billie eilish, watch.

My head is spinning as Raheem picks up the gifts off the floor, I'm sat on the porch staring at the grass a bit beyond where I'm sat. At first he was speaking to me and then he gave up, I wanted to respond but my body felt so weak. I couldn't get myself off the ground nor could I lower and raise my jaw to communicate.

My eyeballs the only piece of me still functioning, my eyelids too I suppose. Was I even breathing? Do I even want to? Why had the Moon chosen this path for me? Couldn't she had picked someone else, I just wish I could've become the Queen I was born to be. Why me? Why did I have to go through all of this, I'm so exhausted. Goddess, I'm so exhausted.

I hadn't realised I had started to cry again until Raheem sat beside me and brought me into his hold. Really he pulled my entire body into him. I was silenced instantly, the familiarity he brought being welcomed.

Raheem is not associated with any of this hardship and chaos, he just brings me great joy. That is all I feel when I remember him, therefore it is all I feel when I'm surrounded by him.

"I'm so sorry Lerato."

I sighed not moving my head off his chest, "No, I'm sorry. This was meant to be a surprise, this was meant to be a really good time. I'm sorry it all got ruined."

"Nothing is your fault, therefore it's not your obligation to apologise. I don't want to hear another apology coming from you."

Pushing myself off of him I rise to my feet, "Well, let's make your welcome worth while."

I showed him into my house where I decided that I would not dwell on the events that had just transpired. For as long as Raheem was here, I would not even think about Micah.

"What do you wanna do first?" I ask with a broad smile and he chuckled.

Setting everything on the countertop he replied, "Honestly? Sleep." I threw my head back and laughed, "That is utterly understandable, flights are tiring and if I remember correctly, you can't sleep on a plane?"

He nodded so I turned around ready to show him to a guest room, "Okay, well, follow me sleepyhead."

I shut the door of the guest room once Raheem had settled, I made my way to the kitchen where he had dropped the gifts Micah had brought with him. I grabbed everything and walked out the sliding door which led to a braai area. I threw some coal onto the stand and poured some parafin over them, I know that's not how it's done but I could care less right now, I'm not really braai'ing a damn thing.

I threw a lit matchstick over the coals and they instantly caught on fire. I threw the flowers in first, followed by the bear, the LV paper bag without peeping the contents and then the chocolate.

I watched as everything burned and the fire in my own heart grew just as the fire before me did each time I added something else. The thoughts and feeling from earlier, before Raheem appeared resurfacing.

I pulled out my phone from my back pocket without taking my eyes off the flames. I glanced at the phone to find Khalil's phone number, I pushed the call icon and waited for him to answer.

"Lerato, hey." His voice was as cheery as usual.

I half smiled, "Hey Khalil, how are you?"

I wanted to jump straight to the point but I also didn't want to be rude, I hadn't conversed with the Alpha in a while. I had to go through these tedious pleasantries.

Walking back into the house, I shut the sliding door before sitting on a bar stool, "I'm alright and how have you been? Especially being home and all. Will I see you again?"

I smiled hearing those last words because, oh boy, did he not know just how much of me he'd be seeing from this day forward.

"I'm fuming, if you want the honest truth. I'm downright upset and I —" I couldn't continue on with the sentence now realising just how crazy I'd sound if I completed it.

The tone in his voice has changed, taking on a more serious tone, "You what? What's wrong?"

"Remember that overthrowing the Royals conversation we had?"

I can hear my own heartbeat as I wait for a response, "Yes..." he sounds hesitant, "I know what you're about to say but I know better than to listen to someone when they're all heated."

"I'll never get past this feeling if I don't do anything about it."

He laughs humourlessly, "That's not true and you know it."

I clench my jaw, resisting the urge to raise my voice to an Alpha. "Khalil, please."

He sighed, "Maybe you should call Raheem and calm down a little."

I roll my eyes, "He's already here and watched the whole ordeal unfold so he knows I'm upset. I also don't think he'd be surprised to hear what it is I want to do."

I could hear the low growl coming from deep within his chest, "Taking down that family isn't something to take lightly, Lerato. It's not only about you, I have my reasons too and I'd like to know you're fully in. That wolf is your mate, whether you like it or not. You're not Bound — he is, I don't want the lingering feelings to get in the way. Once I start this mission I'm not ending it until I've burnt them right into the ground. I need you all in, so I'm not listening to you speaking through hurt feelings." He hung up.

I had never heard Khalil upset until now and I'm certain I never want to hear the voice again. I stared at the phone and slid it away from me before I threw it across the room. Instead I pushed the fruit bowl off the countertop and kicked a stool which only took the others down with it in a domino effect.

I let out a frustrated yell and headed for the door needing to breathe and not appreciating being in this house any longer. I shut the door I made my way down the porch steps only for Raheem to open the door once I had landed on a square tile in the vast sea of green grass.

Before I could step on the next tile he spoke, "Come back here, Lerato."

I let out a shaky breath and turned my body only to see that he had made his way to me. He enclosed me in his arms and kissed my forehead softly.

"Don't let him do this to you."

A tear slipped past my façade and tainted his shirt, "I'm so angry, Raheem, I just... I just want to hit something or throw something... I want to cause him so much pain." The tears streamed down at the sound of my words, saying them sounded even worse than thinking them.

"I want him to suffer and grovel, I want him to feel everything that I'm feeling. I want him to pay, they all deserve to pay but I feel so dirty even saying that. It's so out of character, look what he's done to me. I don't want to be this wolf."

Whenever Micah's involved a piece of me breaks, a different piece each time. He started with my heart then my spirit moving to my confidence, my wolf and now me. My personality, I'm not a vengeful person, hell, I'm not even a tic for tac kind of person no matter what kind and yet here I am crying for vengeance.

What has he done to me? What is he doing to me, what will become of me if I actually go through with this? Is it even what I truly want?

He kissed my forehead once more before pulling back a little more and wiping away my tears. As muddled as my brain is, I wish he would kiss me. I can see it in his eyes — he wants to but he's probably afraid it would seem as though he's taking advantage of me. So I take a step back to put more space between us.

"I understand, Sprinkle, I do. I just don't think right now is the time to make hasty decisions. Let's get back inside and let you sleep on it, okay? Just let you have some time to think it through and calm down a little. You have every right to feel this way, you do. You just also owe it to yourself as you're saying, this is out of your nature. Think it through first."

I nodded my head silently before going in for another hug, as soon as his arms wrapped around me I shut my eyes as I exhaled. Instantly feeling a little lighter and a little clearer. I wish I could stay this way forever.

Waking up the next morning I felt much calmer but even more sure about taking down the Royals. Micah deserves to pay for the crime he has committed. Lying to the community so publicly and unapologetically whilst ripping me apart cannot go unpunished.

Taking it even further and trying to play me for a fool and wanting to have his cake and eat it too does not help his case.

Once I had completed my morning routine I sat on my couch and stared out the window, chin on my knee as I mull this all over. Moments later my phone rang from beside me, Khalil flashing on the screen. I slide to answer.

"Hello Alpha Khalil."

He sighs, "Hi, Lerato. I'm calling to apologise for snapping at you. It was uncalled for, you really didn't deserve it. Whilst what I said is what I feel, I do need you to be all in, the manner in which I said it was harsh and for that I greatly apologise."

I smiled slightly, "It's alright, Alpha."

I heard him grunt, "Lerato."

I snicker, "I'm kidding, Khalil. Sheesh, never met an Alpha that didn't want to be called an Alpha."

He was quick to interject, "Oh no, trust me I do. Just not by my brother's..." he cleared his throat, "my friend."

I pretend to make gagging sounds, "Were you about to call me your brother's girlfriend!?"

He chuckles, "Goodbye, Lerato!"

"Wait!" I say hastily before proceeding, "I want to do it, Khalil. I want to take him down, I need to take him down. I need to tell my story."