19, #𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲

I just got fired.

Apparently jokingly telling someone that you're going to "shit in the food [they] serve" is considered a threat. And so when Olive put something weird in customers' food, served their plates and received lots of complaints, she used what I said as an excuse to get her out of it.

"She told me..." I remember hearing her whisper to my boss, before covering her mouth with her palm so I didn't know what she was saying. She continued to glare at me though.

Twenty minutes later, the boss man comes up to me and tells me I've been sacked for tampering with the food. Which, of course, I didn't do. But with his little knowledge of the internet, he assumes that all Twitch streamers--Olive must have told him I was a streamer--are crazy enough to do something like that.

Now I'm in my flat, fuming.

I wanted to keep things going on between Olive and I between us. Because it's nobody else's business, right? I didn't publically shame her on Twitter for trying to use me. I didn't do anything that directly damaged her. 

But she's taking this a little further than 'just between us' if she's getting me fired for something I didn't do.

#azzpenisoverparty

@azzpen

to those who are cancelling me, consider how the girl who started the hashtag used me to get to my friends, got me fired at work for something i didn't do and is now trying to cancel me online. i wanted to keep this between us because it's personal, but when you're going to such external lengths, ig i should reciprocate

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@azzpen

also, ew twitter drama? never thought i'd see the day. please spare me from that category lads:(

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@username1

told u guys

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@username2

bruh she got u fired wtf

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@username1

u tell her queen

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The responses are mainly positive--to me, at least.

But I don't want that reaction when I'm 'exposing' someone. I don't want praise. I just want people to understand the situation and what I'm trying to say. Is there even a way to do that without somebody being the ass of the situation?

...

walnut found

hey, you okay?

saucenap

what's going on homie:(

small d

hey, we're getting worried

i'm getting worried

az, why aren't you responding to anyone?

i need to know if you're okay

are you still going on the austin show tonight? if not, i'll cancel for you

sorry. tell everyone i'm sorry for ignoring them 

i haven't been on my phone much 

i'm okay. thank you

i'll be on the show. it takes me out of my head

...

"Hold on, Austin," I murmur, looking between the two of them. I have to decide between Maia and Celestia in this Love or Host. "This is a tough one. I'm losing my shit as we speak, actually."

"Take your time. Well, not really. This stream's already gone overboard."

"Hey, Austin, I can't help flirting so much when there's such an array of beautiful girls," I joke.

That's right. My Love or Host this time features only girls.

All of a sudden, Austin announces, "Hold on, we're being intercepted again. Hello? Hell--"

"Austin."

"DreamWasTaken. You're here again."

"Yeah, thanks for letting me on. Thanks, man," he says quickly. "Now, listen, Az."

"Not again," I mutter to myself. I smile to myself, listening to Clay bicker with Maia and Celestia about who's a better match for me.

I know he doesn't mean any of the stuff he's saying. I know the real reason why he's on the show.

To cheer me up.

To see if I'm okay.

"She doesn't have to listen to you, Clay," Celestia retorts. "She's her own woman. Better yet, she's soon to be my woman--romantically or not. Get your green ass out of here."

"Yeah!" Maia agrees, nodding her head fervently. "We hate men. Apart from Austin because he's a cutie pie."

"Ah, well, thank you, ladies," Austin says, running a hand through his hair.

"Austin, let me join the show," Clay demands.

And so he does.

He's the third finalist.

I decide that I can't choose between Maia and Celestia as, they being two of my closest friends, I don't want to have to decide between them at all. Then there'd be favouritism and it would be weird, whether we're on a dating show or not. And that is the sole reason why I decide to choose Clay.

"DreamWasTaken chose," Austin starts slowly, turning up the volume of the suspenseful music, "Host!"

I blink at the screen. "What?"

Maia gapes. "What?"

"WHAT?" Celestia says aggressively, leaning her face right against the camera. "I can't believe this. Austin, get this man out of here."

"I agree."

"One hundred percent," I add, narrowing my eyes at Dream's black screen.

"Austin, do you wanna know why I picked Host?"

"Yes. Please."

"YES, WE'RE VERY CURIOUS, CLAY," Celestia goes, spitting his name out like poison. She huffs, crosses her arms over her chest and falls back into her chair. I have to stifle my laughter at the aggressive character she's playing on the show.

"Why did you pick Host, Dream?" Maia asks, flaring her cheeks.

"I didn't wanna do it this way," he says.

"Do what?"

"It's a dating show. I don't need a show to date," he says. "That's why I picked Host."

I blink. "You're making no sense right now."

Austin chuckles. "Sounds like perfect sense to me." He winks at the viewers. The chat is flooded with various heart emotes. Oh, good lord.

...

"Thank you," I say into my phone, smiling at Clay.

He hums, glancing up at me in amusement. "For what?"

"For cheering me up."

"It was the least I could do."

"I would have been happier if you picked Love on me though."

"If I'm gonna ask you to go out with me, it's gonna be a little more extravagant than 'picking Love.'"

"You've raised my expectations."

He smiles. "Good."

We sit in silence for a second. Clay is getting a midnight snack and then he'll pop back into Tommy's stream for some Minecraft. I'm taking the night off from streams. 

I see him clench his jaw and look away from the camera. "So Olive really got you fired huh?"

"Yep," I murmur.

"Bitch."

My eyes widen and I put down the bottle in my hand. "Clay! I've never heard you say that word before."

"It's like something out of a movie, what she did. Who would actually frame someone like that? What a..." he trails off, not wanting to say the word a second time. He looks up at me. "What are you drinking anyway?"

"Bailey's."

"That's alcohol."

I take another swig. "Indeed it is."

"Don't drink your feelings, kid." He grins. "Talk to me."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know. Therapists say that to vent you should say stuff starting with 'I', right?"

"Okay, well," I start. "I hate it here."

"Mmm?"

"I don't like Olive."

"Me too."

"And," I say, resting my chin in my hand. 

I brush a finger over my cheek, remembering the events of that drunken night. The more time I spent away from him, the more I remembered. The way we talked, the way he was respectful of me. The way his lips brushed over mine but he pulled away in fear of taking advantage of me when I was drunk.

"And...I miss you," I breathe.

Then he smiles again. It's a mysterious smile. "I can solve that last one."

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