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Ariel's POV

They told me the plan but honestly, I didn't listen. I didn't care. When I got there, I knew I would not be able to hold back. I already told Justin and Parker and they understand. I will follow up until the part where surprise is no longer a thing we must consider and then all I will do is rage. There is nothing anyone can do to stop me from getting my Raphael back.

They tried a new kind of torture, it left me so exhausted, Parker called the pack doctor.

Which of course I resented, but I was told I'll be okay but this one may take some time to heal from. This one... this one was so bad I felt myself wanting to die, the only thing that stopped me is my mate. I had a man to save. He had it worse than I, and I wanted to die... Raphael...

I sit in bed, bored out of my mind as my wolf works on blocking Raphael's new pain. Parker plays cards with me, but he sucks so it's no fun beating him. And I mean he sucks at every single damn card game we try. Even Go Fish! How can you be bad at Go Fish? I kick him off the bed and tell him to get me something to eat.

"Why can't you?" He whines.

"Raphie's pain is still hurting me," I reply, which is true, but I definitely could have gone myself.

Parker seems to figure that out, but he goes down anyway. I lay back and close my eyes. I try reaching out to Raphael, I started to do it multiple times throughout the day. Maybe the medication would be weak at a time I tried and I could break through. But it never was.

I sigh and curl up. "I miss you Raphael." I whimper. "I need you."

I hold my stuffed animal close and push back tears. I miss him, there's an entire part of my gone. Broken off, ripped apart, torn away? I don't know, it was just gone. And my chest hurt, my wolf cried. I'm just in pain.

"Ariel... Get some sleep." Parker sighs. "Eat and then sleep."

I look over at him, he's carrying a glass of milk and a plate of chocolate chip cookies which makes me smile. Parker's so sweet. He sets it down and kisses my forehead. "Justin and I are in the guest room. I'll talk to you in the morning."

I watch as he leaves and I start snacking on my cookies. I'm scared. I'm scared they're going to kill Raphie. It's been so long, what if they think I'm not coming? I am... I am... I'm coming for my mate. I'd never let them keep him, he's mine.

I eat my cookies stressfully, dipping them aggressively into the milk and taking big bites. The doctor said as soon as I am better, we can go forth with the plan. In my mind, I'm better. In Parkers mind, I'm not better until he and Justin say I am. I think we'll be going tomorrow, the thought of knowing it's so close has me anxious.

I want Raphael in my arms. I want to feel his hands against my skin, slight calloused hands holding mine. I want to feel his lips touching my lips and his eyes focused on me. I want his words heard by my ears. I want his feelings felt in my heart and his thoughts running through my head. I miss his being, his presence. I miss him.

"YOU'RE THINKING TOO HARD!" Parker yells. "IT'S GIVING EVERYONE A DAMN HEADACHE!"

I know they don't know what I'm thinking, but I have reason to believe the whole pack feels it by Parkers exclamation. I sigh and let myself think about 'happy' things, more or less, about what I'll eat tomorrow morning.

***

"You're free from rest," Bri says proudly at her medical examination. She was learning from her mate, one of our pack doctors, and really enjoying it too. Not only that, she's a quick learner, really quick.

I nod gratefully and stand. "We attack at night." I tell Parker.

I stalk out of the pack doctor, my mind full of thoughts, ready to explode. Im getting my Raphie back tonight. He's going to be in my arms and-

I collapse, gasping for air. Raphael's pain shooting through me. I turn over and writhe on the ground, hardly noticing as Parker picks me up and starts to run.

Instead of the pack doctors, he brings me back home. Justin is waiting and together they attempt to soothe the pain.

By the end of the madness, I've probably sweat about a gazillion buckets and my tears have filled the ocean. I groan, weakly pushing myself to a stand.

"I don't know if tonight's attack is the best idea Ariel..." Justin speaks slowly.

"No!" I snap. "We attack when I say we attack!"

"Of course Alpha." Parker says submissively, motioning something at Justin with a tight lipped smile.

"Take a shower," Justin grumbles. "When you're done, we'll talk about tonight."

I make my way into the bathroom, struggling a little from being weakened. I slide into the shower and let the water beat down on me. Water droplets washing away the sticky sweat that clung to my body.

I wash myself off before slipping out of the shower and drying myself off. I look at myself in the mirror and curse myself, for I let myself start to fall apart physically.

I couldn't eat as much, I was just too busy, leaving my hungry innards start to eat at my muscle. And there were dark circles under my eyes from waking up from nightmares or staying up feeling Raphael's pain. I love him, with all my heart and I don't want him to see me like this.

I go downstairs and ask the boys to make me a meal, a good one. I'd try to cook myself, but I kinda couldn't. So I wait for the meal, pondering over what Raphie will think of me when he sees me.

Will he be angry? I've spent months working on a plan and training our wolves. Months of him being tortured... And I can't even reach out to him and tell him I'm coming.

I sigh frustratedly and start to pace. What if Raphael is angry with me? What if he thinks I was a terrible leader while he was gone, then he'll never let me take part in anything ever again. Or what if he thinks I forgot about him?

I never forgot. He's on my mind all the time. Anyone could attest to that.

"Ariel..." Parker says, "we made you pasta."

I eat. My mind on the attack ahead. We were so close yet so far. I'll have to go change into the clothes I had made, they were hard, kind of like an armour. I wasn't going to be shifting in this battle. It's easier for me to remain human.

As soon as I'm done, I'm putting on the armour like outfit that fit every curve perfectly. It was made to protect me against the claws and teeth of an oncoming wolf. I just hope it works.

I make my way outside to start rounding together everyone. I am so close to getting Raphael back. So damn close. It's as though I could reach out and touch him, it's been so long and now I'm so close.

I look over my pack. Everyone coming to help, to fight for their alpha.

"Let's go," I say, getting onto Justin's back. His wolf stronger than Parkers.

And Justin leads the way as my pack of wolves dashes through the thicket of the forest.