This was how it was going to end for me. I never thought it would be like this, but I knew I wasn't going to survive. My stomach lurched and I gripped on to the toilet bowl for dear life.

"Take me now, Lord." I moaned as I felt the bile rise up my throat.

An awful stomach bug had wormed its way into me and for the last few weeks, it was slowly killing me. I felt my body heaving and braced myself for the soul wracking that was about to happen. While I was tossing my cookies, I faintly heard the back door open.

"McKayla?" Gemma called from somewhere.

"Ugh." I groaned loudly enough for her to be able find me.

Gemma poked her head in the door and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Still puking?" She asked.

I shot her a glare and rested my forehead on the seat.

"Ya know, you should be better by now. If it was the flu, I mean." She said, a smirk growing on her face.

I rolled my eyes and with all my strength pulled myself up onto the toilet seat.

"Gem, please." I whined.

She just shrugged and handed me my toothbrush. As I was loading it up, I felt another wave of nausea hit me.

"Oh for fucks sake!" I moaned before dropping back to the floor.

Gemma sighed and held back my hair while I emptied my stomach, again. When I was finished, Gemma wiped my face and I finally got to get that vile taste out of my mouth. I locked eyes with her in the mirror and I could see I was about to get a lecture.

"Alright listen, you've been puking your guts out for weeks and I think it's about time for a doctor visit. Either that or I'm buying you the piss stick." She commanded, her mom voice coming out.

It was my turn to sigh now. I wiped the spit from my face and left the room to change. She wasn't about to give up. She followed me out of the room and half way down the hall.

"You and Jax have been going at it like bunnies since you got back together and I know you ain't wrappin' it so it's bound to-"

I cut her off by facing her. I wanted to yell, I wanted to scream at her but I just didn't have the energy. Instead I just put my hands on my hips and closed my eyes.

"No Gemma, it's not. You know it's not possible." I said, exhausted.

She'd been dropping hints about being pregnant since I got sick and it was starting to get under my skin. Gemma just looked at me softly and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Anything's possible, sweetheart." Her tone was gentle and I just nodded.

Gemma busied herself with Abel and I went to get dressed for the day. I was still feeling like death warmed over so I just grabbed one of Jax's shirts and a comfy pair of jeans. Jax was away on a run and I missed him terribly. It didn't help that every time he called I could hear a party going on in the background. He assured me that he wasn't getting into any trouble and that he missed me as much as I missed him. I knew that this was our first test since getting back together and that I had to trust Jax to be faithful to me. I pushed down every ounce of suspicion I had and tried to stay as busy as I could. I even went to a doctor's appointment with Tara.

We found out that they were going to have a little boy. My instincts wanted me to be bitter. To be jealous of her, but I wasn't. I wouldn't let myself do that. When Tara looked up at me with tears of joy swimming in her eyes, I couldn't help but be happy. Jax was getting another little boy. He was going to be so excited.

As I was pulling my shirt down, my hand skimmed over my stomach. Gemma's words echoed through my mind. Maybe she was right. I was only sick in the morning, I never had a fever or any other symptoms of the flu, but pregnant? I shook my head as if to shake the thoughts right out of my skull. It was not possible.

Gemma was feeding Abel some cereal when I came out. He saw me first and reached up for me.

"Mama!" He squealed happily.

My heart swelled and Gemma smiled wide and kissed my temple.

"You are his mother." She said softly.

I nodded confidently and kissed the top of Abel's head.

"And pretty soon, you'll have another." Gemma said while she rinsed her coffee cup out in the sink.

Her back was to me, but I could hear the smirk in her voice. I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Tara's baby isn't gonna call me mom." I said with a chuckle.

Gemma spun around and leaned against the sink with her arms crossed.

"That's not the baby I meant." She explained.

I shook my head and fed Abel another spoonful of Cheerio's. I tried to shrug the comment off but something inside was gnawing at me. I threw my hands up in defeat and faced her.

"Fine! If it'll shut you up I'll go to the doctor, but be ready for the 'I told you so' speech." I told her, waving my finger.

A wicked grin spread across her face and she all but dragged me and Abel out of the house. When we got to St. Thomas, the first person we ran into of course was Tara. Concern spilled onto her face and she rushed over to me.

"McKayla, is Abel alright?" She asked me, completely ignoring Gemma.

Gemma snorted and kept right on walking. I shook my head and touched her arm.

"He's fine. I haven't been feeling well so I'm just getting checked out." I assured her.

She visibly relaxed and before she could say anything else, she was paged away. I eventually caught up with Gemma as she was signing me in. As we waited, I started to get nervous.

I knew that it wasn't possible for me to be pregnant, but a tiny piece of me thought what if I was?

"McKayla?" A nurse snapped me out of my thoughts. Gemma stayed in the waiting room with Abel and I looked back at her. I really wished she would've come with me.

"Holy shit." I said for the hundredth time since we left the hospital. Gemma had a huge, shit eating grin plastered on her face.

"What was the speech you were gonna give me?" She teased.

I couldn't say anything. In fact, I hadn't said much of anything since the doctor explained everything to me. Turning my head to look at Gemma, my mouth just fell open. I couldn't get any words to come out. Gemma let out a loud cackling laugh and squeezed my hand. When we got to the garage Gemma took Abel into the clubhouse to change him and I just sank into a chair outside. What the hell was I going to do?

"Hey McKayla, you hear from Jax today?" Juice called from behind me.

Juice, Opie, and Piney stayed back while the rest of them went on the run. Clay said it was to make sure none of those bastards that tried to kill them came back and caused more trouble. Juice was looking at me expectantly. Right, he asked me a question.

"I'm sorry Juicy, what did you say?" I asked him with a shake of my head.

"I asked you if you've heard from Jax yet today." He said slowly.

He was eyeing me up suspiciously with his hands stuffed in his vest pockets.

"N-no, I haven't. Have you?" I stuttered.

Juice nodded and sat at the picnic table beside me.

"Yeah, he said everything went well and they'll be home by tomorrow." He explained.

Tomorrow. 24 hours was all I had to figure out what the hell I was going to do. I was going to need some help. I glanced sideways at Juice and chewed on my lip.

"Juicy, I need your help." I said, reaching over to touch his hand.

He pulled it away sharply and tucked it back in his pocket.

"I don't know McKayla, the last time I helped you...it didn't really turn out all that good." He said.

I winced and pulled my hand back. I almost forgot that I asked Juice to give me the pills.

"Jesus, Juice I'm so sorry. I never should've gotten you mixed up in all that." I said softly.

He wouldn't look at me. He just kicked some dirt with the toe of his boot.

"I'm lucky Jax didn't kill me." He said quietly.

My heart was heavy. I didn't realize what I had put Juice through that night; how awful he must have felt. I got up from my chair and knelt down in front of him. I put my hand on his knee and this time he didn't move away.

"Juice, please. I promise this is nothing like that. But I do need help." I told him.

Juice took a deep breath and smiled softly at me.

"What do you need?"

It was 10 am. Jax wasn't due home until later tonight and I had a lot of work to do. Since I've been sicker than a dog, I sort of neglected the housework. Dirty dishes were piled on the sink, laundry was thrown on every surface in the house and not to mention the takeout containers littering the coffee table. I pulled my hair up into a bun and put my hands on my hips.

"Let's do this." I said to myself.

I plugged my phone into the surround sound and threw a dance party for one. I figured if I tackled one room at a time, I just might get done before Jax got home. Abel started digging in the pantry around noon so I figured it was a good time to take a break. Gemma walked through the door just as I put Abel in his booster seat. She was carrying some take out from the diner.

"My hero!" I exclaimed as I ran over to hug her.

She made a face and brushed me off of.

"You're sweaty and gross. What the hell have you been doing?" She asked.

I laughed and took the food bags from her and set them on the table.

"I've been cleaning this pigsty of a house." I replied.

Gemma looked around the kitchen, which I had just cleaned, and nodded in approval.

"About time." She said under her breath.

I shot her a look and she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"You talk to Jax yet?" She asked me.

I shook my head, my mouth full with a delicious burger. Gemma nodded and took a long sip of her coffee. I swallowed and faced her fully.

"Have you?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

She shook her head no and picked up a French fry to feed Abel.

"Gemma," I said warningly.

She put her hands up in defense then stole a fry for herself.

"Alright I talked to him. But I swear I didn't say anything and trust me when I say it about killed me." She said.

I studied her carefully. If there was one thing Gemma was good at, it was a poker face. But this time I could tell she was telling the truth.

"Thank you, I appreciate that." I said.

She rolled her eyes and ate another fry. After lunch, Gemma kept Able entertained so I could clean the rest of the house. It felt so good to finally give that bathroom a good cleaning. I could actually walk in it and not smell the vile stench of vomit. The bedroom wasn't as bad as the rest of the house. I didn't really spend much time there since Jax has been gone. I've either slept in Abel's room or on the couch. After changing the sheets and making the bed, I flopped down on it. I let out a puff of air and closed my eyes.

"Okay, the house is clean and ready for Jax to come home. Now I just gotta get to Juice." I said to myself.

With a groan, I pulled myself up. I had to get moving. I ran a quick shower and when I checked the time it was already 4:30. I had to haul ass if I wanted to get everything done before Jax got home. I pulled on a black v neck Harley shirt and a tight pair of jeans. I left my hair wet and just scrunched it so it was curly.

"Gem!" I called from the bedroom as I pulled on my boots.

She poked her head in the room with Abel on her hip.

"What's up?" She asked.

I put the finishing touches on my makeup and turned to face her.

"I've got some last minute errands to run before Jax gets back. Do you think you can take Abel for the night?" I asked her.

"Oh sure, stick me with the kid so you and Jax can bone all night." She said as she rolled her eyes.

I stuck out my bottom lip and folded my hands together.

"Please Gemma?" I begged.

She sighed and nodded.

"Alright alright. But you owe me." She said.

I smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Whatever you want." I promised her.

I packed Abel and overnight bag and the three of us left for the garage. Juice was waiting for me in the clubhouse. He was trying so hard to contain his smile. I smiled back and sat on a barstool.

"So, I take it you were able to get it?" I asked him.

His grin nearly split his face and he handed me a small, white, box. I peeked inside and couldn't hold back my squeal of delight.

"Juicy this is perfect!" I shouted.

I flung my arms around his neck and Juice laughed out loud.

"I'm glad I could help." He said through laughs.

Juice set me back down and rubbed the back of his neck.

"So, did you tell Jax yet?" He asked me.

I sighed and shook my head.

"Nope, but this is going to help me." I said, pointing to the box.

I smiled at Juice and took his hand in mine.

"I really couldn't have pulled this off without you, Juice. Jax is going to love it." I told him.

Juice's cheek flushed red and he shifted his weight on his feet.

"It was nothing." He mumbled with a smile.

I leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. His blushed deepened and I threw my head back with a laugh.

"Oh hey, I talked to Tig about a half hour ago. They should be back soon." He said.

I nodded and tucked the box into my purse for safe keeping.

"You think you could give me a ride back?" I asked him.

Juice nodded and we headed back home. When we got there he told me to expect Jax soon. I gave him one last hug before watching him speed down the street. I took a deep breath and unlocked the door. The smell of cleanser was welcoming. Jax was going to know right away something was up. My nerves were starting to creep up on me and I was ready to abandon my plan altogether. I was running out of time. Jax was going to be there any minute, if I was going to do this I had to set it up now. I pulled the tiny box out of my purse and set it on the kitchen table where I knew Jax would see it. Now it was time to wait.

"Alright boys, go home and get some sleep. We'll catch everyone up in the morning." Clay said after we pulled into TM.

After riding all day, I needed to stretch my legs before I headed home. I lit a cigarette and took a lap around the property. Behind me I heard a bike pull up. It was Juice. Now where was he?

"Hey Juice!" I called out to him.

He jumped about 10 feet in the air. I laughed and jogged across the parking lot to meet him.

"Jesus, you alright?" I asked him.

Juice swallowed hard and put his hands in his pockets.

"Shit Jax, I didn't know you were back yet." He said.

He was twitchy. He looked like he was about to jump out of his skin. I took a drag from my cigarette and blew the smoke into the air.

"We just got back. Where were you?" I asked.

"Me? Nowhere." He said quickly.

I raised my eyebrow at him and he looked away from me. Something was up.

"You got something you want to tell me?" I asked slowly.

His head snapped up and he shook it fast.

"N-no! Everything's cool." He said with a nervous chuckle.

"Riight." I said as I took another drag.

"Yeah, I um gotta go." He muttered before practically running towards the garage.

I shook my head and walked back to my bike. I was definitely ready to go home. I couldn't wait to see McKayla. God I missed that woman. Every night during this run we would stop at a bar or strip club so the guys could get some action. All I could think about was my Old Lady at home. Half the time I would wait outside until they were ready to go. After everything McKayla and I had gone through, I wasn't about to throw it away because some slut gave me a lap dance.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed my mom in the office window.

"Hey mom." I said as I leaned in the doorway.

Gemma smiled and held her arms open for me.

"Welcome home, baby." She said softly as she held me.

I hummed in response and noticed Abel fast asleep on the couch.

"What's he doing here? Is McKayla alright?" I asked her.

Gemma rolled her eyes and sat down behind her desk.

"Oh she's fine. She just wanted the house empty for you two tonight." She said with a wave of her hand.

I let out a sigh of relief and bent down to kiss Abel's head.

"You should clear outta here before he wakes up." She said.

I nodded and kissed her temple.

"I know. I love you mom." I told her, backing out the door.

She waved my off, but I could see a smirk stretching across her lips.

"What is with everyone today." I said to myself as I climbed on my bike.

My whole body was tired. I couldn't wait to get home, kiss McKayla, then take the longest shower of my life. Don't get me wrong I love to go on runs but there is nothing like coming home.

"Babe, I'm home." I called out as I walked through the door.

No answer. McKayla did say she hadn't been feeling well, so maybe she was sleeping. I shrugged out of my vest and gun holster and hung them on the back of a kitchen chair. That's when I noticed a little white box on the kitchen table. It wasn't addressed to anyone but I could tell that it was opened once already. A pit formed in my stomach. What if it was something bad? What if whatever it was hurt McKayla and that's why she didn't answer me?

"Shit." I said under my breath.

With shaky hands, I reached out to take the box. It was light, too light for a bomb or anything else that could hurt me. I put my left hand on top of the box and pulled the lid off. Tucked in white tissue paper was a tiny hat with a Reaper on it. It was a baby hat. My mouth went dry and my heart pounded hard in my chest. A baby hat? What could that mean?

"Welcome home, Jax." I could barely hear McKayla over the sound of my racing heart.

I spun around, still clutching the hat in my hand. McKayla was smiling but I could tell she was nervous. She was wringing her hands together and not looking at me directly.

"W-what is this?" I croaked out.

I could see her swallow hard as she took a step towards me.

"What do you think it is, Jax?" She said her voice just above a whisper.