《Layers Of Suffering (Tokoyami BNHA)》Comment On My Story... (Not A Chapter)
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Latest update: 28/9/19
Firstly, I have to apologise for those who are expecting a new chapter to arrive. I hate authors notes, but I feel this is a required step to take to further improve my story.
Since it's the first time I am creating a fanfic, I would like to ask a few questions about my story.
Lately, I've been feeling that I am dragging the story for a bit too long.
I have a few options that states the problem of my work.
1. Too many flashbacks.
2. Doesn't get to the point fast.
3. Confusing, hard to understand.
4. Illogical events, plot holes.
5. Redundant events.
6. Drabby events. Boring or too factual.
7. Lack of humour.
8. Bad English. Sentence structure, Grammer, spelling or incorrect use of vocabulary or words.
9. Storyline isn't impactful, too less emotion or description.
10. Any other criticisms.
Either state the numbers (can be more than one) you agree on, preferably with explanations but totally fine with just numbers.
Of course, if you feel that any of the points stated or other points that you think I did well in my story. Feel free to mention it if you do want to point it out.
Using these criticism, I may either try to improve future chapters or try to rewrite entire chapters if the chapters become too bland to continue. (probably either a separate chapter in the same story or if a chapter is seriously too bad, replace an existing chapter with the edited version.)
I want my readers to be a part of the story, ending it appropriately with lots of emotion and passion.
Seriously, thank you for reading my Fanfic. I hope I have entertained you well with my story and have a great day ahead.
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Jank
A collection of Gamelit short stories
8 197Otherworldly
Eunora Dawn is just a child. She was born a noble in the kingdom of Maeve, with 5 siblings and a shy personality. At a glance, her life was meant to be rosy. But, when Eunora unlocks the [System] on her 7th birthday, she gains more than she expected. Memories of her past life as a strong-willed and fulfilled woman flood her mind and all but overwrite her personality. Filled with existential dread and grief over losing her past loved ones, Eunora goes from an innocent child filled with hope for her family to someone who is just trying to keep herself afloat in a strange world that almost seems too awful to be true. With her sudden change in personality, as two individuals become one within Eunora, she has to find something she cares about. Anything. As long as it gets her out of bed. Eunora loved her life in the Before -and she’s not looking forward to growing up again. All Maeve has shown her is neglect and longing, and after living a life of privilege she’ll need to adjust. PSA: it's not a joke when it says her biggest struggle is getting out of bed! As with anything, the stakes eventually raise, but it's a slow-ish build up!
8 146Killing Zombies Is Like A Game?!
Tsk, all I wanted to do was stay home and relax with some video games but life said 'Fuck you and your desires.' The first thing they threw into my path was the tech nerd who does nothing but annoy me and threathen to turn my computer into a robot. And you ask what's the second thing they threw to fuck up my day? Well, they turned the whole world into a zombie infested playground. Want to know the kicker? They gave me a system so you know what I'm gonna do? I'm going to treat these zombies like it's just one damn game!
8 108Eraw : The secret raven
The story talks about the life of a small person who transcends the war. From a boy with a life like a slave to a trainee with a strong heart and a strong determination to overcome his hopes to achieve what he wrote, the blood flowing deep into the water, integrating with every life. tightly Although the flock was still fascinated, it was as cold as the first wind in the hibernation season. The beautiful black sword stripped the body from its sheath, the night sky closed down, the fog closed down on that land for eternity ... A boy named Temma is an eight-year-old boy who is diverted from his life with the war going on in his village. The survivors were arrested and brought back to the capital and exchanged for slavery. He served the Su Su home for more than five years before being resold due to repeated mistakes in his work, but in the meantime, it happened that changed the story of this boy forever. Even individuals or individuals may not know where this path will end ...
8 132Games of Galdric
Have you ever thought what would it be to be part of a game? To escape this boring reality and enter a world of adventure?This is the story of a boy whose only dream is to play a VRMMORPG (Virtual Reality Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) good enough to make him think that he is in another world.One day he finally gets his golden opportunity when he is accepted in the beta of """"Gambling of the Gods"""" the VRMMORPG that is expected to break the barrier between reality and fiction for once. What he didn't know is that he was going to be part of something much bigger and important: a human experiment that made 200 teenagers involve in a game of death.
8 282Nezu-Sensei MOST WANTED!!! (Assassination Classroom x mha)
When a mysterious creature sends a rocket to the moon and made it explode and into a permanent crescent, the students of class 1-A of UA find themselves confronted with an enormous task: assassinate the creature responsible for the disaster before Earth suffers a similar fate.However the monster also known as a chimera and their teacher is extremly intelligent. It is not that easy making the worlds most wanted person to recondiser his plans and restore his faith into humanity again.Izuku Midoriya was different then the rest of his class. While everyone was out to kill their Sensei, he was the only one that wanted to find a different way.Follow Izuku as he tries to find a way to save earth and not kill his most favorite teacher on earth. What a dilema he found himself in.A/N:
8 157