McKayla

“Sweet dreams, angel.” I whispered to Abel as I laid him down in his crib.

It had been a long day for us. After Jax left, Gemma picked Abel and I up and we ran around town. Next weekend is Abel’s first birthday and we want it to be perfect. Gemma was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee when I came back out.

“Did he fall asleep?” She asked.

I smiled and poured myself a cup of coffee.

“As soon as he hit the mattress.” I said with a nod.

She smiled and pulled her reading glasses out along with a notebook and pen.

“Okay, so we looked at a clown and a petting zoo. All we need is the food and a place to have it.” She said.

I nodded and sat down across from her. She looked up at me and put her head in her palm.

“How are you and Jax?” She asked.

I sighed happily and wrapped my hands around my coffee mug. I thought about this morning and how he was looking at me before he left. He loves me. He really loves me and I can see it. Last night while he sleeping, he started mumbling something in his sleep. He was tossing and turning and getting more upset. I leaned over to him and rested my hand on his chest and kissed his cheek. Right away, Jax seemed to relax and wrapped his hand around mine.

“We’re good.” I said.

Gemma smiled softly and reached her hand across the table and took mine.

“Good. I’m glad you’re home, sweetie.” She said.

I nodded and she stood up.

“Alright well I’m gonna take off. Don’t forget to talk to Jax about the party.” She said.

She leaned down and kissed the top of my head before walking out the door. I let out an exhausted sigh and ran my hands through my hair. Planning a birthday party is hard work. After downing a second cup of coffee, I decided to tidy up the house a little before Jax came home.

Once I got started, there was no stopping me. Two hours in and I had the kitchen sparkling and was working on the living room. I just started to dust the entertainment stand when I heard Jax pull up. I smiled and went to meet him at the door. It was midnight. The clock in the kitchen just chimed twelve times.

As soon as Jax opened the door, I could tell something was off. His eyes were darting all over the place, but they never rested on me.

“Where’s my son?” He asked distractedly.

I took a small step back and pointed down the hall.

“Sleeping.” I said in a small voice.

Without another word, Jax went into Abel’s room and closed the door behind him. I felt a cold chill run down my spine and I hugged myself. It was almost like someone sucked the life out of me. A few minutes later, Jax reappeared in the hall.

“We need to talk.” Was all he said as he walked into the bedroom.

My heart started pounding and my mind racing. What on earth is going on? It felt like it took me ages to walk down that hallway. Jax was pacing and running his hands through his hair when I got to the doorway.

“Close the door.” He said without looking at me.

I swallowed hard and did as I was told.

The pacing went on for another minute before he finally stopped and looked at me for the first time since he got home.

“Just tell me why.” He said.

I opened my mouth to say something but he cut me off.

“After everything I’ve done for you, after everything that we’ve been through. Why?”

I shook my head slowly and raised an eyebrow.

“Jax, what are you talking about?” I asked.

He clenched his jaw and sighed deeply.

“If you’re straight with me, I might be able to fix this. But if you lie there’s nothing I can do.” He went on.

I could see him trembling. He was fighting to keep himself in control. He was angry. Angry at me. I took a step towards him and immediately he stepped back.

“Fix what? Jax, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said softly.

His eyes narrowed and he shoved his hand in his jeans pocket.

“I’m talking about this.” He said as he threw something at me.

It was a card. A business card. Gabriel’s business card. I picked it up and closed my eyes.

“Where did you get this?” I asked in a hushed voice.

This time he took a step closer and I could feel the heat coming off him.

“It doesn’t matter. All that does is you’re talking to some lawyer. Do you know what happens to rats, McKayla?” He spat.

Rats? He thinks I’m a rat? My eyes popped open and I stared at him.

“You, you think I’m a rat?” I asked him.

He turned from me and walked to the dresser. He was gripping it with such force that I thought he could break it. In the mirror I could see him looking down at his hands.

“What am I supposed to think? You use me to kill your ex and then you take off for two weeks only to come back unannounced. You make me tell you details about club business and then I find out that you’ve been meeting with a god damn lawyer.”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. How would he know that I’ve met with Gabriel? How did he even get the business card?

“I really thought you were different. Now I know you’re no better than the whores that hang around the club. You’ll say anything to get laid. Is that what he does? Does he fuck you for intel on us?” He said in a dark voice.

Everything came to a halt in my mind and the only thing I heard was ‘whore’. Jax was calling me a whore. He thought I was sleeping with Gabriel. I gasped and staggered back as if he punched me in the stomach. When I didn’t say anything, he turned back around to face me. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t let him see the tears that were falling from my eyes. When I finally calmed myself enough to speak, I kept my head down.

“I met him on the plane when I was coming back here. He was sitting beside me on the plane. He’s a medical malpractice attorney and he’s gay. Him and his boyfriend just moved to Lodi. I never mentioned the club to him. Yes, I met with him once since I’ve been back but only for lunch. I would never rat on you or the club, Jax.” I said.

“How do I know you’re not lying to cover your ass? That’s what the crow eaters do. They say exactly what you want to hear just so they can get you into bed.” He said.

Suddenly, I felt myself getting angry. Not once have I lied to him or held anything back. How dare he compare me to the crow eaters. I stood up straight and looked him in the eye.

“Because I love you, Jax and I would never lie to you. Can you say the same?” I asked.

That caught him off guard. While he was silent, I reached into my purse, which was beside the bed, and pulled out the panties that I found tucked in the sheets. I tossed them at him and crossed my arms. He caught them and looked at me confused.

“What’s this?” He asked.

“You tell me. I found them in the bed when I came home. They’re not mine.” I said.

On his face I could see he was thinking hard. When it finally hit him, he closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

“You say I’m the cheater and the whore, Jax? How can you say that when you have some other woman’s panties in your bed?” I asked him.

The tables have turned drastically.

“McKayla I was drunk and lonely,” He started but I stopped him.

“Don’t. Don’t even try to use that excuse on me. You slept with someone else in the bed that we shared. I thought I meant something to you, but I can see that I don’t. You were quick to call me a whore, but who’s the one who cheated? Not me, Jax. Maybe my grandmother was right. I was just the flavor of the week and as soon as I left, you were on to the next one.” I said.

Jax was shaking his head. I could see that this isn’t where he planned on this conversation going. He opened his mouth to speak, but I didn’t want to hear it. I turned on my heel and opened the door.

“I thought you were different too.” I said over my shoulder.

I didn’t stick around to hear what his response was. From the bedroom I walked down the hall and right out the door. I didn’t want to be in the house another second. I couldn’t take it. Everything he said was playing over and over in my head. He honestly believed that I was ratting the club out. He didn’t trust me at all.

My chest felt like it was caving in. It hurt so badly that I had to stop walking. I didn’t realized how far or how long I’d been walking until then. I could hear a motorcycle coming up behind me. I sighed and prepared myself to yell at Jax some more. When he pulled up beside me and took off his helmet, I couldn’t help but sigh in relief. It was Chibs.

“He called you, didn’t he?” I asked him.

He cut the engine and nodded.

“Aye, said you walked out and to see if I could get you.” He said.

I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest.

“I’m not going back there.” I said defiantly.

Chibs smiled a little and handed me his helmet.

“You don’t have to.” He said.

I took it and got behind him.

“Or the clubhouse.” I added.

He chuckled.

“Don’t have to go there either.” He said.

I raised my eyebrow and put my arms around his waist.

“Then where are we going?” I asked.

“My house.” He said.

He started the bike back up and off we went.

Chibs lived in a little one bedroom house not far from Jax’s. I guess that’s why Jax called him after me. I watched Chibs as he took his cut off, followed by his gun holster and put them on the counter, just like Jax did. We sat down on the couch and I awkwardly looked around. Obviously, he wasn’t here much. There was no tv, just a couch and a coffee table. On the table was a picture of a young girl. He was grinning from ear to ear.

“Is that your daughter?” I asked him.

Chibs smiled sadly and nodded.

“Aye. That’s my little girl.” He said.

“Where is she?” I asked.

“With her mom, back home.” He said.

His voice was tight and I could tell it was a sore subject, so I left it alone.

“Look, I don’t know what happened with you and Jax tonight but I do know that he loves you. He loves you and he needs you more than you could ever know. Jax is under a lot of pressure right now and he’s just trying to deal with it. If you love him, you can work this out.” He said.

I liked Chibs. He always seemed like a father figure to everyone. But I wasn’t sure that this was something I could fix, no matter how much I loved Jax. We didn’t talk anymore after that. Chibs just leaned over and kissed my temple before getting up. He brought me a blanket and I settled down into a restless sleep.

I was awoken by the smell of pancakes in the morning. Chibs was wearing a ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron and flipping the pancakes on the stove.

“Mornin’ love.” He said.

I smiled and sat down at the table. Chibs put two pancakes on a plate for me and handed me a cup of coffee.

“Morning.” I said.

We ate in silence then I did the dishes while he got ready.

“Anywhere you want me to take you?” He asked as he shrugged his cut on.

“Jax’s house.” I said.

He tilted his head and picked his helmet up.

“Don’t you mean your house?” He asked.

I shook my head and took the helmet from him.

“No, I don’t.”

Thankfully, Jax was already gone when we pulled up. Chibs had to get to church so he left me in the driveway. Neeta was busy feeding Abel when I came in.

“Morning, McKayla. Jax is already gone.” She said.

I nodded and kissed Abel.

“I hate to ask this of you, but I really need to do some things for my mother today. I can take the baby with me of course, it would just be easier-“ I cut her off.

“It’s fine, Neeta. I’ll be here for a while.” I told her.

She smiled gratefully at me and gave me a big hug. It took everything I had not to break down in her arms.

“Is everything alright honey?” She asked me.

I swallowed down the tears and plastered on a smile.

“Yeah, everything is fine.” I lied.

She knew I was lying but she didn’t say anything. After she took off, I put Abel in his crib so I could take a quick shower. When I was finished, I threw on a black shirt and some jeans and pulled my suitcase down from the closet and tossed it on the bed. I shoved everything I had into it and dragged it out to the kitchen. I was going to leave him. I could put up with a lot. The killing, the gun running, and even the porn sluts. But, being cheated on and being called a whore is something I would never put up with again.

A lump formed in my throat when I thought about Abel. I went into his room and saw him standing up smiling at me. I couldn’t stop the tears at that point. I picked him up and held him close to me.

“I want you to listen to me, okay? I love you so much. And I don’t want you ever to think that I left because of you. You probably won’t even remember me in a few months when daddy finds someone to replace me, but if you ever do, know how much I love you and I always will. My sweet little angel.” I said to him.

Abel kissed my cheek and brought his tiny hand up to touch a tear on my cheek. I kissed him and put him back down in the crib and left the room, closing the door behind me.

As I reached the kitchen, I heard a bike pull up. I was not in the mood to talk to Jax. Thankfully, it was only Kip.

“I heard Jax telling Opie that you guys had a fight last night.” He said when I let him in.

I rolled my eyes and leaned against the counter.

“He thinks I’m a rat.” I said.

Kip’s mouth fell open and he shook his head.

“No way. Why would he think that?” He asked in shock.

I sighed and threw my hands up.

“He found a business card that Gabriel gave me. But what gets me is that he knew that I had met with him in Charming. I don’t understand how he would even know that.” I said.

As I was talking, I could see the wheels turning in Kip’s head. His eyes bulged and he put his hands on his head.

“Oh shit. McKayla I’m so sorry.” He said.

I raised my eyebrow.

“Clay told me to tail you. He told me he’d make sure I never patched in if I didn’t. I didn’t know he’d tell Jax.” He said.

Now it all makes sense. I closed my eyes and hung my head for a moment.

“It’s okay. I understand. It’s not your fault.” I said.

I looked up and saw Kip start to say something. Before he did, his eyes flickered to something behind me.

“NO!” He shouted.

Like a flash, Kip grabbed me and threw me to the ground. A gun went off and Kip fell by the kitchen table. My heart was racing and fear spread throughout my body.

Standing in the kitchen was a man in a black hoodie and dark jeans. His face was bruised, but healing and he was holding a gun pointed at me. Kip was bleeding badly, but holding his gun pointed at the man.

“Are you Jax Teller’s girl?” The man asked me.

I swallowed and struggled to find my voice.

“Yes.” I said.

A sick smirk spread across his face and he stood over me.

“Good.”

He was going to kill me. He aimed his gun directly at my head and cocked it. I had to think fast or I was going to die.

“Wait. You don’t want to do that.” I said nervously.

The man raised his eyebrow and let out a laugh.

“Oh? Why is that?” He humored me.

I swallowed hard and kept talking.

“You’re trying to get back at Jax for something right? Well killing me is the worst thing you could possibly do.” I said.

Now he was listening.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

I slowly pulled myself up so that I was standing. Kip was looking at me and glaring at me to be quiet.

“Because if you kill me, he’s gonna come after you and he’s gonna kill you. He won’t stop until he does. Trust me. He cut my ex boyfriend’s heart out because he used to hit me. What do you think he’ll do to you?” I said.

I was terrified. My whole body was shaking and I was trying hard to keep it out of my voice.

“What do you suggest I do then?” He asked me.

I glanced at Kip and took a deep breath.

“Take me with you. Jax will do anything to find me. This way you have him and he’s the one you really want to hurt.” I said.

“McKayla, what are you doing?” Kip asked.

I shushed him and kept my focus on this man holding at gun at my face. He thought about it for a moment. I swear he could hear my heart pounding. He reached over and grabbed my arm.

“You’re sure he’d come for you?” He asked.

I nodded quickly.

“He loves me. He’d do anything for me.” I said.

I hoped with everything in my soul that was still true. The man bent down to Kip and put the gun under his chin.

“Listen carefully, you will wait an hour and then you will call Jax and tell him I have his woman and I’ll kill her if he doesn’t come to me. Understand?” He said.

Kip looked at me and I pleaded with him to go along with this. It was the only shot I had at staying alive. The man kicked Kip and he let out a howl. I gasped and closed my eyes.

“Do you understand?!” He shouted.

Kip nodded and the man grabbed me again. He stood behind me and had the gun to my back.

“If you make a sound I will shoot you in the street and leave your body for Jax to find.” He whispered to me.

I swallowed hard and we walked to the back of the house. The man opened his trunk and pushed me inside. The last thing I saw was he black and blue face smiling a disgusting smile at me before he slammed the lid.