots of emotion and passion.
Seriously, thank you for reading my Fanfic. I hope I have entertained you well with my story and have a great day ahead.
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Rebirth – City Cultivation
Great Cultivator Chen Fan had failed his Tribulation period, but after a dream, he had returned to Earth, when he was young, five hundred years ago. “In my past life, I reached the peak in the universe. I looked down upon the myriad of worlds, but with no one accompanying me. In this life, I wish for both.”
8 545Like Staring at the Sun
The life Mira built for herself was going well until she came face to face with Torrin: the man that killed her brother. Not only does the princess she serves order her to refrain from killing him, but she has also ordered Mira to work with him in order to stop Silas, a Jinura rebel determined to reverse the balance of power in a world that oppressed people like him; people bearing a gift from the gods. Meanwhile, Torrin's life has never been worse. The rebellion he believed in for years proved to be nothing but a different form of the same tyranny and the man he loved like a father nothing but the manipulating tyrant at its head. And now, the girl he once called friend would love nothing more than to kill him while he slept.
8 131Post War Rules
Life on Torus Terminal is usually fast paced, but simple. A frontier Terminal has little room for easy living, but the great, circular station does boast shopping and culinary experiences from many Imperial races and cultures. Any star is, by its nature, extremely far from its neighbors. But laser highways, and the great shimmering sails of the light-rider spaceships make the trip into only about ten years. Still, the denizens of Torus Terminal eagerly await the day when the Anti-Euclidean Engine their station is built around finally comes online. Once that is done, they will have unfettered access to the entire Empire. Instantaneous travel and trade across hundreds of stars. Torus Terminal does boast one other oddity: a creature which calls itself Human. As he says, the last of his kind for now. He has made quite the life for himself on Torus Terminal, especially in the darker corners of the station. The elites of Torus Terminal praise his name, for once he took up arms, crime began to fall. What they did not realize was that was because he had claimed the seedy underbelly of Torus Terminal for himself and his own goals. The elites praise him as a paragon of law. The criminals fear him as a ruthlessly clever crime boss. Those closest to him, know him as the General. This story was originally posted on the Humanity Fuck Yeah subreddit, where it evolved from a simple play on a historical figure in a science fiction setting into a full blown space opera. I kind of took it as an opportunity to explore a setting I've had rolling around in my head for years. I also decided that it would be nice to have it in a place where I could more easily come back and edit it later, so I'm reposting it here. Here's a link to the original posting if you're interested: https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/e9cwpl/post_war_rules/ If my genre and tagging is subpar, let me know. I'm still new to Royal Road and I'm open to help. Feel free to comment and make suggestions, or discuss. I love comments, and so long as we keep things civil I also love criticism.
8 116Fae
A human is reincarnated as a caterpillar and the world tilts a little to the left. Posted simultaneously on Scribblehub under the same name and username. Cover picture kindly provided by gej302.
8 146When Goblins Attack
The first sequel to The Art of Being Entreri When goblins are found in the nearby mountains, Entreri is hesitant to offer aid, but when a group of soldiers is captured and the town's security is threatened, he is forced into action. Complicating his efforts is the presence of Elliorn, the ranger who swore to hunt the assassin down and kill him. Entreri must find a way to rescue the men and kill the goblins and the frost giant in charge while avoiding capture from the ranger.
8 195The antagonist's daughter
Kana had partaken in the design of a certain RPG game. However, right after its release she mysteriously loses consciousness. By the time she regained her senses, she finds herself in the middle of an assassination, while being on the way to an interview in the body of a background game character whose father is the main antagonist (to be?)…with the crown prince no less! What will she, Charlotte Ionesse, do? Will she do nothing and wait for death while hoping this is a dream? Or struggle and escape?
8 157