how is it so easy for you to be so kind to people, he asked

'cause people have not been kind to me

-rupi kaur

• • •

As a man, is he deemed less masculine because he's in touch with his spirituality?

Is he deemed less masculine because he's articulate, or maybe it has something to do with the fact that he's artistically expressive, society thinks so yes.

His fascination with literature— poetry; set him apart from the rest as he reclaimed his title as the inspirational introvert.

Treading lightly while stalking the shelves with his sharp eyes, he traveled throughout the library in search of one of his favorite novels titled 'they both die at the end', by Adam Silvera.

He also gathered a few poetry books as well before proceeding to head upfront, in order to check out. Patience soon grew thin with him beings that the line was so long, it's not that he disliked waiting— he just had social phobia.

The intensifying feeling of being watched and judged by others freaked him out, he knew he was different, and if he had acknowledged that himself, then that means others knew he was different as well.

Physically he had chest pains, numbness in his fingers and toes, ringing in his ears, hot flushes shooting throughout his being, his heart raced— mentally he concentrated on his panicking.

"Excuse me," a subtle voice behind disturbed him, and a slight touch at the arm from this stranger sent him into overdrive

"Don't touch me," his voice raised at an octave way too loud for the library's sake, all eyes averted towards him as his face began heating up from embarrassment

The woman immediately pulled back, refraining from touching him— using that same hand, she placed it upon her chest apologizing "Forgive me, I was only going to ask where did you find that book, it's one of my favorites and I've searched this entire library from top to bottom in search of it,"

"This was the only copy left on the shelf." he spoke a little calmer, slower, and lower— almost in a whisper

"Darn, well that sucks... I came all the way on this side of town just to find out that this library doesn't have any of the books either," she sighed before checking the time on her phone "Oh well, thank you anyways."

He watched as she headed for the exit, his gaze never lost sight of her until he was called up next in the line.

Avoiding small conversation with the clerk, he kept his head down towards the floor indicating he wasn't interested in anything else other than getting his books, and getting out of there.

Once the exchange was made he too made an exit, usually while he walked his head would stay south— but in this particular moment he held it up high, and strangely enough he spotted the woman from earlier seated on a nearby bench,

He thought about the way he had reacted to her touching his arm, although it was an invasion of his personal space— he still felt the need to apologize.

"Hey," he breathed out as he approached her "I just wanted to come over and say that I apologize for how I reacted in there, I'm not very fond of people... especially ones who just touch me without permission."

Shaking her head from left to right, her blunt cut moved effortlessly before falling perfectly back into place, a graceful smile displayed across her lips "No need to apologize, I understand completely. It was my fault so again I'm sorry if I offended you in any way."

He tilted his head a bit, as his honey blonde streaks drifted sideways across his face "You're nice."

"Yes I am," she laughed a little "Does that amaze you or something?"

"I'm a little intrigued, besides it's been a while since I've conversed with someone." he slipped up before taking back his words "Not that it matters because I really don't care, people don't understand me anyways, I'm too different."

"Different is good." she nodded still smiling and keeping all of her attention on him, he soon blushed unintentionally while breaking eye contact

He then separated the poetry book away from the rest of his selections "So, you really like this one yeah?"

"Oh absolutely, I mean I love all of Rupi's works but milk and honey is definitely top tier."

"What's your favorite stanza from the book?"

"Hmm," she tapped her chin giving it a slight thought before responding "even when you undress her you are searching for me, I am sorry I taste so good, when the two of you make love it is still my name that rolls off your tongue, accidentally."

"Damn, that's powerful— every time I hear it or even read it, I get chills."

"You and I both,"

"May I ask why that's your favorite?"

She gave an awkward laugh, and bit down onto her bottom lip "Isn't it obvious?"

"Sounds like boyfriend trouble."

"More like fiancé trouble, he stepped out on me numerous times so..." she trailed off "Poetry really helps alleviate some of the pain still lingering inside of me, especially Rupi's poetry."

Without saying more, he extended the book towards her as she politely declined several times— but he insisted that she took the book anyways.

"Thank you kind stranger," she says

"It's August, and you're welcome...." he paused waiting for her to introduce herself

"Laurielle, but my friends call me Lauri— at least they would if I had any friends." she replied causing him to chuckle "I have my cousin though, that's actually who I'm waiting on. She's like a couple of blocks away."

"Well don't let me disturb the peace,"

"I don't mind August, in fact I'm enjoying your company while I wait." she then moved over a bit, patting the empty spot next to her "It's nice and warm for you."

He hesitantly took a seat, getting comfortable in her previous spot "It's a little too warm... but I won't complain."

"You're hilarious, I really like you."

"Y-You like me? But why, and how do you even know? We just met one another."

She shrugged a bit "I just know, based on simple conversation and your gesture with the book. You're a nice guy August— I admire your kindness." she replied as he simply nodded, thanking her in his own way "And if it's not too much to ask, maybe we could grab a cup of coffee sometime?"

"That sound like a date," he frowned "I ain't never been on no date before Lauri."

"Well then let's not call it a date, let's call it two friends enjoying each other's company, like now."

"I guess um... will there be other people around too?"

"We can always arrange to have our coffee to-go, whatever you'd like and whatever makes you comfortable."

"Deal."

"Great then it's a date," she said jokingly while leaning over against him

He huffed while sternly saying "Lauri, knock it off."

• • •