17, end of December

Tabitha had always thought that it was cold in New York during the holidays. That was nothing compared to what she had been feeling the past few weeks. What made things worse was her being anemic. She believed in her mind that she got colder quicker because of that. Was it true? Tabitha wasn't sure, but she told everyone that for good measure.

Even in her grandmother's house, she wore several layers of clothes with the heat on. Back at her parents, Tabitha would wear her dad's extra-large hoodies around the house. Even that did not guarantee her full warmth. If she was this cold, what about Issac? He was only a baby, so making sure he didn't get sick was imperative. He was her world, and if anything were to happen to him, she wouldn't know what to do.

After getting herself in a routine, the juggling of school, work, and the home weren't near as bad as the first day. The best part was that she was still on top of her classes. Now, that did not mean she didn't go through her battles with Father Foley. It had become more evident about how much trouble he wanted to give her.

It started with her Religious Studies class, with discussions in class turning into debates of theology. Most of the other girls didn't care about the course. What was the importance of religion in their lives? It wasn't like they took it home with them. It was different for Tabitha though, she grew up in it, and it was all she could hold onto for hope.

Her teacher was impressed with her arguments, being that she took on the perspective of a Protestant and depended on different readings and interpretations than most Catholic doctrines. He had mentioned it to Father Foley, even showing him her papers she had written on the topics.

According to all of her teachers, except for her Maths and Chemistry, Tabitha's papers were well written. Her ability to write both academic and creative essays were phenomenal.

They didn't know what she had gone through as a child to get this good, though. Her parents believed in discipline, not just 'reprimanding your children' but spanking them. She remembered being hit as a child whenever she did something wrong. Not enough to say child abuse, but the memories were still fresh in her mind.

Her mother would get irritated when she didn't want to do her schoolwork as a little girl, causing her father to get annoyed and hit her. It wasn't like he would hit her hard or anything, but it did scare her enough to do well in her classes. She remembered being ten, and her mother forced her to stay up till midnight to write her paper three times. It was worth it in the end. The paper was great.

So it wasn't something that came naturally to her. She practiced it over the years.

Foley read her papers, but he was not in awe like everyone else. There was her theory that one should not look to pray to God through a higher authority, and her convenient example was a priest. She believed that someone could pray with you, but only the person can ask God for forgiveness and help by themselves. They must confront their situation and sins and not think that saying a ritualistic mantra such as 'Hail Mary' and go about their lives.

So in her next paper, saying that the Holy Spirit is not something that one can summon by becoming a pastor or a priest or even the pope. She believed it was based on the person's relationship with God and his Son Jesus. The Holy Spirit is what God gives them and isn't based on the earthly approval of others. She referred to several prophets in the Bible, such as Samuel, Daniel, even Jeremiah. Tabitha's religion teacher understood her point and couldn't cheat her of a good grade.

Father Foley knew if Tabitha's papers were seen outside the school walls, part of the community would turn their back on her. The notions she wrote of were too far-fetched in their minds. He got a fright reading her papers, seeing how she did not fully believe in the church authorities.

He needed her to understand that this was unacceptable to write. It was ideologies like this that made people outside question the Church. It was already hard to keep members from the scandal that broke out a few years prior, but her thinking was a different extreme. He never had these discussions with Sonya, so he wondered who taught her that this was right.

Tabitha, unbeknownst to Father Foley, did have her relationship with God. She did try to pray every day and also read her Bible. Although sometimes it was hard, there were days that she didn't do the right things, and make mistakes. Tabitha learned over the years that she needed to learn to forgive herself also for the things she did. Sometimes there were hard days, especially in the past year, but she knew things would get better.

She remembers what her mother told her once that there will be many black clouds before the rainbow. Tabitha believed that she was going through the black clouds to reach her rainbow. She didn't know what would come with the rainbow. But when it did arrive, it would be great.

He had called her into his office several times over the few months to talk to her about it, but she wasn't responding to him. There was often scolding on his part, telling her that she shouldn't write or believe such things. Tabitha was adamant to remind Father Foley that she wasn't like him, a Catholic. She was not going to change her views to fit into the mold he wanted. He would often stand right in front of her. His body towering over her sitting form, threatening her if she didn't stop writing such 'radical' things in his school, there would be consequences. She wasn't sure what he had meant by that, but he wasn't going to scare her out of what she believed.

Often more than not, she would remind him that he couldn't stop her views, nor could he control her grades. He was the headmaster, but he couldn't control her academics. Only the teachers could. Based on her work, Tabitha was doing well without the help of others. Foley wouldn't admit it, but she was right. He couldn't control her grades.

~~~

It was the day before the Christmas break, and everyone was excited for classes to end. They would be leaving after Mass, which would be pretty early. There was also excited that there might be a white Christmas the year. Although it wasn't often, a white Christmas was a good sign to many.

Tabitha herself never saw a white Christmas. The snow would usually come to New York mostly, in February and March. She was excited to see one, and it would be great for Issac to celebrate his first one like that too.

Tabitha was busy with her applications, so the emotion which entered her mind was nervousness. For now, she filled out her late applications for the US before she was working on applications for other places, just in case, things weren't going her way. She knew it was her only hope, and she did pray to God every day that His will would be done. She knew that the colleges would be monitoring her grades currently in this school, so failing was not an option. So far, she was doing great, and there were talks that she could be valedictorian even though she just started a few months before. It excited her a lot, knowing if she was back in New York, she would've been one.

After Mass, which bore her every time, especially with the communion ritual, she had to wait for Father Foley, as always. It was one thing she had to do now, ride home with him. Her grandmother was adamant about it, so Tabitha didn't complain to her but sucked it up. Foley would make several efforts to talk with her, but she would be busy with other things such as small assignments or doing things for her college applications.

Tabitha was wary of him, but she didn't make any efforts to upset him. Now, whenever he would ask her to do something, she did it without complaint. She would see herself sitting across from him almost every evening with her grandmother, not having a conversation but listening to them talk. In all her years being there, she never truly listened to them speak.

They did sound like old friends as if they knew one another for years. Tabitha can't say she didn't understand why. He was all her grandmother had other than herself and Issac. As time went on, Sonya's health did become worse. Tabitha couldn't do anything more except try to care for Sonya to the best of her ability. Although she had a lot of pain, Sonya did to want to show her granddaughter she was going places, and she didn't want to be the reason that Tabitha wasn't going to do things to her best potential. As of October, Sonya started to use a walker to walk. She used to imagine people in their eighties to use it, but not mid-sixties.

Deep down, Sonya was scared of what her future would be like or how much longer she had left. Maybe she would head to New York with Tabitha, just to give her goodbyes. She missed her children dearly, but she also knew their situation they wouldn't give her sufficient care. She just felt horrible that Tabitha had to be the one to sacrifice her life in some way for her. She was a young girl meant to have fun, not take care of others before her time.

Sonya often wondered why Tabitha was the one to take care of Issac. She was his older sister, not his mother. Sonya knew in the future this would affect them in the future if he believed that Tabitha was his mother rather than his parents.

Unless...

Well, she didn't want to even think about that. She knew that child was not Tabitha's. Tabitha knew better than to have sex before marriage. Her mother was still young enough to have a child, so Sonya knew he was not that young girl's child. But to send him here with her was cruel. The young girl shouldn't have that responsibility.

This is why she's thankful for Stephen. He was sent by God just for her. She only wished that he and Tabitha would get along more. She wasn't sure of what had caused the rift between them, well they were never on the best terms from what she noticed in their behaviors, but after that trip for Tabitha's sixteenth birthday, the latter would avoid him altogether.

Now, she didn't want to think that anything bad had happened between them, but although she would never say it, Sonya knew something was wrong. He may be good to her and others in the community, but she wasn't sure about her granddaughter. She wouldn't deny seeing the way the priest looked at Tabitha and the way she would avoid him. He was like a love-struck puppy who protected her whenever needed.

Sonya would've said it was alright except for two things. The first was that he was a Catholic priest, so it was never going to happen. The second thing was that he was 14 years older than her, and she was still a teenager. In Sonya's time, that was a normal thing, but it was now going to be the 21st century. Times have changed.

Tabitha didn't need to settle down right away. Her education was important.

For the first time in a while, Sonya had stared off into space, wondering how things would be like when she would be gone. If there was anything she needed to make sure of, it was to ensure Tabitha was taken care of. Even though Tabitha wanted to go to college in America, if there was a chance that something was to happen, Sonya wanted to do right by her and leave her something. Tabitha was the only one from her family who was there for her.

Sonya had a lot of thinking to do for the holidays.

~~~

This Christmas would be the first Tabitha would spend away from her family. She would've been sad, but Christmas was never really the best time of the year for her. She would usually find herself crying, often from pressure and stress. She couldn't do that anymore, but at least now, it wouldn't be as hectic. It was only bad that she would have to spend it with someone she didn't like.

Yes, her grandmother said they would be spending Christmas with Stephen. Well, not only him but his parents too. He claimed that since Sonya was getting a little worse off and that the storm was coming for Christmas, he would feel better if she and Tabitha and Issac would stay with him during that time. Tabitha internally rolled her eyes at that.

What a hero he was.

Now she needed to tell Mr. Brennan that she wouldn't be around Christmas Day.

~~~

He laughed at her when she told him, "You do realize I wasn't serious when I said that, right?"

"What?"

Mr.Brennan shook his head while laughing still, "I'm not cruel, Tabitha. I only said that thinking wouldn't be so persistent in getting the job. I have to admit, though, I'm glad to see how serious you are about it. I know it isn't the world's best job, but it does show great work ethic that will benefit you in the future." He patted her on the shoulder before going back to what he needed to do.

Tabitha was dumbfounded. She was happy, not needing to work Christmas day, but still, he must've not wanted her to work there to say that.

"Why didn't you want me to work here?" Phillip turned to look at her, perplexed by her question. They worked together for half a year now, and he wondered why it was only now she asked that. They had grown closer over that time, even going beyond just co-workers. He can probably call a friend in some retrospect. "Honestly, I think I wasn't sure how things would be with you around. I wanted someone older, and seeing how young you are, I thought you were going to take it for granted. I'm glad to see I was wrong." She smiled at him before bidding her goodbye, "Have a Merry Christmas, Mr.Brennan."

Phillip took a step back to think about her question a bit more and how exactly she surprised him. Even with how busy she was, she somehow remembered his birthday, making him a cake from scratch. Once in a while, they would sit down with a cup of coffee and discuss Greek literature, a common interest for both. She was indeed unlike any of the girls he knew before.

He just felt terrible that she had so much stress in her life. He knew who was the cause: Stephen Foley. From the first moment Phillip saw him years ago, he knew there wasn't something right. He came right before Phillip came back from uni and was already chummy with Sonya by then. There was no doubt in his mind that Stephen had something to do with the crumbling his their relationship as friends.

Now, he wasn't the only person Foley was bothering, but Tabitha too. Just in a different way.

Phillip did take notice of how often the priest would pass by the shop, looking at Tabitha. She either didn't notice him or chose to ignore him. There have been times he would come into the shop (something he never did until Tabitha started to work there) and just try to talk and have a discussion with her. He even started to become a regular just to see her. Although he took notice of it, Phillip didn't say anything. He couldn't. The most he could do was make sure to stay around when the priest was near.

He took psychology and behavioral classes back in uni when he wanted to become a physician at first. Tabitha's face and her subconscious actions when he was around, Phillip knew something happened, just not how far it had gone. He would have asked her, but he didn't want to jump the gun. If she wanted to tell, she will when she was ready.

When she told him her holiday plans, he was worried about her state of mind when she would be back.

Phillip hoped that nothing would happen to her, but then again, he needed to stop assuming that something happened. Maybe he was only thinking this because of his feeling towards Father Foley.

Unlike Tabitha, Phillip would be celebrating the holiday by himself. He didn't have any living relatives since his father's passing five years prior. His usual way of celebrating the holiday was spending it like a regular day, except making himself a dinner nicer than usual. He never thought that at 26, he would be having so much time spent alone. He had plans for a better life, but that all changed when the girl he loved went away.

She thought it would be beneficial to marry someone who could offer her more than a shop and a comfy lifestyle. There were also many other factors in her choice, but Phillip always thought that was the main reason. He wanted someone who would be happy with just him and not seek the materials in life. Someone who understood the trials one had to go through and push forward.

Someone who can laugh with him.

He wasn't sure when he would meet that person, but he hoped it would be sooner rather than later.

Phillip looked at the dark sky outside the shop window, the snow lightly falling. It was a beautiful sight, and for some reason, reminded him of hope for a brighter future.

A laugh escaped his lips. He was always known to be a romantic at heart.

~~~

The trip to Father Foley's parents' house wasn't too bad. It was an hour away, and there was a beautiful view of the sea as the snow fell. Christmas Eve was halfway done. They were planning to reach just in time for dinner.

Sonya sat in the front with Foley, while Tabitha was in the backseat with Issac in his car seat. He was asleep, most likely because of the movement of the car. Back home, she would've been able to drive herself, but that was something she couldn't afford here, and besides, her grandmother wouldn't find the use of it since 'Stephen' was always around.

As per usual, Tabitha was quiet for the ride. Her index finger was wrapped by Issac's whole hand. She couldn't believe he was already ten months old, already taking his first steps and even making sounds to attempt to form words. For now, he tried today 'car', probably only hearing the talk about cars every day from Foley and her grandmother at the dinner table. Tabitha was currently feeding him a few solid foods, mostly pureed foods. He could understand whenever she pointed to an object and told him what it was.

His hair grew out at a slightly faster pace, now having curls with the light brown hair starting to turn only a little darker. Tabitha wished she had that. Her hair was a dark brown, sometimes mistaken for black. Her hair was also straight, well if she curled it, the style would hold, but its natural state was thick and straight. It was different from both of her parents; her mother had curly hair that was turning grey despite her young age, while her father's hair was thinning.

Thankfully, it was not in a weird way, like in the middle, but his hairline was slowly receding, most likely due to always wearing hats for work. She knew it had to be that only because her uncle, who was older than her father by a decade, had a full head of hair. Besides, she heard wearing hats too often can cause the thinning of hair. Tabitha saw pictures of her father when he was younger. He had thick hair with nice waves, so it was just a recessive gene that gave her straight hair, but she wasn't complaining. For the most part, she liked her hair the way it was.