"Ethan," I breathed dumbly, because that was all my mind could conjure in its shock. Ethan looked the same as he ever had; although I wasn't sure why I was expecting that to change within a week. Perhaps I was sensing him becoming more like a stranger as the time of his absence stretched on. His soft green eyes lacked their usual spark, his jaw was clenched and the dark shadows under his eyes looked like bruises in the warm light. He wasn't any less handsome though.

"Where- where have you been?" I shook my head in disbelief, staring at him with a crushed expression no doubt, as he looked deeply pained to see me like that.

Ethan sighed, running a hand down his face. "I'm so sorry, Ivan. I- I was in Colorado. My best friend died Sunday night, and I flew back for the funeral," he explained. I found myself growing frustrated, my hands clenching at my sides into fists. Great, I can't possibly be mad at him if his friend died. How shitty would that be? I avoided looking at Ethan, and could feel my brows furrowing. I knew my expression wasn't very warm.

"Why would you do that to me?" I mutter.

"I- I know. I disappeared without telling anyone and I'm really sorry. I wasn't in a good headspace at all, then I broke my phone when we got to the hotel and-" he sighed. "I'm really sorry."

I laughed incredulously. "I want to be so mad at you right now."

"I know." Ethan looked down and jabbed his toe at the grass sheepishly. Looking out over the horizon, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This was my chance to show Ethan that I actually cared, that even if my face was blank and I didn't know the right words to say- that I would always be there for him. No matter what.

I squinted against the setting sun, before turning back towards the boy from down the street. The boy who seemed so big and capable when I first met him, now looked like a child, yearning for comfort and solidarity. Before the nerves made me change my mind, I surged forward and gathered him in my arms, holding his head against my shoulder, running my fingers through his loose brown waves that seemed muted and dirty now. I felt the hiccups of his back before I felt the tears soaking my shoulder, and I sighed before closing my eyes. I just couldn't stay mad at him. Not like this.

Painfully aware that Ethan could probably hear how hard my heart was beating, I pulled away from him just slightly to ask if he wanted me to spend the night. The meek nod that followed was all I needed.

Ethan stayed quiet on the walk back, his face blotchy and eyes rimmed red, and my heart wept for him. His pace was painfully slow as he kicked a stray rock down the street, and I was busy trying to figure out how I was supposed to comfort someone so broken.

Soon we ended up on his front porch, I held his bicep gently as I turned him to face me. His green irises stayed trained on the concrete, but he appeared to be listening.

"I'll be right back. Just going to get my things, okay?" My brows furrowed, squeezing gently to get his attention. All I got in return was a glum nod, his lips twisted in a grimace at the pain. I watched as he wandered inside lifelessly, and the second the front door closed, I shot across the street. I was finally needed. My sneakers smacked against the pavement loudly, but I had little care as I cut across the lawn and burst through the front door. Mrs. Clarissa was in the middle of setting down some pasta for dinner, looking up at me in surprise along with Benji and Mary.

"I'm sleeping over at Ethan's, he needs me." I huffed, trying to catch my breath as I grabbed my backpack.

"Ethan's back?" Mrs. Clarissa asked in surprise.

"His friend just died. He was in Colorado for the funeral. I need to be there for him." I stared into Mrs. Clarissa's eyes intensely, feeling like I have to convince her to let me be with Ethan. Mrs. Clarissa straightened, smoothing out her white blouse with an affirming look on her face.

"I agree. It sounds like he could really use a friend. Don't forget clothes and meds," she smiled, turning to dish out food for my younger siblings. I wasn't expecting too much push back, although I didn't anticipate for her to not even raise an eyebrow, especially given what happened the last time I spent the night somewhere. Before she could change her mind, I bounded up the stairs and just started shoving clothes in my bag without even looking at them. Hopefully I managed to get some pants in there somewhere. The bathroom was just as quick, a matter of throwing in my toothbrush and a mangled tube of toothpaste before flying down the hall.

When I arrived back downstairs, I made sure to stop in front of where Mrs. Clarissa was sitting, breathing out a quick thank you accompanied with a hug. She already had my nightly meds placed on a napkin, so I threw them in my mouth and washed them down with Benji's juice- to which he protested loudly.

"Don't get used to that!" I yelled on my way out, and I noticed a small smile playing on her lips before closing the front door. I jumped off the porch before running down the street, filled with a newfound determination knowing that Ethan was back home and safe. Once I stomped up the stairs to the front door of Ethan's house, I knocked on the front door sharply, panting as I tried to catch my breath. When the door creaked open, I came face to face with a middle aged woman instead of the teenage boy I was expecting.

"He's in his room. I'm glad you're here Ivan, Ethan could really use a friend right now," Mercedes smiled warmly while opening the door wider and stepping aside. I gave her a firm nod and a grateful smile as I walked into the Matthews' home. The kitchen was a mess, a suitcase was wide open on the kitchen table with toiletries littered around. It would have been obvious to anyone that they had just gotten back from traveling. I made sure not to stick around gawking at the mess for long, focusing instead on rushing up the stairs and hurrying down the hallway to Ethan's room. The door was wide open as Ethan sat on the floor, leaning up against his bed as he stared down at a picture frame in his hands. Creeping inside slowly, I felt as if I moved too quickly I would scare Ethan away. Like approaching a wounded animal.

"Hey," I breathed, sliding my backpack off my shoulders and letting it fall to the floor with a thump. His eyes flickered up to me quickly, before falling back down to the picture. "Hey," he whispered. Lowering myself down onto the floor next to him, I peered over to what he was looking at. It was a simple wooden frame, with a picture of Ethan standing next to a young girl with tan skin and dark brown hair. She had a splattering of freckles across her nose and cheekbones, both of them beaming towards the camera, and I noticed Ethan's arm was around her shoulders.

"Her name was Anna. She would have loved you," he sniffed, rubbing the sleeve of his long sleeve shirt across his teary eye.

"How'd she die?"

"Brain aneurysm. She was perfectly healthy as far as we knew, and just suddenly. . . wouldn't wake up the next morning," his voice trailed off.

"I'm sorry. That must have been really shocking for you to deal with."

"I remember I used to call her so late, worrying that I may have liked boys as much as I liked girls. She would always just laugh and call me stupid," Ethan chuckled softly. "I'll never forget what she said to me one night. She said 'Ethan, we live on a rock floating through a black void, you liking boys is the least of our problems.' I always thought she was being dramatic, but she was right regardless of how ridiculous it sounded," Ethan brushed his thumb across her face, a drop of water suddenly landing on the glass. I looked up at his expression, now filled with pain and tear tracks staining his face. "I talked to her all the time about you. She said it was about time someone gave me a run for my money."

I frowned, picking at the dry skin around my thumbnail. It would be so easy to just take his hand, or simply lean into his side to comfort him, but there was something so difficult about showing vulnerability to another person. Even to someone as kind as Ethan. I didn't want to come on too strong either, he was hurting and now wasn't the time to be adding more stress, regardless of the fact that I now know he likes me too. Feeling the thumping of my heart, I eventually decided to just go for it. Scooting closer to Ethan, I awkwardly wrapped my arms around his waist, giving him a slight squeeze. I felt his entire body go rigid, my eyes going wide as my brain automatically started working overtime on damage control.

Pulling away, I scooted back at least a foot and started spluttering. "I- I'm sorry that was really uncalled for. Just forget-"

I went quiet in shock as Ethan lunged forward and gave me a big bear hug, tucking his head under my chin like a child. I wrapped my arms back around him as I felt his back hiccup as his tears started to soak my grey sweater.

There was no telling how long we spent on the floor, Ethan crying and clutching me like a lifeline, but I didn't dare move until he eventually pulled away and stood up. His face was red and his eyes puffy, but he's never looked so handsome to me. Extending his hand, I took it and he helped hoist me up off the floor, muttering something about watching a movie. I simply followed him out of his room and down to the living room, where memories of the tension between us during our last movie night materialized in my mind. Tonight was different though, as though something had shifted and finally clicked where it should have been.

Ethan shuffled over to the DVD player and put in a disc as I sat at the end of the couch, leaning up against the arm. He shuffled over and sat directly in the middle, grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch and throwing it over both of us. The title screen of the movie appeared on the TV, and I smirked a little at his choice.

"Dirty Dancing?"

"Shut up. It's my comfort movie," he mumbled, pretending to be grumpy but I saw the corner of his mouth tick up a bit. After the opening sequence, I glanced at Ethan, who was staring intently at the screen and slowly taking over more and more of the blanket. Taking a breath, I extended my legs until my feet bumped up against his thigh. He looked over to me, eyes darting between my feet and my face quickly.

"Do you want to come over here?" I smile sheepishly. I had never seen someone's face light up as much as Ethan's did in that moment, and as if he was worried I would change my mind, he flies over to lay his head just above my navel and wrap the blanket tightly around himself. If you had held a gun to my head and asked me to summarize what had happened in the movie from the previous twenty minutes, you'd have to shoot me right between the eyes. I spent most of the time internally freaking out over the fact that Ethan Matthews was literally laying on top of me, and how his hair was a curly mess I wanted so badly just to rub my fingers through. Eventually the temptation became too much, and I started to gently play with his hair, carefully working out all the knots. Just like I do with Benji. He sighed in satisfaction, blinking slower and slower as the movie progressed until his eyes eventually stayed closed. I really felt for him, I couldn't imagine having someone so close be ripped away from you so suddenly. It really put into perspective how short and unpredictable life was. Resting my head against the pillow behind me, I stared outside the window and into the dark backyard. The sunset never lasts for long in the wintertime, and neither do the English Daisies.

~

Are we feeling the beginning of a relationship is close on the horizon? I guess we will have to see what happens :)

Leave a vote if you enjoyed the chapter!