"If you don't love yourself at least a little bit, if you do not create a shield of pure joy around your heart, my weak darts will be lethal and I will destroy you." (Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland)

A few weeks had passed since Zephyr had told Fayez about his condition, but so far, Fayez didn't even have a clue on how the blond vampire could be cured.

He had spent most of his free time at the Institute's main library, hoping to find a solution in one of the numerous books about vampires that the library contained. Sometimes, he thought that his attempts were vain, for surely, Zephyr's lovers must have already read every book on this topic.

If they couldn't help Zephyr, how could Fayez be naive enough to think that he could? He was, after all, a newbie at the Institute. Worse, he was blatantly ignorant of the rules and traditions of the supernatural creatures.

His knowledge on the supernatural world was almost as bad as a human's. Yes.That bad.

When desperation threatened to overwhelm him, he reminded himself that he should rely on his instincts more. There was a small voice, in a corner of his mind, telling him that he was the only person who could still save Zephyr.

Maybe this voice was just a foretelling of madness. Maybe it was his own vanity talking.

Still, there was no hurt in trying, right? It was better than spending his days and nights wallowing in grief. At least, when it was time to come back into their shared room, he could put up a hopeful front for Zephyr's sake. The blondie didn't need to see gloomy faces, when he already had to deal with his own pain on a daily.

Now that Zephyr had told Fayez about his secret, Fayez could see that Zephyr was almost constantly in pain. The angelic prefect was very good at hidingt it, and Fayez didn't think that anyone, outside of the four of them, and probably the Headmaster as well, had picked up on it.

Some days were better than others, but Zephyr was slowly dying. Ashur and Akhenaton - and now Fayez as well, much to Akhenaton's dismay - had been feeding him some blood, but Zephyr still looked underfed and, when he thought that nobody was watching him, he would close his eyes and let out exhausted sighs that broke Fayez's heart.

A few hours ago, Fayez had had a revelation of some sort. If he was being honest with himself, then he must admit that he hadn't been clever in his attempts to seek information.

Books weren't the only answer, or even the most obvious one, to Zephyr's disease.

The three prefects were.

Zephyr had only told Fayez that a human had infected him, and that, although most of the poison had been taken out of his blood, it was still presenthad in his system. That day, Fayez had been so sad and flabbergasted by the news that he hadn't thought of asking Zephyr to give him more details.

Surely, the three prefects knew more about it. Asking them directly, instead of hiding in the library, would be a good starting point.

Who should he ask, though? He didn't want to bother Zephyr by reminding him of his current state. The conversation would be depressing and Fayez only wanted to cheer the prefect up.

Akhenaton wasn't a much better choice, as Fayez hadn't really talked to him since that day when they had almost kissed, and the brunette had graciously called it 'fooling around'.

Maybe his behaviour was a bit childish, but Akhenaton had unknowingly hurt him, and Fayez didn't want to feel this way anymore. So, he had kept conversations betweem them to the strict minimum, only adressing him during training, when he had no other choice.

Even then, his tone had been formal, and he had made sure to keep his face expressionless.

He certainly didn't feel any better by not talking to Akhenaton, though. In fact, it increased his general feeling of uneasiness and on a few instances he had almost gave in and broke his vow of silence.

A few times, he had wondered if perhaps the prefect was a bit bothered by Fayez's coldness toward him. Akhenaton would look at him with a frustrated expression, and he would open his mouth, only to close it and shrug it off.

In the end, Fayez concluded that he shouldn't be so hopeful. The icy brunette simply didn't care. All Akhenaton cared about was Zephyr and Ashur.

So.

He didn't want to ask Zephyr or Akhenaton about the vampire's condition.

That left only one option.

His throat suddenly a bit dried, he knocked on the wooden door.

A few seconds passed, then he heard the deep, calming voice asking him to come in.

"Fayez? What a pleasant surprise!"

"Mast - Ashur, I mean. Sorry for bothering you. I just wanted to talk to you about something."

The taller man smiled at him warmly, then motionned for him to close the door and to come closer. He was sitting at his desk, and there was a pile of books in front of him.

He looks pretty tired, Fayez thought. Maybe I should just leave him alone. After all, if he spends most of his time in his private office, it must mean that he wants to be left alone.

"You look pretty tired" Ashur observed, his words mirroring Fayez's thoughts. "Are you getting enough sleep?"

"I'm okay. You look tired too." Fayez replied, and he was tempted to just sit on Ashur's lap and rest his head on his shoulder - but of course, he didn't do it. He never would indulge in such pitiful needs.

"I'm sorry, Fayez. We've all been quite busy. These days have been hectic, and we didn't get the opportunity to hang out like I had hoped we would. It's just been - tough, and I'm very preoccupied by Zephyr's health." Ashur admitted, as he rubbed his slightly red eyes, his posture slightly defeated.

"Actually, that's what I wanted to discuss with you" Fayez shyly declared, half fearing that Ashur would retort that he wasn't entitled to talk with him about his lover's illness.

The prefect did nothing of the sort. He merely asked in his quiet voice:

"Of course. Wouldn't Zeph be a better interlocutor, though?"

"I don't want to add to his distress by sharing my doubts and concerns about his condition." Fayez replied, his voice firmer this time, as the prefect looked open to discussion.

"You're absolutely right. That's very considerate of you. Ask away, then. What would you like to know?"

"Some things just don't add up" Fayez spoke quickly, as he worried that he would annoy the obviously very busy prefect. "For instance, Zeph told me that his blood was poisonned, but I drank his blood once, and felt completely fine afterwards. How comes it didn't affect me?

In his distress, he hadn't realized that he had started pacing accross the office, his hands convulsively grabbing his hair.

"Faye, I-"

"No, but really, he should be fine, by now! I mean, the poison should have been completely evacuated from his body, right? Especially when Akhenaton gave Zephyr so much of his own blood."

"Fayez..."

"I want to help, too, but I don't know how! Akhenaton has been feeding Zephyr all the time, so much that I remember that once you basically had to drag him out of the room, in fear that he would pass out."

"Listen up, sweets-"

"You've been helping, too! I see how you keep reading all those books in hopes to come up with a solution. Zeph also told me that you had been the one helping the Headmaster to take the poison out of Zeph's body."

"Okay, hold on- "

"I want to help, too, but I don't know how!" Fayez was now screaming in exasperation. "I feel useless! All these freacking books I've been reading taught me nothing! Nothing! There must be something else I can do"

"Fayez! Be quiet now!"

Ashur hadn't raised his voice, but his tone contained so much authority that Fayez immediately obeyed, his cheeks turning crimson when he realized that he had lost control of his emotions.

Ashur didn't appear to be mad at him, though. On the contrary, he looked concerned, and the steps he took toward Fayez were slow and cautious.

When there was harldy a foot separating them, he stopped, and cupped Fayez's face in his hands.

"Don't think you're not helping, Faye. Being there for Zephyr, sleeping next to him at night and chatting with him during the day, that's already so much help. You're really good at cheering him up, you know." he said softly, as he looked at Fayez straight in the eyes. "Please don't underestimate yourself"

Fayez wanted to argue, but at the same time, Ashur's words were heartwarming and he desperately wanted to believe they hold some truth.

So, he said nothing, and eventually, Ashur spoke again.

"Regarding your questions... They make perfect sense. I, too, have been wondering why Zeph is still sick."

"Did you find something?" Fayez asked in a hopeful tone.

"I might." Ashur replied so grimly, that Fayez's hope immediately deflated.

Ashur let go of Fayez's face, much to the latter's chagrin. He went back to his desk, and took a small book with a purple cover out of the pile.

"You can have it, I've just finished it. I think it might contain the explanation for Zephyr's condition but, alas, not the cure."

"What is the evil that consumes him?"

"I might be wrong, but... I think it's what we call the Sycra Tarentula."

"I've never heard about it" Fayez admitted, "But it doesn't seem very pleasant."

"It's not." Ashur replied, as he was now hiding his face behind his hands, his strong voice suddenly tiny. "It's an uncommon bacteria that can only be found in very specific types of rocks. It doesn't have any impacts on humans, and a few of them unknowingly host it inside their bodies. However, if a vampire accidentally ingests it...."

He took a deep breath, and Fayez waited in dread for the rest of the sentence.

"... it's a death sentence."

His body shook a bit, making Fayez act on impulse. Taking a few steps forward, he rushed toward Ashur and threw his arms around him.

The taller man tensed up, and Fayez immediately loosened his hold, as he thought that he might have offended the soft-spoken man by acting so boldly.

Not even a few seconds later, he found himself dragged back into a warm embrace, as Ashur's arms tightned around him in a protective manner.

"Thank you for your support, sweet boy" Ashur whispered against his ear, bringing the shorter man impossibly close to him. "We're very, very lucky to have you. You can't even imagine how grateful we all are, although some of us are not good at showing it."

Fayez wasn't sure the prefect's words really made sense to him, but right now, he didn't want to talk. He didn't want to ask anything. He didn't want to inquire. Hell, he didn't want to do anything apart from inhaling the prefect's comforting scent.

He sounded like a freak, right? He couldn't help it.

There's nothing, he thought, that surpasses the sensation of Ashur's arms around me, of my cheek against his collarbone, of his hands gently rubbing my back.

For the first time in weeks, he felt really comfortable. Safe, even.

Fayez didn't know how long they stood like this, taking comfort in the other's embrace. At some point, though, Ashur slowly let go of Fayez and, taking a step back, he gave the vampire a look of regret.

"I should go back to these books" he said softly. "But I'm happy you came to talk to me. I feel much better after spending time with you."

"Can I stay here?" Fayez asked, without thinking. "I promise I won't disturb you."

Ashur laughed a bit, but there wasn't any malice in it. He gave Fayez a fond smile, before responding:

"I would love for you to stay, but alas, as you can see, there's only one chair here. Ake took the other. I think you have no choice but to go. Unless, of course, you want to kneel by my side."

"I - I can kneel by your side!"

Fayez felt mortified when he realized that Ashur had only meant this as a joke. He gave a fearful look to the prefect, who, for once, looked a bit startled by this unexpected answer.

"I - I didn't mean to say that" he eventually said, as the prefect was still silent.

"But you did."

" I - Did I? Oh, shit, would you look at the clock? It's so late already, I must leave now! Bye-bye!" Fayez exclaimed, as he rushed toward the door.

He was already grabbing the handle, when Ashur's voice rose again.

"Come back here." he ordered, and he sounded confident and collected again.

Fayez did so, careful not to look at the prefect's eyes. When he was close enough for Ashur to do so, the man gently took a hold of his chin, forcing him to look up.

"Fayez, do you want to kneel by my sides?" Ashur asked, and there was no room left in his voice for any attempts of deflecting or lying about it.

"Yes" Fayez replied, surprising himself when he realized that he did mean it.

"Why?"

"I don't know"

Ashur smiled again, but this time, it was unlike any of his other smiles. It was cheeky, joyful, and free of any burden.

There was something else in this smile, but Fayez couldn't have named it. All he knew, is that he had often seen it on the three prefects' faces, just before they all went to the bathroom to take a shower together - when he had asked Zephyr about it, the vampire had replied that they did so in order to save water.

"Alright, my sweet boy." Ashur eventually said, a knowing expression on his face, as if he knew things about Fayez that Fayez himself was ignorant of. "We can try it, then you'll tell me what you thought of the experience, okay? "

" Okay. But Akhenaton and Zephyr..."

"... Don't need to know anything about it. Don't worry about them." Ashur replied, before taking a plush cushion and putting it next to his chair, on the ground. "I wouldn't want you to hurt your knees." he explained, as the vampire was looking at him with a curious expression. "Now, please kneel, Faye."