《Fallen ✔️》.16*
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it's 2:30 am
and my self hatred
claws its way
up my throat
and rips itself
away from my mouth
in a silent scream
always the second choice,
forever the second choice
i am alone
it is always natalie,
forever natalie
what about me?
this isn't about you,
this is about me
i am alone
you were
a lighthouse, yes
but even the
best of the lighthouses
cannot save a ship
destined for the rocks
the ship
is doomed
to sink
i am alone
when the blade
parts my skin
when the cuts
get deeper
there is no one
there is no you
i am alone
when all the haze
of lies
lifts away
and the only
real thing is
the blood
running down
my arms
i realize
the truth
i am alone
.
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"Montana, come here." He nodded his head toward the door, leaving out of the room. Staying silent as Ms. Carol looked at me, I kissed the back of Josiah's hand before leaving out of the room. As I walked out, Messiah stood there looking at me in disgust while I closed the door. "What are you doing that shit for?" "Huh?" I said since I had nothing else to say, just trying to stall time to get my words together."Why are you stripping, Monty?"Sighing, I decided that I wasn't going to lie like I'd originally planned to do after listening to Chocolate's stupid advice. "Money." I spoke simply and he scoffed as I looked down."Why not just ask Josiah for money instead doing hoe shit?" "First of all, It's not doing hoe shit. I don't have sex with anyone. I just dance. And I don't want to ask him for any money. It's not his job to take care of me.""So stripping..." He trailed off with a laugh."..stripping was the last resort? Instead of putting your pride aside?" Saying nothing, I just looked at him with pleading eyes."Please don't tell him, Messiah." I could already tell by the look on his face that he was going to tell him."I ain't gon' tell him.." Thank God. I thought. "..you are." "What?!" I shrieked. "No. I'm not.""You are." He spoke in a demanding tone."Please. You know how he is." I expressed"And you know how he is too but you made that bed." "Messiah, he's going to kill me." I begged."I know." He shook his head, walking away from me."Better figure it out. You got until the end of the day to tell him or I will." He mumbled before walking back into the room.
8 185
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